Tell us about your little working theory concerning there being two Livs? I am DYING to know :)
WELL. If you will give me a platform like that, this is a fic idea I've been thinking about (possibly for the "alternate realities" prompt for July or just as a general fix-it/making sense of canon).
Basically going off the whole multiverse and alternate realities thing that was revealed in Stranded 4, I don't think it's far fetched to go with there being two Livs and what was just a random thought has since turned into a full blown concept!
With reality fracturing at the time of the TARDIS's crash in 2020, there were plenty of alternate realities. Stands to reason there was also a version where the Doctor, Liv and Helen didn't get out of the TARDIS in time. Now, I'm thinking of a sort of Alice in Wonderland/Zagreus scenario where they're now trapped in a closed off dimension of the TARDIS. Of course there are consequences to them being in there, temporal energy everywhere, it's not healthy, it changes them, it latches on to the temporal energy they carry in themselves!
Liv is the lucky one. She only has a little left over regenerative ability from Ravenous 4.4, she can fight the change and remains herself. Helen and Eight are not so lucky. Eight ages. Enter Curator!Eight. Since we have seen different Curators now, it stands to reason all Doctors have a Curator version of themselves and here is Eight's. Now, the temporal energy Helen carries in herself is far more tricky! The Sonomancer's powers in her reawaken and with temporal energy running haywire inside the TARDIS, they take her over. She becomes the Sonomancer, flame-haired, gorgeous and terrifying. With the help of Eight!Curator and the TARDIS doing her bit, Liv keeps relatively safe, the Sonomanceer's powers - while terrifying - are confined to the TARDIS, as they all are.
That is the set up/backstory, it gets interesting when our heroes return to the TARDIS: Now that the TARDIS is whole enough, when one of them enters, their counterpart is released and they can interact. Obviously, Eight gets there first as he moves back into the TARDIS before the girls join him. So Eight and Curator!Eight were able to work together and make the TARDIS fully flightworthy again. The Curator leaves, goes to look after the Undergallery, before Liv and Helen return to the TARDIS as seen in Stranded. They take off - this is where the story starts - and the other Liv is released from the dimension. Helen finds her curled up in her own bedroom as she happily runs off to dump her stuff. PreStranded!Liv - having been alone with Sonomancer!Helen after Curator!Eight left - has had a rough time of it and flinches back when she sees Helen...
And so the story starts off. I won't say much more in term of plot other than we have a Liv that hasn't lived through Stranded and has missed Helen SO MUCH, thinking her lost. We have a Helen that has strong feelings for Liv but has shied away from expressing them because of Tania. We have a Liv that is torn between two worlds. We have a villian in the TARDIS and Eight trying to not break the universe again by having two version of his best friend in the same space...
5k words in which not much is happening, be warned 😂
Liv Chenka/Helen Sinclair, Eighth Doctor
Rating: G
Read on AO3 or below
Summary: With the aborted timeline destroyed, the universe is slowly getting back on track. Memories dissipating into nothingness, leaving just the vague confusion behind. Baker Street regulars get to leave their ordinary lives uninterrupted by the Doctor, and the TARDIS team go their separate way. Or they will do, after the TARDIS repairs herself, lifts the lockdown mode and can travel again. In the meantime it’s high time they had their well-deserved long overdue holiday break. Quiet, at home and together.
When the Timelines unwind
Helen woke up suddenly, feeling numb and disorientated – her vision was swimming and her head hurt like hell – she must have banged it on something. The last thing she remembered was the TARDIS jerking violently, spinning and whirling through the vortex. They must have landed because it was eerily still. Right. At least they were safe for now. Despite the dimmed lights, the TARDIS didn’t feel completely dead, quite the opposite really. Helen opened her eyes again and immediately shielded them from bright red flashes coming from the console, their light so intense it hurt. The silence was deafening. Helen shivered and tried to move. From where she was sitting on the floor of the main console room, she could just about make out a small figure lying unmoving under the console. Liv! Her heart picked up a speed, and she tried to get to her, to see if she was hurt, if she maybe needed help. Helen was no med-tech herself but she did pick up a thing or two during their travels.
“Liv?” Helen all but forced her heavy limbs to move, with one sheer determination to get closer to her best friend. It felt like moving through the water but she managed it. She didn’t even try to get up, fearing she might fall right back. Helen clumsily landed beside Liv and checked for a pulse. Thank goodness, it was there. That was a major relief. She shook her slightly, trying to wake her friend up and called again, “Liv? Can you hear me?”
