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Best part of the News is Those Wacky Headlines

The messages can be an endless source of entertainment. The best thing about them is often the headlines. Most of the time, I could care less about the actual history. The best part is the headline. What I do not like the big stories of the day. To be honest, I could care less Mel Gibson and if he danced naked on a police car while having sex with the skull of Moses or whatever it is that they say he did. Of course, I'm not Jewish. Nevertheless, had offended Protestants I do not think I would care either. If Mel's words, my faith and abuse me that much then, of course, it's time may reconsider my own beliefs.No shake it, I enjoyed the news story I saw yesterday, as India is to hunt on some kind of primate handlers monkeys from the S-Bahn. Apparently, monkeys on the train and was always making angry faces and dark to passengers caused a lot of problems. So, there is another kind of primate with a name I can not remember that scares the monkey. So they got a handler of one of these creatures patrol the trains. I love a good story monkey. When I told a friend yesterday, is a story with a monkey or a Monkee necessarily funny. My favorite part was a quote at the end of the primate handlers. "There are too many monkeys," he is quoted as saying. I think that just about says it all, right? How can we focus on Hezbollah, if there are too many monkeys? Is it bad that there are too many monkeys? Make them throw their hut, but then again so many frat boys and NASCAR fans, it's so hard to say which should be at the exclusion from the party. My other favorite headline yesterday was "MANN panties on his head stealing FUDGE." Man I did not even bother the rest that you read. Regardless of the history, it is impossible to play with the joy of reading that headline. This morning I saw a headline that is similar in this. He says, "Nude man leads police to POT FARM." You can always count on a headline and story about some dude, at the end of the naked and talking to police, to bring a smile to my face. I wonder what happened to these guys. What do you think that one gets so whacked out of your skull that you suddenly feel the need to get naked and walk around the neighborhood? I have a lot of journalism classes when I was in college. One of the most feared was a newspaper editor class. It was a required class and the teacher was a real hard-ass. He was still working for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, and he took things too seriously. We had to scour the newspapers every morning and try to find mistakes and things that obviously slipped by some editors finger. We have learned how to construct a story and how to create a headline. The problem is that sometimes writers try too clever with headlines and it ends up looking strange. The time when you see it most, when a semicolon is used. I have never understood the proper use of a semicolon. We take out the garbage, the mayor or something is what you see in the newspaper. Of course, the mayor of the garbage is taken out or is the mayor leading some new initiative to clean up the streets or go to actual waste or crime or whatever. I've been a fan of the regular column called "News of the Weird." It was a great thing to read if you were doing a part-time radio show. I loved reading these stories. My favorite were the dumb criminal stories. You know the story if the criminals would rob a bank, and then his checkbook left behind with his address printed on the checks? I loved that. Or the criminal who would rob a store while wearing a mask and then step right outside the door of the establishment in the eyes of the people he just robbed, and take off the mask. I wonder what people think they can with crime in those days. For Crying Out Loud people dig it, the dead have done for almost a hundred years or more and tests on their bones to determine how they died. Not long ago they took a look at King Tut's yet to see whether he was murdered. So, really, even if you think you have with a crime, in all probability you do not have. United Kingdom only solved the murder of a twelve year old boy, something like twenty years ago died. So, if the messages you get down and you are sick to death, like me, why Tom Cruise hides his daughter (oh, am I not know because they want to protect the baby is not bombarded by the press?) Or, Mel Gibson did what or how the third world war is progressing that look goofy just for the headlines. As I mentioned, you do not even want to read the whole story. Just read the headlines. It's like reading a punchline or something. The real world is far too depressing anyway. You already know that without looking at all messages.

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