Excitement Leads to Anxiety
Long-term-boyfriend!sub!Hwiyoung x (Gender-Ambiguous) Dom!Reader
Summary: After touring overseas, your boyfriend finally returns to your arms. Things quickly get hot and heavy, but they stop almost as quickly as they start, making your boyfriend anxious.
This is part of a collaboration called The Intimacy Project, which deals with the fact that the imperfections of intimacy makes it much more, well, intimate. I highly encourage checking out the Directory for the project to find other amazing works that deal with topics involving the imperfect side of intimacy!
Word Count: 2.1k
Contains: sub!idol aspects, smut (strip tease, blowjob, etc), anxieties/insecurities, a little bit of crack, mostly fluff tho
A/N: woah, a new post??? WILD. Sorry I’ve been gone so long. I will slowly but surely be finishing up the four stories I’ve promised you all. This is the first of my two pieces for the Intimacy Project! Hope you enjoy!
Your boyfriend texted you the moment the plane landed. The message was quickly followed by Zuho messaging you a picture of your boyfriend smiling like crazy at his phone. You giggled at his adorable excitement before saving the secret picture and messaging your boyfriend that he'd be showered with kisses the moment he steps in the door.
[Bebi♡]: Please do!! I miss you so much.
After that message, he must be busy gathering his luggage and making his way to your place because you only hear from him again when you hear someone successfully enter the code to enter your apartment.
You jump up from your position on the couch to satisfy your promise. As he sets his suitcase by the entrance and turns to close the door behind him, you hug him tightly from behind, leaving soft kisses on his nape. As he turns around in your arms, trying to face you, you keep placing kisses on any revealed skin you see. Upon seeing his smiling face, you kiss both cheeks before locking your lips with his. His arms find their way around your waist while yours stay wrapped tightly around his as if worried he will be pulled away from you once again.
As the simple welcome-home kisses turn into a full make-out session, you lead your boyfriend to the nearby couch. You sit down first, momentarily breaking the kiss, but he quickly straddles your lap, draping his arms over your shoulders and continuing the kiss. You smirk into the kiss, finally recognizing his desperation when he begins grinding against your thigh.
You lightly pull on his hair to reveal his now-pouting face, teasing, "Babe, you seem really needy. Should I help you?"
"Please. I missed your touch so much." He begs, trying to nod despite your steady grip on his hair.
As you let go, you tell him to strip for you. He quickly stands up, pulling his t-shirt over his head without hesitation. You can't help but laugh as you tell him to slow down so you can savor the sight since you haven't seen it in months. A blush covers his face, but he listens well, unbuttoning his jeans and slowly sliding them down his legs. You jokingly tell him to spin around, but, with the anticipation building inside him, the comment clearly doesn't register as a joke to him, as he embarrassingly turns in place, his hands covering his face the whole time.
"You're adorable." You coo, reaching out to remove his hands from his face, "Now, sweetheart, will you finish stripping, or are you too embarrassed? Do I need to do it?"
He shakes his head as his hands fly to the waistband of his underwear. His movements stop momentarily as he remembers that he shouldn't rush. After taking a breath to stabilize himself, he slowly pulls down the band, his half-hardened member bouncing out once the material is removed. As the final article of clothing drops to his feet, you move forward and reach around him to squeeze his butt and use it to pull him closer to you. He steps forward, and you catch him off-guard as you take his penis into your mouth without warning. The high-pitched noise he makes as a result echoes in the otherwise silent room.
Following his desperation, you start sucking hard, moving your head fast without warming him up. After a minute or so, his legs begin to shake, and his moans turn into curses. Before he can even warn you, his cum coats your throat, making you choke a bit before regaining composure and swallowing the liquid. He quickly takes a step back, stumbling over his words as he apologizes for cumming so early and without any warning. You stand up and quickly pull him into your arms as you see his eyes begin to water.
You coax him to sit back down, and he instantly hides his face in your shoulder, his repeated apologies now muffled. You pet his back, insisting that it's okay. You feel his tears through the thin fabric, which leaves a dull pain in your chest to witness, and you know he needs to calm down from the initial shock before you can convince him that you don't mind the situation. You hold him close and continue rubbing his back and petting his hair until he lifts his head.
"I'm so sorry. This isn't how I wanted to spend the first day back. I'll make it up to you." He declares in between sniffles.
You place your hand under his chin and kiss his forehead before insisting, "Babe, it's okay. I really don't mind at all. You got excited, that's all. It's normal."
"But-"
"No, Youngkyun. But nothing. We have as much time as we want to screw around whenever we're together." You use your thumb to wipe away the remaining tears on his cheeks as you continue, "This way, we can enjoy other things together today. We can cuddle, watch something, play some games, blast music so we can dance like weirdos - literally anything. No matter what, I'm going to enjoy it because it means I'm spending time with you."
He shines a small smile through puffy eyes before asking if he can get some water. You tell him to think of what he wants to do while you get some for him. You wiggle your way off the couch and head to the kitchen, getting water for you both. As you return to the living room, you find your boyfriend sitting on the floor, in front of the cabinet, looking at your small collection of physical copies of games, movies, and albums. You set the glasses on the coffee table before asking if he's chosen something to do.
"Kind of. I'm just narrowing things down at this point. Gimme a number, one through ten."
