Summary: Yoongi comes home to some very clumsy boys and chaos ensue. Who’s surprised?
Pairing: None
Genre: Fluff, Attempt at Humour, Yoongi-centric
Word Count: 650
Warnings: None
Note: I’m fairly new to writing, and even newer to crack, so please treat me kindly. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Lastly, enjoy!
The ride from the airport to the dorms was long. At least the car was ventilated and cool. And the ride was overall comfy, so Yoongi couldn’t really complain. In fact, the seats were so comfortable, that he found himself almost nodding off to the soothing music flowing through the stereo.
He was tired and had been up and working for the better part of the night before, but he kept himself awake by repeatedly telling his brain that his very tempting bed was waiting for him at home and that he’ll be there soon to embrace it.
He knows the guys will welcome him (the welcome ceremony had been reduced to just “hi”s and “hello”s and hugs and ordering their favourite takeout) and he’ll hug them too, retreat to his bedroom without another word, and no one will even bat an eyelash.
He didn’t have to wait for long before the driver announced that they were at their destination. He was away for a week, so he only had a fairly large duffel bag with him, and he wasted no time getting off with it, though not before silently thanking the driver.
Only a minute later, he was standing alone in the very empty hall, wondering why the heck was no one there. The guys were home, judging from the excessive noise, but it was rare that not even one of them wasn’t sprawled across the couch watching TV.
“Uh, guys?” He loudly called out. Within moments, there was loud chaos and joyous shouts of “Yoongi Hyung’s back!” and “I call dibs on the first hug!”, the last one being surprisingly from Hoseok.
The younger, as hyperactive as he was as J-Hope, was a lot calmer at home, so it was pretty clear that he had had a lot of sugar. Or as Yoongi liked to put simply, Hoseok plus Sugar is equal to J-Hope.
As the younger bounded towards him in full speed, followed by the forever hyper maknaes, his eyes widened. Even Seokjin was pretty excited. The only one who seemed calm was Namjoon. But it’s not like Yoongi had any time to notice this before the youngers practically threw themselves on him, showering him with violent affection.
Seokjin joined the mix along with Namjoon, and soon they were a loud tangle of limbs and heads.
Everything after that happened very suddenly. Someone hit Jimin’s nose, who jerked suddenly and ended up hitting Jeongguk’s elbow, which pushed him off balance, so he grabbed Taehyung’s hair in panic and stepped back on Yoongi’s bag. Because of that, he ended up tripping, taking Taehyung with him, whose hair was still in his clutches.
But between those two was Seokjin, who also fell because of Taehyung’s push from behind. Both Jimin and Yoongi jumped in surprise at this and the older man stepped on Namjoon’s foot accidentally.
The suddenness of the fall and the pain in his foot resulted in him clutching his foot and flailing and arm around while going in circles. He looked like a bird who only had a wing and a claw, or alternatively a fish out of water dancing on its tail (poor things).
He smacked Jimin on his nose (again) and hit Yoongi in his stomach with his arm. Both of them doubled over in pain. He then tripped and very gracefully collided with the shoe rack.
Everyone was sporting a paint expression by the end of the whole ordeal. Well, everyone except one.
Hoseok had somehow escaped from their chain of unfortunate events and was towering them. He had a half-amused, half horrified look on his face. “Wow.” They all looked up at him. “Kinda glad I wormed my way out of that.” He picked up a stray shoe that had ended up near his feet and kept it back in the rack.
“Looks like I’m finally home.” Yoongi sighed woefully
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin
Characters: Bangtan Boys Ensemble
Additional Tags: this is the single softest thing i have written in all my years of living, Fluff, Soft Min Yoongi | Suga, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, is kind of a snippet from a Way bigger thing i’m trying to write, wrote this ahead so i would have motivation to write what leads up to this lol, anyway, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Is Whipped, they get the least action in this but their lil action is the most meaningful, okay i’ve rambled enough
Summary:
His vision adjusts. Yoongi blinks.
Green curtains, clean windows, soft blankets, the scent of laundry detergent and home.
He’s usually careful when he’s dreaming. He’s unsure if this is a dream, but being careful slips his mind faster than it has in a while.
(yoongi, after being held in captivity for months and being saved by his wonderful lovers, wakes up at home. it’s a morning everyone’s pleased with)
The Progression Into "Shit Show" (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)
Pairing: Suga/Jimin/Taehyung
Genre: Friendship, Romance (debatable), Humor
Universe: (the best) Fake Dating AU
Rating: PG
Warnings: Swearing, multiple counts of fake cheating
Length: Oneshot ( 4169 words)
Notes: I may have written it, but @daybreakstorm deserves half the credit (or blame) for this.
{ao3 version}
Summary: It starts, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ isn’t something he immediately sees coming.
