— SUMMARY. At the peak of his career in the industry, Hyunjin ends up attending a sorority party with a fellow member in attempts to feel normal again. Caught in the midst of the moment, he ends up sleeping with a fan—an impulsive decision that lingers in his memory long after they’ve parted ways. Years later, completely burnt out and facing suffocating expectations, Hyunjin announces an indefinite hiatus and escapes to Italy in search of anonymity and peace. However, fate intervenes when he unexpectedly runs into the very person he couldn’t seem to completely forget, bringing those deepened memories back towards the surface.
OR, in which Y/N didn’t expect to hook-up with her bias, and Hyunjin didn’t expect to fall in love with her.
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— GENRE. idol!hyunjin, strangers-to-lovers au
— WARNINGS/OTHER. “she falls first, he falls harder trope,” slow burn, fan!reader x idol!hyunjin, second chances, forbidden love, cursing, alcohol consumption, angst, smut, fluff, switch!hyunjin, heavy themes consisting of : depression, anxiety, toxicity of idol life
— STATUS. ONGOING
DISCLAIMER. this story is pure fiction, using only skz’s physical characteristics and names. i do not associate my works with the real life members. please reference the warnings above, as this will contain mature content. additionally, please do not read/interact if you’re uncomfortable. thank you!
NOTE. if you would like to be added to the taglist for this series, leave me a comment or send an ask!
— SUMMARY. In which Y/N wasn’t expecting to hook-up with her bias, and Hyunjin wasn’t expecting to fall in love with her
— GENRE. idol!hyunjin, strangers-to-lovers au
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— WC. 8.6k+
— WARNINGS/OTHER. cursing ; some korean dialogue ; mentions of depression & anxiety ; mentions of toxicity of idol life ; possessive!hyunjin ; sexual tension ; smut consisting of: dry humping, fingering, f!masturbation, oral (m!receiving), deep-throating, sexual acts in a public area, lots of dirty talk
NOTE. my reactions while writing this chapter 🥰😅😏😩🥵🤭😮💨💦🫣
ᝰ EIGHT | SERIES M.LIST
Hanaemi 花笑み (Japanese) — “the flowering smile” or “the smile of flowers” in old Japanese. It is a smile that is as beautiful as blooming flowers
Hyunjin thinks he could spend the rest of his life chasing days like this. That thought arrives unexpectedly.
It’s not dramatic, necessarily, but more so of the kind of thought that sneaks up on you when you’re sitting on a private beach somewhere along the Italian coast watching sunlight dance across the water while the woman you’ve spent four years trying to forget laughs beside you.
The beach itself is hidden away from the main coastline. One of his friends owns property nearby and arranged access to a section that’s practically impossible for tourists to reach. There’s no public entrance, no paparazzi, no strangers—it’s just them.
And it feels so good.
Hyunjin has come to know exactly when Y/N starts getting nervous, because he’s spent most of the past twenty-four hours paying attention to her. He noticed it when him and his driver picked her up earlier this morning in a completely blacked out SUV, glancing around in slight paranoia as she all but rushed to climb into the backseat. He noticed it when she sat down beside him, her eyes flickering everywhere but at him at first. And he noticed it when they got out of the car, together, as she pulled her sun hat down to cover her face, making sure to keep her distance as they headed towards the sand.
He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel like shit, but he gets it. He had spent most of his idol life doing the same thing, and still finds himself doing that now, especially when he’s back home in Seoul. Being seen with him causes for a recipe of disaster, and it’s a lot, so he gets it.
She shouldn’t have to think about things like that. Nobody should, but especially not her.
But just like he can tell when she’s nervous, he can also tell when she’s comfortable. And really, he’s just relieved that he can make her feel that way.
They talked the entire ride here. The entire two hours. There was no awkward pauses, no uncomfortable silences, no painfully searching for topics of conversation. It was easy, it was effortless, and it was natural in a way that almost surprises him.
They talked about New York, about her work, about Italy, about how Chan and Kat somehow remain incapable of minding their own business. She told him about horror stories in the ER, (her words, not his), and he told her about the time Felix almost burned the dorm down a week after they debuted.
Stories turned into memories, which then turned into little details about the last four years. And sometime during the drive, Hyunjin realized something that caught him completely off guard.
He didn’t feel any kind of pressure around her, not the pressure that constantly seems to weigh heavy on his chest he ends up carrying everywhere else. Here, with her, there’s no performance, no expectation, no version of himself he has to maintain.
The realization is so rare it almost hurts.
They’ve been lying on the beach for about two hours now, stretched out on towels in the warm sand. The early afternoon sun is warming everything around them, the ocean stretching endlessly ahead. He glances over towards where Y/N is lying, peering at her through his sunglasses, and Hyunjin realizes very quickly that he has a slight problem, because she won’t stop being so beautiful.
As soon as she walked out the front doors of her hotel this morning, he knew he was a goner. She was wearing a flowy white dress that hug her body so perfectly and fell off her shoulders so elegantly that it instantly had him questioning his existence. He could see the straps from the bikini on her shoulders and could make out the outline of her body underneath it, and once she sat down beside him in the backseat, he had to say a quick prayer that he wouldn’t get a hard-on just from her presence alone.
The image has been haunting him for what felt like hours. The way the fabric moved in the breeze once they stepped back out of the car, the sunlight catching in her hair, the easy smile she’d gave him when she kicked her sandals off in the sand and slipped her dress over her head—it all was making him feel crazy. At one point, he’d genuinely forgotten how to speak, which she found hilarious, unfortunately.
Now, she’s lying beside him in a bikini that hides little to the imagination and his situation has become worse. Significantly worse.
She’s talking about something, he thinks. Her mouth is moving, her hands lightly tracing circles on her bare stomach, her gaze focused on the sky in the front of them, and Hyunjin is drawn into every single movement she’s currently making. Except everything she’s saying right now is currently going through one ear and right out the other, along with his sanity.
Honestly, he’s trying. He really is. But the problem is that her bikini is barely hiding anything on her body. It’s tight and revealing in all the right places and Hyunjin can’t seem to focus on anything else but how slick and plush her skin looks from her sweat and the tanning oil she rubbed on herself earlier and how he really wants to lean over and bite at the belly button ring that’s shining in the sun. She didn’t have that before, and he thinks it might be one of the hottest things he’s seen on a woman yet. Or maybe it’s because it’s on her.
Really, he should be ashamed of himself. He’s a twenty-six year old man, yet he’s acting like he’s a teenager.
He closes his eyes briefly, willing himself to get it the fuck together. Really, it’s all fine. As long as she doesn’t turn to lay on her stomach or stand up and stick her ass in his face, he’ll be good. He can deal with this.
It’s almost like she just knows what he’s thinking, as she ends up shifting her body on the towel beneath her, slowly turning her body around so she can lay on her stomach.
A strangled noise escapes his mouth before he can help it, and she’s turning her head to glance over at him, a slightly confused expression on her face, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” He strains out, eyes zeroed in on how plump her ass looks. The bikini bottoms she’s wearing barely cover it, and he’s thankful his sunglasses are hiding his eyes, “Sorry.”
Her lips quirk as she pulls her own sunglasses down on the bridge of her nose, tilting her head down to stare at him, “Are you sure? You look uncomfortable.”
She’s teasing him, he knows it. And it’s not making things better.
He huffs out a short laugh, turning to lay on his stomach so he can attempt to hide his growing erection, “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m perfectly fine.”
Her smile grows, and lets out a little hum before pushing her sunglasses back up, “Whatever you say.”
Her words have his face heating up, and he shifts a little on the towel, discreetly trying to adjust himself in his swim trunks. God, this is embarrassing. Why is he so fucking embarrassing?
“You stopped listening to me earlier, you know?”
Hyunjin blinks, trying to reset his brain. She’s still staring at him, amused, knowing, and he knows theres no way he can deny it.
“Damn it.”
Her grin widens, “I knew it. Knew you weren’t listening to me for the past ten minutes.”
“For the record, I was listening. Somewhat.”
“You absolutely were not.”
“I got most of it.”
“You got none of it.”
Hyunjin sighs dramatically, accepting his defeat, and she laughs loudly, head tilting back. The sound carries across the empty stretch of the beach, bright and warm and dangerous, because he loves hearing it, more than he probably should.
“You were staring. It’s okay to admit it.”
Hyunjin drops his head back onto the towel, “Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
She shakes her head in amusement, “You’re impossible, you know that?”
The breeze lifts her hair, the sunlight catches her smile, and unfortunately, he’s distracted again. She notices immediately.
“See? There you go again.”
“What?” He replies, acting like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
“That.”
She’s smiling differently now, and his stomach flips. It’s the same smile she gave him in his hotel room, the same one that suggested she knew exactly what effect she was having on him.
Dangerous woman.
“So what were you looking at? I feel like I have a right to know.” She rests her face on the palm of her hands, propping up on her elbows as she stares at him.
“I’m not answering that.”
Her eyebrows raise, “You absolutely have to answer that.”
“I really don’t.” He faintly smirks, responding to her in the same teasing tone she was using with him.
“But you do,” She shifts closer slightly, and it’s enough to have his breath hitching in his throat. He watches her carefully, one of her hands reaching out to lightly graze her fingertips against his arm, and he feels the spark instantly, “Hyunjin.”
He shifts again on the towel beneath him, clearing his throat lightly, discreetly moving his arm closer to her so that she’d touch him more, “What?”
“What were you looking at?”
He stares at her for a second, trying to decide if he should tell the truth or not. But unfortunately, he’s never been particularly good at lying to her.
“I was looking at you,” He admits lowly, tilting his head to look at her better. Her fingers are still grazing against his arm, a small hum falling from her lips as she starts to rub small circles on his skin.
“That’s not very specific,” She grins.
Hyunjin lets out a laugh and runs a hand through his hair before propping his face back up, turning to face her. The sunlight is warm against his skin, the ocean rolling quietly behind them, and he realizes he’s exhausted from trying to pretend like he wasn’t staring at her all day.
He shifts his body to lay on his side, propping his head up on his arm, “You really want me to be specific, Y/N?”
She mirrors his position, and he’s eagerly dropping his gaze down, watching at her breasts bounce ever so slightly from the movement. He has to force himself to not lean over, rip that flimsy fabric off, and take her nipples into his mouth.
“I really wanna know, Hyunjin.”
He bites his lip softly, eyes still drawn towards her perky breasts, before he lifts his gaze back to her face. And then everything he’s been trying not to say all day starts coming out.
“I’ve been staring at you because every time I look over here, you somehow look prettier than you did five minutes ago.”
Her grin softens, and he suddenly becomes overwhelmed with her. Everything about her.
“The sunlight keeps hitting your hair, making it look lighter than normal. Now that I think about it, I can make out a few blonde streaks, and I think it makes you look so pretty,” A small smile tugs at his mouth, and he fights the urge to reach out and rub his fingers through her hair, “The wind keeps messing it up. There’s a bunch of curls just flying in the wind, and it looks messy, and you keep trying to fix it, but I like it this way. I like seeing you like this in front of me.”
Y/N’s still watching him, still listening, and his pulse picks up. Because now that’s he’s started talking, it’s becoming impossible for him to stop.
“You look at me like you’re trying not to smile, like you know exactly what you’re doing to me.”
The breeze shifts around them, carrying saltwater through the air. Y/N’s hair falls against her face, messy and tangled, but she doesn’t move it away. Hyunjin smiles when he notices that. He’d sketch her right now if he could.
Beautiful. She’s so beautiful.
“Every time I catch you staring at me back, you get embarrassed for about three seconds before pretending you weren’t staring.”
Y/N groans, “I do not!”
“Yes, you do.”
“I don’t!”
“Y/N.”
The use of her name makes her immediately look away, which proves his point completely. A smug grins spreads across his face, “See what I mean?”
She covers part of her face with one hand, looking completely mortified and dangerously cute. So dangerously cute that it has him wanting to hold her face in his own hands as he devours her on this hot sand.
“I’ve been trying very hard not to think about how beautiful you look lying beside me all day.” He says lowly, carefully.
Y/N’s hand slowly drops from her face, and she turns to look at him. Her sunglasses are still on, and he wishes she’d take them off so he could see her pretty eyes shining for him. Not even a second passes before he’s reaching over, slowly taking them off before placing them in the sand beside them. He’s hears her breath hitch in her throat, and he’s lightly tracing the side of her face before he can think anything of it.
“Much better,” He mumbles out, tucking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes are wide, a little glazed over, but at least she’s looking at him now, “I want to see you looking at me. Always want you looking at me.”
The confession causes her lips to part, her chest rapidly rising and falling with each breath. His eyes flicker over to her lips before he can stop himself, and slowly, he begins to move his hand across her cheek before stopping at her mouth. She parts her lips even more, giving room for his thumb to lightly slip inside. He traces her bottom teeth with his thumb before slipping it inside her mouth fully. A low groan vibrates from his chest once she sucks on it eagerly, twirling and sucking her tongue all around his thumb, just like she’d do with his cock. His cock that is now painfully straining against his swim trunks.
“I’ve been thinking about this mouth, too,” He breathes out lowly, pushing his thumb in deeper. She takes it with a low moan, and the sound goes straight to his dick, “Been thinking about how it would look wrapped around my cock. Think you could take me in your mouth, jagiya?”
She nods her head, eager, eyes watering slightly once she softly gags as he pushes his thumb further into the back of her throat. He hums lowly, tilting his head to the side, “If you’re choking on my thumb now, I can’t even imagine how you’d take my cock in the back of your throat. But if that’s what you want, I’ll give it to you. You know I’ll give you anything you want from me.”
She moans again just as he pulls his thumb back to stick in two of his fingers. She takes them with no hesitation and stars in her eyes, and the sight has him leaking into his shorts.
“Yeah,” He grins once she gags around his fingers, spit dripping down her chin, eyes still wide open and on the brink of tears, “You’d take it so well. You’d be a good girl for me, wouldn’t you? Such a good girl for me.”
He pulls his fingers out, and she lets out a choked gasp, spit dripping all down her face. She’s looking at him differently now, in a way that has him wanting to drop every last ounce of self restraint and take her right here right now without caring who saw them. The place was deserted right now, anyway, and he doubts anyone would even see him, but just the thought of claiming her in front of other people has him feeling fucking feral.
It wasn’t until she called his name, her voice a little breathless and raspy, that he had seemed to knock out of the trance he was in. He shakes his head, turning to lay on his back, desperately trying to recover. If he keeps talking, he’s going to end up doing something he shouldn’t.
And judging by the way she’s looking at him right now, she might just let him, which is somehow worse.
“That’s why I wasn’t listening,” He speaks lowly, casually, trying to act like the boner he’s sporting in his shorts isn’t phasing him one bit, “Hopefully that answers your question. Now, let’s talk about something else.”
A laugh escapes her, breathless and beautiful, and it does nothing to lessen the tent in his shorts, “What… why?”
“Because I enjoy having self-control, and you’re making that extremely difficult for me right now.”
She doesn’t say anything else, and he doesn’t turn to look at her. He doesn’t need to look at her to know what she’s probably thinking, no, definitely thinking. And he’s thinking it, too.
He clears his throat lightly, running a hand through his hair. The same hand that’s still covered in her spit. He can still feel her on his fingers. “Do you like the ER?”
Hyunjin can tell Y/N’s a little taken aback with the sudden conversation change, but after another second, she seems to fully compose herself, blinking a few times as she processes his words, “Yeah. I do. Most of the time, anyway.”
He smiles, closing his eyes, still facing the sun, “That’s an honest answer.”
“Yeah, well, I think people expect me to say I love every second of it. But some days are just awful,” He feels her shift beside him, “I lose people. I think it was worse when I worked mainly in the trauma bay, and it has gotten better now that I’m floating in the unit, but I still lose people. And no matter how many times it happens, how much I try to save them, it never gets easier.”
He turns to look at her, her fingers fiddling with the strings on her bikini bottoms mindlessly as she gazes towards the water in front of them. Something pulls tight at his chest as he listens to her, watches her. He wants to know every piece of her, every part of her life, every version of herself he missed over the last four years. Even the darker ones.
“I think that’s a good thing,” He speaks after a few moments.
She looks over at him, “What is?”
“That it doesn’t get easier,” He places his hand beside him, aimlessly drawing patterns in the sand there, “I think the day it stops affecting you is probably the day you should quit.”
A smile breaks out onto her face, slowly, softly. And suddenly, he understands why people spend entire lives chasing them.
“Yeah. That’s exactly what Kat says.”
The conversation eventually shifts towards him, as he knew it would. She never directly mentions the hiatus, but he hears it, anyway. He hears it in every question, in every moment of concern.
Are you happier now? Do you still enjoy performing? Do you ever get tired?
The answers come easier than expected. Maybe because it’s her and she’s actually listening to him, trying to understand him. It makes him feel vulnerable in a way that he doesn’t entirely hate, especially when she closes the small gap between them to grab ahold of his of hand.
So, he tells her things.
He tells her about the multiple panic attacks he’s had over the years and the crippling anxiety he’s carried with him for what felt like ages before it finally started to get taken seriously. He tells her about how the members had fought and begged for their manager to get him some help and allow him to talk to a professional. He tells her about his recent diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and the medication he has to take and the shit-ton of therapy sessions he has to attend regularly. He tells her about periods where getting out of bed felt impossible and learning how success doesn’t magically fix loneliness.
The words settle heavy between them, in a way that’s almost unsettling. He can feel the shift in the air, the tension between them, and he suddenly feels embarrassed. Embarrassed, because he’s never admitted this out loud to anyone that wasn’t the members or a healthcare provider. Embarrassed, because with a life as picture perfect as his is, he shouldn’t even be feeling this way. Embarrassed, because it isn’t fair to throw his emotional trauma onto someone who didn’t ask for it to begin with.
“Sorry,” He lets out a short laugh, rubbing his free hand against the side of his face, “I didn’t mean to spring all that onto you.”
“Hyunjin,” She calls his name softly, turning on her side to face him better. She lifts their intertwined hands up towards the side of her face, cuddling it close to her skin as she lays her head down, the other coming up to lightly brush against his hair, “Don’t ever apologize for that. Don’t apologize for talking about your feelings. I want to hear it. I want to hear all of it.”
Her actions and words have his stomach churning in the best way, and he leans into her touch, pulse pounding in his wrist as she smiles at him, “You have such a beautiful soul, Hyunjin. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. You don’t deserve any of it. I’m happy you got the help you needed.”
“Yeah,” He whispers, eyes flickering down towards her lips once before focusing back on her eyes. Her eyes that were shining looking at him.
He wishes she’d always look at him this way.
She watches him for a moment, rubbing small circles on his hand. The wind was shifting sand all over them, but neither of them cared. He’d stay here and get buried deep into the sand as long as she still held him this way.
“Did you…” She trails off, eyes flickering all over his face as she struggles with her words, “Did you get in trouble after that night?”
Hyunjin immediately knows what night she’s talking about. One of the best nights of his entire life, where it was just him and her, a messy bed, and lots of things that should’ve been said that couldn’t.
“Yeah,” He turns away from her, glancing up at the sky, swallowing thickly, “I did.”
“Was it bad?” The concern in her voice was evident, and Hyunjin hated that he was making her feel this way.
“He basically told me that if my pretty face wasn’t making the company money, they would’ve gotten rid of me.”
The waves roll softly against the shore, a seagull cries somewhere overhead, and Hyunjin starts to feel himself slipping into a place he doesn’t visit often anymore. Or at least a place he tries not to.
Because the truth is, that conversation never fully left him. Years had passed, his manager had changed his attitude once they became more global, the company had loosened up on them religiously, but sometimes, usually late at night when his anxiety was at its worst, he still heard those words.
Replaceable. Pretty face. Money.
“You know what’s funny?” He laughs softly, but there’s no humor to it, “I had spent years pretending that didn’t bother me. But I think a part of me believed it, anyway.”
His eyes stay fixated on the ocean, “Sometimes I wonder if people would’ve cared about me if I looked different.”
“Hyunjin—“
“No, seriously,” He shakes his head, loosening his grip on her hand without even realizing it. She holds it tighter, “It’s so stupid, but it’s true. I wonder that all the time. More than I should, probably.”
“It’s not stupid, Hyunjin,” She replies quickly, the genuineness in her words causing his heart to clench in his chest, “You shouldn’t… you shouldn’t think that.”
He glances towards her, careful, vulnerable in a way he doesn’t usually allow himself to be, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything.”
He hesitates, for a second. The question feels ridiculous the second it enters his head, but suddenly, he wants to know. Not from fans, not from interviews, not from comments, but from her.
“You told me in the bathroom that I was your bias. Why did you choose me?”
He regrets it as soon as it leaves his mouth, but his insecurities have started to consume him, clawing through his skin, itching for a release. Asking somehow feels more vulnerable than talking about depression, and he wishes he could take it back.
He’s about to apologize, push everything back down like he always does, when her voice stops him.
“You want the honest answer?”
She’s smiling, not at all offended by his sudden question, and he nods hesitantly, not trusting himself to speak.
She shifts on the towel, scooting her body closer to his. She’s completely off the towel now, the warm sand digging into her side. If it was bothering her, she didn’t seem to care, moving their intertwined hands to rest near her chest. He sucks in a breath, and she notices, her smile only growing as she watches him.
“The first thing was your dancing. Obviously,” She admits lightly, her free hand still tracing through his hair, fingertips brushing against the side of his sunglasses, “I remember seeing one of your performances and thinking nobody else moved like you. Then I started paying attention to the group more. And then I heard you rap.”
Hyunjin groans immediately, “Oh no.”
“Nah uh, don’t do that,” She says quickly, narrowing her eyes at him.
“Do what?” His lips quirk.
“That thing where you act surprised that you’re talented.”
Hyunjin laughs at that, and that only seems to make her look even more grumpy than before. “I’m serious! You dance,” She takes her hand away from his face, counting on her fingers, “You rap,” Another finger, “You sing,” Another one.
She holds her fingers up to his face, “See? You’re good at all three.”
Hyunjin opens his mouth to respond, but she cuts him off quickly, “Nope. Don’t even try to deny it. Shove those words right back up your ass, Hyunjin.”
His mouth closes instantly, and she grins triumphantly. She’s so fucking endearing that it has him smiling harder than he ever has on this entire trip so far.
She places her hand back on his face, slowly combing through his hair with her fingers, pushing the loose stands back. The way she was doing it was so careful, so loving, that it made him tremble a little. He melted into her touch, craving more of it, craving more of her, reaching his hands out to softly grab at her waist, pulling her closer to him.
“The thing about you was that you weren’t just good at one thing,” She says once she settles into him, resting her head on his chest, their fingers still intertwined, “You brought something unique, Hyunjin. You made the group better. You’re just as important as everyone else. You matter just as much as everyone else.”
Hyunjin keeps quiet, not really knowing how to respond to that. She says the words with such passion, with such genuineness, that he finds himself actually believing her. It warms his heart in a way that should scare him, but it doesn’t. This, him, her—it just doesn’t.
It feels so right. Everything about this feels so right.
“It wasn’t just talent either, though,” She continues, snuggling deeper into his chest, “You always just seemed so kind.”
“Kind?”
“Yeah,” She giggles softly into his chest, the sound causing his entire body to heat up, “Kind. I watched a lot of interviews, you know? You were always so nice to people. You treated the staff well, always seemed so respectful and elegant with how you carried yourself. And you just cared about people. That’s really what drew me in the most, I’d say.”
Hyunjin blinks, trying to fully process her words. Really, he’s fucking shocked that someone even noticed that much about him, that cared enough to pick up on his character.
She says it so effortlessly, like it should be obvious, but it’s not. Nobody ever says that. People usually talk about his performances, or his sex appeal, or his art, not about how kind he is. She makes it seem like his value was never tied to his face at all, and that realization heals something he didn’t realize was still bruised.
“Do you still keep up with us?” He asks suddenly, “Do you… am I still your bias?”
He feels her body tense up ever so slightly, and the reaction alone gives him his answer. Suddenly, his mouth feels dry, and he feels like an idiot for even asking that to begin with. What is he even looking for, anyway? Validation? Something to make him feel better about himself?
“No,” She says honestly, speaking again before he can back track on his question, “I mean, you guys were a big part in my life once and Stray Kids will always hold a piece of my heart. And of course, you’d always hold a piece of my heart, and I still get all mushy inside and internally freak out a little just being like this with you again. But I haven’t watched a music video or interview or anything in years. Only seen things scrolling on social media every now and then.”
“Oh,” He says lamely, feeling the slightest bit of disappointment at that fact. Okay, not the slightest bit, but very disappointed at that fact, “Can I ask why?”
She didn’t reply right away, choosing instead to roll off of his chest. She wasn’t that far away, and he could still feel her body heat radiating off of her and onto his side, but it was enough to where he could feel the slight breeze from the wind now, and he didn’t like it. He turned to look at her, hands tightening around her waist to prevent her from moving too far away, when her voice made him freeze.
“I guess it hurt too much.”
She wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze was focused on the ocean in front of them, her hands fiddling with the strings on her bikini bottoms, and she looked deep in thought.
