#stop controlling

[paizleyrayz]

You can't handcuff the wind,

If you try you're gonna fail,

It's like tryna put thunder in jail,

You can't handcuff the wind!

[airysunfierymoonx]

Stop trying to fight with those who wanna walk out of your life. Whatever reason as to why they wanna leave you behind let them go anyway. If you try to force them to stay with you when they don’t want to will make things far more worse. That person won’t even be happy if they stayed. It’ll be good on your behalf but not theirs. So learn to let go. They don’t see it the same way you do. Those who wanna be around you, talk to you, wanna be your friend or whatever will continue too. Those ones are actually meant to be for now. At the end of the day, people come and go. You gain some, you lose some. It’s just life. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. We learn. We grow. Things are always changing. We gotta keep moving even when people we thought we was cool with just walks out.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

“Suicide prevention”

...is a euphemism for control. Yep. As much as you might like to believe it’s about compassion and helpfulness, it’s not. It’s about your desire to control what other people do with their lives. That’s the straight-up truth for you to look in the mirror and deal with.

[maroon5-official]

I had a fucked up dream last night I just want this to end

[createyourlifeofabundance]

Learning to let go...

Today had been a challenging day, although necessary in growing and learning more of how to stay in the vortex, on the high flying disc.

A little bit of background - Cole is my stepson and his mother really only cares about getting full child support from Sean. She's only in it for the money and Cole is suffering. He was at his mom's this weekend, something must have happened because Sean got a phone call from his principal letting him know he's reporting her to Child Protective Services. The principal was going to talk to her and we do not get Cole again until Wednesday so I have no idea what he's going through, but I can only imagine.

Part of the reason I bring this up is because Sean is so determined that if he were to call Child Services himself, they would laugh in his face - he finally got the courage to call and report her for all the things Cole has told us in the past and that's exactly what they did - laughed in Sean's face and said nothing can be done until Cole comes to school with broken bones. I am being hopeful in that we never have to experience this, but Sean has fully and completely attracted the County not willing to help him gain full custody of his son. 

The other part of this story - she just happens to text Sean today about Thanksgiving and we know she has not received the phone call from the principal yet. I have been planning to host Thanksgiving for a month now. We have Cole for the weekend. I have made a few dishes and the turkey is thawed in the fridge. I need to marinate it in the brine tomorrow night and Sean's parents are coming from Wisconsin. Cole's mom has decided she wants Cole for Thanksgiving and she has not wanted him on that day in 5 years.  Needless to say, Sean and Cole's mom argued for 8 hours today and Thanksgiving is up in the air and I'm pissed. I have no idea still what we're doing - she wants us to have Thanksgiving without Cole. We don't do that.

First of all, I was angry - how can someone be that much of a bitch to completely turn 5 people's lives upside down because she is all about the appearance of looking good to her family because she has a kid? This is what she does, absolutely 100% does not care about anyone, or Cole, only herself.

Second, I was angry at Sean. Why can he not put his foot down and say no to this woman? He is always letting her control him and making us drop everything at the last second to be at her beck and call.

Cole and I have a special relationship and this is why - I am realizing more and more everyday just how important is it for a child, whether born to you or not, needs to have some stability in their life. They need to have some kind of a constant, loving, supporting adult that fully and truly cares about them and their well being.

This has been slow progress for me, because I would let the anger from Cole's mom get the best of me. In the past I would see his faults as being a bad kid, but I now realize he is not a bad kid. He just wants to be fully, unconditionally loved.

I am learning his mom is the way she is and no longer can I be affected by her. brilliantlove2 - Candice - and I were talking tonight, (we have been friends for 5 years and Sean and Candice went to high school together) that this is finally the time to let go of the drama. What is between Sean and Cole's mom is between them. Because I was so wrapped up into the drama today, which she does not give one flying fuck about, it put me in a crabby mood for a good part of the day, and I was the only one affected by it. I am learning Sean will change when he's ready to change, and stand up for what's right in his and Cole's life when he's ready to.

As for me, this is my time to focus more on being that love and hope in Cole's life, the constant love he can always count on. It is necessary to focus on what keeps me in the vortex. I am committing to living more peacefully and abundantly and not to be affected by people and things that do not necessarily concern me, and I do not have control over - nor do I want. I have been teaching Cole the law of attraction and he sees the benefits of living a happy, positive life. This is my new focus in life - doing the best for myself, so that I can help others and show them the way to live their best for themselves. I am letting go of all that does not serve me, and, I like this analogy - I'm going to flow like a river. That's the hope anyway - take life as it comes, while living happily on the high flying disc. 

[reality-aint-real]