Thinking about all the sexual abuse that has no doubt happened in the temple of Bhaal, and just how bad it must've been for Durge... Imagine you're worshipped as a halfgod, you get everything you think you could ever want, you're Father's favorite - but if you fuck up, you become his breeding machine. I wonder if Durge knew about that threat; personally, I think he would've.
But anyway my Durge and Astarion are a fun vibe because they were both sexually abused but at least Astarion knows that he was, ykno? Meanwhile my boy is just there describing the most horrific shit, mostly unaware of just how fucked up what he's saying is, and Astarion there not sure if he should tell him "hey pal that is really fucking messed up actually" because he knows sometimes people need their delusions to be able to take the shit the world throws at them.
Aaaaand there's Gortash, who hears about all the horrific stuff, and who I think knows logically that's messed up to happen (especially to someone as young as Durge was when it started) but who would totally just go around dropping hints about how fucked up that was and how he would never do something like this. Did you know that in the church of Bane we'd kill someone for doing that?
And then he'd plan on how to break it to Durge in a way that breaks Durge down the most without Gortash coming off as the bad guy so that when the poor guy's world shatters around him, he can come to lick his wounds at the one safe place he has left - in Gortash's arms.
How do you see Strike and Gortash in a modern/real world AU?
OH i did that one as one of my first drawings of them, in November!
Strike's still a cult leader and an assassin who meets Gortash during an assassination gone wrong. Gortash is a tech CEO with very questionable practices and sweatshops in third world countries, he recently also got into politics. They keep their relationship hidden because Gortash wants the support of republicans as well and isn't open about his relationship with a man but Strike does kill off his competition and then they have nasty gay sex all over their corpses.
Gortash treats Strike as his sugarbaby, even though Strike is similarly rich through even more illegal ways but it isn't clear if Gortash is aware of that.
you want questions, i give questions. Does Strike ever get/use the Slayer form? If so, did Gorty ever see it? Do you have any unique design takes for it (like things that make it look more like a form of Strikes rather than just Big Scary Slayer)?
He had it pre-tadpole, then it was stripped away from him as a punishment. I don't think I will ever give it a more personalized look, as it is meant to fully strip Strike of anything he is that isn't Bhaal's scion specifically.
He would want to wait until Strike leaves Bhaal because the only way they could be married under Bane is if they're both of the Banite faith.
He's been planning for years how it would go so that it would be perfect, the proposal I mean, but honestly? He is aware that the actual proposal would be most likely him spontaneously blurting out a "Marry me" when he'd get too into a moment of Strike doing something (like ripping out Raphael's wings in front of him) and Gort would forget himself.
What he doesn't know is that they've been engaged for about a decade, ever since Strike told him that he'd like to kill him right before he kills himself, and Gort smiled and agreed. Too bad he isn't aware of the way a Bhaalist marriage works, but before tadpoling Strike has very much considered them engaged for years
Have a ramble about my Durge and his issues with sex because why not
TW for mentions of sexual assault and abuse, attempted incest, grooming and mentions of underage stuff; nothing is graphic but it does get dark so please don't read if you don't feel like you're in the right space for it
Strike is a very sexual guy as I'm sure you've had the chance to notice, but honestly, his relationship with sex and sexuality is complicated to a degree that he completely refuses to even acknowledge.
His Urges and Bhaal-given 'Ectasy of Murder' make it practically impossible for him to seperate between his own desires and those of Bhaal. He was way too young when he first got them, practically when he hit puberty, and then he was immediately encouraged to 'explore' and 'experiment' with either corpses, other Bhaalists, or still living victims. Sceleritas was the one to encourage and 'guide' him and Strike stopped feeling sick about the new need that overcame him whenever he killed well. He had to practically gaslight himself into seeing it as a gift from Father, or he would dislike it, and you can't afford to dislike something your god wants when you're his Chosen.
He also doesn't really know how to say no to sex. The way I try to write him is in a similar way of how society expects a cishet guy to always be down to fuck, except it's cranked up to a thousand - he is Bhaal's seed, scion, his breeder - there is no reason for why he would ever want to say no, is there? If you asked him for any reason he could think of for him not wanting to have sex, he genuinely wouldn't known the answer.
He said no once though, only once - when the temple attempted to match him with Orin once they were in their late teens. Orin would've pushed through with it even though she was obviously less than enthusiastic, but Strike was the one to push her away that time. It wasn't the incest aspect of it that turned him off, tbh; that really isn't a value the temple of Bhaal would consider abnormal, but Strike just... Orin was always the only relationship he's had where he never felt like it could turn sexual at any moment - they've bathed together, they slept cuddled up on the same bed, they straddled eachother when beating the shit out of the other and none of it was ever sexual, for either of them. But that was the first time he refused Bhaal's will and also the first time he lied to Him - he made up that he didn't think Bhaal's blood should get even more diluted and defiled than it was in Orin's veins. After that, Orin never forgave him for thinking he was above her (as she interpreted it) and their relationshio only strained more when Strike met Gortash a few years later.
Gortash is a whole other can of worms that I don't think I have to get into right now, but Strike's religious upbringing makes every sign of weakness, such as signs of softness or affection (for an enemy, especially) a sin and having sex reduces the sinfulness of it. Holding hands, kissing? Unforgivable. Intertwining fingers during sex, or cuddling right after while they're both still chasing their breath? Not ideal, but it can happen. Not the worst thing. It's not like he was doing something intimate just for the sake of intimacy, you know?
He's very hypersexual now as an adult because of all the above mentioned things combined, and when I get to Godsbound (my bg3 timeline fic has a name now btw!) He likes to joke and flirt and fuck literally whoever, that doesn't change end after tadpoling, he still has no idea how to be close to anyone without it being sexual but also he is so horrifically touchstarved that he wakes up screaming if he doesn't have a body next to him to hold onto it. I would like to explore how much of an actual issue that is for him, especially when he has forgotten all of the excuses he told himself through the years and the decades of religious fanaticism. But then again, he does tend to push his problems away to 'deal with later', so who knows.
