Hey pack, can someone come over and turn off my lights for me, please?
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
I turned on the lights to take a picture of my bag, but my spine decided to break when I sat back down and now idk how I'm gonna get back up to turn them off
Shits been horribly rough the past 8 months, but everything is going so amazingly rn. This is the happiest I've been in a very long time
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
My sister in law is genuinely the best person ever! She matches my brother's personality and life style so well. She's the most kind, supportive, talented and interesting people out there. I'm also gaining 2 other sisters too (by technicality) of which I love dearly. They're all so sweet and funny and just great to be around. And her parents are amazing as well (her mom used to be our math teacher lol).
Idk, I'm just so lucky to have them, my brother included. He even pulled me aside just to make sure I wasn't being misgendered
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
And yea!! as an update to one of my previous posts, I was prescribed T!!! The appointment was super quick and easy, and both the nurse and practitioner were so incredibly sweet and kind, and could tell how happy and excited I was! My dad tried to pick it up for me today so I could take my first dose before my brother's wedding, but, the pharmacy is currently arguing with insurance so, I couldn't get it. I (Paws Crossed) should hopefully be able to start tomorrow or on Monday, though!
Honestly, I never thought I'd be the type of therian that preforms Quadrobics. For a while I honestly thought quads were cringy and a surefire way of determining someone's validity as a nonhuman. But, as I've done more research and saw the joy it brought other Nonhumans, I began to feel jealous. They all look so free, happy, and confident. I wanted to be like them
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
The problem, though, is that I have unmedicated chronic pain. Even just laying in bed is painful if I don't constantly flip myself around like rolling hotdog. So, I never really entertained the idea of doing quads all that much. Instead, I daydreamed about what it would feel like to be on all fours, to be feral.
But, for the past month or so, I've been getting better at understanding that, no matter what I do, I will always be in pain. And if I want to have any sort of quality of life, I need to learn how to be okay with that. I can't just rot in bed all the time as a way to avoid being in even worse pain, you know? If I have to be in pain, at least it's on MY terms.
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
So, today I finally made the decision to begin learning Quadrobics. I set a bunch of rules to make sure I don't push myself too far or do something that could lead me to injury. I must stretch, hydrate, and asses my pain/energy levels before I even THINK of my front paws touching the floor.
I watched a bunch of different tutorials, stretched, and began learning how to walk. And it was... Interesting. I won't lie, it was extremely fun and affirming. But, it was also really scary and exhaustive. I underestimated how difficult it would be. I was unbalanced, my posture was all off, it was hard to breathe, and the whole time I felt like I was just falling. Just 30 seconds of walking was exhausting. I would do one lap around my basement, and pause for a few minutes to catch my breath. Then do another loop.
In total, I believe I completed about 10 loops today, and improved each time. But, there is still a LOT of learning and improvement I need to do. It's probably gonna take me a few months to feel confident and comfortable in my walk. I need to learn how to adjust my speed, to trust that I won't fall, to position myself more comfortably so I can breathe properly, and allow myself to slowly get into things so my heart doesn't explode lol
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
All-in-all I am excited to start this journey and to have a new way to express my alterhumanity! It's gonna be a very slow process of building muscle, memory, rhythm, and posture. But, I feel hopeful! My pain/discomfort levels are good, and I feel excited to do more!
I don't know if I'm ever going to post videos of me doing quads as I do not have a mask and would like to remain anonymous. But, if you all find this interesting I may document my journey here through text!
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯⋆ᓚᘏᗢ⋆♡⋆ᗢᘏᓗ⋆𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
Anyway! (Unrelated rambles ahead) I know this post is longer than my usual, so, if you've read this far.. thank you! I've never been super good at summarizing my thoughts, and I'm not sure if anyone even reads these beyond the header. But, it's fun to write regardless! I enjoy letting you all in on this side of my life, and I'm incredibly thankful for the community we have here. I love you all and am once again so happy to be back! I have another long post coming in very soon and I hope y'all like it!
My dad picked it up for me on his way home from work and I forgot to remind him to check that they gave him needles. Lo and behold... They did not. So now I have to wait til tomorrow to take it
BUUUUTTT I have the vial in my possession, so, at least it's here, and I know what to look out for in the future! I'm trying to remain positive. I'm very sad and disappointed, but, oh well. I've waited this long, I can wait another day!
Sooooooo... I found out about Sunda/Sumatran tigers a few days ago
And uhhhhh... After a good bit of research...
[Queue Existential Crisis]
↓↓↓Rambles Below↓↓↓
•ﻌ•𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯𐂯•ﻌ•
Y'all remember the post I made a few days back, talking about multiple kintypes and the redwood forest? Yea, well, I ended up getting really curious about it after I made that post and stayed up all night researching the forest, animals and plants inside of it, as well as other forests/jungles.
In my research, I came to realize that it wasn't EXACTLY the redwood forest I felt most connected to, but rather i felt connected to rainforests and tropical forests.
That's when I stumbled upon the Sumatran Jungle
I immediately felt at home there. I felt so warm and cozy and free just looking at the pictures. I wanted to drink from the water, to sharpen my claws on the trees, to mark my scent everywhere I go. So, I decided to look into it more
Which then lead me to finding the Sumatran Tiger
For YEARS I've kinda always wondered if I am a tiger, but, I held off on looking into it since my ex-bff is (or was?) tigerkin , and for some reason I felt awkward identifying as the same creature she did. Then once I kinfirmed being a Snow Leopard, I thought my connection to Tigers was simply due to them being the closest relative to Snow Leopards. And for some reason I felt awkward identifying as multiple felines, especially as I'm likely also potentially Cheetahkin or cheetahhearted (which, fun fact, was the first Kintype I identified as when I was 12-14!) but that's a topic for a different post lol.
Anyway, once I made this account I decided to be unapologetically me. And that comes with my silly identity struggles. So, this isn't a kinfirming Post, but rather me allowing myself to openly explore this possible side of me. I want to take my time to explore things and do a lot more research before I fully say I am one.
