I decided to write a 100-word Subject Zero Kaidan drabble over in the MEFFW discord and it has GROWN. This is pre-Through A Mirror Darkly. Short and sweet! (Art is by LeFlayArt).
“Do you trust me?”
Kaidan's voice floated from the shadowy corner of his usual haunt beneath engineering. Pandora whirled around to face him and sensed, more than saw, his movement as he stepped through the darkness.
She saw the faint blue sparks of biotics flickering in his gaze, and her eyes dropped to his tattoos as the dim light and shadow played over his skin. A vivid image of being stalked by a striped tiger popped into her head; a predator who would devour her if given the chance.
“I trust you,” Pandora breathed, waiting for the tiger to pouce.
He laughed softly and stepped closer, his biotic aura scraping against hers like nails on a chalkboard. She shuddered, unable to suppress her reaction to the wrongness of his power. It felt like an old-fashioned television tuned to the wrong station. Like static.
"Still trust me? Kaidan stepped even closer, right into her personal space.
Pandora's breath caught in her throat. He was so close that she could feel the heat from his skin against hers. She could smell his scent; cigarettes, whiskey, and ozone. Her heart pounded, her pulse thundering in her ears as held her gaze for a long moment.
"You're all alone down here, Shepard." His eyes dropped to her lips, and he smirked. "Are you that confident you could take me in a fight if I decided to hurt you?"
"No," Pandora admitted, her voice surprisingly firm and confident. She met his eyes and forced a smirk, pleased to see him look unsettled by her reaction. "I couldn't take you in a fight, but I'm confident that you won't hurt me."
He scoffed, eyes flashing as though in answer to her challenge. He closed the distance between them, his face an inch from hers. "You think I can't hurt you, Shepard?"
He wanted her to give in, to step back and show fear. Pandora refused. She straightened and leaned in, forcing Kaidan to shift his weight back a tiny bit to avoid touching her. "You could, but you won't." She smiled. "Because you want something else from me, don't you?"
His eyes widened almost imperceptibly, and his aura pulsed against hers, a buzz of reaction he couldn't hide. Immediately, Kaidan stepped back scowling. His fists were clenched at his sides, and he turned his back on her.
"I think you should leave before you find out what I really want to do to you," he bit out, his voice rough and harsh as he moved back into his darkness.
Pandora swallowed and stepped back into the light off the stairwell, turning her back on him with difficulty. She started up the stairs, and glanced back over her shoulder but couldn't see Kaidan in the gloom. He watched though. She could feel his gaze burning against her as she retreated.
The tiger hadn't pounced tonight, but his eyes were so hungry that she knew next time he wouldn't let her get away from him.
And Pandora wasn't entirely sure she wanted him to let her.
While the Reaper IFF is being installed, Pandora takes the opportunity to meet up with the Alliance who have reached out to her via her father, Admiral Stephen Hackett. What she isn't expecting is that Kaidan has a dark history with Hackett, and when the two men meet things quickly spiral out of control.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Cover Art of Subject Zero Kaidan is by LeFlay Art!
A snippet is below the cut:
"Pan! Get away from him!" Her father sounded almost panicked, and she heard him step forward, though Kaidan's eyes flicked back to him and he stopped in his place. "Pan, please! He's dangerous!"
"Kaidan," she spoke gently and raised her hand, placing it gently on his chest. His skin was burning hot, and the moment she touched him his gaze moved to her, though his expression didn't alter. "I don't care about what you did." She let him see the truth in her eyes. "I already know you've done terrible things, but you're not the person you used to be, so I don't care."
She could see Kaidan struggling to bring himself under control. Every muscle in his body was tense, and he was trembling with rage. Whatever he'd done to get himself discharged it was something that haunted him, no matter how tough he acted. She knew a lot about him; that he'd been tortured mentally and psychologically, that he'd been addicted to red sand and other drugs to increase his biotics, and that he'd done horrific things for the Alliance and for Cerberus.
But she'd never asked for details; she wondered now if she should have.
With a shuddering breath he managed to reel his power in and the blue aura around him faded, though she could still see the tension in his muscles and feel the thrumming power of his biotics.
"You'll hate me," he spoke so quietly that Pandora almost didn't hear him, but he raised his hand and pressed it over hers where it rested on his chest. "What I did…” he shuddered as though he couldn't finish the sentence. “You'll hate me."
Read the full chapter here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6049996/chapters/141188842
Kaidan Alenko Appreciation Week - Day 1 (Childhood)
I’ve decided to write about my Subject Zero Kaidan for the first day, and his difficult relationship with his childhood and what Cerberus did to him. ( Art is by szajnie)
“Hey Kaidan!”
His mother’s voice.
His mother’s face.
She stared at him from the terminal screen like a ghost from the past, looking exactly as he remembered her; long black hair tied back in a bun with wisps hanging around her face, beautiful dark eyes that twinkled with a smile … or tried to. There was something in them that seemed strained. Something in her voice too. A forced cheeriness. A kind of fear.
