Saw This Coming
Pairing: Captain Rex x Jedi AFAB!Reader
Words: 3790
Warnings: It's angsty but there's fluff in the end. Mention of blood and violence. Reader is a little bit of a Gray Jedi so if that makes you uncomfortable, don't read ahead. Some angsty confessions. One kiss. Happ ending :)
Prompt: “Each time I look at you // I'm limp as a glove // And feeling like someone in love.” (Like Someone In Love, Ella Fitzgerald)
A/N: This is for @sinfulsalutations who is partaking of this Song Fic Exchange. I hope you like this friend. As always, I would like to thank @cloneficgiftexchange for being the only person who is keeping me writing until now. I have no ability to write whatsoever except when you hold these exchanges and even though the stories may not be my best, I am happy that I can still find the energy and interest to write.
He couldn’t see anything, let alone feel what was unfolding around him. There was only chaos, the kind of madness that was reminiscent of his years at the GAR. For a moment, he thinks that the war is over, but as his senses slowly return to him, he pieces together where he was and what he was meant to be doing. His eyes blink tiredly, and as he tries to get out of bed, a hand shoots quickly and pushes him back. He flinches hard, only to realize that it’s not his body that’s shaking but the earth beneath him.
“Stay down Rex,” your voice pulls him away from the battle raging around him, and he turns his head to the side, eyes blown wide open and brows furrowing in anger at the sight that meets him. It takes him far too long to accept that you are crouching beside him, and his expression must be intense because you avoid his gaze and look out the cave you’ve managed to pull him into for shelter.
“How…how are you here?” His voice breaks, in turn making you wince at the hurt laced in his question. Even though you still have your hand resting against his sternum, Rex ignores the faint warmth seeping through his clothes and sits up, barely managing to hold back from screaming in agony at the pain that shoots through his shoulder. You take notice of the deep grimace on his features and turn your full attention to him.
“Could you, for once, listen to me?” You make the mistake of meeting his eyes then, the rest of your lecture dying in your throat when you see tears threatening to roll down his dirt-stained cheeks. He says nothing else, and you hate how miserable he looks, mostly because you know it has nothing to do with the physical pain draining his energy and everything to do with how things turned out between the two of you.
“We need to lay low until Hunter gets here.” A sudden silence fills the space in between the two of you, and you can tell that he is shocked by your casual mention of his brother’s name, maybe even ask how Hunter knows where you are but he chooses against it. Again, you glance at the opening of the cave, watching the stormtroopers run around while two AT-ATs fire into the distance and continue to destroy everything that comes in their line of sight. There’s so much you want to ask Rex, perhaps even yell at him about. But you know this is neither the time nor the place to lecture him about how he shouldn’t have come to an Empire-infested planet, let alone with only a handful of other rebels.
The explosions only increase as minutes go by, and you hate having to wait beside Rex instead of fighting, but you know you can’t leave him by himself, especially since he was hurt and barely able to move. You sneak a look at him every once in a while, wanting to make sure that he was still awake and breathing. When the sounds of destruction grow near, you leave him in the back of the cave and make your way to the front, wanting to check whether there was anyone nearby. There are less stormtroopers walking nearby, and you notice that one of the transports stopped firing altogether. Thinking they must have realized there weren’t more rebels that attacked their camp, you make your way back inside the cave to tell Rex that you’re safe for the time being.
Except as soon as you get there, your heart drops at the sight that meets you. You hand shoots to your lightsaber instantly, but the two stormtroopers point their guns instantly, one at you and the other at Rex.
“Don’t even think about it.”
You don’t move a muscle, afraid they’d get a shot right once and take his life then and there.
“How did you get in?” You ask calmly, knowing not to make any sudden movements for his sake. They don’t answer your question, but you’re counting on one of them saying more than he intends. You glance at Rex and find his chest rising and falling much slower than before, his eyes barely managing to keep your gaze.
“We knew you were coming and knew where you could hide.” Rex perks at the response, and you notice the smirk on his face, letting you know that they may have just revealed something they shouldn’t have.
“I’m going to give you one chance to walk away. It would be wise to listen to me.” There is false confidence and serenity in your voice, but you try to remain as calm as possible, unsure of whether or not your plan will work.
“Don’t be stupid. You’re outnumbered, and he’s injured. This is an easy kill.” One of them responds with a laugh and you instantly know whom you will kill first.