It starts, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ isn’t something he immediately sees coming. See, it all begins with his parent’s attempts to enrich his life. Which he would appreciate, had their plan to do so not been to set him up with girls in the hopes that, one day, one of them would be someone he was interested in. It isn’t like any of the people they try to ‘trick’ him into going on blind dates with are bad, by any means. In fact, he might even like some of them, under different circumstances. But he really just doesn’t like the idea of being set up with someone while on a blind double-date with his parent’s as the other couple.
So, he takes solace in the fact that his parents at least allow him choice of restaurant. Two of his close friends- Jimin and Taehyung- happen to work at to place he picks as waiters. They are the only good thing about the ‘dates’ in the end. They give him every opportunity to avoid talking to his dates, and listen to his complaints after everyone else has left. More often than not, Jimin is the one severing them, because Taehyung has a harder time pretending like he doesn’t know Yoongi, but they’ve both been his servers at one time or another, and he honestly really appreciates their presences.
On this particular day, they’re both working, and Taehyung is the server. And the ‘surprise’ guest of his parent’s is a girl a little older than Yoongi. She’s fairly nice, and cute, so Yoongi feels a little bad that she’s been dragged into this, especially since he has aproximentally zero interest in any part of this.
“Hi. I’m Yoongi and I don’t want to be here.” Yoongi shakes her hand, and she looks vaguely taken aback. Though she covers up a laugh, Yoongi’s mother smacks his arm, sighing.
“I told you not to introduce yourself like that anymore.”
“Well, it’s true.” Yoongi shrugs. He does feel a bit bad because of the disappointment clear on her face, but it isn’t his fault he’s been put in a situation he doesn’t want to be put in. It’s uncomfortable enough to go on blind dates, but to have them all be the result of his parent’s ‘tricking’ him into going on them doesn’t help at all.
He’s honestly beginning to get fed up with the whole thing. He has this feeling like he, Jimin, and Taehyung will have a long conversation after tonight. Mostly consisting of Yoongi being, yet again, exhausted with the situation. And then Jimin will pat him on the back, despite finding amusement in Yoongi’s situation.
Or, Yoongi thinks, he could come up with a reason to get out of these dinners entirely. To make his parents give up on trying to set him up.
Yoongi isn’t actually entirely sure what possesses him to do it, but he stands as Taehyung is walking past their table- halfway through dinner that night- and grabs his arm. Taehyung looks briefly surprised, before Yoongi turns back to the table, without letting go. Yoongi’s parents and ‘date’ are staring, questioning expressions on their faces. And Yoongi, without thinking, speaks the words he hopes will end this entire thing. How wrong he is.
“Mom… I’m gay, this is Taehyung, and we’ve been dating for three months.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, closing his eyes and waiting for her- or his father’s- response. There’s very little truth to the statement. In fact, only one thing in it is true. Taehyung is, well, Taehyung, but they aren’t dating and Yoongi isn’t gay. Saying so was just easier in this situation than saying he was bi.
“Oh.” His mother’s surprise is evident when Yoongi opens his eyes, and nobody seems to know what to do.
Taehyung is the first to move, and Yoongi really wishes it had been Jimin instead as soon as he does. Taehyung leans against Yoongi, free hand on his chest, looking like he’s just discovered sunshine.
“I thought this day would never come.” Yoongi internally groans, but doesn’t last long. Taehyung grabs Yoongi’s face and Yoongi has approximately a tenth of a second to realize what’s happening before Taehyung is- far too enthusiastically- kissing him. He can’t exactly act like this is strange, since he just said they were dating, and tries to control his expression. When they break apart, he begins contemplating life while Taehyung turns to Yoongi’s family. Somewhere in the corner of his vision, Yoongi can see Jimin trying not to laugh and filming the whole thing. He’ll deal with that later.
“Well, this is a surprise.” Yoongi’s mother says, clearly in shock.
“I really didn’t think this would happen.” Taehyung breathes a relieved sigh, griping Yoongi’s hand. “He was really worried about what you would think, so we kept it a secret until now. He really values your opinions.”
“Oh, Yoongi, you know we wouldn’t- that we don’t- mind!”
“Y-yeah,” Yoongi manages.
“Well, we haven’t been dating long. We only even met last December.” Taehyung smiles, leaning more against a frozen Yoongi. “It was a sunny day-”
“In December?” Yoongi’s abandoned date asks, eyebrow raised.
“Well, I guess it technically wasn’t sunny, but it felt like it. After all, he lit up my world.” Yoongi internally screams, wishing Taehyung would shut up. It’s helping, sure, but he’s embarrassed enough as it is. Not to even mention all the people staring. “Of course he told me to keep it quiet, at first, because he holds you in such high regards. And how could I say no, when he was so worried? He even made sure all the dates were here, so I wouldn’t worry. I wouldn’t, anyway, because I trust him, but it was really sweet of him, don’t you think? Oh but… it was a bit hard to watch all of them, you know? I guess he just coudn’t stand this either, while I was right there.”
