i’ve decided to be transparent about some things as a butch/stud
i’m going through a breakup (again same person lol don’t go back to ur exes guys) & it’s really made me open my eyes. as a masculine presenting person, i’ve learned to take a lot from my partners. i’ve been expected to be tough but also open up and be soft. i’ve been thrown off with mixed emotions, messages, and overall confusion. i’ve been yelled at, i’ve been iced out, and i’ve felt loved all by the same person. what sucks is when i’ve opened up about my feelings, all that was mentioned was thrown in my face. i didn’t want to seem like that stud who didn’t care or that stud who broke hearts. that fear left me in situations that has hurt more than anything.
if i could give advice to myself (but also any other butch/masc/stud reading this) i would urge you to sit and think why you’re with this person. sit and think if you’re truly happy, or do you like feeling needed. sometimes stepping away is the best thing you can do for you. not everyone is “fixable”. relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows BUT they arent supposed to be hard. you shouldn’t be left with anxiety and feeling small with anyone.
i feel like these things aren’t really talked about on our end. it’s okay to show and feel your emotions. it’s okay not to take things like this. it doesn’t negate your “toughness” by choosing you. your future wife would never make you feel small.