#stopping here

[brave-symphonia]

Mordred too?

[postphdneurolife]

~ Tag game ~

Rules: answer 20 this-or-that questions, tag your friends , then add a cute gif!

I was tagged by @small-french-studyblr, thank you so much! Love your blog <3

Milk or Water?

Cupcakes or Cakes?

Cacti or Succulents or Big leafy plants?

Circles or Triangles?

Roses or Daisies?

Almonds or Walnuts?

Cats or Dogs? That was sooo difficult, as a child I was a cat-lover, now I am becoming more of a dog-person.

Warm colours or Cool colours?

Sunset or Sunrise? Super difficult, but the emotions and inspiration that hit me with the sunrise are different... <3

Sun or Moon?

Polka dots or Stripes?

Apple or Android?

Autumn or Spring? Absolutely both!!

Winter or Summer?

Heels or Flats?

Dark shades or Lighter shades? (Don’t know really, depends for what...)

Pants + Shirt or Dress/Skirt? (more likely)

Hair up or Hair down?

Online or In-store shopping?

Snail mail or Digital penpal?

I am sorry it took me ages @small-french-studyblr ! I think, we kind of are friends :D Well, here I am asking whether we could be friends officially :D

I am tagging: @sapphiredwolf @particlepostgrad @gabrilearnelle @isoundfineontheoutside @yokecyansim @phd-on-fire  @gliagirlphd @phdead @deathfugue​ @biologically-confused @caffeinated-phd @whowantstobeaphd @interdisciplinary-disaster @vindobonensis​ @ananditade​

(Penguins are a mistery to me)

Some of you I don’t really know much, so I’m looking forward to find out more, but please don’t feel obliged to do the tag! I just think it is really fun. Or to anyone, let me know if you wanna get tagged or actually just do the tag if you want to because you actually are all my friends and mutuals.

[teaandinanity]

Soft OC asks with cute little emojis: for whomever you please (but especially your 7kpp ladies because I'm 7kpp trash and chomping at the bit for the new build to be out):🌹 🍄 🌻 🥀 (in case they don't send: rose, mushroom, sunflower, weird droopy flower thing(the question about decorating a notebook)) and bonus for you! 💫 (stars or what's your favorite fact about them and why)

Eeee thank you! I have… way too many OCs. This is so long. I’m sorry.

Soft OC Asks

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

In filling this out, I realized I almost ALWAYS make my characters ‘home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling’ people. I am Sadly Predictable.

Calanthia, pre-Summit, felt most at home in her friend Aleni’s sitting room, having tea and obliquely talking around Very Dangerous Political Opinions in between sharing, just, ALL the gossip. Why: She likes being challenged, and Aleni is like, 70% of the reason Calanthia’s manipulation stat is Like That. Also, Aleni was basically her fairy godmother (I have an AU where she sponsored Calanthia for the Summit 7 years before the in-game one; she’d have been very young, but of course Revaire would have been in pretty dire straits after having just, y’know, murdered most of their own nobility). She’s also one of those lucky people for whom good friends always feel like home. (But also Jasper feels more like home than anyone else and if the ending ends up being bittersweet she’s going to be homesick for him for the rest of her LIFE.)

Valeriya, pre-Summit, felt most at home in the library at Namaire after her husband died; it was a safe, quiet place where she could shut out the world and then escape even more by diving into a book. After the Summit, she feels most at home in the library with Lyon, probably with her head on his shoulder while they companionably ignore each other from 0 inches away, and then they break for tea to discuss and/or debate what they’ve just read. She has literally never been so happy in her life and initially assumes she’s coming down with something and the constant light-headed euphoria is a symptom. She’s such a grumpy hedgehog introvert that Lyon is the first and only person she has ever met who she likes better than being alone.

