#straight shit

[iamjjmmma]

So me and my girlfriend were being big gay ™. Somebody yelled, "That's some GAY SHIT!" and I was like

[big-bad-skull-boss]

Do you write fem!S/O x Guzma imagines? If so, I would like a wedding night Guzma imagine and make it loving! Please and thank you :) <3

im so sorry this went from what you wanted to guzma making his wife dick about for no reason

for some reason he made you keep the wedding dress on even though it was nearly midnight and you hadn’t seen your legs in about 13 hours

He, on the other hand, was a complete mess, as per usual. His Tux unbuttoned and rolled halfway down his arms and he was tugging at the collar on his shirt as if trying to pull it off.

you got up & the discarded veil that you’d taken off and placed in your lap fell onto the ground since it had blended into the poofy dress so well you’d forgotten that it was there. You walked over to him, squatted down (much like he does in battle, you’d started to adopt some of his habits) and moved his hands away from his collar.

“You might be legally married, Guzma, but you’re still legally a dumbass~” you chuckle, staring at his puzzled face, before unbuttoning the top 2 buttons of his white dress shirt. “Better?”

“uh... yeah, thanks babe” he muttered, slightly embarrassed.

a few seconds pass before his gaze met yours again. You were still squatting down to where he was sat in the little hotel chair. well, it seemed more like a kids’ chair because of his height...

“Can i take this stupid dress off now? Do you have a thing for huge ass puffy skirts or something, Guzma?” you teased.

“I really wan’ed t’ look at it a li’l more...” he whined. His normally deadpan demeanour softened into a puppy-dog face. Even after so long you found it astonishing that such a man could pull that kind of face.

You cut your losses and told him “Alright fine. 5 more minutes. What do wanna see? I’ll do anything... within reason...” you smiled sweetly

“uh...” he hesitated. “I always wan’ed to see ya run in that dumbass dress ever since i saw it this mornin’“

“you what?”

“you said anything” he pouted.

“oh my god why are you like this?” you burst out laughing, walking away and clearing the room a bit while still losing your mind at his stupid request. “Are you gonna help? Time’s ticking!”

“nope. seeing you do all this in that stupid dress is time well spent t’me” he smirked back at you.

after you’d cleared the room, you looked at him. “do you seriously want me to run? There’s no space in here”

“Do it”

You preceded to run back and forth across the length of the room to Guzma’s absolute full enjoyment. He spent the entire time losing his shit and he was laughing so loud you were worried about getting a noise complaint.

After he cooled down, you said “okay i’m never wearing this stupid dress ever again you got way too much enjoyment out of that”

[the-trenchcoat]

Sometimes I forget that I'm gay and then someone will say some dumb weird straight shit and my brain will just brutally wake up and scream at me that I'm gay

[luna-komfloukruu]

I keep imagine Katie Mcgrath trying to avoid Lena kissing James because she wants Lena being gay and the writers forcing that straight shit.

[maskboo]

@soberkitty420 bro im hust fuckin gay get Straight pride somewhere else

[babytrash2003]

I’m about to be murdered for this, but oh well.

Okay so can everyone just stop hating on each other, like, yes, I'm very aware that there are homophobes and they are stupid and their not really afraid of anything, they’re just assholes, but there are straight people who have no problem with people liking the same sex and they generally don't give a fuck, but like a lot of lgbt+ community are like being complete assholes to straight people just because they don't prefer the same sex, and its super fucking annoying. And another thing, if a straight person has a gay ship/OTP THAT IS O-FUCKING-KAY! THEY ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG BY THINKING TWO PEOPLE ARE CUTE TOGETHER! OR BY THINKING THOSE PEOPLE HAVE SOME SORT OF MORE THEN PLATONIC LOVE! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!! Saying it’s gross for a straight person to have gay ships is like saying that gay people cant ship straight people, like what if a gay person has a friend and that friend is straight and they think that friend would look good with someone of the opposite sex, is that wrong? NO!!! So why is it wrong for straight people to do that? Is it wrong for a lesbian female to have a gay/maleXmale ship? No. Is it bad that a gay guy thinks a lesbian/femaleXfemale is cute? Is it gross for a straight person to think that their friend whom is gay and their friends bf/gf are a cute couple? No. Then why is it wrong for them to have gay ships? Your logic is fucking stupid people, nothing is wrong with shipping whomever you want, and there is nothing wrong with having any sexuality you have, shut up and leave people alone. Like omfg its super annoying.

Now if you’ll excuse me *hides under bed*

~VeryFedUpBisexualGirl

[big-bad-skull-boss]

What about Guzma being in love with a girl who seems to be shy (maybe a little similar to Lillie) but who can actually become aggressive if they provoke her? Maybe she'll even be able to hit someone in the face Idk

hmm

He likes to push her buttons a lot cause he thinks its funny when she’s mad and red in the face

He’s constantly on edge for a while until he learns what triggers her anger

she’s probably slapped him a fair few times

Guzma stares at her with a shit eating grin and says nothing and she gets really annoyed by it because he just doesnt fucking stop until she gets up and does something

[l0v3zrambles]

found this in my drafts from like, a year ago :/

I kinda hate it, like a lot 😭