“It sounds dramatic, but it’s true,” She laughs softly, looking mildly embarrassed, and Hyunjin hates how quickly the air shifted between them, “I mean, I tried. After that night, I tried to watch music videos and fall back into my fangirl rhythm, but I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t.”
Her face turns towards him, the stars in her eyes beginning to fade, “It’s just… every time I saw you…”
Her sentence falls off. She doesn’t finish it. She doesn’t have to, because he understands, anyway. He understands it perfectly, painfully so.
“I support you guys from a distance, and I’m really happy when good things happen, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
“Yeah,” He whispers out, “I get that.”
And he does get it. For four years, he’d assumed he was the only one carrying that night around, not fully being able to let it go. And now, he’s discovering that he was wrong, very wrong.
She smiles, grabbing ahold of his hand to squeeze it, “Come swim with me.”
Hyunjin blinks, “What?”
“Come swim with me,” She stands up, brushing her hands against her skin to knock some of the sand off of her, and Hyunjin feels mesmerized for a second, “I want to swim with you. You wouldn’t let me go alone, would you?”
When he doesn’t reply right away, she reaches her hand out towards him, wiggling her fingers as she grins down at him so prettily. He huffs out a laugh, slowly leaning up to grab her hand to help him stand up beside her. He tries to let go of her hand once he’s on his feet, thinking she might be uncomfortable touching him like that in public, but she only grips it tighter.
“You can hold my hand if you want to,” She says shyly, eyes focused on their intertwined hands.
“I want to,” He replies back quickly, not even caring if it makes him seem desperate. Truth is, he was. He’d let her touch him all day, every day, in whatever way she wants and not even feel ashamed about it.
Not even five minutes later they’re standing waist deep in the water, laughing at how he nearly tripped over a wave and almost face planted into the water. “Yeah, yeah. Hilarious.” He rolls his eyes fondly, unable to stop the smile from leaving his face as he listens to her laughing. She’s so beautiful like this. So fucking beautiful. He’s honestly surprised he isn’t shitting his pants right now from how nervous he is.
“I feel like you’re really clumsy,” She leads them a little further in the water, still holding onto his hand.
“Yeah, that’s what the members like to tell me,” He follows her, a small wave lifting their bodies up quickly before they come back down, “Aish, it’s cold.”
“It’s not that bad—“
Another wave rolls against them, knocking them both underneath the water for a couple seconds. Hyunjin shoots back up, gasping for air, his eyes instantly drawn to where Y/N is currently coughing and choking, pushing her now wet hair out of her eyes.
“Oh my god,” She shivers, “I was not expecting that.”
“Thought you said it wasn’t that bad,” Hyunjin smirks, pushing his wet hair back with his fingers.
She glares at him, “Shut up.”
She lets out a short shriek, the water coming up to the back of their necks, and he tugs her closer towards him, breath hitching in his throat once she wraps her legs around his waist.
“Is this okay?” She asks softly, her eyes trailing all over his face, like she’s trying to gauge his reaction.
“More than okay.” He tightens his grip around her body, pulling her flush against his skin. Even in the slight coolness of the water, he can feel how warm she is, and it’s so fucking addicting.
She trails her hands up from his shoulders to his face, slowly pushing his sunglasses on his head. He squints his eyes, adjusting to the bright light from the sun, his heart thumping loudly against his chest once he realizes how close their faces are to each other.
“There,” She smiles, resting her hands on the back of his neck, “I can see you looking at me now.”
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
The words come out quickly, randomly, and he’s a little embarrassed once he says it. But that feeling is quickly erased once the next words leave her mouth.
“Then kiss me.”
Fuck, he wants to, but he doesn’t know if it’s a good idea. Not right now, at least. He knows himself too well, unfortunately, and fears he might not be able to stop at just one kiss.
Take it slow, He tells himself over and over again. He should take it slow, and stop thinking with his dick. He should be a gentleman, let her take control, go with what she’s comfortable with.
He opens his mouth to voice just that, when her hands suddenly come up to the top of his head, roughly tugging his hair back, exposing his neck to her.
“Hyunjin,” She says his name so sensually that it has his dick instantly thickening in his shorts, unable to stop the low groan from falling out of his mouth. She tightens her legs around his waist, moving her body forward, lightly brushing her lips against his, “Kiss me.”
He’s lunging forward without a second thought, moans falling from both of their mouths as he crashes his lips against hers. Her hands tug harder at his hair, his sunglasses falling into the ocean beside him, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything other than this, other than her.
“Fuck, you’re a little tease, you know that? Been driving me crazy all day,” He murmurs through sloppy kisses, groaning loudly into her mouth once she rolls her hips against his dick. He bites at her bottom lip, tasting the saltiness there, and she whimpers softly. “But you know that, don’t you? You know you drive me crazy. Acting so innocent and sweet when I know all you want is to get down on your knees for me.”
She moans loudly, kissing him harder, moving her hips even faster against him. His hands snake around her body to harshly grab onto her ass, urging her to fuck against him as he fucks her mouth with his tongue.
He pulls away and she whines in protest, chasing his lips, tugging his face back towards her. He doesn’t let her, one hand coming up to grab at her neck, the other creeping down to lightly brush against her bikini bottoms. “Isn’t that what you want? To get on your knees and put my cock in your mouth?”
“Mhm, yes,” She mumbles against him, rutting against his dick like she was in fucking heat, “Wanna suck your cock so bad, Hyunnie. Want you to fuck my mouth like you’d fuck my pussy.”
Oh, fuck.
Her words and the fucking nickname have him feeling feral, and he’s slipping his hand underneath her bottoms, instantly sliding his fingers inside her. They go in with ease, and she’s gasping into his mouth as he fucks two fingers inside her.
“Gonna make you cum for me first,” He breathes against her mouth, curling his fingers inside her. She lets out a choked moan, her head falling back, riding his hand just like she’d ride his cock. The thought of her bouncing on his cock and begging for him to make her cum plays through his mind, and he’s increasing the pace of his fingers, leaning his face down to bite and suck on the side of her neck.
“Hyunjin,” She moans his name so loudly, the sound playing through his ears like a mantra, “S-shit, Hyunjin… feels so good… you’re gonna make me cum.”
He bites harder, licking up the drops of water off her neck, the salty taste driving him fucking insane. He slips his fingers out from inside her, rubbing hard and fast against her clit, and she’s arching into him with a loud cry of his name.
“Fuck, Hyunjin! Yes, yes, fuck.”
The waves are still rocking against them, she’s still babbling out incoherent words into the warm air around them, and he rubs against her faster, biting onto her neck harder. And then she’s coming all over his fingers, spazzing out against his body, clinging onto him like she’s about to fall underneath the water.
“Jalhaesseo,” (You did well) Hyunjin says lowly, softly kissing the large bruise he sucked and bit onto her skin before trailing his lips up towards her face. She was panting, eyes closed, and he grabbed ahold of her face, forcing her head to tilt towards his.
“Look at me, jagiya,” He squeezed her cheeks lightly, and she lets out a whine, slowly setting her gaze on him. Her eyes were glazed over and her cheeks were flushed, and she looked so fucking beautiful.
And right now, treading water along the Italian coast, she was his.
“Get out.”
She stares at him for a second, blissed the fuck out, her lips parting, “Wh-what?”
“You want my cock down your throat, don’t you?”
The look on her face has his dick leaking into his shorts. She looks confused and submissive as fuck, and the sight has his brain running with thoughts that he’d never even think of in the first place.
Hyunjin doesn’t normally act like this when it comes to sex. He’s always been attentive, careful, and very vocal in bed, but never has he acted like this. He noticed it when he fucked her for the first time four years ago, and he’s noticing it again now. She brings out a different side of him he always knew existed and tried to tame, yet never fully came out.
And fuck, he loves it. And judging by how she’s still looking at him, eyes wide and panting like a dog, he knows she loves it, too.
“Don’t you?” He’s asking again, voice dropping an octave as he brings her face closer to his. She leans in to kiss him, but he holds her face back, a loud whine falling from her lips, “Y-yes. Please, Hyunnie.”
“Please what?”
Beg. Please beg. Honestly, he wants nothing more.
“Please let me suck your big cock. I’ve wanted to for so long, I’ve thought about it for years. I want it hitting the back of my throat, want to taste you so bad. Use me, please, Hyunnie. Want you so much.”
Hyunjin growls, feeling like he’s about to cum in his shorts, because holy fuck, that was so hot. “Then stop stalling and get out of the fucking water, yeah?” He lightly shoves her away from him. She stumbles a little, and Hyunjin feels bad for about half a second before she basically sprints back onto the sand, her ass jiggling with each hurried step forward. She’s eager, just like he is, and he fucking loves it.
By the time he gets out of the water, she’s already down on her knees in the sand, toying with the loose string of her bottoms, waiting so patiently for him. He suppresses a groan just looking at her, his dick pathetically straining against his shorts, slowly sinking down to sit on the towel that was still laid out on the sand. He leans back on his elbows, manspreading, beckoning her forward with a jerk of his head, “Come here.”
She starts to get up, sitting a few feet away from him, and he stops her with a click of his tongue, “Nah uh. Crawl to me.”
Before he can fully blink, she’s already digging her knees back into the sand, on all fours, crawling over towards him with a look so sensual it has him reaching down with his right hand to rub at his dick to attempt to relieve some pressure.
“Ssibal, jonna hathane,” (Fuck, that’s hot), He whispers more to himself than anything, groaning loudly once she reaches him, placing her hands on his legs, eyes focusing on where he’s currently still rubbing at his cock like a fucking teenager.
“Take my cock out,” He says lowly once he forces himself to stop. She wastes no time in doing just that, hands sliding up towards the waistband of his swim shorts, instantly jerking them down just enough to get his cock out.
He groans lowly once it finally springs free, one of her hands coming up to wrap around the base of his cock, the other sliding up his abdomen. “Wanna make me feel good, jagiya?” He reaches out to push her hair away from her face before gripping it tightly in his hands, jerking her head towards his cock.
She moans softly, grip tightening on his cock, her breath fanning against the tip of it. She licks her lips, and he groans loudly at the warm feeling of her tongue brushing against him at the action. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about this before. Okay, maybe more than once, when he’s alone in a hotel bed and feeling extra horny. But now that she’s actually here, knees dug into the sand, ass perched high in the air, looking at him like he’s her fucking world, he can’t go back.
Not that he’d ever want to, anyway.
“Answer me,” He jerks her head back, a bit of drool sitting in the corner of her pretty mouth, “Do you want to make me feel good? Want to gag around my cock until I cum all down your throat? Want me to claim you as mine?”
“Yes,” She pants, on the verge of tears, “Want your cock so bad, Hyunnie. I’ll make you feel so good, let you use my mouth however you want. Please let me have it. Please, please, please.”
He jerks her head back down, her lips brushing against him, “Open your mouth, and make me cum.”
She takes him with a loud moan, her tongue gliding against him so perfectly. She’s bobbing her head up and down, hand jerking him where her mouth doesn’t reach, drooling and slobbering all over him like he’s her last meal.
Hyunjin’s had his fair share of blow jobs. They were always messy, quick, and usually resulted in him still feeling unsatisfied afterwards. Maybe half of that was because he didn’t ever feel a romantic connection with those women, but whatever the reason, here—this, with Y/N going at it like they’re filming a porn tape, is everything.
She is everything. And right now, she’s still his.
“Yeah, jagiya. Just like that,” He breathes out, using his hand to guide her on his dick, leaned back on one elbow as he watches her swallow him like a pro, “Mhm, fuck. Your mouth feels so good wrapped around me. Fuck, how many dicks have you sucked?”
Hyunjin doesn’t know why he asks that. But with the way she’s sucking him, shaking her ass in the air, moaning and watching him with that same look as she takes his dick down her throat so effortlessly, there’s no way this is her first time.
The thought of other men sticking their cocks down her throat has him seeing red, and he’s leaning back, using both hands to grip at the back of her head, his abs tightening as he leans up, “Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter, anyway, because my cock is gonna be the only one you remember after today.”
And then he’s slamming her head down onto him, her nose brushing against his pelvis with each push down. She’s choking, sputtering, moaning with every hard jerk down, and the sound is like heaven in his ears.
“Fucking hell,” He whines out, feeling his balls drawing up tight with each gag around his cock, “Mhm, yeah. Your mouth is perfect, jagiya. So perfect. You look so beautiful choking around my cock. You choke like this on anyone else’s? Hm? Were they big enough to make you cry and gag like I do?”
She’s moaning again, the sound shooting straight up his dick. He closes his eyes briefly, willing himself to get it the fuck together, because he does not want to cum yet. He wants to engrave this image into his mind forever, wants to have her like this every single day for the rest of his life, wants to claim her, mark her, show the world that she’s his and only his.
He opens his eyes again, choking out a moan once he sees her other hand moving fast in between her legs. Another closer look, and he’s realizing that she’s rubbing herself through her bikini bottoms, her fingers working quick and hard against the flimsy fabric.
“Holy fuck,” He groans out, his eyes now completely focused on how she’s fucking herself in front of him, getting herself off from getting him off, “F-fuck. Are you actually touching yourself right now?”
She moans around his dick, moving her hand even faster against her pussy, and Hyunjin feels dizzy, “God, that’s so hot. Fuck. Does sucking me off get you all hot and bothered, jagiya? One orgasm wasn’t enough for you?”
She’s rutting against her hand now, tears streaming down her face as he works her mouth on his cock. “Such a greedy little slut for me, jagiya. You just had to get yourself off right now. Couldn’t even wait until I came down your throat, huh?”
She cries against him, hips moving desperately, her fingers working even faster, swallowing him even harder, and he lets out a growl, feeling his vision start to blur as that warm feeling starts to shoot down his spine. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, cum with me, fuck.”
She spazzes out, gaging around his cock with a loud cry, and his vision is turning white as he throws his head back, holding her head in place as he thrusts into her mouth, shooting his load all down her throat.
“Mhm, yeah, fuck,” He babbles out curses and moans and praises as he slowly thrusts his hips into her, working out his orgasm. His body feels like jelly, his heart feels full, and his dick is spent.
Ho-ly shit.
The sound of her choking out another sob brings him out of his post-orgasmic haze, and he’s jerking her head off his now softening dick, a trail of spit dripping down her chin and onto his thighs. She gasps once her mouth is finally free, and he’s instantly grabbing her arms to pull her up towards him.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” He breathes out, wiping at her mouth with the back of his hand. She looks absolutely wrecked, and he feels a sense of pride swelling in his chest that he was the one who made her look this way, “Are you okay?”
She coughs once, wiping at the tears semi-dried on her cheeks, “I’ve never been better.”
She smiles at him, the stars twinkling brighter in her eyes, and he pulls her to lay on top of him, kissing the top of her head. She snuggles into him, her skin warm, and he feels complete.
Was this a bad idea? Probably. Did he think about the potential consequences of whipping his dick out in public? Nope. But Hyunjin realizes quickly that right here, with her lying on his chest and sand bunched up his ass, he doesn’t care. Not at all.
“Me too,” He whispers softly before capturing her lips in his.
— SUMMARY. In which Y/N didn’t expect to hook-up with her bias, and Hyunjin didn’t expect to fall in love with her.
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— GENRE. idol!hyunjin, strangers-to-lovers au
— WC. 5.8k+
— WARNINGS/OTHER. cursing ; mentions of alcohol ; sexual tension ; depictions of college parties ; blonde!hyunjin ; brief mentions of idol life ; they are both awkward & lowkey simps for each other
NOTE. chapter one is here!!! this is one of three chapters that will make up part one in the series, all set in the past. this is where we will build the foundation of the story before we get to present day. as always, feedback is oh so appreciated — asks, reblogs, comments; anything <33
ᝰ TWO | SERIES M.LIST
Koi no yokan (Japanese) — “premonition of love.” The sense that you are about to fall in love; a very subtle spark that may or may not develop into love over time
MARCH, 2022.
Hyunjin was staring.
Not in a creepy, serial killer way, but in a way where his entire body felt frozen in time, and he was forced to not do anything but stare.
He noticed her the moment he stepped into the house, before the greetings and whispers that always followed him into rooms like this. She was standing across the room from where he was currently hiding in one of the dark corners like a fucking creep, laughing at something her friend said. It wasn’t the practiced, camera-ready laugh he knew so well, but it was something loose, something genuine. Hyunjin couldn’t hear her laugh over the loud bass of the music, but he imagined it to ring heavenly in his ears.
She had turned towards his direction just slightly, just enough for him to catch the curve of her profile. Her hair was long, falling down to her lower back in soft curls, and Hyunjin watched as she tucked a piece behind her ear, her eyes softening while she listened, like she wasn’t waiting on her turn to speak.
His eyes then wandered down her body, gulping nervously once he really took in her outfit. She was wearing a matching black set with a skirt that was so unbelievably tight that it held very little to imagination. It fit her in all the right ways, tight in areas that made his breathing heavier, and Hyunjin doesn’t think he has ever seen anyone pull off an outfit as well as she did. But, god—she might as well not have worn anything at all because Hyunjin could definitely see the curve of her ass peeking out underneath and he began to sweat a little at the sight.
He swallowed thickly, quickly averting his eyes away so he wasn’t caught looking. Staring is rude, he tells himself, especially when it’s directed at a woman’s curvy body. Rude, rude, rude.
That lasted maybe five seconds before he was looking at her again.
She was brushing her hair back with her fingers again, only for it to fall forward seconds later. Hyunjin watched her huff in slight annoyance, and he found himself grinning in amusement without realizing it.
Hyunjin had been in rooms way louder than this, way brighter than this. He’s been in rooms full of people screaming his name, reaching for him like he was some golden prize, wanting and demanding pieces of him he didn’t always recognize anymore. He knew how exist in those places—how to perform, how to be seen. But this felt different. Here, right now, he was the one looking.
And he couldn’t bring himself to stop.
He frowned slightly at that realization, like he could reason himself out of it. Hyunjin had seen thousands of faces over his lifetime. Beauty was a familiar territory for him—predictable, even. But this, her—this wasn’t that.
To Hyunjin, love was something that was built slowly. It was built through time, through effort, through understanding someone’s worst days as much as their best. But right now, that didn’t feel true—that didn’t feel true at all.
And he just couldn’t stop staring.
“Hyun,” He heard a deep voice call his name behind him. Turning towards the sound quickly, Hyunjin came face-to-face with Chan, holding two red solo cups in his hands, “Here. It’s non-alcoholic. Just wanted to bring you something to fit the scene more.”
Hyunjin took the cup, slightly disappointed that there was no alcohol since he desperately needed some now, but knowing they had to follow the rules. “Thanks.” He mumbled back, taking a long sip, finding that the mystery drink was just regular Coke. Sad.
Chan nodded his head in acknowledgement, taking a sip of his own drink. His eyes danced across the room briefly before landing back on Hyunjin. “So who were you staring at?”
“Huh?” Hyunjin asked, pretending to be oblivious, “Me? I wasn’t staring at anyone. Just taking in my surroundings is all. You know I haven’t been to a…college party before.”
“Hm, yeah,” Chan smirked slightly, not believing him one bit. He knew him too well. “So you just happened to get a hard-on from observing your surroundings, huh?”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened, choking on his drink as he quickly looked down at his dick in panic, internally cursing at himself for getting this worked up over some random girl. Chan suddenly started laughing loudly, Hyunjin looking back up to glare at him, scoffing once he realized what had happened. “Fuck off.” He grumbled, Chan’s giggles now starting to annoy the life out of him. He didn’t think it was funny at all.
Hyunjin took a sip of his Coke aggressively, putting his back towards Chan as he scanned the scene before him once again. Everyone was dancing in the living room, Post Malone blaring on the speakers. Hyunjin wanted to go out and dance but was way too shy—ironic since he’s in a pretty fucking popular pop group. Speaking of said group, why the fuck are they here again?
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Hyunjin suddenly asked, thoughts of being recognized by the students here clouding his mind, making him feel uneasy all of a sudden.
Chan could sense his slight nervousness, placing a hand on his shoulder as a form of comfort, “Yeah, don’t worry so much. We got the okay, so just have some fun, alright?”
Hyunjin sighed, nodding his head slightly. He knew Chan would never deliberately put them in a bad situation, and they did get permission to come here for the weekend as long as everyone attending signed a NDA practically threatening to sue them if they even uttered a single word about it. Hyunjin personally wasn’t a fan of NDA’s, but who can pass up that offer when they’ve been busy non-stop? He deserved to take a little break and try to relax and have fun for once. He deserved to pretend like he was a college kid, even if it was just for one night.
His eyes betrayed him as he ended up glancing back over in her direction. He was watching as she laughed again, her head tilting towards her friend. He was watching as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, completely unaware of the way she held his attention without even trying. He was watching, wishing he could be the one she was talking to instead. He told himself he would look away in a second—just one more, measly second. But then she was smiling again, and it suddenly felt entirely impossible.
Yeah, he needs a fucking drink if he’s going to get through tonight.
“You’re definitely staring.”
Hyunjin felt his face getting hot, quickly looking away from her and back towards Chan who was currently smiling at him like a maniac. “Hyung!” He hissed out quietly, on edge, which only made Chan even more amused, “I-I am not!”
“Oh, yeah?” He replied, raising a brow as he flicked his head towards where she was still standing, “Short girl, about twenty feet away. She’s talking to someone that looks way too fucking energetic to be at a sorority party on a Saturday night. Black top, matching black skirt, and you’ve been eye-fucking her for the last ten minutes.”
Hyunjin’s mouth fell open, gripping the cup tighter in his hand, appalled as fuck. The grin on Chan’s face only grew, looking at him in a way that says I told you so.
Damn him.
“Fuck you,” He grumbled out, knowing there was no pointing trying to deny it since he knows he nailed it on the spot, “I haven’t been eye-fucking her. Let’s simmer down, please.”
“Hyunjin, your eyes are un-dressing her as we speak. You’re anything but discreet.”
Hyunjin groaned in annoyance, bringing the cup back up to his lips as he tried to hide his face more, “So what? I’m allowed to find someone pretty, aren’t I?”
Pretty doesn’t even begin to describe her, but he would rather un-exaggerate the situation than have Chan see how much of a simp he is already for a girl he doesn’t even know.
“I never said you weren’t,” Chan replied, his shoulder brushing Hyunjin’s as he shifted on his feet. He nudged him, flicking his head over towards where she was still standing, “You should go talk to her.”
Hyunjin shook his head immediately, eyes widening, “N-no… I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“Why not?” He raised an eyebrow, and Hyunjin looked at him like he had suddenly grown two heads. What does he mean why not?
Chan rolled his eyes, noticing the very confused expression on his face. “There’s no harm in just talking to someone you find interesting for one night, Hyun. Everyone here signed a NDA, so you’re covered on that end. Obviously, don’t do anything stupid, but you can talk to people, you know?”
“I don’t… I don’t find her interesting,” He weakly defended himself, trying to convince himself otherwise.
“Yeah, right. I haven’t seen you drool over a girl like this in years. Stop being so tense. Since when do you hesitate? You never have before.”
Since now, apparently.
Hyunjin chewed on his bottom lip, eyes focusing back on the girl standing in front of him. She was a good couple steps away from where they were standing, but close enough to where if she were to glance over in his direction, they’d make eye contact. He can’t decide if he wants that or not.
“Are you nervous?” Chan’s voice piped up again from beside him, amused, “I never thought I would live to see the day where Hwang Hyunjin was nervous over talking to a girl at a sorority party.”
“Are you done?” Hyunjin asked dryly, his gaze never wavering from her. She had tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear now, tilting her head as she listened intently to whoever was talking beside her. The flashing lights caught her expression for a second, and something in his chest pulled tight.
“You are literally so down bad, it’s actually pathetic,” Chan snickered, and Hyunjin let out a low whine in reply, stomping his foot lightly on the ground in slight annoyance, because he knows he can’t deny it. “Just go talk to her.”
“If I went over there, she would look at me, and I wouldn’t know what to say that isn’t rehearsed.” He admitted after a few seconds, swallowing thickly once he saw her laughing again.
“You’re overthinking this so badly.”
“I know!” Hyunjin groaned out, wishing he could be anyone else instead right now, anyone else but who he is.
“You are the most dramatic person I know,” Chan tsked beside him, shaking his head in disbelief as he took another sip of his drink, “I guess we’ll just stand here while you stare at her like you’re in a music video or some shit.”
“Chan!” A female voice interrupted him before he could reply, both heads turning towards said voice to see that it was Kat, Chan’s childhood best friend. Hyunjin had heard a lot about her, knows the entire story of how they met up to where he left Australia to move to Korea. She meant a lot to Chan, so naturally, she meant a lot to the members, as well.
As she got closer, Hyunjin eyed her curiously. Her hair fell down to her shoulders, blonde and straight, flowing in the air as she sped-walked towards them. She was wearing a blue dress, short and tight, stopping mid-thigh, tugging it down a little as she got closer. She looked exactly like Chan’s type—blonde, bubbly, and cute. Hyunjin brought his cup up to his mouth to hide his grin from that realization, side-eying Chan who looked like he wanted to pass out on this dirty floor.