“I’m sorry.” You know that Rex hears the apology because he looks at you the same way he's gazed at you the last time you were in a similar situation. You’re not sure if it’s a look of disappointment or anger, but you know well you’ll never be able to forget it.
“You should-” Before the armed man can finish his sentence, you ignite your lightsaber and send it swirling through the air, managing to cut his hand off before forcing it to go through the other’s torso. Both bodies drop to the ground, except one of them is dead while the other attempts to scream in agony. You don’t give him a chance to let out a single sound, running to him and taking the helmet off instantly to avoid unwanted visitors. Your hand is on his mouth immediately, a warning of what could happen if he decides to make any noise.
You stand up, and retrieve your lightsaber near the dead body, walking back to the stormtrooper laying beside Rex. You crouch down and stare at him, never once breaking eye contact to let him know that you were serious about your suggestion.
“You should have taken the warning.”
“I- I thought Jedi don’t kill unarmed men.” His voice shakes with fear, and you hate the power that courses through your veins with each little, unsure breath he takes.
“Haven’t you heard? All the Jedi are dead.” Not wanting to make this last any longer, you light your saber one last time and watch as life drains from his eyes, the buzzing sound of your weapon ringing through the cave for a moment before you shut it off. You turn around and bite into your lower lip nervously when you see the way Rex is staring at you. He winces when he tries to sit up again and you crouch beside him, not bothering to explain yourself as you check his wound.
“Sit still, this will feel a little strange.” You rip the fabric down his chest, ignoring the harsh grasp he has on your forearm. It’s only when you place both of your palms atop his wound that his hold increases.
“You c-can’t.” His voice is hoarse, making you wish this was all a nightmare.
“Rex, they might be close but they’re not close enough. Let me heal you.”
“If you heal me, you…you won’t be able to protect yourself.” You cringe at the way he breathes the last word, and a part of you wants to shake him awake, tell him that you couldn’t care any less about yourself and only care for him. But you say nothing, shaking your head at the absurdity of his beliefs before shutting your eyes.
Before either of you can say anything, you fall over against Rex, breathing a sigh of relief when his arms wrap around you and keep you in his embrace.
“Mesh’la, please.” The petname nearly makes you sob but you tune him out, wanting to prioritize his safety over your own desires. You don’t respond to him, focusing on the slow beat of his heart in an attempt to match your own with it. It’s not faint, but it concerns you, scares you enough that you don’t follow your late master’s advice on what is necessary to be done when healing another. It happens quickly, much faster than it should, but you feel the Force twist and turn within your body until it moves into him. It’s not as it should be, but you continue regardless, knowing there was no other option, no other way to ensure his safety. Only when you feel his grip soften on your skin do you finally open your eyes and look down at his shoulder. It’s completely healed, but the skin is still inflamed, making you wish you were a little more patient.
“What have you done, sweetheart?” His voice is soothing now, not as angry or hurt as before, and you hate that it’s only because he feels guilty for making you expand your energy for him. You smile at him, marveling at how captivating his hazel gray eyes can be after all those years of knowing him. But the thought slowly dies out as you watch everything turn dark. If there is a confession that shocks you to your core, you don’t really register it, too busy surrendering to the warmth engulfing you.
It seems unfairly short, the heat that allowed you to rest for a moment suddenly getting ripped away from you. It goes as quickly as it comes, and you force your eyes to open in search for it, only to find yourself in an empty room, riddled with nothing but a handful of scraps.
You study the small sleeping area, and only when you turn behind you do you finally realize where you are, whose room you’re in. The helmet looks back at you, a reminder of where this journey began, how long you’ve been carrying this secret. A part of you wishes you could tell him, but you’re not sure where you can even begin, or if he would feel the same way. You’d always had an inclination, but you didn’t want to meet the consequences should your intuition be wrong.
The sound of the door sliding open catches your attention and you already know who it is before you can look at him. You expect him to ask where you’ve been, or even how you knew where he was. You’re even waiting for him to discuss why Hunter knew where you were all along and he didn’t. But he says none of that. In fact, he says nothing at all as he takes a seat on his cot, instantly taking your hand in between his own and rubbing your wrist.
The two of you breathe in unison, as if you’ve both been waiting for this moment for so long. You look down to where he’s touching you, and you wonder if you’ll ever feel anything remotely as intimate as this instance.
