Is resting my hand on your chest
checking for the beating of your wounded heart
I remember my hand trailing to your neck
i stay scared for your ever idealistic mind
a chance to escape from everything
when I trailed for your pulse I felt it
pump pump pumping to no end
your arms are limp and you’re so out of it
the sinking feeling in my chest
when I shook my head no to those two strangers
standing so patiently in your bedroom
When your heart was as fast as raging rapids
and I thought I’d never see those golden eyes flutter open again
I was sick to my stomach, but my brain was preoccupied
You are shallow breathing as I whisper to you those three words we haven’t exactly said out loud
i hope you know, i hope you know, that you’re not taking your final blow
you break out into a smile and raise up, you’re on cloud nine
two days later you turned around and didn’t kiss me goodbye
you could clearly see the pain in my eyes