“Why are you guys hiding in this dark corner? Never mind that, you’re here! I’m so glad you guys could make it!” She screeched out happily, accent much thicker than Chan’s. He had to strain his ears just to figure out what she was even saying.
“Ugh, I’ve missed you so much, Channie!” Kat pulled Chan into a tight hug, both of them laughing and giggling and swaying as they did so. Hyunjin internally smirked at his friend who was desperately trying to hide his blush from the interaction, knowing the little crush Chan has on his childhood best friend, even if he never verbally admitted it.
“Of course, Kat. You know I would never miss it again.”
“I only let you off the hook once, and that’s because I understand you’re always so busy and whatnot. Living your best life and shit.” She giggled in reply.
She then turned towards Hyunjin, smiling and leaning in for a quick hug, catching him off guard as he stumbled a bit before awkwardly reciprocating it. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person, Hyunjin! Thank you for tagging along with Chan. He definitely is in need of a babysitter when he comes to parties.”
Hyunjin let out a laugh, nodding his head in agreement, “Oh yes, I know. It’s nice to meet you as well. I have heard a lot about you over the years. All good things, of course.”
The words sounded foreign coming out of his mouth, as Hyunjin wasn’t used to speaking English as much. He’s fluent in the language, thanks to his management forcing him to take lessons once their fanbase became more global, but he didn’t speak it very often. Besides whenever they were in America or talking with Chan and Felix, he didn’t get much practice, and it was something he was always insecure about. Of course he had an accent when speaking, but the proud smile on Chan’s face after he finished his sentence made him relax, letting out a small smile himself when realizing maybe it isn’t so bad.
“I sure hope it’s all good things, otherwise I would have to have a serious convo with this man over here,” She glanced over at Chan, giving him a little wink before taking a sip of her cup. Hyunjin watched how Chan’s face got even redder, (if that’s even possible), quickly bringing his cup to his lips to hide any evidence of his obvious flustered state.
“I’m just wondering, but do you know how many people here know about Stray Kids?” Hyunjin asked, thinking he should help save Chan from his slight embarrassment since Kat was still staring at him like a lovesick puppy.
She looked over at Hyunjin as Chan began to relax, clearing his throat awkwardly now that the attention was off of him.
“You mean how many people here are fans of you guys?”
“Y-yeah, just an estimate or something, maybe. Like I said, I’m just curious, not uncomfortable or anything.”
Truth is, Hyunjin was a little uncomfortable at the thought of his fans being here, just because he didn’t want to do anything that could make them want to judge him. Sounds silly, he knows, but Hyunjin is more of a private person, and just doesn’t want to well—deliberately fuck anything up.
Kat’s eyes lit up in realization at the question Hyunjin was trying to discreetly ask but failed doing so, nodding her head slightly, “Gotcha. The only person I know who is like a huge Stay is my roommate. She’s here somewhere, so if she sees you guys, she might internally freak out, but she won’t go all crazy or anything. I was actually trying to find her earlier so I could personally introduce her. I’ll go look for her later.”
“Kat’s a Stay too, she just won’t admit it.” Chan chimed in with a teasing smirk, cup still up towards his lips.
“Yeah, I really dig Changbin. He can rap, sing, and his muscles? I’m sold.”
Chan cocked an eyebrow, placing the cup down and away from his lips before taking a step towards Kat, “Really? For some reason, I feel like you’re not really describing Changbin.”
Hyunjin glanced at Chan, and then at Kat, and then back to Chan, before deciding he should probably walk away. He was starting to get second-hand embarrassment.
“I’m going to go find a bathroom,” Hyunjin mumbled out, and Chan turned to look at him, the tip of his ears red. Hyunjin had to prevent himself from letting out a laugh.
“Keep your phone close,” He told him, hand patting his shoulder briefly, “And keep your mouth shut. Not a single word. I see you wanting to make fun of me.”
“Yes sir.” Hyunjin let out a teasing grin, dramatically saluting him before turning around to head around the corner, but not before glancing over to catch a glimpse of her one last time. He frowned a little when he realized she was gone, trying to ignore the overwhelming need to walk around and find her again.
He walked around for a bit, mumbling out a chorus of excuse me’s and pardon me’s as he maneuvered his way around everyone. The music was still blaring, a couple of strobe lights flashing across the walls and ceiling, couples standing in the middle of the room groping each other and making-out. Hyunjin almost wanted to laugh at how accurate all those movies he’s watched were. He didn’t think it would actually be like this. Well, he didn’t think he would even be at a place like this, but here he is. It’s a miracle they even got out in the first place.
The company knew about Chan’s connection with Kat. Whenever they first debuted, he wasn’t allowed to speak to her. He could only talk to her whenever he went back home, and even then, that was very risky. Hyunjin remembered all the times Chan would be upset over that, all the arguments he’s had with the company on how they were too controlling—and Hyunjin agreed. But that’s just a price they had to pay for getting into the industry.
They were all forced to delete all forms of social media, could only remain in contact with their family, and had a strict dating-ban that is still valid to this day. Not that he’s trying to date anyone right now, but Hyunjin does tend to get pretty lonely at times. It’d be nice if he could love someone without all the restrictions and repercussions.
Although they still have a dating ban in place, their company has loosened up with some things, like allowing Hyunjin to tag along with Chan to his best friend’s sorority party at an American university in New York City. He still doesn’t know how he managed to convince them, but he wasn’t going to complain about it. He needed a short break from reality, even if it was only for two days. And what better way to do that than blending in at a sorority party?
Except he wasn’t exactly blending in. Hyunjin knew he looked awkward and out of place here. He was wearing a simple black hoodie with light-washed jeans, yet he still felt like he wasn’t entirely fitting in. And really, how could he? But for once, he wanted to exist somewhere nobody expected him to be—somewhere with no stage lights, no screaming arenas. Just noise that didn’t belong to him.
A glance towards his right made him freeze in his steps. There was a group of girls, whispering amongst themselves as they glanced at him. Did they recognize him? Surely not from this distance—not with his baseball cap covering half of his face. Hyunjin didn’t know what to do, so he awkwardly gave them a little wave, and they immediately started giggling. He glanced back to his left, seeing a couple of girls doing the same exact thing. He smiled at them, bowing slightly, before deciding that he should really, probably, definitely find a bathroom before he gets approached.
He pulled his baseball cap even lower, feeling his hands start to sweat as he started moving swiftly through the crowd, keeping his head down. He felt himself begin to slightly panic all of a sudden. Didn’t Kat say there was only one fan here? Why does it suddenly feel like everyone’s watching him? Should he just go back to Chan?
“Okay, this was a bad idea,” He muttered to himself, feeling like he was starting to sweat through this hoodie.
He spotted the stairs, quickly turning around and sprinting up them two at a time, hoping that a bathroom was up this way. Surely there’s a bathroom upstairs. I mean, this party is at a sorority house, and he’s assuming that some of the girls in the sorority live here. So, theoretically, there should be a bathroom, especially if—
His thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he bumped into a body, his drink flying out of his hands, spilling all over whoever he just bumped into. He stumbled back in surprise. “Shit! Why does this have to happen to me?” He whined out frantically, cup falling to the floor. He took in a breath, switching back to English, “I’m so sorry. Truly. I should have—“
The words he was trying to get out got caught in his throat once he glanced up. There, right in front of him, was the same exact girl from earlier, Coke dripping down her chest and thighs. Her eyes were wide, not in recognition, but just surprise.
They both stepped back at the same time, and for a second, neither of them spoke. The music downstairs had switched to a Migos song, the beat thumping the entire house, but not as loud as Hyunjin’s heart was right now.
“Oh, that didn’t get on you, did it?” She asked suddenly, scanning the front of his hoodie like it mattered, even though he had ran into her and she’s soaked from her chest down.
Hyunjin blinked. Is she talking to him right now? Did he just imagine that? Is he going insane?
The correct answer is yes. Yes he is.
“N-no. No. You’re good. I’m good. All good.”
God, he’s so fucking embarrassing.
There was a pause. A weird one, like his voice had suddenly shifted something in the air. She tilted her head up to look at him properly this time, and she froze.
He watched it happen, the exact moment it clicked—the widening of her eyes, the sharp inhale, the tiny, almost imperceptible step back.
“Oh,” She said softly, voice wavering slightly.
Hyunjin braced himself, feeling his hands growing even more clammy as the back of his neck turned hot.
“Oh,” She said it again, a little louder, like she almost couldn’t believe it either.
“Hey… please don’t…” Hyunjin let out softly, trying to swallow down the nerves building in his throat. He could throw up right now.
“I’m not!” She said quickly, almost tripping over her own words, “I’m not going to scream, I swear! I just…” She pressed her lips together, trying and failing to hold back a grin, “This is actually insane.”
Yes, it is.
“That’s usually the reaction, yeah.” He let out a small breath, half relieved, half amused. Relieved, because despite the inner turmoil, she was remaining very calm. Amused, because of course the girl he was mesmerized by all fucking night was a fan. Of course.
“You’re actually here,” She spoke a little more quieter, eyes wide in adoration and something else he couldn’t make out, “At a random sorority party… my random sorority party. I mean, I knew you’d be here because, you know, contracts and all, but still.”
“You seem to be taking it fairly well.”
She laughed softly, shaking her head as she put her hand up to cover her mouth, trying to mask her smile, “I’m really not. You should hear me internally screaming right now.”
Hyunjin felt his heart hammering in his chest, unable to hide the smile on his face at how cute she was. He found himself starting to relax, adjusting the baseball cap on his head so it didn’t cover his face as much. He watched her eyes lighten, eyes dancing across his face in awe, looking at him like he’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. He felt his cheeks flushing, suddenly feeling a little shy with her gaze on him.
The girl seemed to break out of her trance, blinking a few times before looking down, seeing the drops of Coke trailing down her legs. “Oh, I’m all wet.” She let out, and Hyunjin’s breath hitched in his throat.
Her eyes widened, as if she realized what she just said, quickly stuttering out a string of words, “Oh, wait… I didn’t mean it like that. I swear I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant your drink is now on me. I-I didn’t realize it before. But it’s okay! I don’t mind being wet!”
Hyunjin’s mouth went dry, and he tried to ignore the soft twitch of his dick in his pants from her words. Seriously?! Calm the fuck down! He cleared his throat before leaning down to grab the cup he so clumsily dropped, attempting to distract his mind and body from what is actually occurring right now.
“I am… very sorry,” He apologized once he stood back up, twirling the now empty cup around in his hands, “I didn’t mean to run into you. Or spill my drink all over you. I’m not… usually this clumsy.”
That’s a lie, Hyunjin’s so fucking clumsy that it’s very unflattering.
“Oh, don’t apologize! It’s okay, seriously!” She smiled up at him, and Hyunjin found himself smiling back, feeling a little dazed at how she was currently looking at him. Her hands came up to softly pat at her top that was now soaked in Coke, and Hyunjin visibly swallowed.
He tried not to look at her boobs, he really tried. But she was touching them, and they were wet, and they were right there, that he simply couldn’t help it. He felt his dick twitch again and wanted to throw himself down the stairs.
“Are you… okay?”
Hyunjin felt his body go stiff, swallowing thickly. “Yes,” He replied with a nod of his head, shifting a little on his feet, “Are you?”
“Yeah,” She replied back nervously, eyes darting behind him a couple times before landing back on his face, “I was just… it seemed like you were in a hurry before we bumped into each other. I guess I was just wanting to make sure you were okay.”
Hyunjin could tell she was choosing her words carefully, and he felt his body relax even more at her tone. “I’m okay,” He replied softly, desperately trying to ignore how his heart kept stuttering in his chest, “Thank you for checking in, though.”
“Okay, good,” She smiled at him, a little breathless, fidgeting with her hands like she didn’t know what to do with them, “I guess I should just go to the bathroom and clean up a little. It was really nice to see you. I hope you can have fun and take some time to enjoy yourself.”
The words came out so quickly that he almost didn’t even realize what she even said until he noticed her turning around, speed-walking away. Hyunjin suddenly felt this weird pull in his chest, mind spiraling at the fact that she was actually walking away from him, taking a step after her without thinking. “Wait!” He spoke out, and she stopped, turning around slowly. Hyunjin gulped, raking his brain to figure out what to even say, “I can… let me come with you. I can, uh, help you clean up. It’s the least I can do since I spilled my drink on you.”
Help you clean up? Seriously? Why did he say that?
“Oh,” She breathed out, and Hyunjin could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t expect this at all. He didn’t either. “Oh. Sure! It’s, uh, right over here. Just down the… hall. Yep.”
Hyunjin nodded his head in reply, gulping loudly before awkwardly following her down the hall. If Chan was here right now, he would never live this down.
His body felt stiff, and he had to prevent himself from watching her ass jiggle as she walked in front of him. However, he ultimately failed, eyes zeroed in on the way her ass was peaking out ever so slightly in that god-forsaken skirt, seemingly mesmerized by the way it moved.
He didn’t have too much time to ogle at it as the sound of the door opening caught his attention. She was holding the door open for him, shyly glancing him, a polite smile on her face. Hyunjin could see that her face looked a little more flushed than it was previously, and he felt a strange sense of pride swell in his chest at the fact that he was obviously making her feel this way.
He stepped in, softly closing the door behind them. He took another look at her now that he could properly see her—eyes first glancing at her face, seeing the slight freckles that grazed her cheeks, the stark brightness in her eyes, the soft gloss on her lips. His eyes then trailed downwards, noticing her nipples poking out through the top that he failed to notice before, breasts sitting so perky despite the fact that he could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra. He then glanced down towards her legs, thighs thick and delicious, and he thought that they would fit so perfectly wrapped around his waist. His eyes lingered there a little longer before he finally glanced back up. Her cheeks were red, hands fidgeting at her sides like she didn’t know what to do with them. She avoided eye contact, looking everywhere but at him, and Hyunjin decided he didn’t really like that.
“Let me just grab some toilet paper,” She awkwardly let out before attempting to take a few steps backwards towards the toilet. However, she ran into the edge of the sink, stumbling a little as she caught her balance on the counter.
“Be careful,” Hyunjin stepped towards her, arms stretched out as he helped to steady her. Her skin was warm against his hand, softly gripping her upper-arm. She was close enough to where he could smell the sweet perfume on her neck, could connect every single freckle with his eyes, could just barely lean in and place his lips on hers.
And he wanted to—he wanted to so fucking bad. Hyunjin doesn’t even remember the last time he’s ever wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to right now. And what made it worse was the fact that she wasn’t even moving away.
Should he just lean in? Test out the waters and just see what her lips feel like, how she tastes? Maybe if he kisses her this one time, he can finally get her out of his system and stop feeling so crazy. Is he even allowed to kiss her? Does he care?
Hyunjin had been in a lot of high-pressure situations. He’s been in numerous broadcasts, countless award shows, sold-out arenas screaming his name. But none of them seemed to compare to this.
“Oh,” She whispered out, her breath trembling, lightly fanning his face, “You are… you’re touching me.”
The inner thoughts in his head came to an abrupt pause at her words. Hyunjin jerked his hand back like he’d just touched something scalding hot, immediately feeling the clamminess of his hands. Fuck, was he sweating all over her?
“I’m… I’m so sorry,” He breathed out, cringing as he wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. God, he really hoped she didn’t notice. That’s fucking embarrassing.
“It’s okay! Really!” She replied quickly before turning around to grab a handful of the cheap toilet paper to start dabbing at her top. Her hands were dramatically shaking as she tried to control her breathing, and he wondered for a second if he was making her uncomfortable. Hyunjin glanced down at them, debating if he should just walk out of this tiny bathroom and leave her be or stay and help her.
He chose the latter, because of course he did.
“Here, let me help,” He mumbled out, grabbing the toilet paper out of her hands. Her breath hitched as he started to repeat the same motions she was doing prior, biting his lip softly as he dabbed around her neck to get some of the residue off. With each breath, her breasts moved, and Hyunjin had to force himself to not let his gaze wander down again.
Hyunjin just felt like he was making everything worse than it already was. And this toilet paper is so fucking cheap and thin and breaking apart with every dab on her smooth skin that it had him actually wanting to scream in frustration, because what the actual fuck is he doing right now?
He cleared his throat again, stepping back a little to toss the useless toilet paper in the trash. Her body was stiff, seemingly frozen in place, and Hyunjin decided that he needs to just get the fuck out of here. But before he could sprint out of the bathroom, her voice stopped him.
“You’re my bias.”
Suddenly, everything made sense—the way her face flushed red whenever she looked at him, the way she kept trying to act normal and failing just slightly at the edges. The words should have had him bolting right out the fucking door, but instead, he felt strangely honored. And also ten times worse.
“Me?” He replied dumbly, because what else was he supposed to say?
“I’m sorry,” She let out quickly, voice strained, like she was on the verge of having a breakdown, “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that! I mean, it’s true, but I didn’t mean to just blurt that out! You… make me very nervous. I blurt things out when I’m nervous. I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Please forgive me.”
Hyunjin blinked. And then he blinked again. And still, even with everything blaring in his mind for him to run, he stayed.
“Well, out of all the ways I imagined meeting Stay outside of fan meets, this is definitely the most memorable.”
She huffed out a quiet laugh, and Hyunjin found himself smiling once she visibly relaxed at his words. “For you too?”
“Oh, absolutely,” He replied back quickly, eyes lighting up once he noticed the slight panic fading from her expression each second that passed, “I don’t normally commit beverage crimes, you know.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
“Well, you know, I try to keep my reputation clean.”
She glanced down at her body, where her top and skirt were still soaked from the Coke he spilled on her, raising an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her lips. He realized very quickly he liked this side of her.
“Okay, yeah, I walked right into that one.” He replied immediately, and the giggle that fell from her lips was like a melody in his ears.
A small silence settled between them, but it was no longer awkward like it was before. The panic had faded, replaced by something softer, something quieter.
Hyunjin studied her for a second. She wasn’t freaking out the way he had expected her to. There was no screaming, no asking for ten autographs or pictures at once, no overwhelming energy—just a girl, with a outfit he ruined, trying to clean it in a tiny bathroom, talking to him like he was normal. Well, not exactly normal, but close enough. And it intrigued him more than anything else.
“What’s your name?”
“Y/N,” She replied softly, shyly.
“Y/N,” He repeated her name, the word sounding foreign on his tongue, but beautiful nonetheless. He bowed slightly, “I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I know. Hi,” She whispered out shyly, bowing back, face flushed in a deep pink, and he thought she was the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
He took a small step closer, careful, giving her space, “Let me make it up to you, Y/N.”
His words hung in the air for a moment, and he watched in awe as her smile grew, biting her lip as she looked at him. His eyes glanced down once before looking back at her.
“And how are you going to do that?”
Her voice was teasing, light, a flicker of something in her eyes that Hyunjin couldn’t place. Was she flirting with him? Is he reading too into this? Should he flirt back?
Yes. Yes he should.
“Anything you want,” He responded lowly, feeling sweat forming in his hairline as he maintained eye contact, “Say it, and it’s yours.”
Another beat passed, neither of them moving. Hyunjin was hyper-aware of how easily one step—one small, thoughtless movement—would close the already narrow gap between them. He exhaled slowly, like he was choosing restraint on purpose, eyes flickering back down to her lips that were slightly parted.
“Anything?” She whispered out a response, a little breathless.
“Anything.” He nodded quickly, desperately. He’d get down on his knees and beg for her to touch him if she asked him to.
What is wrong with him?
Y/N tilted her head slightly, studying him now. Her gaze had him feeling weak, burning holes into his skin in the absolute best way. The tension lingered there, unspoken, balanced on the edge of something Hyunjin dared to name. Because once he did, this small, confined space would feel even smaller, and leaving it might become the last thing he would do.
“Maybe…” She trailed off, hands twitching just slightly, almost like she wanted to grab ahold of his, “Maybe… come up to my room with me? Just for a little bit?”
“Yes,” He breathed out, a little embarrassed at how quickly he agreed, but whatever, “Yes. Yeah. Okay. I can do that.”
For a second, Hyunjin forgot about the noise outside, about the lingering glances from people that noticed him, about how Chan was probably looking for him—he forgot about the whole reason he ended up here in the first place. The only thing he could seem to focus on was her.
He stood there for a minute, wondering what the fuck he was getting himself into. Hyunjin knew this was dangerous territory. Not because of her, but because of what this could become. He lived in a world where nothing stayed simple—where even the smallest interest could spiral into headlines, speculation, consequences.
Hyunjin knew better. He really did.
But that wasn’t going to stop him from doing it, anyways.
— SUMMARY. In which Y/N wasn’t expecting to hook-up with her bias, and Hyunjin wasn’t expecting to fall in love with her.
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— GENRE. idol!hyunjin, strangers-to-lovers au
— WC. 12.1k+
— WARNINGS/OTHER. cursing ; korean dialogue ; lots of internal freaking out ; slight angst ; brief mentions of idol life ; alcohol consumption ; smut consisting of: fingering, oral (f! receiving), dom!hyunjin, protected sex, multiple sex positions, lots of dirty talk & “we shouldn’t be doing this” (but they do it, anyway)
ᝰ THREE | SERIES M. LIST
Kilig (Tagalog) — the heady-sublime rush you experience right after after something good happens
“Oh my god,” Y/N whispered out to absolutely no one, her hands flying to her face, immediately feeling how hot her cheeks were, “Oh my god. He’s in my room!”
Hwang Hyunjin was currently in her room in their sorority house. He wasn’t at a concert, or on her laptop screen, or at a fan-signing with tons of security and ten seconds of eye contact. But he was in her room.
She pictured him sitting at her desk chair, glancing at the pictures she had pinned up on the wall, maybe even walking around looking at her albums or shuffling through her books on her desk. God, she hopes he isn’t actually doing that, because Y/N can’t remember if she put her photo card binder up or not, and she would actually die if he manages to see that.
Her mind was spinning, desperately trying to remember if she left anything out of place. Her laptop was closed, still plugged into her desk, her room was clean—well, her side of the room was, so at least he won’t think she’s a slob. She couldn’t speak for Kat.
Y/N groaned softly, immediately straightening up at the kitchen downstairs, grabbing two cups like everything was normal. Except now she was starting to overthink, wondering why the fuck she even offered for him to come up to her room with her in the first place. And most importantly, why did he say yes? Was he into her? What if he’s sitting up there right now in her room, realizing this was a mistake? What if he’s looking around her room thinking he needs to leave immediately because she has a poster from their last album hidden behind her door?
Y/N’s stomach dropped. Did she take that down?
“I took it down. I took it down,” She whispered aloud to herself, feeling like she was going insane, “I definitely took it down.”
Did she, though? Oh no.
Drinks. She had come down here to grab them drinks. And this was a normal thing to do—people did this all the time. Especially while their brain replayed every single fan cam they had ever watched of said person that was currently inside their room. Especially then.
“Y/N!” Kat’s voice flowed through the music behind her, and she jumped slightly before turning around, feeling her heart pounding in her chest once she saw her walking towards her. She had a wide grin on her face, and a quick glance to her right immediately had her figuring out why she looked so happy.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Where have you been?” Kat continued once she got closer, taking a sip out of her drink.
“You know. Just… around.” Y/N swallowed thickly, trying not to stare at who was currently beside her.
“Lame,” She snorted in amusement before nudging her slightly, “Anyway, I promised I would introduce you, so here we are. Y/N, this is Chan. Chan, this is Y/N, my roommate and best friend.”
“I thought I was your best friend?” Chan pouted, gaze never wavering from Kat. Y/N tried to hold back her smile at how annoyed Kat looked, knowing she was anything but.
“You’re my second best friend now because you barely see me anymore,” She rolled her eyes in reply, and Chan scoffed, about to defend himself when she interrupted him, “Anyway. Y/N here is a Stay, as you know. She’s loved you guys since before I met her, and she is literally my girlfriend, so be nice to her or else.”
Y/N felt her face growing even hotter, having the sudden urge to just run into her room and lock herself in it. But if she did that, she’d be stuck in there with Hyunjin.
Oh god. He’s still up there waiting on her.
Chan turned to glance at her then, his eyes widening slightly, almost like he knew something she didn’t. The look of surprise quickly turned into something else as he smirked at her, an amused expression on his face. “Hi, Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you. Thank you for supporting us all these years, and keeping Kat company when I couldn’t.”
Y/N licked her lips nervously, clearing her throat quietly as she shifted a little on her feet. “Nice to meet you, Chan. Huge fan! Loved the last comeback, you all did so well!” She blurted out, immediately cringing because why did she just say that?
Kat snorted again, and Y/N ignored her, gulping loudly as she decided she should just turn back around and start mixing the drinks that she came down here for. She heard Chan and Kat talking behind her, and she took this opportunity to eye the punch a girl from their sorority mixed up earlier, debating if she should trust it or not. She eventually decided not to, choosing instead to mix up her own vodka cranberry, her and Kat’s go to at these things. She ended up adding an extra shot in hers, that way if she falls to knees and makes a complete fool of herself she has a valid excuse for it.
“Why do you have two cups?” Kat asked once she turned back around, fisting both cups in her hands.
