#stoned texts

[sunandotherstars]

Your parents know you're high and alone in your apartment when they get texts like this on a Tuesday night

[averysickkitty]

[xbreannamacek]

12:38 am

[4x4girl]

Stoned texting

Is just as bad as drunk texting. Fuck my life. Why do I do this to myself guys?!

[shorbycone]

ok no but just think about how drunk/high texting would be back in the 1800s like you'd be high as fuck and just send "wacky tabbacky" to your friend at 4 am and weeks later he'd get a letter that just says       w a ck y              ta b b a  c k y

[chill-guys]

I just don't know what time is anymore, all I know is that I'm travelling through it at an alarming rate

[forestlanguages-blog]

texts. haha

Phillip: Hurry please, I'm running out of cheese.

Me: WHAT? WHERE'S THE CHEESE. I can't have it! I'm lactose intolerant.

Phillip: I got a block of cheese from dollar general. I need a quarter so I can get some soda. I'm thirsty

Me: Don't kiss me with it! It would kill me

Phillip: No it won't

Me: It will make your girly gassy!

Phillip: I'm already gassy, so it won't bother me

Me: What if I ate cheesecake. What if we were cheesecakes!

Phillip: I would have committed a delicious suicide.

Me: So would I. If a cheesecake eats part of itself, will it just gain it back? Or do cheesecakes poo? That would be whipped cream.

Phillip: This is trippy and is making me hungrier.