Agh, I love this little Dave/Bro interaction, but it has been thoroughly debunked by the striunion upd8. This makes me extremely sad. Same goes for "Brotherly Love," also from Octopimp. "Bringing Up Babies," my absolute favorite, is also on pretty shaky ground.
i got 6 new messages so im guessing at least 2 of them are from one homestuck pal and 4 of them are from other people
ok so lets see whats going on now
im just hoping this isnt awkward again
and what are the lilypad trio up to now? anything shocking?
ohmighgosh!!! thats adorable theyre discussing terezis past life (offscreen? what a tease!)
which is nice she could do witha pal to talk about that wiht even if theyre just pitch-arguing about the fucking dragon again (those eyes are WRONG)
but rose could do with a distaction... look at her... bless... she is truly in hate
oh dear god
ok this is it i like this minipanel more than friday’s it’s so quietly evil
rose contemplating homicide-suicide and grows sharp teeth while john still has a deathglare or should i say a redglare badum-tsh
now what is vriska up to
im on a boat with a couple o wackos~
that looks a bit like the condesce’s ship with the way shes standing
another minizoom on the top right panel...
i love how beautiful lofaf still manages to be despite being completely clean and also not on fire
i’ll say again: oh dear god
time to mess with jake and/or his sprite
by revealing that fridge that those up there on cloud 9 forgot about
nice shit if i do say so myself
(mayor pls be warm and welcoming dont exile the cherub)
now to move onto... the actual material
but i think the minipanels are probably gonna be much more charming
discussing the killer final boss
...does dirk even know theyre working with a troll
DIRK: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
DAVE: i bet
DIRK: Bear in mind... I haven't actually SOLVED many problems over the course of my life?
DIRK: But the ones I have, man.
DIRK: Swords proved hells of instrumental.
DAVE: what do you mean you didnt solve many problems
DAVE: didnt you like
DAVE: program robots and stuff
DIRK: I guess I meant real problems.
DIRK: Involving...
DIRK: People.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: those
dont use swords to solve your people problems, kids. we all saw how THAT turned out - at least 2 close friends get stabbed with ur own sword, sometimes more.
also dirk is right hes never solved many ppl problems yet dave barely has either
DIRK: So Jack has... Lord English powers?
DAVE: yup
DIRK: Does that have anything to do with Jake?
DAVE: not according to my current understanding of a mostly nonsensical body of information
nO SHHHH SHHHHHHHH BKEW IS GONNA DO THE THING WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT DECAPITATED PUPPETEERED JAKE FOR WEEKS
DAVE: he MIGHT be vulnerable to welsh things too
DAVE: dont quote me on that
DAVE: because
DAVE: it will make me sound like an idiot
...brb gonna kill lord english
with amazing welsh words such as “cwningan”
DIRK: Guestimate?
DAVE: um
DAVE: not soon enough is my best guess
DAVE: and i guess
DAVE: also my opinion?
DIRK: Oh.
for fuck sake
dave is being so cold here that he makes rose’s attitude to jasprosesprite^2, and terezi’s attitude to ‘lame weenies’, look warm and friendly
DIRK: Is...
DIRK: Everything alright?
drk is not a fuckign idiot
oh man... dirk was looking forward to this meeting much more than dave was... as i predicted way back lol
DAVE: what is it about me thats important then
DIRK: I'm...
DIRK: Not sure how to answer.
DAVE: why
DIRK: Because I'm getting the sense that you might disapprove of whatever I might say.
DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew.
DAVE: idolized??
DIRK: See.
DIRK: It seems like you think it's weird.
DAVE: .........
DIRK: Uh. Yeah.
DIRK: I shouldn't have said anything.
poor dirk... if i was in his situation, i’d have died of shame or something and just gotten out a computer and done whatever the hell dave did
or maybe we wouldnt have ran off away from our close friends?
oh it turns out dave doesnt think dirk is very different
DAVE: well
DAVE: heres well i guess
DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok?
DIRK: Oh.
DIRK:
DIRK: Why not?
DAVE: honestly i dont know if i want to get into it
DIRK: Ok.
:(
well at least some of the truth is out there
poor dirk...
poor dave too
clouds? oh man thats quite a storm going on
DAVE: ok actually maybe i will get into it
good
if you left on THAT note you’d have all fucking died
he’s MAD
DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them
DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me
DAVE: but thats not how it was
DAVE: their complaints were trumped up nonsense and i bought it cause... i dunno
DAVE: i didnt have any frame of reference
DAVE: but his dad and her mom no matter what they said it was so obvious they cared about them deeply
DAVE: even jades weird fuckin grandpa who died when she was young obviously would have done anything for her
DAVE: why did i get such a raw cut of the asshole deck
DAVE: and why did it take me so long to figure that out
DAVE: and like hes dead now so thats that
DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years
DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!
oh my gosh
he is furious that his guardian was such a cunt...