The groan escaped Liv’s lips, and Helen released the breath she never realised she was holding.
“Ugh… What... Happened?” Liv muttered, cracking her eyes open. “My head hurts like hell.”
“What? Ah… mine as well. Can you… can you move?” Helen pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to get rid of the ringing in her ears. She just barely could make out Liv’s voice and she didn’t like it. She wasn’t particularly good at reading lips but she tried nonetheless.
“Not exactly,” Liv winced. “Did we crash? Again? Have we landed? And for the love of god, what is that infernal beeping noise?”
“What bee– Ah!” Only now she caught up on the tiniest shrieking sound coming from the same source as that maddening red light. “I think it’s coming from the console. Doctor? Can you turn it off?”
Helen sensed more than saw his figure storm past her and it only added to the nauseating feeling in her stomach. The Doctor ran straight towards the console, flipping levers and pushing buttons in the most chaotic manner of his. Helen wasn’t convinced he knew exactly what he wanted to achieve. Exchanging a wary look with Liv confirmed that the med-tech wasn't reassured either.
“He’ll just make it worse, won’t he?” Helen asked in a small tired voice.
“Oh most definitely,” Liv sighed exasperatedly and hurried to cover her ears when a second alarm started blaring out. “Doctor! What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Just stop it please, will you?” Helen pleaded, stroking the column right next to her, and as suddenly as it all broke loose, it stopped. The silence fell over the console room – no thanks to the Doctor, Helen suspected.
“What was that? Where are we, Doctor?” Liv demanded again. Her head was definitely splitting in two now, even if it hadn’t before.
“I… am not sure,” he continued to tap on the keyboard with manic desperation. “I don’t understand!”
“What do you mean you're not sure?” Liv lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed. “I know you can't fly the TARDIS properly but at least you have always managed to read whatever intel she's giving you.”
“That's just the thing, Liv,” he said, seemingly choosing to ignore her sarcasm. “There is no intel. No readouts, no surface checks, no data at all. It's like we're… nowhere. No, it's like she specifically refuses to tell us anything at all.”
“Is that even possible?” Helen joined in, looking at him incredulously.
“Well, that hasn't happened so far,” Doctor hummed.
“There's always a first time for everything,” stated Liv and rolled her eyes.
“Thanks Liv, very helpful,” he chuckled. “Ugh, it doesn't help that she won't open the doors either.”
“Maybe it is for the better,” Helen muttered under her nose. She leaned on the column, her head spinning violently. “Wouldn't want us to fall straight into the vortex or something. That was not an experience I'm ready to repeat, if you ask me.”
“Neither am I,” Liv scooted closer as well.
“Good that we all agree on it. Well, I'm certain I can figure something out. Persuade her to let us see what's actually wrong. At least we are staying in one place and not drifting mindlessly into the unknown,” the Doctor sounded way too cheerful.
“Is it supposed to be comforting?” Liv snorted. “Because it really really isn't. Not that I'm not used to being stranded but I'd rather we didn't make a habit of that.”
“I'm with Liv here,” Helen nodded. The fog around her ears was finally lifting and she was glad to hear at least herself. “Doctor, tell me one thing. What happened? Did we crash?”
“No, we… We were just…” he stalled. “Come to think of it… I can’t quite remember.”
“Oh no, not again!” Liv cried out and clutched her head with her hands.
“We were…” Helen tried to reach for the last thing she remembered. “Trying to escape the Crucible of Souls, right? That was about to explode?”
“Uhm… Possibly. Yes! Looks very much like it,” Doctor nodded and only then seemed to notice Liv and Helen lying sprawled on the floor, clinging to one another. “I think wherever we are, we will be here for a while, so you’d better get some rest for now, won’t you?”
“Seriously? And leave you all alone dealing with whatever’s out there? No way,” Liv grumbled determinedly and tried to stand up but only fell back on her arse.
“Well, as you can see, I’m not going out there, alone or otherwise. Go. Sort yourselves out, I’ll see what I can find out here,” the Doctor added, shooing them away.
“The Doctor’s right. Come on, Liv. We should go do something about the monster headache, I think I’m going to be sick if I watch the Doctor running around like crazy any longer.”
