#straightsplaining

[thingsisaidweredumb]

@teaparty20 replied to your post “like did barelysport really just use the man-hating lesbian thing???...”

I have a super honest question: (really truly want your opinion) is it straightsplaining if someone asked a straight person what their opinion was and they answered? They might be right, or totally off base, but I thought I understood the term and now I'm not sure I do

Not necessarily. I think it’s considered straightsplaining if it uses a straight perspective to explain without noting that it’s a straight perspective or seeing the possibility of a non-straight perspective that makes more sense.

For instance, barelysport was asked and he answered that every famous person has part of their fan base who wants them to be gay. And THEN he explained why they feel that way using a very stereotyped and offensive straight mode of thought. That’s straightsplaining. It explains gay things through a straight lens.

So straightsplaining is essentially straight people explaining gay things straightly. If that makes sense?

[youwerelikeanangel]

introducing 'straightsplaining'

- when a straight person explains to you who and what is homophobic and what not

(this happened today and I'm still mad:) a straight girl??? literally said to me (after I said that a teacher was being homophobic) that no, in fact, he's not a homophobe, he never says things like that. I'm ??? (she knows I'm queer)

how can she, a straight person, judge if someone's being homophobic?

[batboyblog]

Nothing like a group of straight people trying to debate what it means to be gay with you, like even if I'm wrong where do you get off? I don't try to tell black people the meaning of blackness

[rkurtosenlund]

[solstodur]

Of straightsplaining

Dear straight friends and other people: When you react with news or expressions of homophobie with shock and innocence, that you can't believe people like this live in this world, that you don't see anything wrong with two people of the same sex loving each other (gee, thanks, and who said orientation is all about love? Am I not allowed to just want to fuck? Or find someone attractive without wanting our hearts to blend? I guess I'm only allowed to be queer if I subscribe to super conservative heteronormative monogamy) you are not acting as my ally. You show that you care more about distancing yourself from the heteropatriarchal systems thatt you participate in, care more about absolving yourself of responsibility, than of actually supporting me. You don't make me feel like you're standing with me. Like I can count on your help in my struggle. Rather, you're putting the extra burden on me to either take care of your feelings, of having to educate you, or having a friend with whom there is always a disconnect. The burden of having to decide if keeping you in my life is worth the pain you cause when you show that you don't understand me or my experience, and that you're not even trying. Except to get extra points for being such a "compassionate" and "tolerant" person. You are not helping me. You are harming me.

[solstodur]

straightsplainers suck: a rant.

Do you know who piss me off? Straightsplainers. People with unexamined privilege in general. (I am in that group but in this situation I am a queer woman being 'splained to by a cis hetero dude.) FUCK. YOU. You were invited into this space to share skills with us. Thank you for that. I learnt from you. Now it's time for you to learn from me. I don't need your knowledge. I don't need your education. I don't need your condescending little "suggestions". Not when they're about my. life. And my status as a marginalized person. It's NOT your fucking place to be telling us how we should "really rethink this distinction between us and them". And when you're asked to please stop talking, it's NOT your place to keep defending yourself and making bullshit fauxpologies. LEARN BEFORE YOU SPEAK. If you don't know how to act around marginalized people then either DON'T COME or STAY QUIET AND LEARN UNTIL YOU DO. And at least, if you're called out, just fucking listen. Just apologize and then stay. quiet. This is NOT about you or your feelings. I am also angry at the queers that backed you up. I have more compassion for them because they've been led to believe that to be accepted they need to not be so angry. To be nice. I came to learn and to feel safe among fellow queer people and allies who know how to be allies. I didn't come to be straightsplained to, and then to have my concerns dismissed and ridiculed. I am grateful for those who backed me up. Queer solidarity forever.

[geekybitch-blog]

So much straightsplaining and ableism on the Twilight Sucks forum right now...

UGH. And I thought it was supposed to be a tolerant community.

[gertalia-blog]

If I hear one more person straightsplaining or ablesplaining at me or in my vicinity today, so help me, I am going to drop a death star on the human race.