Oct 13, 2021
Actual email I got from a student on homework I posted:
Hey, do I have to do this?
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Actual email I got from a student on homework I posted:
Hey, do I have to do this?
stuff my students said this past school year (2018/19)
“i really appreciate how dedicated you are to you work” “well if i can dedicate myself to seven korean men who don’t know i exist i can do anything”
“my first regret is coming out of the womb”
“you’re still talking about kpop?” “you’re always talking about your grandkids!”
“did you know preying mantises rip the heads off of their mates? i want to do that”
“i can’t cut straight cause i’m not straight”
“i need a sew in because they keep snatching my wig”
“what does ‘mgr’ stand for?” “it stands for migraine because that’s what you’re all giving me”
“i suffer mentally, i don’t want to suffer physically”
[during algebra] “mrs., can i go back to kindergarten?”
“do you think we can figure out what comes next on the graph?” “no we can just end it there”
“if you need some TLC what do you need?” “tables, ladders, and chairs”
“who’s heard of an RN?” “it’s a nurse” “but what kind?” “radioactive?”
“come on you guys! we’re all in this together!” “are we though? because in the next movie she said ‘gotta go my own way’”
“there’s a quote in the bible that says you have to give me some m&ms ... oh wait, lord forgive me, that isn’t in the bible”
“[playing heads up] martin luther king got it? didn’t get he murdered? am i a bullet??”
“i hated preschool. one time i picked up a toy and this kid bit me” “i bit a kid in preschool”
“i have one friend getting married, one’s pregnant, and.. i’m just on instagram”
“everyone is an individual” “just like the pledge says!” “...that’s indivisible..”
“i want my phone bill paid for christmas”
“fragile things can be very beautiful”
“what’s your most prized possession?” “me”
“there’s literally nothing to do except listen to clean music”
“i was the most feared kid in kindergarten”
“he was as salty as a salt cracker”
“did you lose it?” “i didn’t lose it, i just forget where i misplaced it”
“what’s another word for congressmen?” “murderers!” “...and where do they meet?” “hell”
“i don’t sports”
“so what are you guys learning about in history?” “sadness”
“what do you need ice for?” “i’m always in pain, miss. can’t i just ice my soul?”
“what color was the confederates?” “white people”
“gracias” “nevada”
“i think i’m gonna put mayonnaise on my peanut butter sandwich because i’m dead inside”
bonus: one of my students‘ powerpoint presentation on the free masons that he turned in for a grade
[WHY THE ILLUMINATI CAN CATCH THESE HANDS] [Because they can and i said so]
Student: is that the opera where the girl dies at the end? Me:…..that’s every opera.
“Let’s play rock, paper, scissors, and loser gets smacked in the head”
Senior guy in my 6th period
Teacher: So why do you think the Inspector might be disappointed with the Birlings?
Student: Because they're meant to be role models and they done goofed.
Get your ass to class!
Freshman Friday Motovation
You know I'm at the point where I'm just like: 'Got assignments due in tomorrow? Well stuff that I'm gonna go to bed at 830 and have a proper nights sleep for once in my life because i know that i won't actually do the work anyway'
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