“Yeah that… that about sums it up.” Yoongi nods, gripping Taehyung’s hand tighter. To his credit, Taehyung manages not to react to Yoongi’s attempts to break his hand.
Yoongi, once away from the situation, takes to screaming externally. Hoseok- his good friend- laughs from where he sits on the ground of the dance studio they’re in. Yoongi had gone to visit him- the rest of their friends all joining- upon processing exactly what he’d done. As it turns out, he already knew. Jimin already sent the video of the whole thing to their entire friend group.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Yoongi sighs, laying on the ground. Hoseok, to his credit, pats his shoulders and attempt to stifle his laughter. The others are less supportive.
“You’re fucked,” Namjoon says, simply. When Yoongi glares, he shrugs. “Do you even remember any of the story Tae told?”
“...No.” Yoongi glances over at the man himself, who shrugs.
“We met on a sunny May day?”
“December,” Jimin corrects, shaking his head.
“Well shit.” Yoongi sighs.
“This is going to be a disaster,” Seokjin adds, looking over Hoseok’s shoulder. The other is in the process of saving the video of the incident to every possible place. Yoongi doesn’t have the energy to stop him. “And I’m going to watch this video every day for the the next year.”
“Same.” Hoseok knocks shoulders with Seokjin, while Yoongi groans.
“You have anything to add, Jungkook?” Jimin asks, looking to the only of them yet to speak. Instead of responding verbally, Jungkook makes a face that immediately gets laughter in response. And imitation of the surprised expression on Yoongi’s face right before Taehyung went for the kiss.
“I’m murdering Jungkook.” Yoongi sits up, and Jungkook laughs, jumping to his feet.
“But you light up my world!”
“Definitely killing him.”
In the end, his friends aren’t even 5% helpful. The only one at all useful is Jimin, who remembers the facts of Taehyung and Yoongi’s fake relationship far better than either of them do.
It isn’t obvious at first, that this will lead into the ‘shit show’ state of life Yoongi is headed towards. In fact, it works out fine at first. Yoongi gets out of any more blind dates, and all his mother ever requires as an excuse for other events is that he has dates with Taehyung. Taehyung, for his part, insists on taking a bunch of pictures- in different places and with different clothes- so Yoongi has ‘proof’ whenever he needs it. Jimin, their savior, helps them keep track of their story and, in turn, Yoongi continues to bring his parents the the restaurant he works at, while Jimin is working, to make sure Jimin gets more tips. It isn’t much, and Jimin still complains about the whole thing, but it's something.
“How did I get roped into this?”
“If I have to suffer, so do you,” Yoongi says one day, hours before he and Taehyung are supposed to go to said restaurant with Yoongi’s parents. Jimin is, once again, going to be there for support- it’s much easier this way, than the time where they have to discretely text him during conversations- but isn’t happy about it.
“What about Tae? He’s not suffering.”
“Oh he is.” Yoongi nods, mostly to himself. “I mean he is trying to play a role without remembering literally anything.”
“Ah,” Jimin nods, “yeah. He’s probably almost stressed as me.”
“We’re all stressed.”
“Your fault.”
It really doesn’t seem like it’s leading into a downward spiral, at first. But over the next few months, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep their story straight, even with Jimin’s help. All three of them are beyond stressed about getting caught. Which lead’s Yoongi’s no good, awful, traitor of a brain to think that his next idea is a good one. To further deepen the plot of nonsense that they’ve created, by adding a cheating story line.
Yoongi would like to personally develop cloning technology so that he can fight himself. As is, he can do nothing but accept what he’s doing, when he stands, grabbing Jimin in a manner similar to what he did when Taahyung became his fake boyfriend.
The thought Yoongi had was that he somehow needs to get out of the fake relationship. That he needs some way to keep them from this continued cycle of stress. It just happened that the ‘perfect idea’ that came into his mind first, was this. “I can’t keep this up anymore, Taehyung.”
“What?” Taehyung’s surprise is genuine, which at the very least makes the whole thing more convincing.
“I’m cheating on you with Jimin.”
“So am I!” Taehyung shouts, standing. Yoongi stares, Taehyung looks surprised with himself, Jimin looks ready to die- Yoongi feels that way too- and Yoongi’s parents are horrified. Finally, Yoongi’s mother speaks.
“I knew something was up! That cheater was making eyes at the waiter every time we come here!” She motions to Taehyung and Jimin. Yoongi takes a moment to figure out where that came from- they stare at Jimin in order to confirm their stories, a lot- before clearing his throat.
“But I’m the one cheating…”
“Uh… listen…” Jimin starts, but shrinks under the glares of Yoongi’s parents. Yoongi has only a second to feel bad, before Taehyung breaks down. Taehyung leans over to laugh-cry into his food, shoulders shaking. This entire things is a disaster. Like standing in a train wreck. As if to make things worse, Jungkook is there. At the other end of the restaurant, where he was serving a table- having taken Taehyung’s shifts, when the other started going with Yoongi on ‘dates’ more often- filming this situation. Yoongi just knows this is going to get back to their friends again, and that makes the whole thing all the worse.