The softness with which he touches you, along with his sweet, concerned voice, makes you want to tug him beneath the covers and forget the galaxy around you. But you reel back your emotions, and clear your throat in an attempt to keep yourself under control, afraid he could see right through you.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay. You?” Rex smiles at your concern, remembering all those times you were bloodied and beaten but still prioritized his safety.
“I’m good…thanks to you.” His thumb circles around the skin of your hand, the sensation feeling like a heated rod rubbing against your joints. A small part of you wishes to remove your palm from his hands, but you don’t want to upset him, or have him misunderstand why you can’t bear his touch all of a sudden. It’s only later that you’d come to realize why you really didn’t want to stop touching him, but for now, you convince yourself it’s to avoid hurting his feelings and not because you can’t find it in yourself to let go of him. It’s difficult to focus on anything else, but as he continues to massage strange figures across the back of your hand, you figure this may be the only time you’ll be able to apologize for what you’ve done all those months ago.
“I’m sorry.” The two words are enough to snap Rex out of whatever haze he’s fallen under. He slowly looks up at you, stopping the circular patterns but continuing to hold your hand in between his. His gaze doesn’t waver for a moment and you know he’s silently asking you to elaborate on the strange outburst.
“Rex, I’m so sorry. For everything.” His impassive expression shifts then, and you swallow the lump in your throat when you see his eyebrows twitch in irritation before resting once more.
“What happened on Corijn wasn’t your fault.” Rex finally breaks his silence, and you shake your head impatiently, annoyed that he knew what you’re referring to but was choosing to take the higher road for your sake.
“That’s not what I mean.” You attempt to take your hand away then, but Rex doesn’t let you move another inch, keeping a tight hold on you and tugging you closer to him. You’re not sure if he’s intentionally trying to drag this out or was simply refusing to blame you for what you’ve done.
“Tell me.” You hate how calm he sounds, how caring and patient he’s being with you when he should be angry with you for knowingly hurting him.
“I’m sorry for…leaving without an explanation. For ignoring your messages.” A sigh of relief leaves your lips, but is quickly interrupted when you understand that there is something much more important you should be apologizing for. You look away for a moment to collect your bearings, and when you think you can handle looking into his sad eyes again, you turn your attention back to him and finally let go of your pride.
“For showing you what I’m capable of.” If you think he’d say anything to confirm your hunch, he disappoints you and remains silent. But as the seconds roll by, you learn that his quietness was not out of judgment but out of meditation. The thought makes you uncomfortable because even though he owed you nothing, he was still trying to choose his words carefully so he doesn’t end up saying something that upsets you.
“I never meant for you to…see what you have seen. To know that I can take life so easily and without hesitation.” Whatever you thought Rex’s reaction would be, you never expected him to let go of you as if you’ve burned him, let alone frown at you in sheer anger. You sit up slowly when you see him take a few steps back and face the opposite wall, and you don’t dare say anything else until you figure out what exactly pissed him off so much.
“Is that what you think I care about?” His voice is calm, but you can practically feel his wrath radiating off of him like deadly waves, as if he was barely managing the facade he was putting up. You’re confused at the abrupt and dramatic response, and only when his response registers in your mind that you finally lose control and snap at him in return.
“Rex, don’t look at me and tell me you don’t care because I know you do. I cared…or used to at least.” He turns around then, and you hate the way he’s looking at you, as if you had stabbed him with a vibroblade and twisted it. He walks back to you and grabs your shoulders, pulling you towards him so you can focus on nothing but his words.
“I only ever cared about you. You- you threw yourself into harm’s way for me, as if your life wasn’t more precious.” Like before, you’re shocked by his response and look at him with a confused expression.
“It’s not.” You answer instantly, and Rex curses beneath his breath at how adamant you are, how wholeheartedly you believe your own thoughts and continue to ignore his own.
“Cyare, please. I- I’ve lost everyone I love. My brothers are broken, and so am I. Do you think I could survive your death too?” You shake your head at him, once again attempting to push him away from you. But Rex slips his hold around your wrists and tugs you even closer, until you’re both breathing the same air. His chest rises and falls rapidly, mirroring your own in fear and anger. For a moment, you see his eyes shift down to your lips and only when you let out a quiet sob does he return his attention to your gaze once more.