Y/N glanced down at the cups, then back up, eyes discreetly shifting towards Chan, who was currently squinting his eyes at her in a way that he just knows that whatever is about to come out of her mouth is bullshit. “I’m going to drink them both.” She replied with a nod of her head, desperately trying to avoid Chan’s gaze on the side of her face.
“Bitch, I know you’re lying.”
“I-I’m not!” Y/N replied back quickly, voice raising slightly, gripping the cups a little tighter.
Kat rolled her eyes, “Come on, Y/N. Just say you have someone upstairs with you and be done with it.”
“What?” She shrieked out, “I-I don’t! There is… there’s nobody up there!”
This time, it was Chan who was snorting, and Y/N felt her face heat up even more when she glanced over at him. “Hm, so if we walk upstairs with you, you’re telling me we won’t find anyone in our room?” Kat asked mockingly, grinning in triumph once Y/N’s face paled at her question.
“You’re so annoying!” Y/N whined out in annoyance, stomping her foot on the floor lightly, knowing she can’t even lie anymore because they’d definitely see that Hyunjin was up there with her. And she doesn’t think Chan would be too happy about that.
“Yeah, yeah,” Kat waved her off, starting to mix her up another drink, “Have fun and don’t get too drunk. I don’t want to listen to you throw up all night.” She turned to Chan once she was done, gesturing for him to follow her to wherever they were going. He instantly followed, but not before turning towards Y/N one more time, a teasing smirk on his lips as he glanced at her one last time over his shoulder.
“Tell Hyunjin he needs to check his phone, please.”
Y/N felt like all the air had suddenly been knocked out of her lungs.
She watched them disappear in the crowd, eye twitching slightly, willing herself to calm the fuck down. He was definitely just messing with her. There’s no way he actually knew that Hyunjin was currently up in her room waiting on her to return with their drinks. There is absolutely no way.
“Okay,” She breathed out to herself, clutching the two plastic cups in her hands tighter, staring down at them like they might offer guidance, “This is fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
Everything was, in fact, not fine.
Her heart was pounding so hard as she started walking out of the kitchen that it felt ridiculous. Y/N had imagined meeting Hyunjin before, multiple times. She imagined meeting him at a fan-signing or across a barricade at a concert, but not like this—not at one of her sorority parties, and definitely not with him casually waiting in her bedroom like it was no big deal. Did he do this a lot? Why does he seem completely unaffected while she’s currently freaking the fuck out?
Each step up the stairs felt louder than it should have, the music still blaring in her ears. Someone had suddenly bumped into her shoulder as they passed her, sloshing one of the drinks dangerously close to the rim. She flinched, tightening her grip, exhaling sharply as she closed her eyes for a second, really trying to pull herself together. She opened them again, walking up the rest of the stairs slowly, and by the time she had finally reached the top, her pulse had climbed into her throat.
The hallway was slightly quieter, the bass fading into a distant thud. She kept walking towards the back of the hall, freezing in her steps once she saw her door was slightly open, a thin line of warm light spilling into the dark.
She stopped just before it. For a second, she thought about running back downstairs to down a couple of shots so she could just forget about this insane situation she was currently in. But she couldn’t do that—she wouldn’t do that. So she took in a deep breath, and nudged the door open with her hip, bracing herself for the worst.
Her heart stopped in her chest once she saw him. He was standing up, glancing at the numerous pictures she had pinned up on the wall in front of her desk, casually looking at them like he had all the time in the world. She tried to ignore the way her entire body felt hot when she noticed he was staring particularly hard at the picture of her and Kat at the beach, holding giant margaritas in their hands with their matching bikinis on.
She shifted a little on her feet, and he glanced up when he heard her, expression easing into a small smile, “Hi. I thought you abandoned me for a second there.”
Her brain briefly stopped working. Then, by some miracle, she had stepped inside fully, nudging the door shut behind her with her foot, holding the drinks steady.
“There was a, um, long line in the kitchen,” She managed to reply without her voice betraying her, and Hyunjin nodded like that made perfect sense.
“Oh, here, let me help you,” Hyunjin walked towards her with rushed steps. He took one of the cups, their fingers brushing for half a second, and she really hoped the lighting was dim enough to hide how warm her face suddenly felt.
“Did it spill on you?” He asked, referring to how her hand was covered in the drink from where someone had knocked into her going up the stairs.
“Oh, yeah. Someone bumped into me, but it’s fine,” She shrugged her shoulders in reply before glancing towards him with a small grin, “Not the first time that’s happened tonight.”
Hyunjin’s eyes glanced down her body briefly, and she couldn’t help the way her thighs clenched together, hoping he didn’t notice. However, the faint smirk that played on his lips as he glanced back at her told her he did.
“I should probably change,” Y/N blurted out suddenly, nervously, and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, expression fading into something guilty as he nodded quickly.
“Oh, yes. I suppose that would be a wise choice,” He nodded quickly in reply, looking around the room a couple times, like he didn’t know what to do, “Should I, um, stand outside your door while you change?”
“Oh, no, you don’t have to! You already committed to the whole ruin my outfit thing tonight, so you might as well see it through.” She replied without thinking, cringing internally once those words left her mouth, because why did she say that?
Hyunjin let out a small, surprised laugh, and the sound rang heavenly in her ears. She turned away before he could see how much he was visibly affecting her, carefully setting her drink down on her desk before heading towards her drawer to pull it open, pretending to look for something to distract herself from her thoughts racing in her head.
“Yeah, I’m just going to have to wash this,” She spoke aloud more to herself than to him, glancing down her body one more time before standing back up, “Wait here. I’ll be back.”
Y/N slipped into the bathroom, closing the door halfway before leaning against the sink for half a second, trying to steady her breathing. She caught her reflection in the mirror—flushed, wide-eyed, very obviously trying to hold it together—and she let out a quiet laugh in disbelief, because what was her life right now?
It almost felt like one of those cringy scenarios she’s made up in her head before, because never in a million years would she be expecting to see Hwang Hyunjin at one of her sorority parties, standing in her room, patiently waiting on her to come out of the bathroom. It felt like a crazy K-Drama. It didn’t feel real.
She tried to shake off her nerves and sudden feeling of overwhelmingness by distracting herself with taking off her top and sliding her skirt down her legs. She cringed at the wet feeling, her skin a little sticky from where the Coke had been sitting there for too long, and she shivered at the coolness of the air, her nipples immediately hardening.
She threw her clothes into the dirty hamper they keep in the bathroom, turning around to grab her clean clothes to put on. Only when she glanced around to see where they were, they were nowhere in sight.
Y/N blinked. Did she not bring any of her clothes in here?
“Fucking fantastic,” She whispered to herself when coming to the realization that she did, in fact, forget to bring her clothes into the bathroom with her. And not only that, but she was now very much naked, with a very much real Hyunjin still waiting outside the door.
Fucking fantastic.
“Hey,” She called out for him without thinking, forcing her voice back to something steady, “I’m sorry for asking this, but do you mind grabbing one of my t-shirts in that drawer I left open? I have some shorts in the drawer below it too, if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, sure.” His voice sounded a lot closer than she expected, and she jumped slightly, willing herself to get it the fuck together.
She heard him shuffling through her clothes and immediately wanted to throw herself out of the window. She should have just put her clothes back on and walked back out there herself. She’s probably making him so uncomfortable right now, and that’s the last thing she wants to do.
“Here,” His voice knocked her out of her thoughts, soft and low, and it had goosebumps immediately forming on her bare skin. She cleared her throat slightly, stepping behind the door as she opened it up just enough to reach out to grab ahold of the clothes. Their fingers brushed against each other as he handed it over, and it sent a ridiculous jolt up her arm.
“Thank you,” She shrieked out, quickly pulling her arm back and cracking the door back.
“Mhm,” He mumbled back, footsteps moving away from the door.
Y/N released a long breath, leaning over to place the clothes on the closed toilet seat. However, she suddenly froze upon realizing that what she was currently holding in her hands definitely was not one of her t-shirts, but a black hoodie that she knew didn’t belong to her.
She stared at it for a second, mouth gaped open in slight shock, feeling her entire face flush red. Did he just give her his own hoodie? His own hoodie from his back?
Holy shit.
“Um, Hyunjin?” She called his name again, heart beating out of her chest as she inspected the hoodie in her hands like it was one of her lab specimens from her biology class freshman year.
“Yes?” His reply was instant, slightly distant, feet shuffling towards the door again, making her want to vomit.
“This isn’t… this hoodie isn’t mine,” She squeaked out embarrassingly.
“Oh, yes, it’s mine,” He replied back like it was the most casual thing ever to lend her his own hoodie, “I just thought you might be cold in just shorts and a t-shirt. You can keep it, if you want. It’s the least I can do, since I did ruin your outfit.”
Y/N felt like she was about to pass out. How is this even real right now?
Y/N didn’t reply right away, staring at the hoodie like it might disappear if she blinked too hard. Did Hwang Hyunjin just say she could wear his hoodie? And not only that, but keep it?
Holy. Shit.
“I am sorry,” He spoke again through the door, knocking her out of her trance she was in, “I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I can bring you a t-shirt. Give me one second.”
“No!” She yelled out instantly, cringing at how desperate she sounded, “I-I mean, it’s okay! That’s very thoughtful of you to do that. Thank you. I’ll wear it.”
She gulped loudly, quickly sliding on the pair of black shorts he had picked out for her before slipping the hoodie over her head. She got a whiff of his cologne instantly, and wanted to scream at how good he smelled.
The hoodie swallowed her whole, covering her shorts completely. At a glance in the mirror, it looked like she wasn’t even wearing any shorts at all, and she found herself blushing again at that thought. The sleeves of his hoodie covered her hands, and she brushed through her hair once before releasing another deep breath, feeling wildly insane, because how is this actually happening right now?
After slightly panicking for half a second, she opened the door, closing it back softly behind her as she walked back into her room. Hyunjin was standing near the bed, fidgeting with his baseball cap that Y/N just now realized he took off, her eyes widening slightly as she took a good look at him. He was now only in a white t-shirt, slightly baggy at the bottom, his bare arms now on display. His hair was long, messily tucked behind his ears, and it looked so soft. Blonde hair suited him well, and it was always one of her favorite looks of his. He was so beautiful that she couldn’t bring herself to look away now that she has a much better view of his face.
“Hm,” He hummed out lightly, catching her attention as she jumped slightly, “It suits you well.”
Y/N felt her mouth go dry. “Oh,” She breathed out, feeling her hands start to sweat, “Thank you. You… smell really good.”
Hyunjin must have saw how embarrassed she looked once those words left her mouth as he grinned in amusement, a low chuckle falling from his lips that made her weak at the knees.
She should sit down.
“You can sit on my bed,” She gestured to the bed quickly, walking over to the desk to grab his drink that was now sitting beside hers. He must have placed it there, “I don’t mind at all. You can put your hat on the bed, too, or on the desk. Whatever you want.”
“Okay. Thank you,” He smiled again, cautiously sitting down on the edge of her bed, sitting his hat behind him. Y/N held his drink out towards him, her hand shaking slightly as she did so, his fingers brushing against hers once again and shooting that same spark up her entire arm. She tried to ignore it, taking a step back to grab ahold of her own drink before sinking down to the floor in front of him, sitting crisscross applesauce. It felt easier sitting here than thinking about how close he was if she sat beside him.
He noticed, because of course he did.
“Do you always sit on the floor?” He asked, slightly confused, slightly curious.
“Only when I don’t trust myself to act normal,” She blurted out a reply.
“Oh,” He raised an eyebrow, “That bad?”
Y/N tilted her head, considering his words, licking her lips nervously, “It was. I think I’m stabilizing now, though.”
“Good,” A small smile tugged at his mouth. Y/N nodded in reply, taking a small sip of her drink in attempts to distract herself. She could feel his gaze on her, and it made her entire body feel hot.
He shifted suddenly, and Y/N glanced back at him to see that he was now sliding off her bed to sit on the floor beside her.
She blinked. “You don’t have to—“
“I know,” He interrupted her gently, mirroring her position. His knee brushed against hers ever so slightly, “It feels less uneven like this. And I just… want to be beside you.”
His slight confession had her wanting to melt into this floor. She glanced at him again, suddenly no longer seeing him as the person she had watched perform on stage through her laptop screen, but as someone choosing to sit on her bedroom floor with her so she wouldn’t feel out of place.
“Thank you,” She said quietly, and he nodded once, like it wasn’t a big deal.
Y/N watched as he moved his gaze towards the drink in his hands, staring at it like he was debating whether he wanted to drink it or not. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to. It won’t offend me,” She piped up beside him, and he glanced over at her once before focusing back on the liquid in the cup.
“It’s not that. I just… I’m not really allowed to drink alcohol,” He confessed quietly, and Y/N immediately started to feel bad for making him one in the first place.
“But I won’t tell if you don’t,” He added in quickly, lips curling into a faint smirk as he flicked his gaze back over to her.
“Of course I won’t. I signed a NDA, remember?” She laughed out, taking another sip of her drink, “I just don’t want you to get in trouble. Or do something you don’t want to.”
“I couldn’t care less about that,” He mumbled to himself before taking a small sip. Something about the way he said it had her chest feeling tight.
He hummed at the taste, eyebrows raising as he took another sip. “You’re not even going to ask me what’s in it?” Y/N asked teasingly, shifting her body a little, her knee brushing against his again.
“Don’t need to. If you made it, I’m sure it’s good,” He shrugged his shoulders, licking his lips once he pulled the cup away from his mouth, “Plus, I trust you. I know you won’t poison me.”
“That’s… very bold of you to assume,” She smirked at him slightly, trying to appear completely un-fazed at his words when she’s anything but.
“Hm. Is it?” He grinned, tilting his head to the side as he peered at her over the rim of his cup. He looked so pretty Y/N had a really hard time believing he was actually real.
His eyes glanced back over towards the pictures above her desk, flicking his head in their direction, “You are Kat’s roommate?”
“Yeah, I am,” She followed his gaze before glancing back over at him, “We’ve been best friends since our freshman year here. The messier side of the room is hers, if you can’t tell.”
“She is just like Chan,” Hyunjin shook his head in amusement as his eyes raked over her side of the room briefly, “Chan is also messy. No wonder they get along so well.”
At the mention of Chan, Y/N suddenly thought back to his comment he made earlier while they were in the kitchen. She chewed on her lip, debating if she should bring it up or not.
“Does Chan know you’re up here with me?” She decided to ask instead, chewing on her bottom lip softly.
“No,” He replied quietly, tracing the rim of his cup with one of his fingers, “I… didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell anyone.”
Y/N nodded, this weird feeling overcoming her all of a sudden. She almost felt guilty, in a way, as they both know he definitely shouldn’t be up here with her right now, sitting beside her so casually, drinking alcohol like it wasn’t a big deal. She shouldn’t have invited him up to her room with her. She’s being selfish by keeping him up here.
“You are overthinking,” Hyunjin’s voice was soft, eyes gentle, “Don’t. There are many things I’m not allowed to do. This is just the first time in a long time I decided I don’t want to listen.”
Y/N smiled at that, and he mirrored her expression instantly. His smile was so beautiful that it had her heart doing flips in her chest over and over again.
“I’m really glad you’re up here with me,” Y/N spoke shyly, sitting her cup on the floor in front of her, lightly tracing the sleeve of his hoodie.
“Me too,” The way he said it was so genuine that it pulled at something tight in her chest. His eyes were dancing across her face, trailing down her body briefly before looking back at her. She felt her neck flush.
“Can I ask you something?”
Y/N nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak. He was looking at her more carefully now, like he was choosing his next words cautiously, “Why do you like us?”
She didn’t answer right away. It wasn’t the question herself that had her stuck, but it was the fact that he was asking her. She’d been asked that question before in passing conversations with friends or online, but coming from him, sitting here with him like this, it felt different. It felt less like small talk, and more like he actually wanted to understand.
“That’s a dangerous question,” Her lips quirked, mindlessly picking at the edge of the plastic cup.
“How so?”
“If I say something embarrassing, I won’t be able to take it back.”
He chuckled lightly, taking another sip of his drink, “I won’t use it against you. Probably.”
“Wow. That’s reassuring.”
“No, I’m serious,” He laughed, adjusting his body a little closer towards her. She noticed the small action, biting her lip to hide her grin.
“Well, obviously, the music is great. And the way you all perform on stage is truly mesmerizing. You can tell you work so hard to give your best every time, and I find that very admirable,” She glanced away from him then, like she was embarrassed to be saying this out loud, “But it was also just more like… consistently, I guess. Like, no matter what was going on in my life, there was always something new to look forward to. A song, a video, even just updates on Bubble.”
She shrugged, a little self-conscious now, “It sounds weird when I say it out loud.”
“It doesn’t,” He replied quickly, and Y/N glanced back up at him shyly.
“It really doesn’t,” He repeated himself, a little quieter this time, and Y/N swallowed thickly, feeling very hot under his gaze.
“I think it was also… the feeling that someone out there was working hard, even when I wasn’t. Or when I couldn’t. It made me feel… less stuck, I guess.”
Y/N hated how vulnerable her words came out, and she cleared her throat slightly, shifting a little before bringing the drink back up to her lips, taking a small sip. Hyunjin was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite make out, his head tilted just slightly as he listened to her. He looked so endearing like this.
“Do you… ever feel stuck?” She found herself asking, immediately regretting the words once they came out of her mouth. She had no business prying into his personal life like this.
“All the time,” He answered before Y/N could apologize for her question, the honestly of it catching her completely off guard. He let out a quiet breath, leaning his head back against the side of her bed, “I mean, it’s a different kind of stuck, but it’s still there.”
“How?”
He was quiet for a second, like he was deciding what to say, eyes trailing across her face once again. “Sometimes, it feels like everything is already decided for me. What I do, where I go, how I act. Even how I’m supposed to feel about things,” He gave a small, almost self-aware laugh, “There’s always a version of me that people expect, and it’s just… easier to stay in it.”
Y/N nodded slowly, feeling a pang in her chest at how tired his expression was, at how strained his voice was. She can’t even begin to imagine what he has to go through—what idols have to go through—on a daily basis. She wanted to reach out and grab ahold of his hand, give him a safe space to vent if he needed to, but held herself back. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, and it wouldn’t be appropriate.
“People think they know me, or know a version of me,” He tilted his head towards her, eyes catching the low light the lamp spread across the room, “Which version of me do you like better?”
His words had her breath catching in her throat, her body going stiff. There was an unreadable look in his eyes, but an underlying sense of vulnerability hidden in the way he said it.
“I don’t know this one yet.”
Her words hung in the air for a minute, and Y/N wondered for a second if she shouldn’t have said that.
“Then ask me something else.”
Y/N hesitated, but only for a second. “Are you happy?”
“That’s what you go with?” Hyunjin laughed quietly, although there was no actual humor behind it.
Y/N felt her cheeks heating up in slight embarrassment, “You said to ask you something else. That’s my question.”
He studied her for a long moment, almost like he was deciding whether to give her the truth or something else, his gaze burning her skin. “Sometimes, yes. I’m happy on stage, around the members, and in certain moments,” He replied softly, fingers tracing the rim of the solo cup absentmindedly, “But… it’s complicated.”
“Yeah, I can imagine,” Y/N nodded her head lightly, “You don’t look like someone who gets to be just one thing, you know? That kind of life… your kind of life… it just stretches you.”
Something in Hyunjin’s expression softened at that, and he shifted a little closer towards her. “You’re good at that.”
“At what?”
“Seeing people.”
Y/N shrugged, suddenly feeling very shy under his gaze and close proximity, “Only when they let me.”
He didn’t say anything. The back of her neck felt hot, and she cleared her throat awkwardly, taking another sip of her drink as she avoided his reaction. She could feel his gaze boring holes into the side of her face, and it had her pulse drumming against her skin.
“What about you? Are you happy?” He asked lowly, the tone of his voice causing her to visibly shiver.
“You don’t have to ask me that just because I did,” She laughed quietly, trying to act like the question didn’t even faze her, lower-half of her face still covered by her cup.
“I’m not. I’m asking because I want to.”
She lowered the cup slowly, working up the courage to flicker her eyes back towards him. There was something different in his expression now, focusing entirely on her in a way that made her chest tighten.
“I think I’m still figuring that out,” She admitted softly, “I guess I’m kind of like you, in a way. I feel like I spend a lot of time doing what I’m supposed to do, and not what I want to do.”
“And what do you want to do?” His response was instant, the question lingering in the air. Her fingers tightened slightly around the cup at the intensity of his gaze.
“Right now?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Hyunjin placed his drink down on the floor beside him carefully before leaning in towards her. It wasn’t close enough to close the space between them, but it was close enough that she could feel the warmth of him, and that was enough to have her spiraling.
“Yeah,” He murmured out, his breath lightly fanning her face, “Right now.”
Y/N’s pulse picked up, sudden and undeniable. She could feel it in her throat, in her wrist, in her neck, everywhere. Her eyes searched his face, looking for any trace of amusement, anything to show her he was just messing with her right now. But there was nothing. It was just him, waiting.
“I want for you to stop looking at me like that.”
His lips curved into a smirk, slow and knowing, “Like what?”
“Like you already know my answer.” She breathed out, breathless, feeling like her head was spinning.
He inched closer, softly grabbing her own drink from her slightly trembling hands, eyes never leaving hers as he gently placed it down on the floor next to his. Y/N noticed that he had intentionally placed them a good bit out of their reach, and couldn’t help the way her thighs clenched at that realization. His eyes flickered down to them once before he was looking back into her own, gaze darkening into something she had only seen in his intense choreographies—that same gaze that had always drawn her towards him. Except now, instead of it focusing on a camera, it was focused directly on her.
“Maybe I do.”
Her breath caught in her throat when he moved closer, hands lightly brushing against hers where it now rested on the floor. “I think…” He trailed off lowly, eyes dropping briefly towards her lips, then back up, “I think you want me a little closer than this.”
He let his hand settle fully over hers now, his thumb tracing a slow, absentminded line along the back of her hand. She felt her throat closing up, his touch shooting sparks up her entire body, and she felt like she was really about to pass out now.
“And?” She asked, barely breathing now.
His hand moved from the back of her hand to rest against her inner thigh, the contact against her bare skin making her body jolt. Her lips parted, leg twitching just slightly, and he leaned in a little closer, his scent making her feel dizzy.
“And I think… you want me to kiss you, to touch you, to make you feel good,” His hand traveled a little higher up, brushing against the hem of her shorts, “Am I right?”
“Yes,” She whined out, not even embarrassed at how desperate she sounded, “You… you already know you are.”
She un-crossed her legs, leaning her body back, and Hyunjin immediately crawled in-between them, chasing her mouth with his. His lips brushed against hers ever so softly. Y/N couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped her mouth from the slight contact, because is he about to kiss her right now?
Holy shit.
“This is a bad idea,” She let out without thinking, feeling her nerves eating at her entire body.
Hyunjin let out a soft breath, almost a laugh, but it carried the same tension twisting in her chest, “Definitely. But I really don’t give a fuck.”
Her legs clamped around his body at his words, a soft whine falling from her lips as she leaned her head back, closing her eyes briefly, attempting to steady her breathing. She gasped loudly once she felt his lips lightly grazing the exposed skin of her neck, eyes shooting open in slight shock, leaning back on her hands. The tension that had been simmering between them snapped into something undeniable—heat, urgency, a kind of reckless honestly that neither of them had allowed before.
She was breathing heavy, tilting her head to the side to give him better access, biting her lip as she felt his lips kiss up towards her ear oh so slowly. “Do you want me?” He breathed out lowly.
“Yes,” She replied instantly, the word coming out breathless and whiny, “I want you so bad. You know how much I want you, Hyunjin. Please.”
That seemed to be what he needed to hear, because within seconds, his mouth was clashing into hers with so much force that it had her falling back onto the floor behind them. He came down with her, caging her in, a low moan rumbling in his chest as his mouth worked against her own. His hand slid underneath her shorts, grazing lightly against her panties, the other holding his body up.
“Is this okay?” He breathed out into her mouth, finger just barely brushing against her clit.
“Yes, yes, please,” She whined out, spreading her legs more for him, feeling dazed as fuck.
He didn’t waste any time in slipping his hand underneath her panties, both of them moaning out at the feeling. He dipped a finger in her pussy before moving it up to start circling her clit, working fast against her.
“Ssibal,” (Fuck), Hyunjin moaned out lowly, the sound sending shivers down her spine in the absolute best way, “You are… so wet. Is this for me?”
“Y-yes,” She cried out, hips jerking up with each hard flick against her clit, “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” He let out in complete disbelief, Y/N’s hands turning into fists beside her, already feeling like she was about to cum all over his finger—just one finger, “Do not be sorry about that. I want you to drench my entire hand. Understand?”
His words only had her dripping down her thighs even more. Y/N nodded rapidly, feeling too worked up to properly reply, and he cursed again, suddenly pulling his hand out of her shorts completely. Y/N whined at the loss of contact, feeling slightly embarrassed as she glanced at him. Did she do something wrong?
“I need to see you,” He breathed out, pupils blown wide, “Will you let me?”
It took her a second to figure out what he meant, quickly nodding her head back and forth, as if she’d ever deny him anything.