Jimin takes a step to be slightly behind Yoongi, hiding from the latter’s family. Yoongi isn’t sure what to do. Even if his plan was dumb, he hadn’t expected Taehyung to somehow make it even worse by making them both into cheaters. One would have been enough!
“I can’t believe this.” Yoongi voices his thoughts, knowing it fits no matter which version of the situation someone is aware of. “I can’t believe you, Taehyung.”
“You’re doing it too!” Taehyung takes a deep, wheezing breath as he stands up straight. His hands come up to wipe tears from his eyes, and Yoongi has the vague thought that he should probably wipe them away. So he reaches over to do that, before realizing what he’s doing and halfheartedly slapping Taehyung.
“This is ridiculous!”
“I just love you both!” Taehyung says, throwing his hands up. Behind Yoongi, Jimin makes a startled noise. “I think we should bre-eeee- be together. All of us.”
Yoongi curses Taehyung for not going with, “I think we should break up,” mentally. Then he stares Taehyung down, incredulous. “What.”
“We clearly all like each other, let’s all date.”
Jimin turns, pressing his face into his hands, and muffles a scream. Yoongi stares for one second, then two, before dropping to his knees and slams his face into the table. “Jesus Christ.”
Their savior this time comes in the form of Jungkook, who informs them all that they’re disturbing the other customers, and asks them to leave. Yoongi’s parents, once they’re outside, immediately turn to Yoongi, silently wondering what to do about this situation, and Yoongi just shakes his head.
“I- uh- I’ll have to talk to those two about… this. Sorry mom, dad. I didn’t really… I didn’t think this would happen.”
One comforting hug later, Yoongi finds himself in Jimin’s apartment with Taehyung and Jimin.
“Well… now what?”
“Now, apparently, we’re all cheating on each other.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, pressing himself into Jimin’s couch.
“I can’t believe you dragged me into this, too.” Jimin huffs, covering his eyes with his arm. “Honestly.”
“Sorry.”
“And you!” Jimin points at Taehyung. “What the hell?”
“I panicked!”
“Clearly Yoongi was trying to escape this situation, not make it more convoluted.”
“Either I tell them we all broke up, or we become a fake poly relationship.” Yoongi sighs, sitting up. “Honestly at this point it’s up to you, I’m fucked either way.”
“I don’t know,” Taehyung starts, “is it bad this is kinda fun?”
“Tae!” Jimin smacks him, halfheartedly. “You turned me into a home wrecker, you know that?!”
“We could fix the story, so you look better.”
Yoongi watches them, silently, as they share looks. A silent discussion about the situation. They’re his friends, so he’s admittedly too fond of them to be entirely too mad. Taehyung was trying to help, and Jimin hadn’t done anything except be helpful, even though he wasn’t supposed to be involved. Whatever they want to do, he’ll go along with it. Part of him- a terrible, traitorous part- has to admit that, despite it being a disaster, the whole thing was kind of fun.
“I think we should do it.” Taehyung grins.
“Sure, why not.” Jimin shrugs.
They explain the new situation to the others, the next day. They’d already seen Jungkook’s video, so they expected something, but they’re all surprised that they’ve decided to continue the fake relationship.
“How do you fuck up this badly and keep going?” Namjoon shakes his head. Somewhere behind him, Jungkook is having trouble breathing, and is crying, from laughter. Hoseok isn’t much better, either.
Seokjin buries his face in his hands and mutters, “idiots,”’ before sighing. “After all this, you’re really going to keep this going?”
“I’m in too deep to quit now.” Yoongi shrugs.
“You used to be a logical one in this group.”
“Who’s gonna keep track of your nonsense now?” Hoseok asks, when he’s finally done laughing at them. All eyes turn to Jungkook, the only worker of the restaurant left that isn’t part of it, but he shakes his head.
“No.” Jungkook continues this adamant refusal until they give it up.
Their new story goes like this: Taehyung was in a relationship with Jimin first. They were together before Taehyung started dating Yoongi, and it wasn’t until a month into their relationship that Yoongi started cheating on Taehyung, with Jimin. Jimin, for his part, had known Taehyung was in another relationship, because they had an open one, so he thought the same was true for Yoongi. Finding out that he was the other man from their perspectives had been a shock to Jimin.
This is the story they go with, the next time Yoongi has dinner with his parents in that restaurant again.
“Okay, so we said Taehyung started cheating first…” Jimin reviews, before the next time they have to see them. They were already weary enough of Jimin and Taehyung, without them getting information wrong.
“Really, wasn’t it Yoongi?” Jungkook offers, from his spot a few feet away. He’s not supposed to be part of the conversation, and they all know better than to trust him- he’s a chaotic force, truly- so they ignore him.