Liv only nodded. Helen helped Liv get to her feet and steadied the med-tech with an arm around her shoulders. Her own head was spinning too and she felt her heart pounding in her ears – whether it was from the sudden movement or her friend leaning on her for support she couldn’t tell – but Liv looked much worse for wear, so she made it her mission to get her to the med-bay or to Liv’s room. Whichever was closest.
“Yeah, bye Doctor. Try not to explode anything while we’re inside!” Liv couldn’t help the snarky remark.
“Can’t promise anything,” the Doctor shot right back with a smile.
“Of course he says that,” Liv muttered somewhere in Helen's shoulder, sneaking an arm around the linguist's waist to keep upright when another wave of nausea crashed over her. Her touch sent shivers down Helen’s spine, not entirely unpleasant ones, and Helen couldn’t suppress a small smile, holding Liv just a tad closer.
“Come on,” Helen murmured, rubbing soothing circles on Liv’s upper arm. “Let’s grab some painkillers and get you to bed.”
***
Tania awoke with a start in her apartment at 107 Baker Street. She didn’t mean to fall asleep while watching TV but that’s what happens when you break your sleeping habits thanks to constant anxieties and nightmares.
It all felt so sudden and alien. Pandemic. Masks. Doctors working day and night fighting for lives. Her own job sending her a request to stay where she is and report them weekly as if nothing happened. They claim the global disaster might just be the thing to gain attention of her target and possibly – make them look for a shelter or even headquarters in their old property.
There was a nagging feeling she had forgotten something important but she couldn’t quite grasp it. Ah, right, she did put a mental note to check on Ron and Tony later this afternoon. Ron wasn’t feeling all too well. She should reach out to her contacts and get him to the proper hospital. It wouldn’t do to lose either of Baker Street regulars. As the longest resident she felt a kind of responsibility for all of them, especially in the absence of a landlord.
***
“Did you manage to pinpoint what went wrong?” Liv asked, between the spoonfuls of her breakfast. Not trusting herself with the stove, she opted for crunchy cereal.
“I’m not entirely sure. She didn’t give me many pointers to go on with,” the Doctor shrugged, spilling his tea and accidentally smearing it across the table with his sleeve. “The only thing I actually did find out was that she went into lockdown mode for the foreseeable future. I didn’t even know she could do that!”
“You don’t seem to know her at all,” Liv muttered sarcastically. “Anyway – lockdown, really? What is that for? Is it that bad outside?”
“Global pandemic. That was actually the only thing I was able to get from her.”
“That does sound serious,” her expression fell. “Anything we can help with?”
“Not this time, I'm afraid,” the Doctor shook his head. “We're sealed in. Most likely, we weren't even supposed to be there and now. Wherever that might be.”
“Right. Peachy,” she shot. “At least it’s fine that we are inside then, so we are not exposed to the unknown plague god knows when and where.”
“What plague?” Helen stepped into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.
Morning wasn’t her time at all, even if it was rather hard to grasp the concept of time in the time machine. Especially she disliked mornings when she couldn’t sleep – because apparently the TARDIS seemed to be working on the low energy output and was dumping every room and corridor she couldn’t sustain. Which happened to include Helen’s own room, as it was nowhere to be found. Helen would like nothing more than to curl up in her bed and sleep the killer headache off. She did have half a mind to go back to Liv’s last night but she had a nagging feeling that option wasn’t even on the table. Her head was still cloudy and she had no clue what had actually happened but she had a gut feeling there was so much more to their headaches than banging their heads upon crashing. There was something missing. Something must have happened after their escape from Ravenous and a number of psychopathic Time Lords claiming to be the Doctor’s childhood friends. Something that didn’t add up. Thinking about it further only made her vision go fuzzy.
Helen didn’t like what she saw. They went as quickly as they came, leaving only the slightest sensations behind. The house in London she'd never been to. The blaring sirens of the Second World War she remembered far too well. The tall woman, who wasn't her, holding Liv in her arms. The teenage boy, Helen was… teaching? tutoring? god knows, she wasn't good at either, she never actually tried. Nor had she ever worked with kids. The tall woman in flannel again, sheltering with Helen in a grey abandoned building on the edge of equally grey and way too quiet lake district. The funny looking guy in Hawaiian shirt marching through the dead planet. Voices and whispers, keys and broken TVs, paperworks and constant feeling of worry. Constant feeling of not belonging, of being a third wheel, of being left out, abandoned, forgotten. Of forgetting something that mattered so very much, of losing a bit of herself with it. It all continued to plague her mind way into the morning, and she woke up tired and very cold, bundled with anxiety and frustration that she never knew where came from.
