#stpauligirl

[majoris]

Random ask apropos of nothing: What’s one place you’ve visited that you never want to return to?

hi! First of all thank you for the random ask 🖤 second of all, tumblr gave me no notification about this ask (cause why would I want to know I guess) so I'm sorry for answering just now - cause I'm guessing it's been sitting in my inbox for some time, so forgive ✨ to the question

I don't think there is a place like that, apart from you know, a hospital or something similarly non-fun (cause you're not well or someone you love is not well) but then I don't think that's what this question is about. SO... the thing is, I've been reminiscing recently about the town I've studied in, full on nostalgia, bad and good times but in the end a place I miss, place I've always felt like I need to go back to someday. And then, quite recently, I've talked to a few uni friends who, I guess, where in the same boat as me but actually went back, and they've all been... disappointment in some way. The town is changed, they've all said to me, it not like it was, it feels different in a bad way. And that made me think, do I want to go back? Cause, sure, it's not like I thought that the place wouldn't change you know, it would be naive to think that, but... I don't know, I guess maybe I thought that it would feel nice to visit the same spaces, even if changed; walk the same roads as years ago etc. Now I'm wondering if I want to, when so many people felt like this, and people who I know thought about this experience similarly. Do I want my memories of that place altered with that new visit? Would my feelings about that place change if I go back? It's like that thing people say, you can go back to the past, but there's no one there anymore. That place is not the same; the faces I've seen on the sidewalks, long gone. My friends, some now strangers, living far away. Maybe the memory of a place is better left a memory, if it can be helped? I am undecided still, and wondering. Maybe I should leave it alone, encased in time, in my head, in my heart; just as it was, when I was younger, when I was different too.

[stars-inthe-sky]

10. tell me about an insecurity you overcame.

It's been a while since I started freelancing for fun and profit, but the beginning of that journey is still a pretty big deal to me.

I'd previously worked at an agency for nearly three years, so I knew how to do client-based work, but I knew nothing about business development (or billing, or taxes, or client management, or admin).

And, for those I didn't know back in 2017, I started down that whole road in the first place after getting very unexpectedly and unceremoniously fired after like four months on the job. It was never clear exactly why, but I'd thought things had been going well, and that was a pretty gutting Thursday afternoon.

I'd also just gone through a job search, so I knew there weren't many positions available in the region that would be a fit—and that the most recent thing that had seemed to be a great fit had, uh, not been. (This was before remote/hybrid work was a real norm, even though my agency job had functionally been hybrid and taught me to work effectively as such.)

But when I'd gone through that previous job search, a couple of people I spoke with had mentioned maybe needing some freelance capacity down the road, and perhaps I should get in touch once I got settled in the job if I was interested. So I reached out to them, without mentioning the rest, thinking I could at least bridge the gap while I figured out what the fuck to do. Both had solid projects for me where I learned a bunch quickly, made some money, and was excited for more.

And then it just kind of made sense to keep seeing about those kinds of opportunities—both because I liked the client-based work and flexibility, but also because it quickly became apparent that it'd be harder for any one person or institution to fuck me over in the same way.

Plus, one of the people who needed a subcontractor turned out to be a great mentor and reference; I don't think I ever told him quite why I'd decided to go all-in on freelancing full-time, but I have thanked him repeatedly for some truly foundational early guidance as well as a couple of projects he helped set me up with. He's semi-retired now but I'm still using some of those templates!

Anyway, I networked my way into a couple of additional early projects and finished 2017 with about the same overall income for the year that I had had in my agency job for 2016. (Not the fuck-them one, the one I got laid off from because, well, that was a bad end-of-year for anyone working in Democratic politics, much like this one.)

And the rest is history: I've been self-employed for about 7.5 years now and, while the constant hustle and inconstant income/workload have their own challenges, I think I've landed in a pretty secure (emotionally/professionally) place about the whole enterprise.

[vivilove-jonsa]

I have read lots of mutual pining Jonsa fics. Or ones where Jon has pined forever and Sansa never gave him a thought. But do you know of any where Sansa has been the one pining and Jon was unaware?

Hey! Sorry for the delay answering this while I was away but this is a good question. Brother's Best Friend is a popular romance trope for a reason and the pining can definitely go any of these three ways, right?

One story that's sticking out in my memory banks is Reach Out with Both Hands by @thewolvescalledmehome which has Younger Sansa crushing on Jon who goes off to be a football star and then comes back home after a career-ending injury. Her crush comes roaring back when he moves into her basement but it takes him a wee bit longer to be emotionally ready for love and the woman right by his side. Love this one!

I'm sure there's some other good fics out there that fit the bill so I'll pop this in the tag and see if anyone wants to reblog with additions.

Thanks for the ask!

[seethemflying]

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

Thanks for the ask @stpauligirl!

I am a historian by training, so there are lots of of non-fiction books I love. On the really academic end of things, I loved Bruce Holsinger's "Music, Body and Desire in Medieval Culture: Hildegard of Bingen to Chaucer" which looked at how medieval writers and composers used music to perform the body, and on the more "popular" side of things, I'd go for Franny Moyle's "The King's Painter: The Life and Times of Hans Holbein" because it is beautifully illustrated and offers some interesting ideas on a few of the painter's works.

book asks

[dancinbutterfly]

24. Do you have any family or local Shabbat traditions?

24. Do you have any family or local Shabbat traditions?

I don’t work. That’s the only concrete one. It doesn’t matter what Job I’m working? I don’t fucking don’t do it.

[wildlingoftarth]

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m proud of being able to cook. My mom was not a big cook and I never learned growing up, so in college I taught myself by watching Food Network shows, lol. Now I’m teaching my girls so they grow up knowing how to cook and provide for themselves.

I’m proud of my empathy and ability to see things from all different points of view.

I’m proud of my artistic ability, especially drawing, although I don’t do it nearly as much as I would like.

I’m proud of my ability to make people feel included.

Weird asks

[sullenaquarian]

23. Nicest edition or cheapest edition?

I lean toward the cheapest edition, because cheaper means I can buy more books. However, I have received lovely editions of Pride and Prejudice and Alice in Wonderland as presents, which I greatly appreciate.

One thing I try to avoid buying, even if it costs less, is a book whose cover is from the movie adaptation. And I might splurge a bit more if a book comes with an interesting foreword or other materials. But as long as it’s an unabridged version, and I can wait for the book to be released in paperback/go down in price on Kindle, I prefer to save money. 

[mariavlc82]

36. A toxic trait you’re fully aware of but can’t stop?

43. The first word that comes to mind when asked to describe yourself?

41. Pessimistic? But I don't usually voice those thoughts so maybe it's not that toxic???

43. Introverted for sure.