“Anyway, Tae started cheating first,” Jimin repeats. “He was with me before he even started dating Yoongi, Jungkook.”
“If you say so.” Jungkook shrugs. “That really doesn’t put any of you in a good light.”
“There isn’t a good light in this situation.” Yoongi glares.
“Not even the truth would make us look good at this point.” Taehyung pouts. “We have to be bad people.”
“Hey, you wanted to keep this up. You don’t get to pout about it.” Yoongi pokes Taehyung’s cheek, and the other’s pout deepens. Jimin laughs, pinching Taehyung’s other cheek.
“It’s okay, we know you’re not bad.”
“But my boyfriends parent’s don’t.”
“Yeah, but they’re the parent’s of a cheater, anyway. You can’t even trust your boyfriend.” Jimin shrugs. “So what does it matter?”
“Good point. Yoongi is the one who cheated on me, his parents shouldn’t judge me."
“You cheated on me first.” Yoongi kicks at Taehyung’s legs, and the other makes a show of pretending to be hurt. “I can’t believe you, making me into your mistress and then pretending like I’m the bad guy. How could you treat Jimin like this?”
“I know I started this but…” Jimin glances at Jungkook, looking for solidarity.
“...You guys remember this isn’t real, right?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at them. From next to him, Seokjin shakes his head at the group.
“Shut up!” Yoongi and Taehyung, in a rare moment of unity, shout.
This time Yoongi brings both Jimin and Taehyung, and they sit at a table further to the back of the restaurant. Jungkook, despite not agreeing to help them any, is their waiter, and that gives them a small relief, knowing Jungkook is aware of everything.
“So…” Yoongi’s mother starts, frowning at the groups, “you’ve decided to go along with… this.”
“Well…” Yoongi glances shortly at the other two, before staring down at the table, unable to face his mother. “There’s a reason I was with Taehyung to start with, and why Jimin was- why I was doing what I was. I mean… we all agree we were all acting terribly, but at the end of the day we all care about each other.”
“So we’re going to make this work.” Taehyung adds, when Yoongi quiets. Jimin, on Yoongi’s other side, nods.
“At least we know to be more open with each other from now on!”
As time passes, they fall into their roles more easily. At some point, they start spending more time together- just the three of them- even when it isn’t necessary. Lunches, coffee, movies, ect. They all end up doing these things together, even when it doesn’t effect the perception of their fake relationship. After all, if they act like they’re dating enough, it’ll be easy enough to hide the truth.
That’s the theory, at least.
“Hey, guys,” Hoseok greets them when they all file into his studio, after his last class for the day. Jimin and Taehyung greet him in return, enthusiastically, and Yoongi gives him a hug. “How’s the fake relationship going?”
“The what?” Taehyung glances over, confused for a second. “Oh, right, it’s fake.”
“How- how do you forget that?!” Hoseok glances at Jimin, who just shrugs. Then he turns to Yoongi, likely hoping for him to have the same reaction as Hoseok himself. Instead, Yoongi just shrugs as well. “What is wrong with you three?”
“At this point if we didn’t believe it we’d just ruin the whole thing.”
“That- I don’t-” Hoseok stops, looking up at the arrival of Seokjin. “Please, talks some sense into the kids.”
“What did they do this time?” Seokjin asks, at the same times as Yoongi mutters about being older than Hoseok.
“They just said that if they didn’t believe it, they’d ruin their fake relationship.”
“Okay, hold on.” Seokjin sighs, rubbing his temple. “Is the relationship real or not?”
Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi all share a look, before Yoongi shrugs. Taehyung copies him, and Seokjin gives another sigh. Finally, Jimin answers, “I think it might actually be real at this point.”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe the three of you.”
“Neither can we,” Yoongi offers. Taehyung, beside him, just laughs.
Before he knows it, the shit-show that is Min Yoongi’s life has taken a turn from completely ridiculous to manageable. Some part of him still isn’t entirely sure how he ended up in a polygamous relationship with two of his friends. That same part, also isn’t entirely sure when fake turned into real. It wasn’t like much had actually changed, between them. Just, somewhere along the line, Yoongi had realized that he actually enjoyed their dates for being dates. Enjoyed the most real parts of their fake relationship, and ended up falling for the false idea himself. Then, somewhere along the way, the same happened to the other two, and none of them did anything to stop it.
Before he knows it, it’s been a year since he announced to his parents that he was dating Taehyung, in an attempt to escape blind dates.
“Hey, I guess it’s our anniversary.” Yoongi hums. Beside him- sideways, with his legs thrown over Yoongi’s- Jimin frowns.
“Actually…”
“What?”
“I mean, you did say you were dating Taehyung for three months at that point, so you’ve already far missed it.”