Kaidan swallowed and continued watching the ancient vid recording.
“Your dad and I wanted to say happy birthday!” His mother grinned and held up a package wrapped in sparkling blue wrapping paper, his favourite colour as a child. “We really miss you, honey. It’s not the same without you here. Tobey misses you lots. He’s still sleeping on your bed at night and he meows all the time.” Her smile wobbled, and her eyes glistened with tears.
“Your dad and I, we’re going to try to come and see you next weekend. We know it’s hard for you in there and the teachers are doing everything they can but … just let us know you’re okay. Just send us something … please? I know you’re angry that we sent you there, but please talk to us. It’s been months.” His mother sobbed suddenly, and the glistening moisture in her eyes spilled over. “I just want to hear your voice.”
The rest is under the cut ...
Kaidan looked away, his hands clenching into tight fists at the broken sound in her voice, the pain of his nails biting into his palms steadying him, forcing back the horrible tightness welling in his chest. She’d thought he was ignoring them, that he had been getting their messages and ignoring them, when he hadn’t been receiving anything at all. He hadn’t known his parents cared for him; he’d thought his parents had dumped him at BAaT; glad to be rid of him.
He heard his father’s voice over the recording, a muffled deep sound, and his mother nodded. “Your dad wants to say hi, so I’m going to go. I love you sweetie. I love you so much and I miss you more than I can ever say. I hope we see you soon. Hopefully before this little guy arrives.” She patted her stomach below the recording, and Kaidan realised that she must have been pregnant with his little brother when this was taken.
A horrible burning sensation welled in his throat, something that tasted like grief and pain, like bitterness and rage. His friends of old, but stronger.
“Bye Kaidan, take care. Here’s your fa-“
The recording cut out and Kaidan looked away from the screen as the corrupted file message blinked steadily on it. It seemed to blink in time to the pulsing of his anger as it built inside of him. Cerberus had done this. Cerberus had taken him from his family, had convinced him that his parents no longer wanted him, had tortured and twisted him, and when his parents tried to get him out, they had killed them.
A red haze of rage fogged his mind. Other vid files waited to be viewed, a small treasure trove of unheard recordings from his parents, and in a violent gesture Kaidan brought his fist down on the terminal and deleted them. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. The pain. The loss. The rage, it all screamed inside of him. Furious. Writhing. It bit and tore at him like a live electric wire, spitting, sparking and demanding more.
He brought his fist down again and again. Until the terminal cracked. Until it sparkled. Until something popped in his wrist and pain arched up his arm to his shoulder. Until blood splattered across the broken console, coated his hand thickly, dripped over his torn knuckles, and fell in droplets over the floor. His biotics ignited in a burning ball of pure hate and danced around him, licking along his skin in tiny blue-white flames that flung loose objects in the room against the walls in a burst of energy.
“Kaidan?”
He froze, and for one horrible moment he thought the recording was starting up again, but no. That was Pandora’s voice. Pandora’s face at the door. Pandora’s biotics which brushed against his in a calming wave.
The rage inched back, withdrew inside of him, and retreated like a snarling beast, thrashing its tail as it slunk back inside of its cave. Never truly gone or tamed, but gone for now. Kaidan stared at her for a moment, saw pale blue eyes staring at him with pity and empathy, then he turned away, staggering slightly as he clutched his mangled arm to his chest.
“I’m fine,” he rasped, wincing as pain radiated up his arm in a red-hot line. “I’m-“
He froze as he felt her move closer, the warm fuzzy blur of her biotics brushing against his an instant before her arms wrapped around him. She held him tightly, her body pressed in a long line against his back. Not saying anything. Not doing anything other than holding him. Just being there.
Slowly the anger and fear faded, and a numb kind of exhaustion filled him instead.
His mother, father and the baby brother he’d never met were long gone now. Even his cat, a ginger mog who he could barely remember, was gone. The memories were painful. They hurt. And he stomped them down ruthlessly, not wanting the hideous pain they brought with them. Cerberus had taken that life from him, they’d stolen the person he might have been and made him into Subject Zero instead.
Monster. Criminal. Murderer.
Pandora’s arms tightened around him soothingly, and he relaxed again, forcing his agitation away. Cerberus has stolen one family from him, but in their ignorance, they’d given him another here on the Normandy. Pandora and her crew of misfits were as close to a family as he would ever allow himself, and yes … some of them were people he’d kill to protect.
And maybe, just maybe, it was time to start being honest with them.
He turned slowly and linked one arm around her waist, letting his head drop to her shoulder as he breathed in her familiar scent. “I’m lying kitten,” he said quietly in the silence of the room. “I’m...”
I’m scared. I’m lonely. I need help.