Her hips lifted as he grabbed ahold of her shorts, quickly tugging them down her legs, along with her panties, leaving her completely bare from the waist down—completely bare for him from the waist down.
She suddenly felt hyper-aware at the fact that her pussy was now very much in his direct view and that she was, embarrassingly enough, dripping onto her floor. She felt her face turning red, felt his hands creeping back in-between her thighs to spread them wider for him, and she couldn’t even bring herself to be embarrassed once she felt his fingers on her again.
“Is this okay?” Hyunjin rasped out, fingers working against her clit in a way that had her vision starting to blur.
“Yes, yes, fuck,” She moaned out, throwing her head back against the floor, eyes screwing shut as she started to grind against his hand. She heard him moan lowly before inserting two fingers inside her, the slight stretch making her let out a low moan.
“Fuck, neo jinjja wiheomhae,” (You’re really dangerous) Hyunjin moaned out lowly, thrusting his fingers in and out at a pace that had her feeling hot, “So wet… you are soaking in my fingers. How does it feel? Hm? Malhae.” (Tell me).
“S-so good. Feels so good… I think I’m g-gonna… oh fuck,” She babbled out, his fingers hitting that sweet spot inside her so perfectly that it had her back arching, her mouth falling open as a warmth flooded through her entire body.
“Not yet,” He grunted out, abruptly slipping his fingers out of her pussy. She let out a loud whine at the sudden loss of contact, feeling like she could cry from how quickly her orgasm was taken away from her.
“Hyunjin,” She whined out his name, desperately rubbing her legs together to chase some sort of friction that he deprived her from, “Why… why did you stop?”
He didn’t reply. Y/N felt his body moving, felt his hands trailing down her legs as he gently held them open, and she opened her eyes to glance at him to see what he was doing. She couldn’t help the loud gasp that escaped her mouth when she saw him.
He was lying on his stomach, one hand softly resting against her left thigh, the other spreading her lips apart as he gazed at her pussy so intensely. She could feel his warm breath lightly fanning against her pussy, his lips parted as he watched his fingers move against her.
“Hyunjin,” She whimpered out, squirming a little at his gaze, really trying not to cum all over his face right now because what the fuck?
“Want to taste you. Been wanting to taste you all night,” He admitted lowly, tilting his head slightly as he licked his lips, finger flicking against her clit, causing a moan to fall from her lips, “Want you to cum on my mouth so bad. Will you?”
And fuck, if he doesn’t do something soon, Y/N is literally going to cum on his pretty face completely untouched.
“You can do anything you want to me,” She breathed out, not even caring how needy she sounded, “Just make me cum, please.”
“So needy, jagiya,” (Baby), He smirked, rubbing her thigh softly, face inching even closer to her pussy. Y/N understood what that word meant, feeling like she was about to combust for real this time, because only in her deepest, darkest dreams has she imagined him calling her that.
“Oh, fuck,” She moaned out once he licked a long stripe up her pussy, her hips jerking at the feeling. His tongue was so warm and soft and wet against her that it had her hands immediately reaching down to grip at the back of his head.
“S-sorry,” She breathed out once she realized what she just did, her hands letting go of his head as she balled them into fists beside her. He grunted into her, hands wrapping around her own as he guided them back towards the back of his head, Y/N’s fingers twitching at how soft his hair was.
“You can touch me, jagiya,” He mumbled against her, squeezing her hands once before letting go, “You can do whatever you want to me.”
Y/N didn’t even have time to react before his mouth was back on her, lapping against her entrance, moaning into her with every flick of his tongue. She tugged harshly at his hair, back arching in absolute bliss as he rapidly flicked his tongue against her clit, two of his fingers curling up into her pussy, instantly hitting that same spot that had her moaning out his name.
“Na jom bwa,” (Look at me) Hyunjin let out in-between flicks of his tongue, adding in a third finger and thrusting into her at a pace that had her eyes starting to roll in the back of her head, “I want to see your pretty face when you fall apart for me.”
She whined out his name, willing herself to glance down at him. That same warmth that flooded through her earlier came back at full force once she saw him quite literally devouring her pussy like it’s the best thing he’s tasted, his gaze dark, sensual, completely focused on her. “Yes. Nahante jipjunghae,” (Eyes on me) He hummed into her, lips curling around her clit and sucking so hard that it had her seeing stars.
She came with a loud cry of his name, body spazzing out completely as she tightened her legs around his face, riding out her high by grinding onto his face. She kept moaning out his name, felt his hands rubbing up and down her thighs as he moved his head in perfect sync with her hips, still eating her pussy like it’s the only thing he knows how to do.
Y/N felt like her soul just left her entire body. She felt like she was floating, her body felt limp, and her pussy was fluttering in all the right ways.
She leaned her head back on the ground, trying to steady her breathing, eyes glancing up at the ceiling. She felt so wet, could feel her cum and Hyunjin’s spit dripping in-between her thighs. She should have been embarrassed—mortified, even. But Hyunjin just gave her quite literally the best orgasm she’s ever had in her entire life, and she feels like she could now die in peace.
He was moving up her body, leaving light kisses against her legs as he made his way up, humming against her skin softly. Her eyes fluttered shut once she felt his hands slowly lifting up his hoodie, leaving a trail of kisses all over her stomach before pulling the fabric back down to cover her, stuffing his face into the side of her neck.
“Feel good?” He asked lowly into her ear, kissing just below her earlobe.
“Yes, so good,” Y/N breathed out, leaning her head to the side to give him more room. He hummed against her neck, his hands softly playing with the bottom of his hoodie.
“Was that okay?”
“Yes, definitely okay,” She replied quickly, trying to swallow down the dryness in her throat, “You made me feel so good, Hyunjin.”
He leaned his face up, and Y/N turned her head to face him, breath hitching in her throat at how close they were. His entire mouth was glistening in her cum, his lips slightly swollen and parted, and Y/N had the sudden urge to kiss him and taste herself on him. So, she did.
He kissed her back with just as much desperation, head tilting as he kissed her deeper, his hand coming up to rest behind her neck, guiding her into him. Hyunjin was such a good kisser. She could kiss him every single day for the rest of her life and be more than content.
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” She breathed out a moan in his mouth, his teeth clashing against hers.
“Probably not,” He agreed, yet it didn’t stop him.
Y/N bit his bottom lip softly, leaning up to crawl in-between his legs and into his lap, gasping into his mouth once she felt how hard he was through his jeans. Her hands were tightly clutching the bottom of his t-shirt, his dick rocking against her pussy, and she felt her head spinning.
Hyunjin gripped her hips, guiding her to grind against his dick, pupils blown wide as he gazed down at her, “Do you still want me, jagiya?”
“You know I do, Hyunjin,” She whined out, his dick hitting against her clit just right that it had her entire body lighting up again.
He stopped her movements against him, and she glanced at him, very confused and slightly nervous, watching as he studied her for a second before flicking his head over towards her bed.
“Can you get on the bed for me?”
Y/N nodded her head, moving off his body as Hyunjin stood up, his hands reaching out towards her as he helped her stand. Her legs felt like jello, slightly unbalanced in his grip, no doubt a side effect of the mind-blowing orgasm she just had. His hands trailed down towards her hips, jerking her body towards him as he dug his face back into the side of her neck, softly nipping at the skin as he led them both towards the bed.
The back of her knees suddenly hit the edge of the bed and she gasped in surprise once he pushed her to sit down. He kicked her legs apart, standing between them, looking down at her with a gaze so hungry that it had her pussy clenching around nothing.
“Scoot back for me,” He lightly commanded, gripping the bottom of his t-shirt, slowly pulling it over his head.
Y/N couldn’t help the small shriek that escaped her mouth at the sight of his bare chest, eyes seemingly mesmerized at how beautiful he was. His skin was so smooth, so defined, so lean, that it had her wanting—no, needing—to touch him all over and make him feel as good as he just made her. Without thinking, she placed her hands on his lower abdomen, moaning lightly as she traced his abs with his fingers before tugging at the button of his jeans.
He swat her hands away, the action startling her, her face immediately flushing in embarrassment. She had opened her mouth to stutter out a string of apologies, when his low voice interrupted her.
“I said, scoot back on the bed. Maybe if you listen to me, you will get what you want, hm?”
It was embarrassing how fast she obeyed him, scrambling backwards on the bed, legs clamped shut in front of her. “Mal jal deutne,” (You listen so well) He grinned, hands slowly coming down to tease at the button on his jeans, her breath hitching in her throat.
Hyunjin cocked his head to the side, popping the button off as he watched her intently, “Take my hoodie off.”
Y/N hesitated, but only for a second before gripping the bottom of the hoodie, holding her breath once she slipped it over her head. Heat pooled in-between her legs once she forced herself to look at him again, his gaze dark as his eyes danced across her chest.
“Fuck,” He mumbled out, toying with the zipper on his jeans. His eyes traveled back up towards her face, “Are you sure you want this? With me?”
Y/N felt her heart fall into her ass. Is she sure? She’s never been so sure of anything in her entire life.
“Yes,” She breathed out, voice slightly wavering despite her attempts of keeping it even, “I want you, Hyunjin.”
He let out a pleased hum, slowly stepping out of his jeans, leaving him in just his Calvin’s. Y/N’s eyes instantly settled in-between his legs, whimpering at how thick and delicious he looked straining against his briefs. She rubbed her thighs together even harder, feeling like she could cum from just looking at him, because how can someone look like this?
“Spread your legs for me, jagiya, and let me see how much you really want me.” He commanded lowly, goosebumps forming on her skin from the tone of his voice—a stark contrast from what she was used to watching him online.
The cool air against her pussy made her shiver once she spread her legs, and he groaned lowly, sinking down into the bed as he began to crawl towards her, immediately clashing his mouth against hers as he settled his body on top of her. Her hands instantly tangled themselves in his long hair, tugging at the soft strands, pulling him even closer.
His lips were like heaven. They were so soft and so plush and he tasted so good in her mouth that she couldn’t get enough.
“You are… so addicting,” He mumbled into her mouth, his hands reaching between them to tug his underwear down. His cock sprang free, rubbing against her pussy as she shifted her hips up, and she gasped into him, grinding her hips up against him more. She didn’t dare look down. She thinks she might black out if she did.
He cursed into her mouth, their teeth clashing against each other, and she shivered once she felt the head of cock lightly brushing her entrance. “Can I… will you let me fuck you?” He panted out, forehead resting against hers as he stared at her.
“Yes, yes, please,” She babbled out, high on adrenaline and everything Hwang Hyunjin, “Please fuck me, Hyunjin. Please, please,”
“Condoms?” He strained out, looking like he was this close to losing his mind.
“In… in the drawer…” She breathed out, feeling like if he doesn’t grab it fast enough, she would, too.
As soon as he pulled off of her, he was already back on her before she could properly form a thought. She watched him, legs spread and pussy clenching, as he rolled the condom on his very large cock, her eyes about to pop out of her head from how delicious he looked doing it. He winced once he got it on, crawling back in-between her legs to rub his cock against her.
“It’s a little snug, but it’ll do,” He smirked lightly, biting his lip as he sat back on the heels of his feet, watching his cock glide between her folds.
Y/N flushed at his comment, hips jolting once he started to circle the head of his cock against her clit. “So wet for me… always so wet for me,” He hummed, a little dazed, “You’ve been wanting this for a while, yes? Wanting me?”
Y/N felt her cheeks burning, biting her lip, refusing to answer him. “Please… please…”
“Answer me,” He slapped her pussy with his cock, and she moaned loudly, the bass outside her door thumping in sync with her heartbeat, “Tell me. Tell me how obsessed you are with me, and I’ll fuck this pretty pussy.”
“I… I’ve wanted this for so long,” She strained out, face flushed hot, gasping once she felt the head of his dick slowly slipping in, the slight stretch making her feel insane, “Fuck… A-always knew you were my bias, even when I watched your D-District 9 performance… I-I was mesmerized by the way you rapped, the way your body moved, h-how much stage presence you carried,”
He slipped inside her a little bit more, a long moan falling from her lips as he urged her to keep going. “B-but it’s not just the obvious things. It’s the parts of you that don’t feel practiced… the parts of you that happen when you think nobody is paying attention,” She breathed out, holding his gaze, “I’ve been paying attention.”
Silence settled in, but it felt intentional—it felt close. He was still gazing down at her, one hand on the base of his dick, the other resting against her thigh. His eyes were flickering with something Y/N couldn’t make out, and she clenched around him once he moved forward ever so slightly.
“I think those things matter. How you never interrupt people when you have something to say. And when you laugh, there’s always that half-second where you process it first, like it has to be real before you let yourself react,” She whined out softly, knowing this is probably the worst time to say all of this but it’s her truth, “They matter because they’re honest. You don’t smooth them out or hide them. It just… it makes you feel real to me.”
“You feel real to me, too,” He groaned lowly, leaning his body over hers to catch her lips in his own. Her legs wrapped around his waist, hands coming up to rest at the back of his neck. She dug her heels into his ass, urging him to push all the way into her, his head falling into the crook of her neck.
“This is a bad idea,” He roughly mumbled into her neck, hands tightening around her hips.
“Yeah,” Y/N breathed, heart pounding in her throat, hands loosening just slightly on the back of his head.
He raised his head to look at her again, and whatever he saw there made his expression soften for her for half a second before it disappeared again under something more intense.
Then he was kissing her again, with zero hesitation this time. He kissed her like he wanted to, like there was no more pretending that they didn’t know exactly what they were doing. She pulled him closer, as if there had never been a chance she wouldn’t. His dick slid past her folds, stretching her open a little bit more. She moaned his name again, soft, pleading, desperate.
“You are… so beautiful, Y/N,” He let out softly, a little breathless, his hands gently caressing her thighs as he held onto them, “Neoneun naega bon saram junge gajang areumdawo,” (You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen).
The words she wanted to say to him got caught in her throat once he bottomed out completely, the feel of him making her eyes cross. His moan was so loud, so deep and guttural, that it had her clenching around him instantly, provoking another sound to ring oh so heavenly in her ears.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so tight,” He hissed out, hotly panting into her skin.
Y/N moaned in response, feeling so full with him inside her, hands rubbing all over his shoulders, his arms, his back, everywhere. She hasn’t slept with someone in so long that she almost forgot what it even felt like, not that she has hooked-up with many people to begin with. But even then, nothing could compare to how perfect Hyunjin’s cock was stuffing her full right now.
“Hyunjin,” She whimpered his name out, feeling like she might die if he doesn’t move soon.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” He replied instantly, grip tight on her hips, his breath coming out in rapid pants against her neck, “I’m so sorry. It’s been awhile, for me. I just need a second, otherwise this will be over very quickly.”
“It’s… been awhile for me, too,” She swallowed thickly, nails lightly grazing his back, “It’s okay. Take your time. I’ll be here.”
She immediately wanted to slap herself upside the head, because of fucking course she’ll be here. Where the fuck else is she supposed to go?
Hyunjin breathed out a small laugh, “I sure hope so.”
He started moving again, slowly, pulling out just a little to lightly thrust back into her. He lowly grunted at the movement, repeating the same action, mumbling out a few curses.
Hyunjin leaned his head up, eyes dancing across Y/N’s face a couple times before biting his bottom lip, readjusting himself to lean back on his heels, getting back in the same position he was in before. Y/N’s breath hitched, toes slightly curling from how his cock shifted inside her, watching him expectantly.
“Legs up.”
She lifted her legs up, his hands coming down to rest on her thighs, spreading her open wider for him. He groaned lowly once he flickered his gaze down, seemingly mesmerized by the sight of her pussy swallowing his cock. Y/N whimpered at the sight, feeling herself drenching down her thighs, having the sudden urge to reach one of her hands down to rub against her clit.
He glanced back at her again, “Eyes on me while I fuck you.”
A sudden, quick thrust of his hips knocked the air out of her lungs. Her body jolted backwards, a loud moan falling from her lips, and she threw her head back, eyes screwing shut in complete bliss.
A harsh smack to the side of her thigh had her eyes popping back open, gasping loudly at the sting that lingered there. “Keep your eyes on me, jagiya. I don’t like to repeat myself. You will figure that out soon enough.”
A choked moan fell from her lips as he snapped his hips back into her. She leaned her head forward, forcing it to stay upright as she watched him, a faint smirk grazing his lips. “Good girl,” He hummed, grabbing ahold of her thighs, leaning his body back a little, “Now watch me make you fall apart all over my cock.”
A scream rippled through her once he snapped his hips back into hers, fucking into her at a pace so rough and relentless that it had her vision blurring. Her pussy was so wet, sucking him in greedily, taking everything he was giving her.
“H-Hyunjin,” She choked out his name, mind clouding with desire, her hands coming up to grab at her breasts, tugging at her nipples, “F-feels so good… fuck me… so good… mhm… fuck,”
“Yes, jagiya,” He growled, gaze darkening as he watched her playing with herself, his balls slapping against her ass with every thrust forward, “You like playing with your little nipples while I fuck this tight pussy? Hm? You feel me stretching you out, claiming you as mine?”
“Yes, yes, fuck,” She babbled out, her head hitting against her bed frame, but she didn’t care, “S-stretch me out so good, Hyunjin. W-wanna be yours. Let me be your slut, please.”
His eyes widened at her words, his grip tightening on her thighs, a completely new expression forming on his face. “Yeah?” He gave a fucked out smirk, his hair falling into his face, making him look so delectable that it had her feeling absolutely feral, “Wanna be my little slut for the night? Want me to stuff you full of my cock, make a mess in your pussy?”
“Fuck, yes, please,” She whined out with each sharp thrust, “P-please… wanna cum so bad on your cock, want you to s-stuff me full with your cum… please, please, please.”
Y/N knew she was out of her fucking mind and he most definitely will not be doing that, but she was living out one of her wildest fantasies right now, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t make the most of it.
He growled out something in Korean Y/N didn’t understand, and her entire body started to feel warm, that familiar pit forming in her stomach, threatening to explode, “F-fuck, Hyunjin, I’m g-gonna…”
Her body was suddenly shoved to the side, face half-way stuffed into her mattress as his dick slipped out of her, an embarrassingly wet sound from her pussy ringing in her ears. She clenched around nothing, a gasp falling from her mouth once he bent one of her legs up, resting her ankle on his shoulder.
He was already thrusting into her again before she could form a thought, the new angle causing his cock to hit deeper inside her, making her eyes roll into the back of her head. “Hyunjin, fuck, yes, right there, f-fuck, please don’t stop,” She cried out, hands gripping the comforter under her so tight her knuckles turned white, drool falling down the corner of her mouth as he fucked her fast and hard. She felt the high rushing up towards her head, consuming every single inch of her body, and she threw her head back, body jerking with another loud cry of his name.
“Fuck!” She whined out once his cock slipped out of her again, unable to stop the tears from falling down her face at the second loss of what she just knew was going to be the best orgasm she would ever have in her entire life.
She clawed at the sheets beneath her, sobbing, her pussy throbbing and pride slowly faltering. “Hyunjin,” She cried softly, so desperate to cum that she found herself reaching her hand down towards her clit, “W-why…”
She was pushed onto her stomach before her fingers could circle her clit, her face buried into her comforter. She felt him lifting her hips up, her back instantly arching so perfectly for him, and he groaned lowly, hands harshly kneading her asscheeks as he sat up on his knees behind her.
“You said you wanted to be my slut, didn’t you?” He rasped out behind her, hand grabbing a fist full of her hair as he pulled her head up. She moaned out at the feeling, at how dominant he sounded, mind feeling fuzzy as she processed what was actually happening right now.
Hyunjin was a fucking freak. And she fucking loved it.
“Answer me,” He slapped her ass with his other hand, and she pressed her ass towards him in response.
“Yes, Hyunjin, I’m your slut.”
He pushed her head back down, stuffing the side of her face into the mattress as he leaned down over her, his dick lightly grazing in-between her asscheeks. She shivered at the feeling, moaning lightly once she felt his lips nipping against her ear.
“That’s right, jagiya. You want to be my slut, you’re going to get fucked like one,” He whispered hotly in her ear, accent making her weak at her motherfucking knees, “Now be my good girl and fucking take it.”
Y/N cried into the mattress once he started fucking her again, spreading her asscheeks apart as he abused her pussy. Her mouth was gaped open, moans falling from her mouth as he pounded into her relentlessly.
“So fucking wet,” Hyunjin groaned out, gripping her even harder as he fucked her deeper, “Feel so good sucking me in. You like this? Hm? Like my cock splitting your tight pussy open like this? Like being stuffed full with a cock this big?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes!” She cried out, “L-love your cock… fucking me so good… so good…”
Y/N felt drunk. She felt drunk on his lips, on his touch, on his cock, on his everything—and she never wanted to sober up. He was moaning out her name, switching back and forth between English and Korean, and Y/N found herself pushing her ass back into him, needing to feel him more. She’d claw her way into his skin if she could.
She arched her back more, bouncing her ass back off his cock, the force causing his grip on her hips to falter ever so slightly. “Fuck,” He groaned out behind her, loosing his rhythm, and she took this opportunity to glance at him over her shoulder, pussy clenching once she saw how fucked out he looked watching her pussy suck him in.
She fucked back into him even harder, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he tilted his head back, loud whines falling from his pretty lips. He was letting her take control, letting her use him, letting her fuck back on his cock like he was her personal fuck toy.
“Mhm, yeah, f-fuck,” He breathed out a grin, biting his lip as he groaned lowly, “Fucking me so good… so fucking wet for me… such a good fucking girl for me. You’re going to make me cum all in this pussy.”
That seemed to do it for her, as she cried out his name, the sound bouncing off her walls, fading into the loud bass outside as she came all over his cock.
“Oh, fuck,” He whined out, thrusting into her a few more times before he collapsed on top of her.
Y/N felt like she blacked out. She had to have blacked out, because once she finally came back to her senses, Hyunjin was sprawled out beside her, panting heavily into the air with his eyes closed, lips slick and parted. She swallowed thickly once she caught sight of his dick that was now growing soft, yet still so fucking big, and she willed herself to flop onto her back, dots still floating in her peripheral vision as she struggled to comprehend what the actual fuck had just happened.
Right now, everything appeared completely normal. The music was still blaring, that little stain on the corner of her ceiling was still there, yells and laughs were heard outside the door. Except the person beside her was anything but.
She just fucked Hwang Hyunjin.
She fucked Hwang Hyunjin.
He groaned lowly beside her, reaching down to tug the used condom off of his dick. He winced a little once he rolled it off, and Y/N could feel him turning to look at her. She didn’t dare look back.
“Is it okay if I throw this away in your bathroom?”
His voice was soft, timid, holding a little rasp to it, a complete contrast of earlier. Y/N nodded in reply, not trusting herself to speak, and looked at her for another minute before slowly getting out of the bed to head into her bathroom.
She let out a long breath once he disappeared inside, trying to focus on the sound of the running water from her sink, trying to focus on anything other than the fact that she had just slept with her fucking bias.
The sinking realization had started to weigh heavy on her chest. It sank even heavier, even deeper, once she heard him coming out of the bathroom, walking around the bed towards her side. Still, she didn’t look at him.
He cleared his throat softly, “Can I… can I clean you up?”
“Okay,” She breathed out a response, feeling like her heart was about to explode out of her chest.
He sat on the edge of the bed, gently prying her legs apart, the cool air hitting her pussy, immediately making her shiver. She flinched once she felt a warm cloth lightly brushing against her inner thighs.
“Sorry,” He let out quickly, jerking his hand back, and Y/N shook her head, relaxing her body into the mattress.
“No, it’s okay,” She replied gently, opening her legs a little wider for him, biting her lip softly as she tried to ignore the fact that her pussy was still spread open for him even when they’re not having sex.
His breath hitched just slightly and she caught it, face flushing once she felt him finish cleaning up in-between her thighs, moving the wash cloth carefully against her. The gesture was so sweet that it had her wanting to pull him down so she could hold onto him, but she couldn’t do that.
He placed the cloth on her bedside table beside her, hesitating for a second before climbing back into her bed and pulling her covers down. “Lean up a little for me,” He whispered out, and she listened, allowing him to pull the rest of the blankets down before covering them both up. She felt less exposed like this, and it felt easier to breathe.
She let out a sigh, relaxing into her sheets, feeling Hyunjin shifting beside her. For a second, she wondered why he wasn’t leaving—why he wasn’t immediately scrambling to get his clothes back on to rush out of her room, fully intending on never seeing her again.
A soft brush of his fingers against her ribcage snapped her out of her thoughts. “Can I hold you?” The question came out quiet, careful, hesitant, “Would that… be okay with you?”
“Yes,” She whispered out a reply.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. His skin was hot against hers, his scent intoxicating, and she felt herself wanting to melt into him. She would lay here forever if she could.
Voices were heard outside, loud giggles and screams that seemed way too close to her door, and she tensed up again in his arms, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt begin to consume her for keeping him here. Y/N knows he shouldn’t be here. She knows he would probably get in so much fucking trouble if anyone even knew he was in here with her. Someone could easily walk into her room and see him lying naked in her bed, and the thought had her feeling sick.