Painkillers they shared with Liv did take longer than expected to work, and she wasn’t very happy about it either. So Helen did the only thing she could think of that allowed her to rest without alarming the others – she went looking for the library, hoping the TARDIS at least kept her favourite couch intact. It wasn't as good as her lovely purple one on the balcony above the console room, but she wasn't in the mood for listening to the Doctor audibly tearing the precious time machine apart.
Dozing off on the armchair in the Little Library with a heavy tome on Gallifreyan grammatics in her lap wasn’t a desirable outcome but it was still better than nothing. It would even be fine, hadn't it been for the… visions. Technically, they probably weren’t nightmares or dreams. They seemed to be more like the pictures and moments flashing behind her eyelids. Vivid but hazy they threatened to split her head apart. There were… quite a lot of those. People she almost recognised but didn’t think she’d met. Places she’d never been to. Adventures she couldn’t remember having. Helen thought it could be the TARDIS’ projections in her mind – it was their way of communication during her forty-odd years of travels after all – but somehow they still felt rather closer to memories. Or maybe premonitions, not that she could tell.
“What were you discussing?” Helen asked again when she was met with stunned silence. She brought her hands around her in a fruitless attempt to warm herself up. It wasn't cold around her as such, but she kept shivering.
Liv and the Doctor exchanged worried glances, while watching Helen, dishevelled and tense, walk in the kitchen. She didn't mind that, busying herself with making a decent cup of tea – at least to warm her hands – but the general feeling of uneasiness didn't escape her. That only added to her never ending headache.
“Morning, Helen. Are you alright?” Liv finally found her voice and her words were laced with concern that made Helen's heart twitch.
“Slept well?” asked the Doctor in an overly cheerful and way too loud voice. They all winced.
“Only that we have nothing to worry about. The TARDIS got us into the lockdown mode to protect us from every possible threat that is out there,” the Doctor rambled away. “It is a worldwide pandemic outside, personally I wouldn't recommend this time period to anyone. The bad thing is–”
“Uh,” Helen wavered for a moment, not entirely sure if she should bother them with her problems when they had much bigger ones. She was just unable to relax, it was psychosomatic, nothing more. Her mind played tricks with her. It happened all the time, ever since Caleera’s Gift manifesting inside her. Maybe the TARDIS just wasn't feeling particularly well, the energy leaking, and Helen was in the way. She knew she was rather sensitive to the telepathic forces.
In the end she decided to just shrug it off for now. “I'm okay, yes, thank you,” she only hoped she sounded convincing enough for them to drop it. “What was it you were saying about the plague again?”
“Oh so there actually is a bad thing. Nice of you to tell us,” Helen chuckled.
“Just a little one. As I've told you on the Crucible, wherever we appear next, we'd be stuck. Old Girl took a lot of damage, hurtling like that through time and space, getting us as far as possible from the epicentre of the explosion. So, she'll need time to recharge. Recalibrate. Repair herself, if you wish. With my help it will be easier, of course, and hopefully will take faster–”
“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Liv muttered and the Doctor feigned being insulted:
“Liv? What is it, don't you trust me?” He almost knocked his cup over with his flailing but caught it at the last possible moment. “When was the last time I let you down? Actually, no, don't answer that...”
Liv only chuckled, looking quite amused, and asked, “just… Don't make it worse, okay? You are one of the smartest people I know and I still wouldn't trust you with TARDIS repairs with us inside if I tried.”
“Double that,” Helen laughed and earned Liv's broad smile. That did make her morning a little brighter. She certainly stopped shivering.
“Ladies, you offend me!” The Doctor brought his arms up in mock defence.
“Oh please just make sure you don't accidentally explode something or delete a room with us in it, will you?” Helen pleaded. “Don't want to be hurtled into the time vortex without a warning. Again. Been there, done that, not as enlightening as someone might want to picture it.”
“More to the point, do you know how long it will take for her to, eh, repair herself?” Liv was always the pragmatic one.
“No idea!” Said the Doctor brightly. Helen and Liv weren't sure they shared his enthusiasm for that matter. “A couple of weeks maybe. Maybe a month? Several months top! The TARDIS indicated we aren’t allowed to either move or interfere for at least that long, so in the end it’s not really my call.”