"Uh... six?"
"Cool." He pulls out an album and inserts the CD into the player, "Guess we'll listen to some k-pop this time."
You stifle a laugh as you realize which activity he chose from the list of examples you gave him. As he hits play and holds out his hand, you can't help your laughter when you hear his own group play from the speakers. "I see I was given the illusion of choice."
"No, even numbers got you this while odd numbers would've given you one of your non-k-pop albums. You just chose the proper option."
You roll your eyes as you take his hand and pull him in close. He stumbles over his feet, not expecting you to flip the script by bringing him towards you. The tall boy basically falls into you, his face hitting your chest. He looks up at you, clearly embarrassed, so you wink up at him to throw him even more off-guard. You see the blush cover his face and ears before he tries to cover his embarrassment by standing up straight again and beginning to dance to the song. Since his reaction was so cute, you decide to let it go without comment and join in, dancing poorly on purpose to make him laugh.
The action succeeds, and you both purposely dance poorly while laughing at one another until you exhaust your energy and throw yourself onto the couch. He straddles your lap, nuzzling his nose into your neck as you both catch your breath. The music fades into the background as you focus on the sweet boy cuddling into you, concentrating on hearing his heartbeat and breathing.
You soon realize that Hwiyoung is falling asleep on you. You tap his back and gently tell him that the two of you should head to bed rather than risk falling asleep in an uncomfortable position on the couch. Slowly, he gets up and helps you up as well. Holding his hand, you lead him to the bedroom, letting him get underneath the blankets first. He holds his arms open wide, whining about not cuddling you soon enough and hoping you'll fill the empty spot in his grasp.
You undress before joining, but when you do join him, he instantly wraps his arms around you, pulling you tightly into his chest. The room is mostly silent for a while, so you begin dozing off. However, you hear him softly call your name, checking whether you're still awake. You mumble a response to let him know you aren't yet asleep, willing to listen to whatever he has to say, especially since he usually falls asleep before you.
As he squeezes you tightly, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice, he quietly asks, "Is it really okay that I came so quick earlier?"
"Did you have fun dancing with me after?"
"Mhm."
"Then yes, it's totally okay. As long as the time we spend together is enjoyable for both of us, I don't care what we do. Sex isn't that important to me, babe.
Your happiness and my own happiness both come first."
"I'm just... I just feel really bad about it. It was so quick and you didn't get to enjoy anything. I didn't even help you at all."
"I will continue to reassure you that it was completely okay for however long you need me to. It really is okay. We still had a great time today. Plus, who said I didn't enjoy it? Teasing you like earlier is extremely fun for me." You wiggle an arm out from between the two of you to wrap it around him and hug him close.
After a short sound of embarrassment, he mumbles, "I'll still make up for it." The drowsiness in his voice fades out his words as he drifts out of consciousness.
You smile at the thought of him being comforted enough to fall asleep mid-conversation before allowing your body to relax and fall asleep as well.
When you wake up in the morning, your partner isn't there with you. You look around, wondering if you simply dreamed of him coming home yesterday until you recognize the faint sound of the water flowing in the shower. You close your eyes and stay in bed until Hwiyoung returns. Hearing him scoff to himself about you still being asleep, you respond without moving, and you hear him jump at the sound of your voice.
"Who said I was asleep, meanie?"
"God, Y/N! Don't scare me like that!"
You break out into a loud laugh, one that only grows when he tells you that it wasn't funny. Soon enough, the contagious laugh reaches him. You both laugh until you're out of breath, him ending up on the floor.
As you sit up and look over the edge of the bed to see the panting boy looking up at you from his position, you smile, "You're so cute."
"Says the cute one." He spits back without hesitation - as per usual - and sits up, patting your head as it hangs over the edge, "Should I make some breakfast for us?"
"Are you going to burn down my kitchen by trying? Just stay with me a bit more, please." You hold your arms open wide, gesturing him to come to lay in bed with you again.
As he gets off the ground and finds his way into a comfortable position in your arms, he speaks under his breath, "God, I love you."
"I love you, too, baby."
"Thank you for accepting me no matter what. Even after what happened yesterday. I'm going to pamper you all day today because of that. Whatever you want, I'll do it."
You giggle, knowing he's being way too serious, so you decide to play with him a bit, "So, if I asked you to put on a dress and let me do your makeup, you would?"
"Ye- Wait... Babe, please don't make me do that."
"I won't. It's just funny since you don't have to make it up to me at all. But if this will help you feel better, I'm not going to stop you. I just want you to understand that finishing early is normal. The reverse is true as well. I might end up without the energy to keep going some nights, or I might get too excited and finish quickly, too. It's all normal."
"Okay, babe, but I'm still gonna be under your control today. Anything you want, I'll do it."
"Under my control?" Your lips curl up into a smirk as your brain begins to imagine all the things you could have your boyfriend do if he would obey your every word, but you decide you'd rather just enjoy your time with him, "So we can cuddle all day, right?"
"That's it? That's all you want?"
"Youngkyun, I didn't have you with me for months. It'll happen again the next time you guys go on tour. I just want to enjoy the time I have with you. So just relax with me for a bit, okay?"
He nods as you both snuggle into each other, basking in the presence of one another.