“Wait-” Taehyung interrupts, leaning against Yoongi and looking at Jimin- “do we celebrate our actual anniversary, or when we told Yoongi’s mom?”
“Actually, are we talking your and Taehyungs,” Jimin motions between Yoongi and Taehyung, “yours with me, mine with Taehyung, or the day all three of us decided to date? And then when did the fake stop being part of it?” There’s a significant pause, where they all consider it.
“How about… we just celebrate on new years?” Taehyung offers.
“Yeah, fuck it.” Yoongi nods.
“Good with me.”
Years later, Yoongi would like to think he could streamline the story. Remove all the entirely embarrassing and unnecessarily nonsense that came along with the whole situation. Unfortunately, Yoongi’s boyfriends aren’t so willing to let him forget the situation. Though he doesn’t think Taehyung has any right to act like he wasn’t the biggest part of the nonsense.
“Hey guys, remember when I was so great that both of you cheated on each other with me?” Jimin asks, one day, while they’re sitting on Yoongi’s couch watching a movie. Currently the main couple is arguing over one of them cheating.
“Pretty sure Taehyung was the one cheating on you with me.”
“I’m pretty sure Yoongi is the only one anyone cheated with, actually,” Taehyung adds, frowning.
“No, wait, I was cheating on you with Jimin, too, remember?’
Somewhere to the side, Seokjin sighs. The rest of their friends having been ignored until that moment. “You guys know that wasn’t real, right?”
“At this point I’m not sure they do,” Jungkook adds. Taehyung throws some pieces of popcorn at Jungkook, for that, and Yoongi gives a shout about having to clean that up later.
“Anyway, in the end you both chose me, so who’s the real winner here?” Taehyung turns back to Jimin and Yoongi.
“Pretty sure that isn’t how this works at all.” Yoongi shakes his head.
“But really, what is ‘real’ in this world?” Namjoon hums, considering it. “At what point did fake and real switch?”
“If you don’t stop your twenty-three year old midlife crisis you’re gonna find out how real my hands are. When I hit you. It’s a threat.” Seokjin raises one of his hands, but Namjoon seems unperturbed.
It started, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ and then into ‘a worthwhile disaster’ was neither slow, nor something he saw coming. But it might have been worth it, in the end.
“But remember Taehyung shouting, “so am I,” when Yoongi said he was cheating on him?” Jungkook asks, grinning.
“Iconic.” Jimin nods, laughing.
“I panicked!”
“Relatable.” Yoongi grins when Taehyung pouts again. “Don’t pout you know we’re just kidding.”
Pairing: None (Yoongi Centric)
Universe: Crime AU
Rating: pg13
Length: Oneshot (2159 words)
Warnings: Cursing, Violence, Blood and stuff, general crime au stuff.
Summary: Yoongi trusts them, which is why he goes even if they don’t need his help.
25
Yoongi sighs, rests his head in his arms, and looks over the papers in front of him. Ransom notes. Laughter is almost coming up from the back of his thoughts, he’s not worried about anyone except the people that took them.
They’d probably kill the kidnappers before he gets there.
22
Seokjin seems like such a nice person. Smiles softly and motions carefully. Almost like he isn’t a weapons dealer who’s dealt with enough people that he doesn’t hesitate to kill. Maybe if they looked closely, at the scares over his hands, burn marks and cuts just past the cuff of his sleeves they wouldn’t end up in the grave.
He counts up money as he watches Yoongi take the weapons crates. They’d been in business long enough to have at least some trust.
24
The kid promises a good shot. Jungkook rolls his eyes, hands the rifle to him, and he and Yoongi watch as he sets up the shot. Jungkook’s really expressive, obvious and in attention, so much that people don’t realize how easily he can slip away. When they miss the shot Jungkook pulls the gun away and makes it himself.
He doesn’t even looks back when Yoongi leaves the kid behind. It isn’t his problem anyway.
20
Namjoon isn’t very subtle. Probably why even the cops know where to find him. But he doesn’t leave enough evidence to catch him and he wont talk if he is. Hands over drugs he promises the quality of while avoiding them himself. Paying Yoongi to take out the competition and ruling his market.
He breaks one of Yoongi’s crew members legs when they try to steal from him without even Yoongi’s knowledge and Yoongi can’t bring himself to care.
23
Jimin is all smiles, graceful movements and small stature. He seems so sweet, nice, an easy target. Yoongi knows too many people that make that mistake. Jimin will laugh in your face as he breaks your arm, if you cross him. Then feel bad about it for only a second later.
He isn’t phased when Yoongi asks him to kill someone. Just asks how much he’s going to get for it.
21
Hoseok is like a ball of sunshine and sugar. He’ll grin, laugh, hop his way around words until you think you were agreeing with him to begin with. Will protect his workers to death, and slit the throat of anyone that tries to break the clear lines he gives about them.
He had taken the gun from Yoongi’s hand and fired before the man in front of them before they could finish calling Hoseoks worker whores.