“You are serious?!” Liv looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. Did he save that piece of information for the better times or what?
“Oh I think he is…” Helen herself wasn't all that happy about their prospects. She only hoped the TARDIS would allow her to find a room to sleep soon or it wouldn't be funny at all.
“You said you wanted a holiday? Somewhere safe?” The Doctor looked at both of them. “Well, I'm sorry I couldn't take you two to a nice holiday destination but at least you have time to relax now. Wasn't that what you wanted? Liv? Helen?”
“Well, I guess you might be right. We could go with a breather,” Helen smiled tiredly but exchanged a worried look with Liv. After a moment of silent communication Liv nodded and turned to their friend.
“Okay, Doctor, but will you be fine? You don’t usually cope with being stranded in one place, do you?” Liv voiced their shared concern.
“Well, not that it is indefinite, is it? The TARDIS does indicate it being temporary. At least this time there’s a finishing post!” He sounded over-optimistic and the girls shrugged. They knew them all too well to know he won’t last a fortnight. For now, however, they would let it slide. They’d deal with problems as they come.
“Right,” chimed Helen. “Even with the TARDIS feeling poorly, we can still do some exploring, now that we have time. Liv, what would you say?”
“Fine, sure. Are you alright though?” This time Liv looked at her with great concern and it made Helen's heart swell. “You look… I mean, have you slept at all? Did you have any more headaches? I am a med-tech, you can tell me, you know. I can help.”
“It's fine, Liv, please don't worry. I'll tell you if it isn't,” Helen smiled warmly and it seemed to be all the persuasion Liv needed.
“I think I spotted an observatory on my way here, thought you might like to see.”
Liv grabbed her hand firmly and dragged her away from the Doctor and the worries and the thoughts of their destiny. At least they didn’t have that issue hanging over them. The TARDIS did seem to shrink considerably, apparently in order to sustain more vital aspects of their new locked-down life. At the very least they weren't doomed to hurtle into some black hole or solid planet or the murdered timeline at a neck-breaking speed. She could let these worries go for now. The only thing Helen did gladly focus on was Liv's hand in hers, and their entwined fingers, and that alone made her feel so much warmer.
***
Robin clutched a key to the attic in his hand and couldn’t quite fathom how he came into possession of it and what it could mean. Was the appartement his? Could he do with it as he pleases and not depend on his father’s frantic relocating schedule? He couldn’t remember and his head hurt like hell but he had a warm feeling in his gut telling him it was exactly the case. That was a thought and a half, and he laughed. Between the pandemic leaving more time for his father to be at home and finally properly do something together with Robin and the key to the future stability lying solid in his pocket he felt almost giddy.
His phone buzzed and he took it out of his pocket. His new Divine Intervention project helping people out, providing mental support and care was getting more and more feedback and followers, more people needing help and those willing to help out. He couldn’t be prouder. Future is online indeed. He ran up the ladder to share good news with Akhtar sisters.
***
“Look! Here it is!” Liv pushed open the big double doors, with exquisite wooden carvings. Behind them they did find a round observatory, old and new at once. It looked as if it were the extension of the console room, a Victorian style and large brass telescope standing on a carpet right in the middle of it all. What really caught the eye was the sky, no, the pitch black cosmos unravelling in front of them, thanks to the transparent glass walls. It looked as if they stepped on a space station located in the furthest reaches of the cosmos. Helen looked in awe at the deepest hues of black and blue and violet outside, at the stars swirling in the distance, brighter than she’d ever seen before.
“Wow. It’s beautiful! Liv, do you think this is what’s outside? Same as when we open the TARDIS doors while in flight?” Helen’s voice was full of wonder.
“Not sure,” Liv mused. “No, don’t think so. The Doctor said we’ve landed, so that must be a TARDIS projection,” she shrugged apologetically. As if she herself had something to apologise for! What a notion.
“Right. Still, that is… quite remarkable, you know!” Helen smiled.
“It really is,” Liv hummed approvingly, though sparing the night sky no mind.
Helen finally tore her gaze off the view and turned to ask something but all the questions got stuck in her throat when she caught Liv staring right at her with a bright smile and awe in her eyes. Helen’s heart picked up pace and ears burned. Just about catching her brain from rebooting, she forced herself to release the breath she didn't realise she was holding. Stop. Liv probably didn’t stare. No, she was just answering the question, it was only natural to look at whomever you were talking to. Liv was acting normally, it was Helen’s sleep deprived brain, plagued by all sorts of thoughts and visions, that was to blame. Helen shook her head and asked tentatively, shutting her inner spiralling off.