Nisha felt most at home at her mother’s right hand, helping out with Plots. (Nothing too dangerous, because her mother kept her out of anything that might attract the attention of enemies above her weight class.) She also feels very satisfied and homey and connected with a community of like-minded people when she is punishing Blain for whatever he’s done that month, because she invariably recruited a small army to help her enact her revenge. I suspect none of this changes after she is married except that she occasionally stages dramatic retellings for Zarad’s benefit, fully aware that he already knows all the details – but he hasn’t heard her version, and her version is invariably MUCH funnier than whatever his spies relayed (and probably much less truthful, but it’s more entertaining and that is the important part).

Demetria feels most at home when she’s at Holt, which is part of the reason she’s absolutely determined (at first) not to catch feelings; no matter HOW in love she is, she would sooner give up getting married than give up her home, and Wellin’s one of the more patriarchal 7KPP countries so it’s reasonable for her to assume any husband she might get would expect to take control of her holdings. Holt is her life, and also everything she has left of her father, and she will only relinquish it when she is very, very dead. (No, really; she has one helping of manipulation and I maintain that literally all of it is from writing just, the most incredibly, profoundly, VICIOUSLY litigious and twisty and outright evil will she can manage, which will leave the whole thing tied up in limbo being overseen by people she trusts for at least three years even if she gets assassinated. She feels very smug about this, when the Summit immediately tries to murder her.)

🍄 What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?

Nisha LOVES dried dates (and anything else sweet, honestly, but dates especially, because they are both delicious and easy to hide in your pocket).

Cadence, my Sheltered Princess, does not START with food preferences (none she’s willing to disclose; her life at court gave her a deeply unhealthy relationship with food) or any cooking ability whatsoever, but learns to love baking. Going to Corval introduces her to the idea of using SPICES in baking, which just makes it EVEN BETTER.

Eris (SWtOR Bounty Hunter) LOVES spicy food and cooks things that probably break the Geneva convention when she’s stressed or upset or thinking very hard, because she was basically adopted by a Mandalorian when she was a feral teenager and now it’s Comfort Food.

Ameneth Lavellan likes ice cream. I maintain that the Dalish have ice cream and sorbet, because they have mages always around using magic for practical things that benefit their community, and also I love the idea of a Dalish Inquisitor just going, ‘oh, a familiar summer treat!’ when offered the Rare Orlesian Delicacy. (Does she know that it is a rare delicacy to the shems? Yes, she read the briefing Josie gave her. Is she being blase about it to rub it in that her people are more complicated than anyone gives them credit for? Also yes.) (The Inquisition definitely has an ice cream social in the summer after she teaches all the other mages how to make it; there’s probably like twenty flavors on offer, only about five of which are horrifying.)

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

Valeriya mostly doesn’t like people? But pretty much everything about Lyon delights her. The way he sees straight through literally everyone, and tries so hard to be a good person, and (especially, always) the fact that he still thinks so WELL of her.

Calanthia is usually adept at finding things to delight her, even if it’s just the way the shadows are falling, or the salt-spray scent on the breeze, or a crisp autumn morning, or the fragrant steam wafting off her tea.

🥀 How would your OC decorate a notebook or journal? What kind of things are written in there? Could you give an example of a nice entry?

Calanthia doodles silly pictures and most of her entries sound superficial and bubble-headed and then occasionally she hides a sentence or two amidst the chatter that are in cipher and contain more serious thoughts. She starts a fresh journal for the Summit and opens by lamenting having been called a nasty spider by a member of her own delegation. For the rest of the Summit, she draws her self-insert illustration as a tiny orb-weaver in a little shawl, partly because she’s making light of it and partly because she does intend to be industrious and useful while she’s there - very like a garden spider. The little comics add to the superficial impression that she is not a serious person, especially since they’re the most eye-catching part of the whole thing. She is a little more liberal with her insights as the Summit goes on and she comes to trust that her staff isn’t spying on her and that no one else is peeking at her journal; nothing dangerous to other people makes it in there in anything more than very oblique references or little mnemonics, but she’s more honest about her goals and less performatively bird-brained. (I’m pretty sure her mother read her journal when she was growing up, hence the distracting elements and the writing of anything remotely serious in code.)

