A blurb about my story, and my deconstruction of Albus Dumbledore.
It was originally just supposed to be a story about Albus Dumbledore's life. Decided that I wanted to explore him, explain why he is the way he is, and take a look at all of parts of his life that shaped him into the man we know. He's such a fascinating and endearing character, and I always knew there was more to him than his lasting grandfather-y legacy of wisdom and quirks - that he isn't just some powerful wizard who always saves the day. I wanted to see what makes him tick. I wanted to delve into his childhood, his family, his journey and submerge myself into every one of the deep tragedies, blissful happiness and powerful love he felt.
Then, of course, I got a tad carried away.
Now, I'm writing an incredibly complex story about how he loves everything around him so fiercely, how he struggles with his own past and memories of the terrible things he once did and believed in, and how just the once, he fell in love with a charming, beautiful boy that made his heart sing.
Strictly speaking, this is a love story, just a very bittersweet and sad one. While we watch the great and devastating love unfold in the past, we also watch him struggle to let it go in the present. In the past, it is summer, life is warm and full of promise; in the present, the sun has long since died, and he tries to remember who he is in the darkness.
In the present, there is a great temptation that he must conquer. He has to ignore his own memories, his past, the love that he buried deep in his chest, because the boy he once loved with every fiber of his being, is now a cruel and vile man, hell bent on watching the world burn as he destroys thousands of lives.
We flit back and forth, watching shards of love bloom, as it dies. We watch the sun burst anew on bright horizons, as we watch it crumble to ash. We see how he loves this boy while he hates this man. We see his happiness while we see his sorrow. We see how he loses control of himself by feeling this bliss, while we see him fight to keep that control and remember who they both are now.
We see sweetness and bitterness. We see joy and sorrow. We see family and tragedy. We see warm eyes grow cold. We see euphoria become regret.
Once we get to that startling last peak of love, we watch how it's snuffed out, and we see why he is so afraid to love again, why he is so ashamed that the flames of that love never died that day, not really - and we see that why, despite every reason not to, he follows it. The boy he loved became a monster, but he discovers that the monster was in there all along, right from the beginning, he was just too blind to see it.
He's ignored the beats of his own heart for long enough, he's pushed away and stifled the truest parts of him for decades. He's repressed himself so much that he longer knows who he is, and when he looks in the mirror - he can't remember where the hollow deceit ends, and where he begins.
So, naturally, he does something both very foolish and incredibly drastic, by playing a game of chance with fate. He goes back to the place he never should have been in to begin with, because he can't always be the clever, brilliant martyr the world paints him as. He feels, he follows. He find himself embedded in every lie he ever told himself.
It was said that emotions have always clouded Albus Dumbledore's judgment, and now, we will understand exactly why that is.