“Would it be the Andromeda Nebula?”
She pointed to the left, where the distant but still infinitely huge mass of stars, black hole potentials, gas masses and rocks were forming the most amazing and bright spiral of light and colour Helen had ever seen this close.
“Galaxy. Andromeda Galaxy. Might be, it looks the right shape. Stil… Won’t know, I’m not that familiar with these parts of the sky, to be honest,” Liv shrugged and then asked out of the sudden: “Do you want to see the stars even closer? I think this old thing might help.”
She pointed straight at the giant ancient-looking contraption that may or may not have been the biggest telescope Helen had ever seen. She looked up at Liv, excitement mixed up with insecurity.
“Could we? I mean, do you know how to work this thing?”
“No idea,“ Liv grinned and started turning the numerous knobs, massive and tiny, to determine which one of them did what. Helen gingerly copied her movements to the T. “We'll figure it out, though, we're not clever for nothing!”
“Certainly!” Helen smiled, discovering that the biggest knob (that she absolutely had to turn with both hands and some amount of force) changed the altitude of the whole contraption. She adjusted it, and then found a little ladder to step up on so as not to strain her neck even further. Helen still felt a dull pain from the uncomfortable position she ended up sleeping in the night before, she wouldn’t want to add more to that.
“I think you have to look right in here. Try it,” she offered Liv, bringing the ladder closer still. She was quite certain that with such a view wherever they managed to point the telescope they would find something worth looking at.
“You go first,” Liv waved her off with a small smile.
“Are you quite sure?”
“Absolutely. Go ahead,” Liv smiled and Helen nodded gingerly and took a look. A quiet gasp escaped her lips and Liv couldn’t help but ask, “so? Do you see anything?”
“Oh Liv, it’s so so beautiful. All these colours! Just look at this comet's tail! You just have to see it, Liv, come here,” she reached out and Liv took her offered hand, climbing onto the ladder Helen just stepped down off. Leaning in to look in the eyepiece, Liv wavered just for a second and Helen at once put her hands on Liv’s waist to steady her. She heard a thankful hum and tried not to focus on Liv's soft curves under her palms.
“Yeah, you’re right. Quite something,” Liv nodded, turning around in Helen's arms. She just smiled and made no point to move or discard Helen's touch, and Helen's mind went blank. She knew she had to step aside to allow her friend to climb down but she was too mesmerised with the way the light of the distant stars was Illuminating Liv's features. She felt suddenly very hot under the collar and wondered briefly if Liv could feel it too, standing as close as they were.
“Earth to Helen?” Liv's smile definitely grew only wider. “Am I that good or have you slept that little today? What has gotten into you? Not that I'm complaining, god no.”
“I… uh…” Helen contemplated telling the truth at some point but her mind was still blissfully empty. Looking up to Liv made her mouth dry.
Yet the images of Liv being with someone else still plagued her mind, and left her in very confused feelings. Liv was right there, caring, smiling, almost flirting with her – was she flirting? or was Helen reading far too much into it? – being all stunning and adorable at the same time, and it was so hard to resist. Helen knew she fell for her friend a long time ago. After everything they've been through she was finally able to admit it at least to herself.
Helen just wasn't sure Liv could… like her back, as she were, she supposed. She grew up thinking there was something wrong with her, that she wouldn't ever fit in if she kept laying eyes on smart girls. So she learned to hide it and never act on it. Now, travelling to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, being to times and places, seeing so many different cultures, none of which excluded her as an aberration she thought she was, it was… strange. Liberating too, but old habits did die hard. Until the previous night, filled with those strange visions, she assumed Liv wouldn't be interested.
While she didn't want to ruin their wonderful friendship, it made her think. She couldn't remember anything about the taller woman in her dreams. The little voice in her head told her that it couldn't be a mere nightmare. Maybe the vision showed what might have been, what would have been, what could have been if only Helen never told her. If Helen never allowed herself to show what she felt. Well, maybe it was high time she stopped burying it all deep inside.
“Helen, what's wrong?” Liv scrunched her nose in confusion, and Helen was quick to deflect and change the subject, going back to Liv’s last question:
“Well… It is... It's probably nothing.”
“It usually isn't. What is the matter? You can tell me, you know,” Liv insisted.