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why? 

Calanthia got her public speaking skill by telling stories to her sisters. I just think that’s adorable, and it makes me smile.

Valeriya is somtimes a little grumpy about how much EASIER her life would be if she lost about eight more moral fibers and went full-tilt evil right up until she meets Lyon, whereupon she is SO GRATEFUL that she stayed just shy of a moral event horizon that would have meant he couldn’t ever have let himself like her. I love internal conflict. <3

Cadence is named after a My Little Pony character. I still find this HILARIOUS.

Nisha came to the Summit essentially as a chaos agent; she is there to have fun and hear gossip and cause solve problems on purpose, and then intended to go home to her mother. This makes the fact that she’s a super-delegate who achieves All The Things MUCH funnier.

[namjoons-wife98]

So like Idk how many are out there like me but I've noticed a lot are very... Superficial in their love for NJ. I really just want to know the real NJ, not his persona or the image he has to keep up. I want to know his angry side, his sad side, his happy side. I want to know his past and be apart of his present. I want to show him he can be loved, flaws and all. I want him to know he's perfectly imperfect. I don't want a second to go by that he doesn't know he's loved and is amazing just the way he is because he is so so wonderful and sweet and caring. I just want him.to know he's more than an idol to me, he's my everything. God damn I want to marry this man one day. I would be willing to move to Korea to be with him. I'd be willing to go on tours with him. Be his cheerleader and emotional support through it all.

[m-m-mad-madness]

Possibly tmi/graphic re mental health under the cut.

The thing is, I can’t experience anything without turning it around into being angry at myself. I’m so angry at myself all the time, about everything (which sounds sort of melodramatic, but it does take up a significant proportion of my waking hours tbh). At the moment I’m furious at myself for being so selfish. I have multiple friends going through a hard time at the moment, and so I feel like sharing anything I’m going through is the Worst Possible Thing, and obviously it’s bullshit anyway because they have actual things to be stressed about and I’m just a whingeing needy fuck. But it’s stressing me out that some of my ‘valves’ seem to be blocked at the moment because I don’t feel able to talk to them. And I’m angry with them for also having problems (which is really being angry at myself) because like, last... Wednesday, I was planning my suicide for the end of the week, and then one of my friends found out his mum had cancer, and another had a mental health blip, and I’m like... shit, I can’t take attention away from them with my selfish attention seeking habits.

And my housemate is really winding me up at the moment and I’m finding it really difficult to be around him, for Bad Reasons - basically it’s his mum who has just been diagnosed with cancer and he is talking about it to everyone, which of course I don’t begrudge in the sense of ‘get support where you can’, but I think I’ve said before that I find his openness really difficult to cope with and it makes me really envious and bitter, because I feel like a terrible person and beat myself up if I’m that open and I resent that he can be open and not hate himself for it. And I also resent that he has... at least a dozen people, I think, that he’s comfortable talking about his mental health and personal life with, and that he’s able to trust them. And he has friends he’s so close with - a few of them came round at the weekend and they were all hugging on the sofa and chatting, and I felt so violently isolated and worthless.

That’s not even the extent of it but it’s too complicated to unpack and there’s not any point.

And I’m just angry, and ashamed, and envious of those who do manage to kill themselves even though I know it devastates those left behind, but I just wish so fervently that it didn’t, and I could slip away without anybody noticing or caring.

And I’m angry at myself for even saying this here, because I don’t want to worry other people, or make them uncomfortable, but I really, really don’t know what to do with myself, how to not be this way.

[consultism]

From your posts, I'm guessing you've just finished reading "Twist and Shout". I just wanted to say that I know your pain, and it'll be okay. *huggiest hugs in the history of hugs*

Thank you bby. <3 I actually read the whole fic months ago, and decided to re-read it. I just finished the fifth chapter, but I think this is a mistake. Seeing them so happy and knowing what’s to come…Yeah…I’m gonna stop here. It’s still kinda happy.

Kinda.

Much love to you darling. xx