“Hyunjin,” She said his name in a hushed whisper, attempting to pull her body away from his, “I—“
“Don’t.”
She turned to look at him, then, seeing the slight vulnerability lingering in his expression. That confidence from earlier was no longer there, replaced entirely with something deeper, something personal. It caught her off guard, causing something to sit heavily on her chest.
“Don’t say anything. Not right now. Just let me have this… let me have this with you.”
This time, when he reached for her, she let him. Her head rested against his chest, his heart beat thumping loudly in her ears. His shoulders relaxed in a way he probably didn’t even notice. But she did.
Neither of them moved after that. The light in her room seemed to grow brighter, the music outside growing softer. But under the covers, he kept holding her, as if it could stretch time just a little bit further. Y/N wished it would.
— SUMMARY. In which Y/N didn’t expect to hook-up with her bias, and Hyunjin didn’t expect to fall in love with her.
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— GENRE. idol!hyunjin x fem!reader
— WC. 6.7k+
— WARNINGS/OTHER. cursing ; angst ; hyunjin’s lowkey an idiot (& also a stalker) ; lots of mutual pinning ; mentions of sex
NOTE. y’all are either going to hate me or love me for this one. either way, looking forward to hearing your thoughts <33
ᝰ SIX | SERIES M.LIST
Kyōka suigetsu (Japanese) — an idiom with the literal translation of “flower in the mirror and a moon in the water.” It references something which is visible and cannot be touched as well as the profound beauty of poems that cannot be described in words
Florence feels much softer in the rain. Hyunjin notices that almost immediately during his first day in the city.
The crowd outside had diminished significantly once the first downpour hit, right as Hyunjin stepped foot into the third art museum of the day. He’d like to say that the rain is the reason he’d been pushed into yet another gallery tucked along a narrow side street near the river, but that’s far from the truth. Especially when he finds himself in a particular exhibit that centers around emotional realism and reinterpretations of Renaissance intimacy. Very pretentious, very dramatic—exactly the kind of thing Hyunjin likes.
Art just feels easier right now—safer. And the weather outside further proves that point.
He moves slowly through the rooms, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his pants while soft instrumental music plays overhead. There aren’t many people here, surprisingly, despite a few tourists and a few groups of what appears to be university students sketching sculptures in their notebooks. Hyunjin figured that once the rain hit people would be pouring in here to escape it, but he was thankfully proven wrong. He prefers it this way.
He walks further down, his shoes lightly tapping against the floor, pausing at a massive oil painting. It’s depicting a man kneeling waist-deep in dark water beneath a giant golden sky. His eyes study it for a moment before drifting down to read the plaque, mouthing out the words salvation through suffering to himself. His eyes flicker back up to the painting, head tilting slightly as he traces every single detail before deciding that it seems just a tad bit dramatic. In his professional opinion, (which should be taken with a grain of salt), people tend to romanticize suffering too much. If someone is drowning, maybe they should be helped instead of allowing it to happen and calling it beautiful.
But that’s just his opinion.
He snaps a quick picture of it, sending it to the group chat before slowly walking into another room. More oil paintings line the walls in massive frames, all revolving around grief, isolation, longing—human suffering presented beautifully enough that has something pulling deep in his chest. He stays where he is for a second longer, studying each piece thoughtfully until his eyes drift down to focus on the reflection staring back at him through the glass protecting the painting. And although the reflection staring back at him appears familiar, there’s something distant there.
Hyunjin barely recognizes himself at times. He’s not the same guy he once was when they first debuted, full of passion and determination and life. As the years went on, the weight of everything got heavier on his shoulders, and he was stuck in a constant loop of exhaustion. It’s not that he hates his job—he loves his fans, the members, and performing more than anything. But he just hates that he has to feel so miserable sometimes when he’s supposed to be doing something he loves.
Even now, there’s some moments where he catches himself feeling strangely disconnected from the version of him everyone knows. He’s heard it all—the idol, the visual, the beautiful dramatic one. People think they know him because they constantly consume bits and pieces of him on a screen, but that’s exactly that—they think.
He doesn’t even remember the last time he’s went live. He used to be more active, going on random Instagram lives and sending numerous texts and pictures off Bubble. But lately, he hasn’t had the energy too. It feels performative, in a way, but everything is performative in his world.
He just wishes he could stop being what people want him to be and not care what people say about it.
Most days, he feels like a collection of carefully selected fragments pretending to be an actual person. Therapy helps. Medicine helps. Having a good support system helps. But sometimes, it’s not enough, and he needs to do things for himself to help clear his head, like take a however month long hiatus and do a solo trip to Italy.
Maybe that’s why he likes Italy so much. Maybe that’s why he likes art galleries so much. Nobody here expects anything from him.
Hyunjin tears his gaze away from his reflection, stuffing his hands back into his pants pocket before heading towards the next room. This one focuses on fractured intimacy. There’s paintings of lovers facing opposite directions, hands nearly touching but never quite reaching, bodies close physically but emotionally miles apart. He feels it instantly because, unfortunately, he understood this kind of distance too well.
He moves on before the feeling settles too deeply.
Hyunjin drifts through the next room half-focused, his thoughts scattered all over the place. One second he’s thinking about sketching, another second he’s thinking about finding another small restaurant near the river tonight. He’s thinking about anything, desperately trying to distract himself from the heavy feeling in his chest. He’s thinking about anything, until he can no longer think at all.
His entire body comes to an abrupt stop, like something inside him physically locks. The room suddenly feels colder, the weight on his shoulders grows heavier, and he feels like he might pass out on this sleek marble flooring.
At the far end of the gallery stands a woman beneath soft overhead lighting. She’s wearing a yellow dress with a cream-colored raincoat, dark curls falling over one shoulder, hands gripping onto the strap of her purse as she studies a painting in front of her.
For one second, Hyunjin’s brain refuses to process what he’s seeing, not because he doesn’t recognize her, but because he does instantly. In fact, every nerve ending in his entire body recognizes her before logic can even catch up with him.
No. There’s absolutely no way that she is standing a few steps away from him right now, at an art gallery in Italy. There is absolutely no way.
His brain scrambles for even more explanations, as he mentally talks himself out of a panic attack that may or may not be brewing. Lots of people have curly hair and a round face. Lots of people give off the exact same aura. He just drank too much wine at lunch, and that’s why he’s currently hallucinating her standing in front of him. Yeah, that must be it.
Only it isn’t. Because before he could even blink, she had shifted just slightly, now giving him a perfect view of her face, confirming what he already knew was true.
Y/N.
Somehow, she looks exactly the same, yet completely different all at the same time. Her hair is shorter than he remembers, darker than he remembers, falling down to her shoulders. She’s wearing minimal makeup, yet she’s still naturally so pretty, staring at the painting in awe. Gold rings line her fingers, catching the light in the room. She looks more mature, more settled into herself, and Hyunjin is suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that he’s currently ogling at a very much real Y/N in the middle of a very much real art gallery full of very much real people.
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
His heartbeat slams violently against his ribcage, and he has to remind himself to breathe so he doesn’t actually pass out. He closes his eyes briefly, shaking his head back and forth before opening them again, his eyes widening once he realizes that he’s not hallucinating and she’s still painfully real, standing in front of him again after four fucking years.
And god, she’s still beautiful. The kind of beautiful that sneaks up on him before he can even emotionally defend himself.
He feels rooted to his spot, gawking, staring, still trying not to pass out. She doesn’t move for a second, and Hyunjin thinks he has to be hallucinating her, only for her to shift a little closer towards where he’s standing, and then reality comes back.
A quiet shriek escapes his mouth as he instantly steps behind one of the marble columns near him, shielding his view from her. He stands there for a second, breathing heavy, his stomach flipping so hard that it actually makes him dizzy.
This is insane. Actually insane. It’s been four years—four years of zero contact, of living lives in two completely different worlds, and somehow, seeing her for less than twenty seconds already feels catastrophic to his nervous system.
He pushes his back against the column, shifting himself so he’s more hidden. He feels calmer now that he can’t see her anymore, but that only lasts for five seconds before he’s peaking around the column again just to see that she’s still there. She’s still there, still looking at paintings, still completely unaware she’s currently ruining his emotional stability from thirty feet away.
Hyunjin knows he should leave. He should just turn around, pretend he didn’t even see her, and leave. That would be the normal thing to do, the healthy thing to do. But instead, he stays frozen exactly where he is, watching her, noticing every single movement and detail about her, just like he did when he saw her for the first time four years ago.
He notices the way she shifts her weight while she’s thinking. He notices the tiny line appearing between her brows while reading the plaque beside the painting. He notices the absentminded way she tucks her curls behind her ear. He notices everything—and it feels so unfair.
How can four years disappear instantly like that? How can his body remember someone this much after so much time apart?
He remembers her so vividly that it’s actually insane. He remembers her voice, her scent, her smile. He remembers how calm he felt around her, how right it felt being near her. He remembers how she sounded calling out his name as he made her cum on his cock.
His chest aches suddenly. He’s torn between a constant battle of leaving or following her until he may or may not develop the confidence to actually approach her. His mind screams at him to leave, the red flags going off in his head. But Hyunjin had never listened to himself in the first place, so why would he do that now?
He leans his head over to catch another glimpse of her, his eyes widening as he sees her walking into the next room. Panic shoots through him instantly, and before he could even blink, he’s already following her, hiding behind another large column.
He peaks over, noticing that she stops before another enormous painting. He doesn’t even bother to look at which one, his interest in all the art surrounding him diminishing instantly. He’s way too distracted by the fact that Y/N is real, standing ten feet away, breathing the same air as him for the first time in years.
His heart pounds harder the longer he keeps watching her. He should walk up to her and say something, and not keep hiding behind European architecture like a fucking stalker. He should, but he can’t.
What if she feels nothing for him now? What if she doesn’t want anything to do with him? What if she rejects him?
He can’t do it. He just can’t.
A large group of tourists suddenly moves in front of him, blocking his view from her completely. Hyunjin shifts immediately, trying to keep her in sight, feeling a surge of panic flow through his body as he searches the room. It feels like forever when everything finally clears, his shoulders relaxing instantly. Yet that didn’t last long, as he desperately tried to find her, only to realize that she’s gone.
“No, no, no,” He mumbles to himself like an insane person, moving quickly into the adjoining room, his eyes scanning faces in panicked desperation, hoping one of them was hers.
He moves into another hallway. Nothing. He begins circling rooms twice. Nothing.
He runs his fingers through his hair, feeling his stomach drop. Somehow, losing sight of her after finding her again feels devastating already, and it makes him feel insane. Maybe if he would stop being a fucking coward all the time and actually went up to talk to her whenever he first saw her, he wouldn’t be here searching the gallery pretending he isn’t searching the gallery.
He had to have hallucinated her. There was no way that she disappeared that quickly, like she just disappeared into the walls like a fucking ghost. He definitely would have seen her from how quick he rushed into the nearby rooms looking like a mad-man. He’s surprised they didn’t kick him out.
Hyunjin’s face suddenly heats up in embarrassment. Why did he allow himself to act like that in public? At an art museum, of all places? Over a girl he fucked four years ago?
Except she wasn’t just an insufficient fuck, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. Sure, the sex was amazing, but that was also part of the problem. It was so amazing that it’s quite literally ruined everyone else for him, and part of him is bitter for that. There’s no denying how compatible they were sexually, but it was also emotionally. And that’s what’s been fucking with him the most.
Hyunjin runs his fingers through his hair again, taking a deep breath before pulling his phone out to text his driver he’s ready to leave. Normally, he would spend all day at an art museum, but right now he thinks he just needs to go back to his hotel and contemplate his entire life.
The rain falls steadily outside by the time he steps out of the museum. He didn’t bring a coat today, didn’t really think he would need one. But just like his emotions are all over the place, so is the weather here, apparently.
He spots his driver waiting for him, leaning against the car with an umbrella over his head. Hyunjin hurries over towards him, jogging through the rain, not even phased at how wet he seems to be getting. Honestly, it’s kind of nice, somewhat cooling his skin and helping his body calm down.
He gets into the back seat quietly. His clothes are sticking to his skin now, his hair falling in front of his forehead in damp waves. He combs it back once before slouching back in the seat, turning his head to watch the rain drops slowly falling down the window.
He tries not to think about her, he really tries. But his mind ends up going there anyway, replaying the scene over and over in his head like a broken record that just won’t stop playing.
She looked so beautiful. Her skin looked perfectly sun-kissed, eyes still so blue and hypnotizing, hair so pretty and soft. He couldn’t see her body well from the raincoat she had on, but he just knew the pale yellow dress would be hugging her so perfectly and have him falling to his knees immediately.
It’s wild how deeply she still affects him even after all this time apart. They spent one night together, yet it felt like he had known her his entire life. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much when he had to let her go.
Hyunjin was always a private person, introverted at best. He always kept to himself, never opening up to anyone first unless he trusted them, which was why when he found himself opening up to Y/N, it terrified him.
It still terrifies him, because he knows if he could see her again, he’d fall in even deeper.
He tries to focus on the rain again. He distracts his mind by counting the raindrops on the window, making mental bets on which raindrop would fall first—anything to prevent his mind from spiraling.
That doesn’t last long, though. Because as soon as he steps into his hotel room and strips off his wet clothes, he’s already plopping down onto his bed with a dramatic groan before grabbing his phone.
Chan answers the call after two rings.
“Well, well. Florence finally bored you?”
“I think I hallucinated Y/N in an art gallery.”
The words came out so fast and so frantic that Hyunjin wonders for a second if Chan actually understood what he said in the first place. He bites his bottom lip softly, nervously tapping his fingers against his chest. The silence is so loud he pulls his phone away just to make sure he didn’t accidentally hang up.
“Well, good evening to you, too.”
Hyunjin rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling, “I’m serious. I’m starting to go insane because I keep thinking about it.”
“Like, you actually saw her?”
“I mean, I think so,” Hyunjin replies quickly, another groan falling from his lips as he pinches his temple with his fingers, “I don’t know if I actually did or not. That’s what’s frustrating me.”
Chan immediately starts laughing, and Hyunjin narrows his eyes even though he can’t see him, “Stop laughing at me! I’m literally spiraling right now and you’re making fun of me!”
“I’m not making fun of you, Hyun,” Chan replies through another fit of laughter, much quieter this time, “It just sounds a little crazy, is all. Like what do you mean you think you saw her? Walk me through it.”
Hyunjin drags a hand down his face. This is giving him a headache already. “I was looking at paintings.”
“Mhm.”
“And then I saw this girl.”
“Incredible start.”
“She turned around, and I swear to fuck it was her,” He breathes out, feeling his heart race a little just thinking about it again, “Now that I think about it more, I’m certain it was her. And holy fuck, she was beautiful. I feel like I’m losing my mind right now.”
Chan exhales slowly through the phone, and Hyunjin feels a little embarrassed at what he just said, but whatever. He can’t take it back now. “That’s… strange.” He replies after a few more seconds of Hyunjin mentally freaking out, only adding on to that feeling.
“Strange?” He laughs incredulously, “Chan, I literally forgot how to breathe for a second. I’m still trying to catch my breath.”
“Okay, so you saw Y/N,” Chan spoke, voice softer, “Then what? You went and talked to her?”
“Well… not exactly,” He replies, already dreading this conversation because he knows Chan won’t be able to live this part down, “I kind of hid behind the giant columns and watched her from afar. And then I kind of followed her around the gallery. Kind of.”
Chan bursts out into laughter again, the sound so loud that it had him wincing as he pulled the phone away from his ear. “Hyunjin… you fucking idiot! Please tell me you did not just stalk this poor girl in a contemporary art gallery.”
“I panicked!” He defends himself, poorly, might he add, as the laughter on the other end only seems to be getting much worse, “I’m not good at this shit, okay?! She was looking at art so prettily! That’s intimidating!”
“That’s the most pretentious thing you’ve ever said.”
Hyunjin falls back onto the pillows behind his head with a loud groan, “I think something is deeply wrong with me.”
“Yeah,” Chan agrees quickly through another chuckle, causing him to glare at the screen, because why is he agreeing with him? “We established that years ago, unfortunately.”
Despite himself, Hyunjin laughs weakly, his eyes trailing over towards the rain-streaked windows. Part of him had always secretly wondered whether she carried their ending around the same way he did. Maybe she didn’t—maybe she healed properly while he kept romanizing unfinished things.
I guess he’d never know that because he couldn’t bring himself to go talk to her.
“She looked really good,” He admits quietly, watching the rain patter softly against the window, “She looked… so pretty. Just like I always remembered.”
Chan hums knowingly, “You’re an idiot. And you’re screwed.”
“I know.”
He listens to the rain for another second before a thought suddenly comes to mind. He sits up immediately, “Wait.”
Chan sounds suspicious already, “What?”
“You still talk to Kat.”
He’s quiet on the line, and Hyunjin hates how he can feel his heart beating even louder against his chest. “I do,” He drawls the word out, already seeming to know where this is going.
“Ask her if Y/N’s in Italy.”
More silence. And then—
“Oh my god.”
He’s laughing again, and Hyunjin grunts into the phone in annoyance, running another hand through his hair, “Chan, I’m serious! Text her right now and ask her if she’s in Italy.”
“Hyun, you do realize how insane you’re acting right now, right?” Chan chuckles in disbelief, “You haven’t seen this girl in four years and now you’re spiraling in an Italian luxury hotel because you think you saw her admiring paintings. You sound lovesick.”
Hyunjin presses both hands over his eyes, “Hyung, please. When do I ever ask you for favors?”
“All the fucking time, actually.”
“Please!”
Chan sighs dramatically over the line, “Fine. This is humiliating for you, you know that?”
“I know.”
“You could’ve just spoken to her and not stalked her like a fucking creep.”
“I know,” He swallows thickly, “You don’t understand.”
“No, I understand perfectly, actually. You’re terrified.”
That shuts Hyunjin up instantly. Because unfortunately, it’s true.
He’s terrified of rejection. He’s terrified of indifference. He’s terrified of discovering he’s carried this thing around for years only to realize she let it go completely.
And where would that lead him?
Chan sighs again after a few moments, “I’m texting her right now, okay?”
Relief floods through him embarrassingly fast, “You’re the best, Channie baby.”
“Ew, don’t call me that.”
Hyunjin laughs quietly, a giddy feeling rising in his body once he hears Chan typing on his phone over the line. He’s 99.9% sure she was Y/N, but having a verbal confirmation from her best friend would just be the icing on top of the fucking cake. If he gets confirmation that she’s actually in Italy, maybe he won’t feel so insane about it.
Another idea hits him all of a sudden, and he’s putting Chan on speaker before swiping out of the call, his fingers working fast to click on the Instagram app. He’s clicking on the search bar before he can think any better of it, typing in a username that he remembers from years ago when he first found her account, only hoping she didn’t change it.
His eyes light up instantly once he realizes she didn’t. And then he’s clicking on her profile.
“What are you doing?” Chan’s voice startles him for a second.
“Nothing.” He replies quickly, guiltily. His eyes widen once he sees her first post, and he wastes no time in clicking on the picture so he can see it better.
He heart falls into his ass once he sees it.
“Oh shit,” He breaths out, gawking at her most recent photo from a day ago. It’s a thread, a collection of ten pictures, the first picture being of her smiling in front of Brunelleschi’s Duomo.
“Oh, shit,” He says again, because what else can he say?
“Oh my god,” Chan says knowingly, “Are you stalking her right now? Seriously?”
“It’s public information,” He defends himself weakly, swiping through the rest of the post. Pasta, wine, a picture of a stray cat resting on a bench, another selfie. He stares at that one a little longer, unable to stop himself.
God, she’s so fucking beautiful. His heart hurts.
“That’s exactly what stalkers say.” Chan’s voice interrupts his thoughts, and he ignores him, quickly exiting out of that post to glance at the rest of her profile.
Coffee shops, books, Kat, (lots of Kat), the gym, weddings, yet there’s no engagement posts or anything that hints that she has a significant other. He hates how relieved he is from that.
Something about seeing pieces of her life condensed quietly into photographs makes his chest ache. She kept existing this entire time, but somehow, he never let himself imagine it clearly.
He’s clicking on one of her highlight reels she posted titled “Italy 🇮🇹” before he can stop himself. And his heart is falling into his ass once again.
The first one is of a window from a coffee shop while the rain pours outside. The second is of a piece of artwork from a different gallery he didn’t recognize. And the third… the third is a mirror picture she took of herself, wearing the exact same outfit he just saw her in. Her coat wasn’t on, showing off her curves so perfectly, the dress hugging her just right. It looked so pretty against her skin, her smile sending shivers down his entire body.
Holy fuck.
“Holy shit,” He covers his mouth with his hand, the raining pouring down harder now.
“What now?”
“She’s here,” He strains out, his heartbeat climbing, “She is literally here. In Florence.”
“Yep, she is.” He replies, but before Hyunjin can ask what he means by that tone, his phone is binging with a text from Chan. It’s a screenshot of a string of texts. He opens it quickly.
Chan: Random question
Chan: Is Y/N in Italy rn?
Kat: why
Chan: Hyunjin thinks he saw her and now he’s acting mentally unstable
Kat: OH MY GOD
Kat: WAIT, ACTUALLY????
Chan: Yep. He hid behind a column, apparently. Embarrassing 😳
Hyunjin groans immediately, “Seriously?! Why would you tell her that?!”
“Because it was funny.”
“It was not! You’re evil!”
“I’m correct.”
Another screenshot comes through, and Hyunjin mentally prepares himself before he opens it.
Kat: she’s in florence, rn
Kat: she’s been going to art galleries all week too, lol
Chan: That is horrifyingly romantic
Kat: don’t encourage him
Hyunjin’s stomach flips again. He really could run into her again. The possibility alone sends nervous energy rushing through him immediately, but things are different now. Now, he’s older, more established, with more freedom to do what he pleases. For the first time in his career, choosing someone wouldn’t automatically be impossible. And somehow, the universe drops Y/N directly into Florence while he’s finally at a point in his life where he maybe can choose her properly.
The timing feels cruel. Or maybe hopeful. He genuinely can’t tell.
“You’re being quiet.”
Hyunjin stares at her profile again, “I’m just… processing. I can’t believe she’s actually here.”
“Yeah,” Chan hums in response, “Kat said she’s there for another week.”
Hyunjin blinks, “Another week?”
He hears Chan curse silently over the line, and his eyes narrow, “It seems you know entirely too much information.”
“I do not.” His response is quick.
“You literally know her travel itinerary.”
“Okay, now that’s a little dramatic. Let’s simmer down.”
Hyunjin lets out a quiet scoff, pointing at the phone accusingly, “You and Kat are scheming, aren’t you?”
“We are absolutely not.” Again, another quick reply.
“I think you’re full of shit. Shitty shit shit.”
Chan sighs dramatically, and Hyunjin can just see his eyes rolling, “Ooookay. Maybe Kat mentioned she was doing a solo trip to Italy months ago.”
“Months ago,” He repeats the words, nodding his head slowly, “And then, somehow, I end up in Italy at the same exact time?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
Hyunjin flops backward onto the bed, groaning dramatically, “I hate all of you. Especially you.”
“No you don’t.”
Unfortunately, that’s true.
His phone pings again with yet another screenshot. He sighs, knowing he’s about to be embarrassed again, but opening it anyway.
Kat: wait, does he like her???
Chan: Catastrophically so
Kat: omg I KNEW IT
Chan: He’s currently staring at her Instagram profile in silence like a widow in a period drama
Kat: don’t let him scare her, omg
Chan: Too late, he already hid behind a column
“You are unbelievable!” Hyunjin chokes out, completely mortified.
This is ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. And yet, underneath all the teasing and embarrassment and panic, hope starts blooming somewhere dangerous inside him. For the first time in years, Y/N doesn’t feel unreachable anymore, and he wants nothing more than to finally grab ahold of her.
His thumb hovers over the message button on her profile. He hesitates for a second, biting the inside of his cheek. The rain falls even harder outside, and he’s distracted by the sound for a split second before his thumb inches closer.
“Chan?”
“Yeah?” His reply is instant. He hesitates again, but only for a second.
“If I message her right now… is that insane?”
“Maybe,” He replies after a few seconds, and Hyunjin swallows thickly, “Do you want my actual opinion?”
Hyunjin doesn’t answer. The silence is answer enough.
“You’re in Italy to take a break from everything. You’re there to do things you enjoy, escape reality for a bit, clear your head, rest. You’re there to take care of yourself,” He speaks slowly, softly. The room grows very still around him, save for the relaxing sound of the rain that’s doing very little in quieting down his head right now.
Hyunjin swallows thickly, his eyes focused on Y/N’s smiling face illuminating quietly on his phone screen, his thumb still hovering.
“But, I think if you leave Italy without trying to talk to her, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. You wanted to choose her years ago,” Chan exhales softly through the speaker, his fingers twitching in front of him, “And now, nobody’s stopping you except for yourself.”
The bathwater has gone lukewarm, but Y/N still doesn’t move.
Florence at night still feels like it’s holding its breath outside her hotel window. The rain is still tapping lightly against the glass, pulling her more into a euphoric calm that she’s been longing to experience for a while now. It’s quieter than New York in a way that almost feels wrong, like the world forgot to keep moving.