“You don’t understand how much I changed.” The confession is whispered with wariness, and you look away from him, too embarrassed to explain to him why you were so much different than the Jedi he once knew.
“So your lightsaber is orange. That means nothing to me.” The mention of your weapon steals the air out of your lungs, and you don’t notice you’re crying until you feel Rex’s calloused fingers wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks.
“The color means so much more than you realize.” You can barely stand at this point, and Rex must notice the toll this conversation is taking on you because he pushes you back to his cot and sits you down with ease, remaining in your space in an attempt to calm your mind. He parts his lips to relay a confession of his own, but when he sees you avoiding meeting his eyes again, he cups your jaw and pushes it up until he’s in your line of sight.
“I know what it means. I know why it changed, and I don’t care. You’re so much more to me.”
Rex would tell you later that it took you way too long to understand what he was trying to tell you at this moment. You look at him closely, trying to come to terms with the reality of what he just said. Time seems to stand still as you blink confusingly at him, and it’s only when his other hand cups your cheek as well that you truly comprehend the revelation he’s just thrust upon you.
“You don’t mean-” Your voice cracks, and it’s the first time in ages that you feel shy in front of Rex. Not embarrassed, or awkward. Just shy and hopeful.
“Each time I look at you,” he leans forward and shuts his eyes, nudging your nose with his own as he takes in a deep breath to commit this moment to memory, “I’m limp as a glove.” The ease with which he murmurs those words sets you mind at ease, and you allow yourself to disregard everything horrible that transpired before this second.
“I’m desperate for you cyare,” Rex shakes with anticipation as he feels your hands finally reach for him, grabbing onto his forearms to make sure that this was real, and he was telling you what you’ve yearned to hear from him ever since you first laid eyes on him all those years ago.
“And feeling like someone in love.” A shudder courses through your body, sending you into Rex’s embrace and forcing you to break down in his arms. You wrap yourself around him, afraid this is all a dream and that you’d wake up all alone on your ship. Rex lets out a chuckle, one that lets you know he understands the striking reaction to his confession.
“I can’t go through life without you, not anymore.” He whispers into your ear, praying to the Force that you finally allow yourself to believe how much you matter to him, or at the very least, trust his judgment.
“Trust me baby, that’s all I’m asking of you. Trust me to know what I want…what I need to keep doing this.” The reassuring sentiments wash over you like the early morning dew, managing to send you into a state of serenity you have not known in a long time. You want to say so much to him, describe what he makes you feel, or even how often you think of him. But your throat is dry from the intensity of the conversation, so you figure you can put him at ease for the time being, until you are brave enough to tell how much you love him.
“Okay.”
Neither of you say anything else for what feels like hours, relishing the comfortable silence that replaced years of heartache and unspoken feelings. It’s only when you wipe your nose thatRex figures he can joke a little with you.
“And for kriff’s sake, don’t drop off the face of the galaxy again.”You giggle at the sudden outburst but pull back to look into his eyes as you make him a new promise.
“I won’t.”
The two of you smile at each other, but you notice the hazel in his eyes quickly become overshadowed with much darker pupils. The easy expressions turn heated, and before you know it, you’re pushing forward and molding your lips with his. It’s a chaste kiss, one that took wars to finally come into existence, and you decide then and there that you’d like to begin and end each day with the touch of his lips. Rex parts his bruised lips to deepen the kiss, smiling to himself when you let out a little gasp and give him a chance to grow even closer to you.
Your hands twist in his clothes, muscles relaxing as you feel his hands comb into your hair and tug a little. He pulls your head away to give you a chance to breathe, and when your eyes flutter open, he lets out a sigh of relief at seeing them just as dazed as he his heart feels.
“Kriff…I’ve wanted to do that for years.” Rex mutters against your lips, giving you a quick peck on the lips before pulling you back into his arms. You’re about to tell him that you probably wanted to kiss him long before him when you sense a pair of eyes staring at you.
“Well, the whole of the Rebellion saw this coming.” Gregor laughs when the two of you jump at his laugh, and you can’t help but giggle at Rex when you turn to him and watch as his cheeks turn different shades of red.
“Took you long enough.” Hunter shakes his head before saluting the two of you and walking away, wondering how long it’s been since he’s seen either of you smiling so peacefully.