23
Taehyung seems so oblivious. Sometimes even Yoongi forgets how clearly he knows what’s going on around him. How quickly he goes from telling jokes to slamming your head into the cement for money or security.
He doesn’t even blink when Yoongi tells him he needs someone killed. He just smiles and asks who he needs to kill.
19
Yoongi breathes a sighs, rolls his eyes at the threat rolling of their tongues. Too young, too small, too weak to lead them. Not good enough to be their boss. Too lazy to keep things together. He takes one step towards them. They move to attack.
He needs only a second to shatter one’s knee-caps point a gun at the other. He’s not going to lead them, that’s for sure, when they’re dead.
25
Yoongi pulls himself out of his chair. Makes his way out the doors, and decides to go after them just in case. They were his friends, after all.
24
Jungkook spits in his captors face, distracting them while he escapes the ropes tying his arms behind his back. Did they really think a few poorly tied knots were going to keep him trapped? They didn’t even bother with his legs. He’s going to be out quickly.
23
Taehyung and Jimin kick one leg each of the captor that stand in from of them. He stumbles back and they manage to get to their feet. Even if their arms are still tied, they’re ready to fight their ways out.
22
Seokjin cries. The captor that goes too close to tell him to shut up realizes quickly that it was fake when Seokjin headbutts him. Seokjin doesn’t flinch when he’s hit, just knows he’s pushing the right buttons to make them angry. Angry people are easier to predict.
21
The smile never leaves Hoseoks face. They hit him a couple times in the hopes to knock it away but he just keeps grinning. He knows whats going to come to them. Especially if they keep their weapons out all the time.
20
Namjoon sighs. Leans back against the pillar he’s tied to, and glance around the room. Observes his personal body-guard/captor and his clear preference for his left side. What a stupid man. He’s going to be way to easy for even Namjoon to get away from.
19
Yoongi pulls the trigger before the guy outside even realizes he’s there, ready to storm the place if he really needs too. He takes a key and heads inside. Yoongi vaguely wonders if they really need him to come rescue them.
18
Gunshots are a good distraction, Jungkook grins. Kicks the captor in front of him back, and pulls harshly at his bonds. The rope breaks and he rubs his wrists. He’s going to need bandages for that.
17
Jungkooks captor yells, right after a gunshot rings out, and Jimin jumps their own captor. Taehyung runs across the room, for the weapons their captor threatened to use on them, and cuts himself free while Jimin pushes their captors head into the ground with his foot.
16
Seokjin watches his captor rush across the room to lock the door. Keep the noises of escape from making it to them. What an idiot. Seokjin pulls at the rope around his arms and it falls free. He’d been messing with for a good hours, he should hope it would.
15
Hoseok kicks the gun from his captors hands when he aims it at the door. He looks at Hoseok, anger lighting his eyes, and Hoseok shrugs. They make a move to grab their weapon and Hoseok kicks their feet out from under them.
14
Namjoon stands, scuttles his way around the pillar and kicks the window opposite him. Really, leaving him so close to one was a horrible idea. The shattering glass may get his watchers attention, but it als gets him sharp glass. A few cuts in exchange for freedom are nothing.
13
Jungkook disarms his captor and shoots them with their own gun. Yoongi blinks, watches Jungkook turn to him and wave when Yoongi pushes through the door to the room Jungkook is in.
Yoongi really didn’t need to do anything, he figured. They didn’t need words to agree they were going to the others next.
12
Beaten half to death, Jimin and Taehyung’s captor begged for mercy. He didn’t finish a sentence before a shot from a gun neither of them held rang out and the man bled from his skull.
“Thanks.”
“You’re late.”
11
Seokjin hides behind a pillar as he captor aims a gun at it. He knows better than to try to take someone with a weapon and more strength than him head-on. But he knows he wont need to. The shots that ring out prove him right.
10
Hoseok slams his foot into the back of his captors head. Over and over until he’s sure he’ll have a proper chance of escape. He doesn’t really need to, he discovers, when the door is pushed open and the other untie him anyway.
9
Namjoon stabs a shard of glass into his captors face when they get close enough. He know he could wait, it’s clear by the sounds that they others a free. But he sort of wants the satisfaction of freeing himself. They seem to understand as much when they find him.
8
Yoongi remembers being young and being too busy learning how to run the “family business” to have many friends. He probably didn’t have meals with anyone until he was a full grown adult.
He takes everyone out to get food after their escape and the clean up.
7
Yoongi remembers meeting Seokjin. Their families weapons dealer betrays Yoongi when he takes over and Yoongi was so angry he had killed the man before he could come up with any excuses. Seokjin had been there to take his place, though, all smiles an gentle movements.
Seokjin tells the others to be more careful, despite being caught himself, and Yoongi laughs. Seokjin was a good choice of replacement.