Three days ago, she arrived in Italy alone. Normally traveling alone in a foreign country would terrify her, but Italy has always been on her bucket list and she was in desperate need of a long break. And by long break, she means an entire summer off she barely knew how to use in the first place—an entire summer off from fluorescent ceilings, trauma alerts, and the constant low hum of the ER.
She had told herself this trip was about rest, but rest is a loose concept when your entire nervous system has been wired to anticipate chaos. Even now, immersed in bath water with a shit ton of lavender scented bubbles, her body still feels half-alert, like she’s just waiting on someone to call another code. Yet, instead, the only thing calling her right now is her memory.
And Hyunjin. Of course.
Y/N lets out a sigh, leaning her head back against the porcelain behind her. She hadn’t meant to think about him this much in Florence, but museums do that to her. There’s just too much beauty in one place, and it all leads back to him.
Earlier today, she stood in front of a Renaissance painting for an uncomfortably long time. Not because she was trying to understand the meaning behind the painting, but because it made her think of him. She could picture him standing there, his hands tucked into the pocket of his pants, his head tilted to the side as he studied every single detail. She knew he loved art, and he loved to create his own. And every time he would post one of his works on social media, it had her heart warming instantly.
He was so talented, in every way, shape, and form.
At first, she used to look forward to his posts, even having her notifications on so it would alert her whenever he posted. Seems excessive and a little stalker ish, she knows, but she was holding on to every little thing about him, desperate to connect with him, in some way. Even if that was through his artwork he posted on social media for millions of people to see.
She admits she did that for a few months before convincing herself that it was unhealthy behavior. Constantly pinning after an idol who was completely unattainable was unhealthy behavior. And she had to stop it before she buried herself deep into a flunk she’d never get out of.
She stopped listening to Stray Kids. She stopped outwardly supporting them. She stopped following them on all social media, and even canceled her Bubble subscription. It was all just a constant reminder of what she had with him, which was one, insignificant night where she came around his cock twice and then laid in bed with him afterwards like it meant everything.
And it did mean everything. It still means everything, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself otherwise. That was the problem with Hyunjin. He made everything feel like it mattered more than it should—even silence, even absence.
Y/N shifts slightly in the bath, staring at the condensation slowly sliding down the glass. It’s been four years since that night she spent with him, four years since Hyunjin became real and not a fantasy version of a man she projected meaning onto—just him.
She still remembers thinking this can’t actually be happening. Even now, she can’t believe it had actually happened. Because even then, she had been a fan, a Stay—the kind that knew too many music video details and had once argued online about dance formations like it mattered personally.
Hyunjin had been her ult bias. The word feels childish now, but it was true then. She had known his face before she knew his voice, known his stage presence before she knew how softly he spoke when he wasn’t performing. And then somehow, he had ended up in her world, in her bed, fucking her like he owned her just to tell her he couldn’t choose her.
She didn’t expect him to. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t want him to.
Y/N closes her eyes in the bath, sighing softly. It had messed with her for a while, but she eventually moved on, where she learned to separate emotion from action so effectively that sometimes she worries she might never fully turn it off.
It worked, mostly, but the human brain is not a system that respects change. Hyunjin didn’t stay in the past like she expected him to. He stayed in the quiet moments between shifts, on nights when she got home too late and the apartment felt too big, on subway rides when she had nothing else to think about, and stupidly enough, when someone in passing mentioned k-pop.
That’s when it came back. And even now, lying in a bubble bath in Italy, she finds herself thinking about him again.
Her phone buzzing on the toilet seat beside her makes her jump, knocking her out of her thoughts. She wipes her hands off with the towel hanging up beside her before leaning over, seeing that Kat was currently calling her. She smiles, answering the call and putting it on speakerphone before slouching back into the bathtub.
“Hey.”
“There she is!” Kat’s voice booms through the phone, always so bright and cheery, “My Italian girl. Professional eater of pastries.”
“I had one pastry today,” She rolls her eyes, shifting a little in the bath, the water sloshing around her lightly.
“Yeah, key word, today. Tomorrow you’ll probably have about five more.”
“I think you’re just jealous that you’re not getting any.”
“Very true,” She sighs. Y/N laughs softly, sinking deeper into the bath, the back of her head getting wet. “How are you doing, my girl?”
“Hm, kind of tired right now,” She admits softly, running her hands against her thighs, moving the bubbles around, “I walked like 20k steps today. My feet hurt so fucking bad.”
“I’m so glad I’m not there to massage them for you. Can’t bribe me with Taco Bell tonight.”
“I could fuck up ten cheesy roll-ups right now.”
Kat laughs, and Y/N lets herself relax into the sound, twirling the bubbles around with her fingers. It’s quiet for a second after that, but the silence is comfortable. It’s always comfortable with her. Kat is one of the few people who still makes her feel like her life isn’t split into before and after versions—even if she’s always known too much, even if she’s always been suspiciously good at reading between lines Y/N never explicitly drew.
“Sooo,” She drawls out suddenly, her tone shifting just slightly. Y/N’s body reacts before her brain does, and she narrows her eyes at the phone still sitting on the toilet seat. That tone is never good.
“No.” Y/N says immediately.
“I didn’t even say anything yet!” She quickly defends herself.
“You didn’t have to.”
Kat laughs in disbelief, “You always do that thing where you act like you can predict my thoughts.”
“Because I can.”
Kat sighs on the phone, and Y/N knows that’s whatever is about to come out of her mouth isn’t going to be good. “I’ve been texting Chan today,” She finally admits, and Y/N stills slightly.
“Ooookay,” She replies, a little confused as to why she’s telling her that, “You talk to him most days. Why are you telling me that?”
It’s quiet again, uncomfortable, this time. Too uncomfortable. She’s about to ask the same question again when Kat’s voice stops her.
“He mentioned something interesting.”
She tenses up even more, goosebumps forming on the back of her neck despite the warm water surrounding her, “Okay. That’s super vague and I don’t like it.” She hates it, actually.
“He’s in Europe.” She blurts out suddenly.
“Who?” Y/N asks, still confused and slightly on edge, because why is she making this so dramatic? “Chan? Why are you telling me this, Kat?”
“No, not Chan. Hyunjin.”
She blinks, wondering where this conversation is headed, “Okay. That’s nice for him. Europe’s big, you know?”
“I know geography, thank you very much,” Kat scoffs in fake annoyance, “He’s in Italy. Hyunjin is in Italy.”
Y/N sits up completely in the bath now, the bubbles falling down her chest. Her heart felt like it was about shoot right out of her chest. Hyunjin is in Italy? At the same time that she is?
Kat has known everything without technically knowing anything for four straight years, which is honestly terrifying. Y/N had never explicitly said that her and Hyunjin had hooked up, partly because of the NDA, but mostly because whatever existed between them had always felt strangely sacred, like exposing too much would ruin it completely. But Kat had figured it out anyway, probably because Y/N had cried over one man exactly once in her entire life.
And unfortunately, it was very obvious which man that was.
“And?” She squeaks out, trying to appear unaffected when she’s anything but.
“And nothing,” Kat replies lightly, but there’s something underneath it now, “It’s just… very interesting timing, is all.”
“This is ridiculous,” Y/N laughs out lightly, shaking her head as she forced herself to relax back into the bath.
“Sure.”
“I’m not going to run into him, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Sure.”
“Kat.” She calls her name, an edge to her voice. Her phone suddenly goes off again, and she sighs, leaning over to glance at the screen, fully expecting Kat to be screenshotting her a thread of texts or an article about it or something.
Her entire body goes rigid once her eyes land on the notification displayed across her lock screen.
Instagram. DM request. From hynjinnnn.
For a second, Y/N genuinely thinks she’s imagining it. That exhaustion just finally caught up to her in Italy and her brain decided to hallucinate the one person capable of psychologically ruining her from a whole other continent.
Kat’s still talking through the speaker on her phone, but Y/N isn’t comprehending anything she’s saying, hurriedly clicking on the notification and going straight to his profile, just to confirm it’s actually him.
It is. Of course it is. And somehow, it makes this ten times worse.
Her thumb hovers over the request, then she presses accept before she can overthink it too much. The first message loads instantly.
hyunjin: Hi.
It was simple, too simple. Y/N blinks at the message, once, twice, and then there’s more popping up almost immediately.
hyunjin: This is either a terrible idea or fate, and I genuinely can’t tell
hyunjin: I think I saw you at the Uffizi earlier today. And if it was really you… I don’t think I can pretend this never happened anymore
— SUMMARY. In which Hyunjin is a little bit of an asshole, and Y/N just misses him.
— GENRE. punk!hyunjin, ex-childhood-bestfriends-to-lovers au
— PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
—WC. 4.7k+
— WARNINGS/OTHER. cursing, buzzcut!hyunjin, slight angst, fluff (& soft!hyunjin!!!), smut consisting of : switch!hyunjin, oral!sex (f. & m. receiving), unprotected sex, choking, lots of dirty talk, cowgirl, exhibitionism (?)
— NOTE. annnnnd there we have it — an end to a beautiful series!!! thank you to everyone who loved my story as much as i did. i’m looking forward to seeing you guys in my next adventure!!!
ᝰ series m.list
ONE YEAR LATER.
“Jinnie,” Y/N moaned loudly, throwing her head back against the wall behind her. Her hands were gripping the back of his head, still half-expecting to tug at his long hair, a loud gasp falling from mouth as he fucked her open with his tongue.
“O-oh my god,” She whined out, hands wildly running against the back of his head, fingers gripping and un-gripping at nothing. Hyunjin moaned against her, one hand spreading her lips apart as he devoured her pussy, the other tugging against his dick. One of her legs was propped up against a chair Hyunjin had strategically placed, keeping her perfectly spread open for him.
“Fuck, I love this pussy,” He grunted into her, thrusting into his hand as licked up towards her clit, nipping it with his teeth, “Taste so fucking good. I could cum from this.”
He circled her clit with his tongue, and Y/N whimpered out his name, hands twitching on the back of his head. “You’re making a mess, baby. Dripping down your thighs, dripping down my face… you want me to fuck you? Hm? Want my cock in your wet pussy?” He let out in-between licks, tongue flicking against her clit.
“Y-yes, please,” She whined out, voice cracking at the end, hips twitching once she felt him lightly pinching her nipple.
“Look at me,” He demanded lowly. Y/N’s head felt heavy as she forced herself to look down, feeling like she could cum just from looking at him. He was on his knees, deliciously naked, cock hard and leaking as he slowly tugged at it. His eyes were glossed over, pupils blown wide, and he looked completely fucked out. He smirked against her pussy, “Good girl. Eyes on me while I make you cum with my mouth. You look away and I’lI stop, and you can fuck yourself with your fingers instead of my cock while I perform on stage for you. After you get on your knees and finish me off, of course.”
He pecked her center, blowing at it lightly as he tightened her grip on the back of his head, “Your choice, petal. Choose wisely.”
His lips were back on her before she could utter out a single word, back arching off the wall with a loud cry of his name as he wrapped his lips around her swollen clit, sucking hard and fast. She pressed his face into her pussy with more force, not leaving him any room to breathe. His eyes were locked on hers, daring her to look away, moaning and grunting into her with each roll of her hips as she rode his face.
Her eyes started to close as her moans got louder and her hips sped up their pace, that familiar coil forming in her stomach. It was only when the back of her head tapped against the wall that she shot up, eyes opening wide as she jerked her head back down, seeing that he was moving his head to the same pace as her hips, slurping and sucking and licking every single inch of her. The sight was so lewd that it had her body going weak, a loud scream flowing through her as she jerked into him, coming all over his face.
Her head felt light as she came down from her high, whining out his name over and over again like it’s the only name she knows. Her knees buckled once he pulled away from her, and he didn’t even bother to catch her as she sank down on the floor in front of him, back sliding against the wall.
“Oh my god,” She gasped out, feeling light-headed as fuck, pussy still tingling from his mouth. Her legs were still spread apart, pussy swollen and glossed over with her cum and Hyunjin’s spit. When she finally regained complete consciousness and looked at him, his eyes were focused on her pussy, hand still on his dick, licking his lips as he collected every last bit of her on his tongue.
“Jinnie,” She called out his name weakly, reaching her hand out towards him, “Come here.”
His eyes flickered up to her face, a teasing glint in his eyes as he smirked at her, leaning away from her touch, “No.”
No? “What?” She pouted, face falling once he started scooting backwards, giving more distance between them, “Jinnie… come here. I want to kiss you.”
“Kissing me right now means fucking me, and you made your choice, baby.”
Y/N blinked, feeling the back of neck getting hot, “What? I didn’t! I looked at you the entire time!”
“No, baby, you didn’t,” He leaned back on his elbows, spreading his legs apart. Y/N was immediately drawn to his cock, still hard and angry and leaking, and she could feel her mouth watering at the sight of him.
“Hwang!” Someone had yelled his name, banging loudly against the door. Y/N recognized it to be Jisung. “What the fuck are you doing?! We go on in five, you know!”
The smirk on Hyunjin’s face only widened at Jisung’s words, and Y/N felt her body grow hot.
Jisung knocked again, the doorknob twisting back and forth and few times, Y/N shrieking in surprise. When she looked back over at Hyunjin, he looked even more amused and relaxed, eyebrow cocked as he watched her expectantly.
“Fucking hell, seriously?!” Jisung yelled again, muffled through the door, “You’ve got Y/N in there with you?! You can get your dick wet later, Hwang! We’re on in five, you hear me?! Don’t make me go get the spare key and come drag you out!”
Y/N should have felt mortified, but once she saw the dark gaze in Hyunjin’s eyes, that quickly turned into something else.
“You heard the man. Five minutes,” Hyunjin let out lowly, one hand tightly wrapped around the base of his cock, “Now be a good little petal and crawl over here and suck my cock. I won’t tell you again.”
Her thighs clenched, and Hyunjin noticed, beckoning her over with a mocking curl of his finger. She couldn’t even bring herself to be embarrassed by how quickly she got on her hands and knees, eyes zeroed in on his cock as she slowly crawled forward. Once she got close enough, she laid flat on her stomach, ass perched up high in the air behind her as she replaced his hand with her own.
She licked a long stripe up the base of his cock, flicking her tongue against his tip, his hand coming up to rest in her hair. He was watching her with hooded eyes, mouth gaped open slightly, hissing quietly once she took him into her mouth completely, hand jerking him off where her mouth couldn’t reach.
“Fuck, baby,” He groaned out, eyes focused on how she kept choking around his cock, drool dribbling down her chin, “You take my cock so fucking well… take it like a slut… you’re my little slut, aren’t you? Hm?”
Y/N moaned against him, bobbing her head up and down even faster, feeling herself getting wetter at his words. She loves when he calls her that during sex, loves how rough and mean he can be when he’s forcing her to suck his cock until she cries or fucks her against the wall until she begs him to stop.
He can also be sweet, too. Most days, he’s careful and attentive, whispering how much he loves her and how lucky he is to be with her so intimately as he fucks her into their mattress. But other days, when he’s extra stressed out or misses her too much or gets pissed off because he’s jealous, he’ll fuck her like he is right now. And Y/N would lie if she said she didn’t look forward to it.
Y/N could tell he was about to cum. He was talking more, words filthy and raw, sloppily thrusting into her mouth. His cheeks were flushed, eyes blown wide, and his thighs were twitching like they always did right before he fills her with his load. She wanted him to cum in her mouth, but she wanted him to cum in her pussy even more.
She pulled off his dick with a soft pop, and his loud whine rang through her ears. “Jinnie,” She purred out so sweetly, fingers dancing up his torso to softly pinch at one of his nipples, “Can you please fuck me, baby? I’ve been such a good girl all day, and I’ve been so patient while you’ve been busy all morning.”
“No,” He breathed out, glaring down at her, “You don’t deserve that right now, petal. You’re going to shut up, put your pretty little lips around my cock, and finish me off.”
“Three minutes, and I swear to fuck I’m coming in!” Jisung’s voice yelled through the closed door. Hyunjin turned his head towards the door with a scowl, flipping it off as he yelled back, and Y/N took this opportunity to crawl up his body, roughly plopping herself down on his dick.
Hyunjin groaned loudly at the contact, hands gripping her hips tightly, glaring at her as she reached down to grab ahold of his dick. He had started lifting her up, about to shove her back down where she belongs, when Y/N reached her other hand up to wrap around his throat. He let out a choked moan, mouth falling open as she squeezed his neck ever so slightly.
“You heard him, Jinnie. Three minutes,” Y/N smiled at him, lifting her body up before coming right back down, her pussy sucking him in perfectly.
“Oh, fuck,” He whined out, voice getting caught in the back of his throat as her grip tightened.
“You feel so good, baby,” She moaned out, bouncing up and down on his cock, “You know you can’t deny me anything. You know my favorite place to cum is on your cock. And you’re going to lay there and let me.”
Hyunjin let out a loud whine, seemingly lost in the abyss that is Y/N’s pussy. “Fuck,” He cursed out shakily, breathlessly, hands coming up to grip at hers that were still wrapped around his neck, “F-fuck me… so good,”
“That’s right, Jinnie,” She picked up her pace, circling and grinding her hips on him, her pussy soaking his thighs, “Always fuck this cock so good. Love how it feels inside me… always so big and thick… makes me feel so full every time. Don’t know why you’d want to deny me this. You know I’m a slut for your cock. Want it all the time.”
“Mhm,” He hummed out a response, mouth gaped open as he watched her pussy swallowing him in, taking everything he’s giving her.
She let go of his throat, hands coming down to rest against his chest as she adjusted herself on him. She flicked her hair off her shoulder before holding herself up before coming back down, fucking him faster and harder. “You’re such a good boy for me, Jinnie. Letting me fuck you like this. You’re my pretty boy, aren’t you? My pretty boy who can’t resist being fucked like a whore.”
“One minute!” Jisung yelled again, but Y/N couldn’t comprehend it.
“Mhm, yeah, fuck, yeah,” Hyunjin kept mumbling words out with each bounce on his cock, looking throughly fucked out and submissive as fuck. His hands wandered up her body to grab ahold of her breasts, moaning loudly once he squeezed them in his hands.
“Say it, Jinnie,” She moaned out, leaning her body back to rest her hands on his legs, spreading her legs so he’d have a better look at how stretched out she was around him. He whimpered at the sight, hands coming down to grip at her thighs, attempting to lift her body back up so she’d move again.
“Say it, and I’ll let you cum inside me,” She said again, moving her hips torturously slow.
“I-I’m your pretty boy,” He whined out loudly, hips jerking upwards, and Y/N almost came.
He choked out a sob once she started moving again, whining and moaning out her name, how much he loved her, how good she’s making him feel. Y/N fucked him like it was the only thing she knew how to do—she fucked him until his eyes rolled back in his head, until his name was the only word falling off her lips.
Suddenly, the door slammed opened, with a loud yell of curses and oh fuck, my eyes!
“Oh, fuuuuck,” Hyunjin drawled out a low moan as he caught of glimpse of Jisung standing in the doorway, body going completely stiff as he came inside her.
Y/N finished shortly after with a loud cry of his name, collapsing on top of him with a breathless gasp. He laid limp beneath her for a few seconds, feeling like he had died and resurrected all at the same time, before fully coming back to his senses, quickly flipping them both over so he was now shielding her body from Jisung who was still standing there like a fucking idiot.
“Holy shit, I didn’t know you were a fucking sub!” Jisung laughed out, and Y/N shrieked, realizing that he was currently in the same room as them while they’re both completely naked.
“Shut the fuck up,” Hyunjin snapped at him, still sweating and attempting to catch his breath, “Would you get the fuck out?! And close the fucking door! I swear to god if someone walks by and sees her like this I’m going to kill you.”
“Calm down, pretty boy,” Jisung rolled his eyes, looking very much amused. Hyunjin’s jaw clenched. “The hallway is empty. Plus, I already saw her riding your dick like a pornstar. Nice ass, by the way.”
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Hyunjin growled out at his words, pushing away from Y/N as he stood up on his feet, turning around to start stalking over towards a now terrified Jisung who was bolting out the door just as quickly as he came in.
“Jinnie, it’s fine. Come here,” Y/N’s voice stopped him from following after Jisung, slamming the door back as he turned back around.
“He’s a fucking idiot and he will die for looking at your ass.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, “You’re so dramatic. Come here and kiss me, please.”
Hyunjin huffed in annoyance before doing what he was told, bending down to kiss her so sweetly, a complete contrast of what just occurred between them. She hummed into him happily, placing her hands against his face as she held him close to her.
“I love you, my pretty boy,” She said cheekily against his lips, giggling once he started grumbling at her to shut up before kissing her again anyway.
“I love you,” He mumbled back, melting into her as he started to lean her body back and crawl on top of her.
“Hyunjin! Seriously, come on!” Chan’s voice was heard behind the door this time, and he groaned loudly, pulling away from her to glare at the door.
“I’m coming, okay!” He yelled back, sighing as he stood back up, picking his pants and underwear up off the floor as he started putting them back on.
Y/N giggled again, sitting up to watch him, biting her lip slightly. He had just zipped up his pants when he glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. “What are you thinking about?”
“Just how much I love you and can’t wait for our trip tomorrow.”
Hyunjin smiled, throwing his black t-shirt on before walking back over towards her, “Just a few more hours and our tour will be over with and you’ll have me all to yourself, baby.”
He leaned in to kiss her again, and she pulled back with a grin, “Can’t wait.”
“Hm,” He hummed in response, kissing her one more time just because he can before heading over towards the door, adjusting himself in his pants as he smiled at her over his shoulder, “Don’t miss me too much, yeah?”
They both know that’s entirely impossible.
The sand was still warm beneath their feet, even though the sun had long since slipped behind the endless dunes. The night had unfolded slowly, until the sky above them stretched wide and clear, completely spilled over with stars.
Y/N tilted her head back, the top of her head softly brushing against Hyunjin’s chin, eyes tracing the numerous stars and constellations she half-remembered from their childhood. She felt her heart warm in her chest at the memories that flooded into her brain, hands resting against his own that were securely wrapped around her body, holding her close to him.
“You’re doing that thing again where you pretend you know what you’re looking at.” Hyunjin spoke lowly, his voice sending shivers down her spine.
“Excuse me? I do know what I’m looking at, thank you very much. I took Astronomy in college, you know?”
“Hm,” He hummed out like he didn’t believe her, “Enlighten me, then.”
“Well, that right there is, uh—“ She trailed off, pointing vaguely at some random area in the sky that had a cluster of stars, “It’s the big… something.”
“The big something?” Hyunjin cackled behind her, and Y/N could feel the side-eye he was giving her, “Classic. Great job, baby.”
Y/N’s face flushed, and she let out a small groan of embarrassment, leaning further into him. “Did you bring me all the way to the Sahara just to make fun of me, Jinnie? Cause that’s what it sounds like. You’ve been silently judging me this entire trip.”
“Believe it or not, petal, no. Not just for that,” He replied, his voice growing ten times softer.
She immediately noticed the shift, turning around to glance at him, heart stuttering in her chest when she realized he was already looking at her. She wondered for a second if he had been staring at her this entire time. With the way he’s looking at her right now, something tells her he was.
“Do you remember the first time we ever watched the stars together?”
“Of course I do,” Y/N replied, a little confused as to why his tone had shifted so suddenly, “We were twelve. Laying in your backyard. And then Sooyong got mad at us for getting dirt on the kitchen floor.”
Hyunjin smiled gently, gazing at her like he was trying to re-live the same memory. The wind blew, the sand landing on her cheek ever so softly, and she sat up a little more, stretching her body out on the hammock they were lying on.
“Why do you look like that?” She asked, eyes narrowing at how he’s looking at her—like he knows something she doesn’t.
“I thought you were beautiful then,” He confessed quietly, “Ever since I’ve met you, you’ve always made me feel weird. I always got this strange feeling in my stomach, and my hands would tingle every time you touched me. I never realized what I was feeling until that night, underneath the stars, lying beside you like it was exactly where I was always meant to be.”
The wind blew again, and his arms tightened around her, her hair lightly falling into her face. He reached his hand up, gently tucking it back behind her ear, letting his hand linger there as he softly caressed her face. “I thought you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life in that moment. And I still think that. I’ll always think that.”
The teasing tone she’d been carrying all evening faded, replaced by something deeper. She sat up fully now, eying him cautiously.
“You’re being weird,” She said, though there was no real accusation in it. She looked at him pointedly, “You’ve been like this the entire trip. Are you wanting me to blow you again or something? Why are you being so sweet all of a sudden?”
“No!” He said quickly, and Y/N squinted her eyes at him, studying his reaction, “Well, I always want you to, but that’s not it. Sorry. I’ve been trying not to be, but it’s not really working.”
Hyunjin took in a breath, staring up at the sky like he might borrow a little courage from it. She folded her arms loosely, eyes still on him, noticing how tense he suddenly was. “Okay, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
He hesitated for a second, smiling softly as he adjusted himself, sitting more upright. He shifted a little, reaching into his back pocket, and Y/N’s breath caught in her throat before she even saw what he was holding.
