#sumeru bitches

[adventures-in-teyvat]

wanderer: you don’t know anything about me.

nahida: i know EVERYTHING about you. you are an open book written for very dumb children.

[adventures-in-teyvat]

scaramouche: uh, i think i got your lunch. *holds up a note that reads: “i am very proud of you. love, nahida”*

aether: oh yeah. i didn’t think this was for me. *holds up a note that reads: “be good. for the love of God, please be good”*

[adventures-in-teyvat]

faruzan: think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

wanderer: if you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

[adventures-in-teyvat]

cyno: look, i know you think my judgement's clouded because i like nilou a little bit.

tighnari, holding cyno's notepad: you doodled your wedding invitation.

cyno: no, that's our joint tombstone.

tighnari: my mistake.

[adventures-in-teyvat]

nahida: we need to distract these guys.

wanderer: leave it to me.

wanderer: centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

cyno, alhaitham, and tighnari: *immediately begin arguing*

nilou, watching in horror: oh this. i don’t like this. i don't like this at all.

[adventures-in-teyvat]

tighnari, teaching: now, what’s the opposite of dominant genes?

cyno: submissive genes.

[adventures-in-teyvat]

nahida, looking at scaramouche: okay, so i need to become a therapist faster,

[adventures-in-teyvat]

collei: do you want this handful of moss?

wanderer: why would i want a handful of fucking moss?

collei: damn, you could’ve just said no