I need to go and you need to get your shit together.
You are enjoying your life now, which on the surface kills me because I want you to regret your decision. But, deep within my core, I am glad for you. I don’t like either of these feelings. I do not want someone who deeply hurt me to have my happiness, and I especially do not want them to have my anger. I wish I merely did not care, for indifference is stronger than hatred. Anyone who is trying to figure out how to behave around a former love will most likely understand what I mean by that, that indifference is stronger. I am no longer in love with you, yet you still have my heart. I am trying to get it back, and it’s so frustrating because you don’t even want it. Maybe what’s keeping it with you is that fact that you have a power that no other will ever possess: you were my first love. But you will not be my last. I refuse to be forever broken. I strive to love like I’ve never been hurt, and I vow to let go of what hurts in order to make room for what feels good. I’m so sad that such a fun, simple, beautiful relationship has ended completely with no remains of a friendship whatsoever, but I must let go. It will take time, and I am prepared for that. But I must admit, I cannot wait for the day when I wake up and am able to say that I did not think of you once the day before. It is in that moment when I will consider myself healed.