and he cant get any closure until now and its a weird kind o closure
DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me
DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him
DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code
DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass"
DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing
i think... i think he was proud of you, Dave
but i’m not at all surprised by this interpretation
also the next part:
DAVE: i dont want to get out the laundry list
DAVE: but for reference laundry wasnt one of those things
DAVE: that was just one of the many little domestic things i just had to sort of FIGURE OUT
DAVE: sorta like i eventually had to learn what the REAL purpose of a refridgerator was from movies
oh holy fuck!!! he was severely neglected as a kid!! he wasnt taught how to raise himself properly...
i can sort of relate to that and i am angry about my experience with it and i am even angrier about dave’s
tz’s right, the deceased mapelhoof was his real lusus
DAVE: it didnt make me stronger
DAVE: it did the opposite
DAVE: it made me never want to fight
DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds
DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism
DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to
DIRK: ...
:(
DAVE: i only started getting it after spending a lot of time in person with a bunch of people who actually did care about me
DAVE: and i could start feeling like
DAVE: actually somewhat human for the first time
DAVE: instead of...
DAVE: some sort of runty afterthought to a household cabal of smutty puppets
DIRK: ... Puppets?
DAVE: the fuckin puppets!!!
DAVE: i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me
i wonder how long it took him to get over the sound of metal while on that meteor
i’d say, at least a year, and he still jumps sometimes when people move too fast
and like me he probably is very greedy now. thats what happens when you compete for food but then have a good supply.
but he had... good friends...
DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever
DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it
DAVE: maybe...
DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him??
DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in...
DAVE: grinning...
DAVE: glaring...
DAVE: laughing in my sleep...
DAVE: maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so...
DAVE: maybe we would have...
DAVE: ugh
DIRK: What?
youre right there is a slight chance the presence of lil cal completely warped his mind and dirk got out early because he was only aroud cal for 16 years not 30
DIRK: That was Cal, right?
DAVE: yeah
DIRK: Right.
DIRK: My version is "empty", apparently.
DIRK: Whatever that means.
DAVE: huh
DAVE: how do you know that
DIRK: A source.
DIRK: One supposedly knowledgeable in jujus.
DIRK: I never quite knew what that meant, though.
DAVE: well
DAVE: whatever his was
DAVE: "empty" is never how i would have described it
DIRK: Hmm.
hes not gonna be empty for long
it seems theyre figuring out the mystery of lord english
DAVE: he was still pretty much awful no matter what the reason
DAVE: and im sure thats the only feeling ill ever have about him
DAVE: so who cares why it was like that
DIRK: Yeah...
:((( oh boy dirk say something
dont worry about how weird itll be - he needs a good sign
wow this is a very long update
so dirk is apologizing but dave says no its not you but dirk says “yes it is, its the splinters. IM ACCEPTING THEM.” which is good
im not pasting because im reading too fast i am interested now
DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities.
DIRK: So, when I hear about stuff I did in another reality,
DIRK: I'm not sure what my adult self might have ever tried to do to atone for that stuff, if anything...
DAVE: pretty much dick squat
DIRK: Yeah. But in any case,
DIRK: I'm sure I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry I messed up your life.
DAVE: ...
see, one of dirk’s best traits is also one of his worst traits. he is logical. he acts on thought, not feeling. he does this better than the knights and seers,
which is why dirk was a large part of the inversion theory... he acts like a more rational and sociopathic mind player would act. kind of like a sylph actually, like aranea and kanaya.
(but i was told inversion theory is wrong so...)
what im saying is dirk is boring and cold but he is very smart and self-critical. he will try to change his behaviour if he can be convinced it’s the right thing to do.
haha i love this panel
DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life
DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever
DAVE: it is just a messed up situation
DAVE: and i guess i had to vent
DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to
DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro
DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit
you never talked to karkat, or rose, or terezi about this?
or, err... vriska? who “understands” a little bit. but thinks youre being pathetic... yeah i wouldnt talk to her either.
DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up.
DIRK: With my friends.
DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up.
DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle.
ahh so dave offered and dirk was like YES LETS GO RIGHT NOW
dirk is comparing dave’s relationship with bro to his own relationship with jake...
DIRK: The sad thing is,
DIRK: I can really see it.
DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am.
DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen.
you go dirk
DAVE: i mean personally
DAVE: i think about it all the time now
DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad
DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral
DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche
DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now
DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild
DAVE: for him...
DAVE: or you i mean
DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit
DAVE: like grappling with...
DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: That's not too far off.
oh boy
but at least dave is considering morality now - his pre-cascade and pre-retcon self couldnt care much
and dirk... dirk has the potential to become evil... his spriteself has already achieved that...
DAVE: but the point is
DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit
DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that
DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort
DAVE: i think that counts for something
yes! dirk has been trying to be good...
dirk talks about his self loathing - this conversation is good for him because it’s the Truth rather than something that is ambiguously trolling
DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was.
DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least.
DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me.
DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though.
DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me.
DIRK: If anything, just the contrary.
DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation.
DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.
DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.
oh boy... yeah dirk blames himself largely
jane and roxy do think youre awesome
and roxy wasnt exactly the best pal in the world to dirk which is a flaw on her otherwise clean and fluffy pink friendship record, though she tried to make up for it after sobering up
DAVE: so
DAVE: was that stuff true
DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me
DIRK: Yeah.
DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better
DIRK: It's definitely not like that.
DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self.
DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago.
DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly.
DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization.
DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general,
DIRK: It was nice to think about you.
DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.
yeah see dirk REALLY admires his bro and is horrified he was such a dick to him
this conversation is good
very long, very good. i hope the strider fans are happy.
i will see some dave hate but not a lot because dave is popular and sort of highly justified in his anger
DIRK: He made like a million bullshit Statues of Liberty, scummed them up with jpeg artifacts, and littered them all over the planet.
DAVE: holy shit
:DDD that’s one for the diary
DIRK: Really, I modeled everything about myself after you. Or at least everything good that I was trying to become.
DIRK: And I probably spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would be like to live during his time, and to be able to have something resembling a sibling relationship, or be in some sort of master-apprentice situation.
DIRK: When I finally learned you existed, and started to understand who he really was in relation to me, that put a lot into context.
DIRK: I realized he was a version of you who got a chance to live up to his full potential.
DIRK: And when I understood there was a young version of you, in a situation sorta like mine, whose time on Earth got cut short when you were thrown into all this,
DIRK: I was at least happy to think there was some reality where you got the chance to do everything you wanted to do, be successful, and fight for all the right things.
DIRK: Even if ultimately it didn't lead to a great outcome for humanity, you had an opportunity to live a full life and show what you were made of.
DIRK: While I guess I had... the same opportunity on your world, somewhat less fortunately.
dave strider’s full potential is something to behold
maybe he should live up to it again
including the ninja rapoffs yes please
DAVE: but then for all my bitching i guess i still never grasped your full reality
DAVE: just like you probably didnt grasp mine, but just reading into the mindset of a historical figure as best you could
DAVE: what if i wasnt as heroic as it seemed?
DAVE: what if adult me was kinda douchey too in a way you couldnt observe
DIRK: Perhaps.
DIRK: But beyond a certain point, I think accomplishments speak for themselves.
DIRK: I dunno if you can just completely shred every person who ever did great things because they had some flaws.
DIRK: All I can say is, it was important to me to see him the way I did.
DIRK: As a good person who inspired me, and set the standard for what I wanted to be.
DIRK: It kept me going.
ancestors, man.
heck for all they know dave could have been just like mindfang, a crazy sociopath badass pirate queen who performed atrocities
but he was probably more like revolutionary girl latula the neophyte idealist knight who fought for justice, drawing something resembling good from a bad template
with less swing ropes in the vicinity
and as a result dirk became a good person, he had a good role model
DIRK: I bet you've become stronger than you realize, not because of anything he did, but because of what you've done, and the ways you've changed yourself through your own effort.
DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.
DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.
DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.
DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.
dave is a survivor.
he has gone through so much crap and is stronger for it. and... a better person. he’s found a foundation for his morals of which we only got a glimpse of before. the retcons have been very good for dave... maybe this difference was planned from the start.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: you dont think im cool?
DIRK: Nah.
DIRK: I mean, in the right way, yes. I think you are.
DIRK: But, in the way that doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter,
DIRK: Not particularly.
DAVE: ...
hahahah! so much for coolkid facade.
holy FUCK is this a long upd8, 25 pages and mostly text, still going?
i like this planet there’s shit going on
what the fuck, is this a parallel to his past
:OOOOOOO
awww
wow i bet people are glad we waited a month for this
DAVE: its really fucked up of me
DAVE: what im presently doing
DAVE: so
DAVE: sorry about that
DIRK: Oh, y-
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: Man.
DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.
DAVE: i know
so fucked up
there we go!
that was... that was incredible.
i couldnt have imagined a striunion that poignant.
and now they dont have to be awkward in battle. talking of which it seems nobody knows whats going on?
i liked that last part, it was funny. their ironic coolkid humor might bounce off each other well.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GO THE STRIDERS ARE HAVING A REAL AND SERIOUSLY SERIOUS CONVERSATION HELP I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW ANY HOMESTUCKS TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS I’M SHAKING THIS ISN’T OKAY HELP. EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH, AGH. HELPPPPPPPPPPP
I can’t help but wonder what conversations were like in the beta Strider household though. There’s no way they could be this awkward in their own home, right? Or do they just... not talk. Because that’s beginning to seem likely. What with the mysterious neglectful figure Bro is. (Oh no terrible thought what if the reason Dave talks so much normally is because he doesn’t talk at home at all.)