6
Yoongi remembers meeting Jungkook. A one-time hire, in theory, who was a sniper by trade but generally a good killer. Yoongi had hired him because he was too busy to do it himself, and his crew was in shambles. Jungkook did the job and left nothing behind to get caught.
Jungkook laughs, mouth full of food, and tries to hid his face at something one of the others said. Yoongi smiles, keeping Jungkook around was a good idea.
5
Yoongi had a lot of contacts. But not many people on his side that he didn’t have to pay way too much. A corrupt cop leads him to Namjoon, who’s smiles and subtle sells. Yoongi asks him to join him, but Namjoon refuses. Would rather continue to run his own operation. But he offers help.
Namjoon grins, head on his hand, and watches the others. Yoongi shakes his head, tells Namjoon to stop looking so creepy, and thinks. Namjoon had been a great help, through the years.
4
Yoongi used to think his crew could handle fights. Fighting should be the thing they would have in spades. But without their guns, it turned out, a lot of them weren’t up to par. So Jimin showed up, offered assistance for a shocking low price. How could he have said no?
Jimin wheezes, laughter turning to his breathing, and buries his face in his arms on the table. Yoongi had once thought Jimin was worth way more than he asked for, but whatever kept him around.
3
Yoongi remembered wanting nothing to do with Hoseoks business. Found the whole thing horrible. Then he met some of the mans competition, heard them talk terribly about Hoseok for being too nice and careful with his workers.
Hoseok tells a joke, grins even when the others groan, and steals food from Jimin’s plate. Yoongi rolls his eyes. Hoseok was probably the only person in his business Yoongi could stand.
2
Yoongi once thought that Jimin was trying to fool him, when he brought Taehyung in, as he replacement when he was too busy. Yoongi hadn’t ever thought much of Taehyung, even when he completed his jobs, until he actually saw him in action.
Taehyung looks rather confused at something Namjoon says, and once he figures it out, looks rather offend. Yoongi shakes his head, in some ways its still easy to forget how much help Taehyung had given him.
1
Yoongi was a kid, when he started learning how to run things. Met so many business associates that would later betray him when he took over. Sometimes he wonders if he could ever really trust the people around him now.
But he trusts them, now. Because they’d done nothing but help him, even when they easily could have gotten rid of him. When his crew was falling apart or when he was running out of supplies. There they were. To help, to support him.
0Seokjin waves as he walks off. Yoongi tells Namjoon to go with him, because Seokjin wobbles on his hurt legs.
Jungkook tells Yoongi he’ll see him tomorrow as leaves. Jimin grins, throws an arm around Yoongi’s shoulders as he say’s goodbye, and then chases after Jungkook.
Taehyung waves, walks backwards as long as he can, as he leaves. Hoseok tells Yoongi he’s got work to do, and that Yoongi owes him for the whole situation as he leaves.
Yoongi goes home, smiles as he drifts to sleep, and thinks that he made good choices with his associates.
Prompt: Yoongi is overworked and tired and accidentally takes his anger out on another member who was only trying to help.
There was a shocked and hurt silence as Yoongi realized what he’d done and the others let what he’d said sink in. He hadn’t meant it, that he knew almost as soon as the words had fallen from his mouth.
“Yoongi?”
“I’m sorry.” He pushed his way passed them, out of the door and pushed himself against his rooms door as it closed.
Seokjin had only been trying to help, that morning when he forced Yoongi to take a break and rest even knowing he still had a tone for work to do. Taehyung had only been trying to help when had burst into the room while Yoongi was writing with snacks and distracted Yoongi from his work. Jungkook had only been trying to help when tried showing Yoongi what he was doing wrong in their practice. Jimin had just been trying to help when he asked Yoongi if he wanted any help and practically forced himself into the practice. Namjoon had only been trying to help when he looked over Yoongi’s work and tried to give advice.
Hoseok had only been trying to help when he told Yoongi he seemed overworked. Yet Yoongi, upset with everything and tired, snapped.
“That’s because I’m actually working!” Hoseok had frozen and the others had snapped their heads around to face the two. Yoongi barely registered what he said after that, but Hoseok had looked more hurt and the others were suddenly much closer, trying to separate the two.
Yoongi should have said more to apologize, but everything was starting to catch up to him and he couldn’t take it. The guilt wasn’t helping him calm down and his breathing was difficult.
“Yoongi?” The knocking against the door he was leaned against startled him.
“Yeah?” He mumbled, and he hear Seokjin sigh.
“Are you okay?”
“Me?”
“Hoseok already say’s he’s fine.” Seokjin said, as he slowly pushed open the door and Yoongi moved away from it. “I know you’re stressed, I didn’t realize it was this bad. You can tell us that, you know?”
“Sorry.”
“Get some rest, okay? And then aplogoize properly to Hoseok in the morning.” Seokjin was almost scarily calm and warm about the whole thing that Yoongi could only nod. He’d expected a lecture.