“I know, of course I do. I can't be sure I am right, that I am not overreacting…”
“Helen,” Liv stopped her ramblings with a soft touch to her arm. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do! Right… I am just tired. I think the TARDIS must have relocated my room. I couldn’t find it anywhere,” Helen mumbled and cast her eyes down. “I know she's running low on energy, but how come she can sustain this amazing place we've never ever been to before but ditch the living room of one of her crew…”
“Why didn't you come straight back to me?” Liv asked softly.
“Didn't want to wake you up, I suppose. You needed that sleep, you seemed to have it worse,” she told her after contemplating the question for a moment. “Besides, to be honest, I never thought I could just…”
Liv squeezed her hand again, drawing her attention back, just when she started reeling again.
“Helen. You can always come to me, okay? Whatever, whenever, it doesn't matter. We're a team, right? We'd find a way, together,” she paused for a second, making sure Helen was listening, looking her straight in the eye. “That's what friends are for.”
“I… Yes. Yes, thank you, Liv. I'm sorry,” Helen averted her eyes, rubbing her hurting neck, and Liv managed to clock on that too.
“Whatever are you sorry for? Don't be. Now tell me, did you sleep at all today?”
“A bit,” Helen answered evasively and Liv snorted. Liv felt there was something on Helen’s mind she wasn’t yet ready to tell her, and she accepted that. She nodded, seemingly having decided on something:
“Okay. Come on then!”
“Where to?” Helen asked, mildly confused with such a change of demeanour.
“To find if the cinema room is still there,” Liv told her plainly. “What we need now, is to take our minds off things. Watch some cheesy movie, maybe a musical or whatever you prefer. Relax a little.”
“I thought you didn't do ‘relaxed’?” Helen reflected cheekily, trying to conceal how taken she was by that suggestion. Her ears and cheeks turned pink.
“I do for you,” Liv shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Helen didn't have time to process it, because the next moment Liv took her hand and led the way.
***
Andy was nervously pacing the floor. Something didn’t add up. He was this close to skyping Tania and asking if she felt the same glitch in his head, In his memories? There was his backpack with neatly packed 4 Hawaiian shirts and 2 matching swim shorts lying in the way that was the best evidence he’d got. He couldn’t recall going anywhere, he didn’t remember packing it in the first place, either. Something must be very wrong. He pushed the button to start his ancient laptop but instead of the start-up screen it made a loud humming noise and died down.
With a disapproving cry he started to dial his boss. He would need a replacement if he wanted to continue his extremely vital extraterrestrial investigations in this rapidly changing pandemic world.
***
Liv brushed her fingers through Helen’s hair and felt utterly content. The credits to whatever movie they’d just watched were rolling in front of them on the screen but Liv couldn’t be bothered to turn the projector off.
During the movie they inevitably drifted closer to each other, first Helen’s head landing on Liv’s shoulder and in turn her hand coming at Helen’s waist, bringing the linguist closer. The TARDIS – sly old spaceship – provided them with a blanket big enough for them to curl up under, and so they did. They didn’t talk much but then they didn’t have to, not yet. If that's what quiet stranded life would be like for a foreseeable future, as the Doctor had put it, Liv even agreed not to complain too much about it. The quiet longing she felt for a very-very long time made way for happiness. Helen was there, with her, and they weren’t running in the opposite directions. They had time. Finally, there was enough of it. Time to figure things out, to talk, time for quiet little moments they so rarely got. It was high time she finally admitted to Helen how she felt, and Liv could only hope it wouldn’t ruin that lovely strong bond and quiet understanding they shared. But then, if Helen’s reactions today were anything to go by, it shouldn’t. Liv couldn’t keep a shit eating grin off her face.
With Helen lying fast asleep in her lap Liv would be fine not to move at all, if it wasn’t for her medical training kicking in. A little voice in her head told her that Helen’s neck would hurt even more if they stayed like that. She carefully extricated them from the blanket and in one swift movement picked Helen up. That only got a little hum of protest from the linguist until she snuggled closer and clutched the front of Liv’s jacket in her hands. Liv chuckled. She certainly could get used to that. Helen was taller than her for sure, but Liv wasn’t fit for nothing. Carefully and slowly, so as not to startle her best friend, she started her way to the bedroom, only jokingly hoping the TARDIS didn’t ditch it too. Well, that still won’t be the biggest issue they’d faced. At least now they were together. They’ll cope.