Kaidan hesitated for all of a heartbeat and then shook off the ridiculous notion to tell her the truth, instead he smirked. “…I’m just hurt.” He nodded at his arm. “You know my temper.”
“Yeah,” Pandora sighed sadly, and he had the odd sensation that she knew what he had been about to say, and knew he was lying. “Yeah, I know all about your temper.”
A/N - Yeeeeah - I finally got off my Reyes obsessed butt and updated my Subject Zero Kaidan fic! And someone finally realises they’re falling in love in this chapter! I hope you all love it! *hugs* Thank you so much for the continued support! (Art by szajnie)
Pandora drew in a deep breath and watched the stars shining through the canopy above her, their faint twinkling light casting a muted glow over the bed. Flushed and sweaty, she ached slightly from both the physical exertion and the position Kaidan just had her in, but she felt wonderful. A warm feeling of contentment seeped through her body as she lay curled in his arms, his biotics tingling against her skin like a familiar purr.
Kaidan was unusually quiet, and she could almost feel him thinking as he lay against her, his thoughts turning over in his head as he stroked calloused fingers up and down her arm.
"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked quietly.
He grunted and slid a leg against hers, cuddling close. "Just thinking about my family and Cerberus."
"Ah."
Kaidan seemed to think of little else these days, and it wasn't to his merit. His fury at Cerberus burned like a brilliantly lit torch within him, blinding him with hate. Miranda and Jacob had become enemies in his eyes, and he spat poison at them whenever they came near him. Other Cerberus workers fared no better, and as unfriendly and prickly as Kaidan had been before learning the truth, he had become ten time worse since.
Not that she blamed him.
Read the rest at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6049996/chapters/24129519
Or FFnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11797289/14/Through-A-Mirror-Darkly
Afterlife - Subject Zero Kaidan & Pandora NSFW oneshot
Hehe, so I wrote Subject Zero Kaidan & Pandora Shepard smut - because it was Valentine's Day and I felt like it. It's been a while and I'm quite nervous in case this is terrible. But hopefully @tlcinbflo will like it since I wrote it for her!
This is very NSFW! *blushes furiously and scurries away*
Afterlife was filled to the brim with the usual crowd of pirates, mercenaries and dancers. Music pumped through the air, the deep base beat pulsing against Pandora Shepard as she twisted long chestnut hair into a bun on the top of her head so cool air could reach her neck. Flushed and warm in the stifling air, she swung her hips rhythmically to the music and leaned into the hard, male body pressed against her back.
She felt more alive tonight than she had in weeks. The alcohol she had consumed earlier sang through her veins, keeping her happy and relaxed as the lights of the club swam brilliantly; blinking and flashing in a wave of colour and light. She gave herself over to the music as she danced, grinding and swaying against her partner.
Kaidan moved against her too, his hands sliding up her thighs, over her hips and ghosting along her belly as he pulled her flush against him and pressed his lips to the nape of her neck. A prickle of biotic energy leapt between them, the spark tingling along her nerves, causing Pandora to groan and shudder in his arms. She felt his lips curve into a smile against her neck, and he tightened an arm around her waist, the other slipping back down to play with the hem of her short black dress.
"You're so fucking sexy," he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. "I love watching you move." He chuckled darkly and squeezed her waist. "Seeing you swing those hips and that gorgeous ass."
Pandora hummed and wiggled her backside against him for good measure, smirking as Kaidan groaned and dug his nails into her thighs. The crowd was pressed tight around them, and the dancefloor was dark and full of other entwined couples dancing. No one paid them any attention as she turned in his arms and slung one leg around his waist, their groins pressed close as her dress rose perilously high ...
Read the rest at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9789161
Or FFnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12368782/1/Afterlife
Gargarin Station rocked under Pandora's feet in an almost undetectable undulating motion; the burnt-out bulk sighing and groaning like a dying beast with each step. The vacuum of space may have been silent, but in the shadowy hallways of the station where atmosphere still clung, the noises echoed around them ominously.
The rusted remains of the once great station were alive with ghosts; with whispers and cries that could have been the creaking of metal or the slide of their boots against the floor, but which sounded eerily like other people moving through the shadows around them.
A prickling sensation swept over the back of Pandora's neck, a sensation of eyes moving over her body, and for the third time in as many minutes, she paused and glanced behind her. Ghosts or not, she was certain there was someone in the dark, and she hefted the familiar weight of a gun in her hands. The rest of the ground team moved ahead without waiting for her, and she quickly caught up with them again, falling into step beside Kaidan and leaning across so he could hear her.
"Hey, I think we have someone following us," she told him, jerking her head behind them.
Kaidan glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, his expression giving nothing away, though his lips were compressed into a thin, tight line. "That's impossible," he murmured back quietly. "This place has been abandoned for years."
Read the rest here:
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6049996/chapters/21494177
FFnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11797289/13/Through-A-Mirror-Darkly
