aaaand while i was drawing that, i was thinking of an haxathan au where jon and alex are gods and somehow come to possess dan who is more or less a normal mortal?
like maybe he's somehow injured and sun god alex finds him while roaming his territory and brings him to jon (who probably just wants to put him out of his misery except alex insists they heal him, not kill him)
ooor playing into the rebel hacker thing - dan ends up a prisoner of the gods after causing a shitton of trouble due to some kind of mortal revolution against the deities and instead of killing him they sort of fall in love and decide to spare - or help - him
It was cold, dead silent and dreary. A flashlight was required to navigate the seemingly abandoned complex. And yet, there was an unshakable, invisible presence felt, one that was probably watching over this stranger.
The silence was so piercing it rang in his ears. IT seemed as though the Office hadn’t been disturbed in years.
💖 - subjectl9546 [who is currently yelling at me for sending this]
send ‘💖’ and my muse will list 3 things they like about yours.
Jonathan scowled, like the ask had personally insulted him and everything he ever cared for. Knowing he didn’t have a choice in the matter however, he reluctantly started to list some traits.
“He.....has nice hair. For a human. And his voice isn’t always grating to my ears, unless he uses it to talk.”
The Narrator scowled harder. “And I can appreciate that he has two legs he is very fast on. There. Don’t bother me with this nonsense again.”
Send me a ship and I'll tell you... (Jonathan/Hacker/Alex)
@subjectl9546
Who washes the dishes by hand and who uses the dishwasher?
Jon is the one who just can't stand messy rooms, so he'll be the first to clean the dishes, until they buy a dishwasher and make his life a bit easier.
Who cuts vegetables, fruit, etc by hand and who uses the easy to use chopper?
Vegetables? Fruits? In Haxander's house? Unheard of.
They probably only have a few speckled bananas in the fridge and maybe a few apples, and since Jon doesnt usually eat fruits, no one needs to chop it.
Who pours the cereal into the bowl first and who pours milk before the cereal?
I know this is a trick question and I don't know what answer is the correct one.
So Haxander (who are a lot more informed about cereal memes than I am) probably do it the right way, while Jon eats the cereal without any milk.
Who buys/drinks bottle water and who uses/drinks from the tap?
Usually they all drink from the tap, unless Alex and/or Dan are in a concert or otherwise outside and feel thirsty.
Who hoards disposable containers and who throws them away?
Haxander used to throw them away, since they probably have an abundance of take out containers. Jon probably starts hoarding them because they can be reused once washed.
Who buys milk in a paper carton and who buys it in a plastic jug?
Jon is enviroment friendly and buys the paper ones.
Who picks paper bags and who picks plastic bags after grocery shopping?
Jon also probably makes them use backpacks or cotton sacks instead of buying new bags every time.
Who HOARDS the plastic bags and who recycles them?
Enviromental Friendly Alien Strikes Again: and makes them recycle all their disused plastic
Who hoards salt/pepper packs, togo silverware and other togo condiments?
I have a feeling Alex does that, seeing how he must've hoarded a lot before the Parable. I dont think Jon has a heart to force him to throw out his collection, until it gets too overwhelming
Who lets the garbage can overflow before throwing it out?
Jon doesn't let the garbage overflow, he makes sure it's thrown out regulary.
Who gets annoyed when someone doesn’t use the clips for the potato chips?
Also Jon? I think he'd like chips and stuff, since they're crunchy, but once they become stale, they're kinda gross
Who uses paper plates?
The culprit is Dan. Jon and Alex hold a intervention where they explain ceramic plates are a lot cheaper.
Who uses coasters?
Jon, when they're eating fancy with guests over
Who licks the spoon/butter knife after they use it?
Alex, I’m 100% sure
Who loses the bread ties?
All of them, probably. They just use rubber bands
Who kicks the ice under the fridge when it falls on the ground?
Alex, and maybe Dan?
Who constantly cuts/burns themselves when they cook?
Haxander, I'm sure and Jon fusses constantly over them.
Who organizes the spice rack?
Jonathan
Who uses the microwave more?
Haxander use it constantly. Jon's suspicious of it ever since he accidently exploded an egg
Who stops the microwave one second before time's up?
subjectl9546 [Dan you're awful at this hateship thing. I am so sorry.] / "... Y-you know you can't fucking faze me with insults, and beating me up just makes me laugh -- there's really only one way to shut me up."
In My askbox, Send how Your Muse would subtly ask My Muse for a Kiss…
“Oh?” Jonathan arched an eyebrow at the other, amusement hidden in his eyes as he pretended not to catch on to what the Hacker was suggesting.