“I can’t ever hide anything from you, can I?” He laughed lightly to himself, shaking his head in amusement before pulling out a small velvet box. His hands were visibly shaking, fingers running against the outside of the box a couple times before he glanced back at her.
“You know, I used to think that the best part of my life was those nights I shared with you. Just you and me, lying together, watching the stars on the hood of my car. Just… being there with you, like nothing else in the world mattered,” He spoke out softly, his voice shaking just slightly. Y/N felt her throat closing up, frozen in place, not daring to speak.
“But then I fucked up, and things got complicated. We went different places, met different people, started new lives without each other… and somehow, every time something happened to me, rather it have been good or bad, the only person I’ve ever wanted to tell was you. Everything… has always came back to you.”
The wind blew again. Her hair flew across her face. But this time, he didn’t reach for it. He just kept looking at her, taking it all in, his eyes holding that shimmer in them that was always present whenever he looked at her.
“You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember, petal,” He whispered out, “And somewhere along the way, that stopped being enough for me. Not because it wasn’t incredible, but because I realized I wanted everything with you. The boring days where we’re just lounging around the house and rotting in bed together. The bad days when you come home from work crying and exhausted, or we’re a thousand miles away while I’m on tour. And the good days, whenever I wake up and the first thing I see is you lying beside me. I want all of it.”
He stood up then, running a hand across his head in the nervous habit he had, forgetting there was no hair there for him to even brush through. He laughed once he realized there was nothing there, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at him, feeling like her heart was about to burst out of her chest.
“I brought you here because this was the biggest sky I could think of,” He said with a small, nervous smile, “And even now, it still doesn’t feel big enough for what I’m trying to say.”
Hyunjin suddenly dropped to one knee, and Y/N’s hand immediately went up to her mouth, a quiet, stunned laugh escaping through her fingers. He cleared his throat, obviously nervous, before slowly opening up the box, taking out a diamond ring that immediately shined in the starlight.
“This past year with you has been anything but a dream—my dream. You’ve been patient with me, forgiving when you shouldn’t have been, and loved me through all my fucked up trauma. And there’s simply no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t have a made-up constellation for this, but if I did, it’d just be you. All of you.”
He held up the ring higher now, his hands still trembling. Y/N felt the tears start to flow down her face, and his eyes softened, “Y/N… my petal… will you marry me?”
For a heartbeat, the desert stood still. There was no more wind, no more distant conversations of people nearby. It was completely still—just him and her, just how it’s always been, just how it always will be.
“Yes,” Y/N replied breathlessly, nodding her head quickly, saying it like it’s the most certain yes she’s ever said in her life, “Yes. Of course, yes.”
“Thank fuck. I don’t know what I would’ve said if you told me no. Probably would’ve buried myself in the sand, honestly.” He let out a relieved laugh, blowing out a long breath that he’d definitely been holding for a hot minute. Y/N giggled excitedly, her hands shaking slightly as he slid the ring on her finger. She let out a little squeal, once it slid on just perfectly, wrapping her arms around him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder.
She pulled back after a minute, kissing him so tenderly, both of them giggling and smiling into it. She pulled away with another squeal of happiness, twirling the ring around her finger, admiring how it looked in the pale moonlight. It was a beautiful ring—her dream ring, given by her dream man. She almost couldn’t believe that this was happening right now, with Hyunjin, of all people.
Her Hyunjin.
“You’re such an idiot, and I love you so much.” She let out, her voice thick with emotion.
“Very true,” He pulled her back towards him, holding her tightly, “But I’m your idiot now. Your idiot who loves you more than anything.”
Y/N pulled back, just enough to look at him, smiling through her tears, “You always were my idiot, Jinnie.”
She leaned in to kiss him again, pulling back and doing a little happy dance as she held her hand up in front of her, “I just can’t believe this. We need to go inside so I can properly admire it.”
“Let’s lay here a little bit longer. I just want to be here with you. Admire me instead.”
Hyunjin led them back towards the hammock, peppering her entire neck with kisses as he wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her into his chest. She sighed happily, twirling the ring with her fingers, gazing up at the stars, thanking them for giving her this moment—for bringing him back to her.
“You know what would make this view even better?”
“What?” Y/N smiled in amusement, already knowing where this was heading.
“If you got on your knees for me. I’d love to see how perfect your hand will look around me as you choke on my cock. I might cum in two seconds, but I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”
“Like I said, you’re such an idiot.” Y/N scoffed in amusement. She could just see the shit-eating grin on his face.
An idiot, indeed, but he’s hers. And he would be for eternity.
y/n: GUESS WHO’S GETTING MARRIED
y/n: 1 attachment
lix🐥: bro
lix🐥: bROOO
lix🐥: i’m actually siCK because i fucking knew it!!!!!
minnie😼: damn that diamond thicc af
minnie😼: mans is LOADED
minnie😼: ain’t no way bro proposed next to a cactus
y/n: there’s no cacti out here, minho 🙄
y/n: and he proposed while we were stargazing outside our tent 🥰🥰🥰
lix🐥: romantic king
lix🐥: i knew this was happening on this trip, he was being too sus
minnie😼: did he at least get on one knee or did he sink in the sand
y/n: obviously he got on one knee
y/n: and there was no sinking or face planting, surprisingly
lix🐥: damn, i can’t believe i wasn’t there to push him over
y/n: he was so nervous stop 😭
lix🐥: well what did he say??? how’d he do it???
y/n: he basically was just being really sweet, telling me about the first time he realized he found me beautiful, telling me how much i mean to him
y/n: UGH, i love him so much
y/n: we were lying on the hammock outside our tent, and after he did his little spill, he just got down on one knee and popped the question
minnie😼: if he dropped the ring in the sand would u have still said yes
y/n: I WOULD’VE HELPED HIM DIG FOR THREE HOURS AND STILL SAID YES WTF
lix🐥: this is insane im feeling very emotional rn
y/n: awww lixie 🩷 i’ll still always be your bestie
lix🐥: not bc of u, i just realized im going to miss hyunjin cuddling w me after you fall asleep 💔
minnie😼: yes, will miss our threesomes 💔
y/n: … i hate both of you
lix🐥: we love u y/n 🩷🩷🩷
minnie😼: 🩷🩷🩷
y/n: i love y’all 🩷
minnie😼: ok enough with the grossness, send more pics of the ring
call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me | hwang hyunjin oneshot
— summary: Caught between practicality and feeling, Y/N and Hyunjin must decide if what they’ve built is just a fleeting connection of desire in each other’s beds, or the beginning of something worth crossing distances for.
OR, Hyunjin is an international student from South Korea who’s just so cute, and Y/N is smitten with him.
— pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— genre: internationalstudent!hyunjin, strangers-to-fuckbuddies-to-lovers au
— warnings/other: cursing, alcohol consumption (y/n gets drunk, woo), bestfriend!felix, lots of bickering between y/n and felix, humor, slight angst, mutual pinning (they are both idiots), hints of jealously, references to snapchat, setting takes place at uni, switch!hyunjin, sexual tension, smut consisting of: making-out, oral (m. receiving), f!masturbation, phone sex, lots of dirty talk, y/n is on top, unprotected sex, drunk sex, choking… there are like 3 smut scenes oop
— wc: 13.9k+
— a/n: this is something i’ve had in my drafts for awhile now and i finally got around to finishing it. i’ve been out of undergrad for 4 years now (jumpscare), so this is me, in a way, reliving the experience w/ a lil twist. enjoy!
"Hi," Y/N smiled softly, awkwardly, shyly. Her cheeks were tinted red from slight embarrassment from abruptly stopping the cute guy and his friend halfway up the stairs to the business building. The sun was blinding her vision so she had to place her hand on her forehead to get a better look at his reaction, praying it would not be a bad one.
"I'm uh—do you have snapchat, by any chance?"
She cringed once those words came out of her mouth, and cringed even more when noticing the blank look on the guys face. Why the hell did she ask for his Snapchat instead of his number?
The friend snickered loudly, pushing his sun glasses up his nose with a teasing smirk on his lips. The guy, however, almost looked as if he was in a slight trance, eyes big and lips parted. God, she thought to herself, he is so beautiful.
A few more seconds went by and Y/N finally came to the conclusion that she should just leave because one, cute guy was still not saying a word and two, the friend was still snickering like this was the funniest thing he’s ever seen. He even looked like he was about to bring his phone out to take a picture of her, probably to use as a meme. Yeah, she just needs to get the fuck out of here.
"Sorry for bothering you two. Have a nice day." Y/N rushed out, quickly turning on her heel to get away from the most embarrassing situation she has ever been in. She was going to kill Felix. Absolutely murder him.
"Snapchat?" A soft voice suddenly spoke behind her. Y/N stopped immediately, jerking her head around to see that cute guy had taken a few steps after her, his hair blowing slightly on his forehead from the headband holding it back, his eyebrows furrowing, almost as if he was in deep thought.
“Yes, I have!” He let out, fumbling with his phone in his hands, “I have the application, but don’t know how it really works.”
She smiled softly at this, taking a step towards him and gently grabbing his iPhone from his hands. "It's okay. I will show you how to add people," She took her phone out of her shorts pocket, opening the app herself to get ready to scan his ID. She had to prevent herself from squealing out loud from how cute his bitmoji was—a bun in his hair with a bunny onesie on.
"So I just hold the screen down and put the camera over your bitmoji, and then you just accept me as a friend." She spoke a little slower this time, giving him a sheepish grin. His eyes widened as he let out a long, "ahhh," accepting the request.
"Thank you!" He grinned, eyes crinkling, cheeks slightly rosy. Her heart almost burst right then.
"Yeah," She shyly smiled in return, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "My name is Y/N, by the way."
"My name is Hyunjin."
"Nice to meet you, Hyunjin," She replied, and he responded with a happy nod. The friend snickered again, suddenly patting him on the shoulder.
Y/N heard them conversing and saw the friend nod his head over towards the business building. Hyunjin nodded quickly, glancing at Y/N once more.
"I go to class now. Thank you for the snapchat. I will talk to you soon. Have a nice day!" He exclaimed, bowing slightly. He adjusted the Versace bag on his shoulder, turning around with his friend to walk towards the building.
Y/N let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, her heart beating ridiculously fast at the encounter she just had. In the distance, she could hear Felix laughing very loudly, turning around to see that he had came out of his crouched position behind the bushes.
"And this was Y/N’s pathetic attempt of getting an international student's snapchat on the famous stairs of the business building.” Felix laughed, his phone covering his face as he walked closer towards her.
"Felix!" Y/N shouted, quickly grabbing his phone from his hands and ending the interaction he thought was a great idea to record, "I hate you. Delete this shit. And stop making fun of me. You made me do this!"
"Fuck," Felix whined out as she smacked him in the back of the head, "I hate when you do that. Also, I did not make you do anything. I just gave you a little shove and off you went."
Y/N scoffed, "Oh, yeah. You patronized me and said I was all talk. Of course that will make me do it! It's your doing."
Y/N walked past him, making sure to intentionally shove his shoulder as she went by, grabbing her bag that was next to the bushes and slinging it over her shoulder. Felix rolled his eyes, locking his phone and shoving it in his pocket before grabbing his own bag before jogging up to catch up with Y/N who was currently speed walking down the sidewalk. "Anyway, let's just put this all aside and focus on what's more important here. You got what you wanted! What's the next step? Should we target another poor man that peaks your interest and do a replay?"
"Oh, shut up. That's offensive, one, and two, this was literally my first and probably last time doing this. He probably won't even snapchat me." Y/N checked her phone as they kept walking, eyes widening slightly at the snapchat notification displayed on her lock screen.
Hyunjin🌹 is typing...
"Well, he's been typing for two minutes now without sending a text. Sad. On to the next!" Felix cheered teasingly, fist bumping the air in an onwards motion. Y/N shoved him slightly, mumbling another shut up and shaking her head as she kept staring at her lock screen, anxiously waiting for the next notification to pop up.
"You know, the more you stare the longer it will take for him to reply. It's scientifically proven."
"Says who?" She scoffed, deciding to just place her phone back in her shorts pocket and not think about it too much. This was all stupid, anyways. She should have never embarrassed herself in the first place.
"Me," He smirked, “On the real, though, if he doesn't reply by the time our class is over, let's do this again. It's very amusing and gives me an excuse not to study for my physics exam coming up."
"I think if he doesn't reply by the time our class ends it's your turn to embarrass yourself. I'd love to record it and send it to your mom. She'd love that this is how you're spending your senior year."
"Don't patronize me or I might just." He winked, opening the double doors to the life sciences building. They both walked inside, sighing in relief at the instant coolness in the building. It was always so humid here, especially at this time of year. It was something the two still couldn't get used to.
"How many more times are you going to tell me to shut up today?" Felix asked as Y/N muttered another shut up as they made their way down the hallway to lecture hall.
"As many times you give me a reason to."
"Touché."
Making their way into their last biology lecture of the day, Y/N sat down in the seat with a huff, slinging her bag on the floor in front of her as she spread her legs a little on the seat. She hated herself for forgetting a water bottle today. It felt like it was ten times hotter than it was yesterday.
"Ew, nasty bitch," Felix spoke as he also slumped down into his seat beside her. "Close those legs. You look like a hooker."
Y/N slapped him on the back of the head (again), taking his water bottle from his hands and taking a long sip. "I have thick thighs and it's hot. My thighs are chafing. Leave me alone."
Felix mumbled a soft ouch, deciding to just stop offending his best friend in hopes of not getting abused again. He's been hit too much today, and it's only the afternoon. He grumbled a few curse words to himself, jerking his water bottle back from her hands and chugging the rest of it.
As Felix leaned down to retrieve his textbook and a couple highlighters, Y/N discreetly took another look at her phone, feeling a wave of disappointment as she still didn't have a notification from cute guy—well, Hyunjin. The thought made her slightly upset considering the fact that he was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen, but she shook that thought off and decided to not let it bother her. It was just one silly interaction that obviously meant nothing.
"Ten bucks he replied." Felix spoke suddenly, flipping his microbiology textbook to open to chapter three. "Nope," Y/N replied, holding her hand out in front of his face with a grin, "you owe me ten bucks."
"Nah, I'll just buy dinner tonight instead. Was going to order takeout anyway." He shoved her outstretched hand away from his face. "Japanese good?"
"Yep." She replied, stuffing her phone into her bag with a sigh, desperately trying to not focus on Hyunjin and choosing instead to take out her books and focus on things way more important. Obviously.
Pulling her hair up into a claw clip as the professor began talking, Y/N let out another sigh, opening her textbook to chapter three and getting ready to highlight her way through lecture. It was the only way she could study without over cramming. "That girl over there is kind of cute," Felix suddenly whispered, jerking his head towards his right. She peaked over, seeing a girl with sunglasses on her head holding her hair back. She raised her eyebrow.
"Go ask for her number then."
"Nah. Don't want to embarrass myself like you did. Will ruin my chances 100%."
Y/N elbowed him in the side, causing him to let out a quiet sound of pain. "I hate you."
“Likewise."
"I seriously can't believe you've done this."
Felix was currently shoving half of a piece of sushi and bits and pieces of steak and rice down his throat, not bothering to look up. "Done what?" He asked, pieces of food falling out of his mouth. Y/N cringed.
"You took my shrimp sauce, idiot." She replied, stabbing her shrimp roughly with the fork in her hand, glaring at a happy Felix who had poured enough shrimp sauce on his food to the point where it looked like he was eating soup. "Disgusting." She mumbled out.
"I didn't steal your shrimp sauce. I asked for two extras, so this," He pointed his half eaten sushi roll at the now empty containers of sauce on the table, "is mine. Ask for extra next time if you're going to whine about it."
Y/N scoffed, dipping her shrimp in some soy sauce before taking a bite. "They only gave you one extra and you so willingly took my shrimp sauce that came with my meal, so I have every right to whine about it. Now I'm stuck with just soy sauce because of you."
"Don't disrespect soy sauce like that." He spoke, continuing to shove his mouth full of food.
"Don't talk with your mouth full. It's disgusting."
"You're disgusting," Felix finished his sushi roll, picking up the to-go box full of food and leaning back on the sofa. "You didn't even say thank you for the food I bought you. That's what makes you disgusting, and rude, and annoying, and—I need some hot sauce."
Felix put his food back on the table in front of them, jogging to the fridge. Y/N rolled her eyes, deciding to just stop arguing about her stolen shrimp sauce and focus on eating. "I don't need to say thank you, you know it's always appreciated." She said as Felix sat back down on the couch, opening the bottle and adding some sauce to his plate. He hummed in response, mixing around his food with his spoon before settling back into his position.
"The spice is immaculate," He moaned happily, “Next time we just need to get some Korean food. This is making me want some Tteok-bokki."
"We should just go buy some ingredients and make some ourselves. Don't you have your mom's recipe from that cookbook she made you before you left for university?"
"Yes, but I'm too lazy to make my own. Tomorrow night we're getting Korean food. Also, don't mention that ever again. I still hear her nagging voice in the back of my head." He visibly shivered, continuing to scarf down the food in front of him. Y/N laughed lightly, taking a bite of her food when a phone notification caught her attention.
Hyunjin🌹 is typing...
Y/N locked her phone immediately, knowing that this would just be another episode of cute guy typing a message that he would never send. Y/N had decided that he was way out of her league—he looked like he belonged on the cover of Vogue while she looked like the scuff on the bottom of her shoe.
Another snapchat notification popped up as she took another bite of her food, eyes widening slightly at the new notification displayed on her lock screen.
Snapchat from Hyunjin🌹
"Well shit,” She whispered to herself.
"Well shit indeed!" Felix yelled from beside her, causing her to jump from the sudden noise. "Why the hell did you yell so loud in my ear?!" Y/N yelled back, grabbing her ear and leaning away from a grinning Felix.
"Sorry," He smiled sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders as if to say I'm not really sorry. "Are you going to reply or am I going to have to do that for you?"
Y/N groaned in annoyance, "I'm not replying right now. He just sent a text, it's going to make me look desperate."
"Well you are desperate," He stuffed his face full of food once again, taking a long sip of Modelo before placing it back on the table. Y/N scoffed. "And honestly, if you don't reply now, he will probably take long to reply again, and then I'll have to listen to you whining about how he isn't interested, and all offense, but I simply don't have time for that. So I suggest you just take my advice since obviously I know how guys work, especially Koreans—"
"Will you just shut up for once?" Y/N interrupted him, taking a sip of the water bottle in front of her and leaning back with a sigh. "How are you so sure, anyway?"
"Trust me, I know."
She stared at him, he stared back. An episode from season one of Grey's Anatomy was blaring in the background from the TV. Felix slowly began to put another bite of his food into his mouth, never breaking eye contact, and Y/N rolled her eyes slightly before following simultaneously, adverting her attention back to her food.
"Ha! You blinked, you lost. Now do as I say and give me your phone right now."
"I am not giving you my phone!"
"Fine! You're being stupid. Quite frankly it's pissing me off. Don't complain about how boys don't show you attention and how you wished you could get a boyfriend and then not do anything about it." Felix shrugged his shoulders, leaning back into the couch to focus his attention back on the episode (and food) in front of him.
Y/N groaned quietly, pouting slightly as she glanced at her phone on her lap. She knew Felix was right and hated when he was. What exactly is the big deal, anyway? It's just one snapchat. Maybe cute guy just wants to make friends and can just start hanging out with her and Felix. It's not like it would lead to anything romantic anyway. Right?
"Fine." She sighed in defeat, unlocking her phone and going straight to the snapchat app, not wasting any time in clicking on his name. She could just feel his sly grin behind her.
Hyunjin🌹: Hi~
Felix snickered loudly, "All these hours and he just says hi. Classic move."
Y/N punched him in the shoulder as he let out a yelp, biting her lip lightly as she began typing back. Immediately, his bitmoji popped up in the corner, and she smiled a little at how eager he was to see she was finally replying.
y/n😇: hi :)
"This is making me want to barf."
"Felix, will you please shut up?" Y/N snapped.
"I will if you give me the answers to the micro homework. I have to write a lab report for physics tonight that I have not started, so any help would be greatly appreciated."
"Fine, yeah. I'll email you the answers," She waved him off, grabbing her togo box of food and her water before standing up. He grinned happily, downing his beer in a couple gulps before propping his feet up on the table.
“I’m going to finish my bio-chem homework. Don’t follow me. And don’t be loud.”
"I better get on my shit too before it's due at midnight," He mumbled with a mouthful of food, “G'night, love you!"
"Love you too, pig." She blew him a kiss, walking into her room in their shared apartment and closing the door. Sighing, she plopped herself down at her desk, opening her phone again to the snapchat app.
Hyunjin🌹: Sorry for my late reply. I was in class and the teacher saw me on phone😱
Y/N giggled because cute guy is just so cute. Only three texts in and she's already feeling weird inside. How embarrassing.
y/n😇: hahaha, no problem! i was pretty busy today anyway. & oh no, did they call u out?
Hyunjin🌹: No. I‘m just too handsome
"You're definitely not wrong there." She spoke aloud to herself, wondering if she should use this opportunity to flirt.
She did.
y/n😇: yes you are. your bitmoji is a tad bit cuter though
Hyunjin🌹: Bunny makes me cute. But I’m not, I’m handsome only 😎
y/n😇: a handsome, cute bunny 🍆
And shit, Y/N definitely did not mean to send the eggplant emoji. How convenient it was that the winking emoji just so happened to be right beside the eggplant. "Shit,” She whispered to herself, seeing that Hyunjin’s bitmoji was just sitting in the corner, probably in shock that she basically sent a dick reference in their first ever conversation.
She quickly locked her phone and threw it on the bed beside her, deciding it wouldn't even be worth it to try and cover it up, not wanting to confuse him with a bombard of texts. Why is she such an embarrassment to society?
"Lix!" She yelled, to which she immediately heard a response. "Come here! Now! We have an emergency!"
Within seconds, Felix was busting open the bedroom door, his cheeks full of food as he aggressively chewed in order to get all his food down without choking, "What? What is it? Don’t tell me it’s another cockroach."
"It's..." Y/N trailed off, knowing how stupid she was going to sound even saying it, "I accidentally sent Hyunjin an eggplant emoji and I'm lowkey freaking out because I don't want him to think I'm some horny girl who wants his dick.”
Felix blinked.
"But... you are?" He questioned in confusion, resulting in one of Y/N’s plushies to hit him in his face.
"I am not!"
"Yes, honey, you most definitely are," Felix replied, kicking the plushie that hit him in the face across the room. He watched the cat roll away in disgust. He was always getting abused by these things. "Literally the first thing you told me when you saw him was that you wanted to—and I quote—ride his dick until he begs you to cum."
Y/N groaned, rolling over to squish her face into her pillows so that he couldn't see her slightly embarrassed state. She let out a sound of annoyance before sitting up, facing a smirking Felix who has now made his way to sitting on the edge of the bed. "Okay, I'm horny. It's a natural biological response for men and women to feel this way. What is your point?"
"What is your point?" He shot back, “Obviously, you have nothing to lose. He's either going to take the eggplant as in you want his dick, or he won't take it any way at all. He probably doesn't understand the reference, anyway. Just look at the damn phone and stop being stupid."
"I can't, you do it."
"Seriously?" He asked, surprise written on his face.
"Yes, now hurry up before I change my mind."
Felix wasted no time with grabbing her phone, seeing a notification from Hyunjin on her lock screen, immediately opening it.
He suddenly snorted loudly, catching Y/N’s attention. "What? Is it bad? What's happening?"
"Ah, just as I suspected," He chuckled, tossing the phone on the bed so that the opened message was on display in front of her. Y/N glanced down, sighing in relief.
Hyunjin🌹: ?
"Well," Felix started, getting up off of the bed and slowly backing away, "I am now leaving because I am no longer needed nor interested. Don't forget to send me the homework!"
Y/N rolled her eyes, throwing another plushie and hitting Felix in the back as he ran out of the room, closing the door behind him. "Asshole," She mumbled to herself before picking her phone up, trying to figure out what the fuck to say back.
y/n😇: my hand slipped, sorry
After sending the text and just staring at his bitmoji that was now just sitting there, Y/N quickly began typing another sentence to send, not wanting to come off short or uninterested, because she most definitely was.
y/n😇: what are you doing tomorrow?
He immediately started typing, and she smiled a little, mentally patting herself on the back for keeping good conversation.
Hyunjin🌹: I have class middle of the morning. Then I am off the rest of the day
Hyunjin🌹: What about you?
y/n😇: i also have class mid-morning, then i am free the rest of the day!
Hyunjin🌹: Do you want to meet for lunch?
Hyunjin🌹: Would you like to meet for lunch, I mean
Y/N smiled to herself, biting her lip slightly, letting out a little squeal of happiness. She felt so stupid for feeling like this just because cute guy asked her to get lunch with him, but she just couldn’t help it. He quite literally made her feel like she was in middle school again, and she didn’t mind it one bit.
y/n😇: yeah, i'd love to! :)
"You have been sitting here moving your leg up and down since we've sat down. You need to chill the fuck out."
Y/N shot a glare at Felix, picking up her drink he got her after class and taking a long sip, savoring the taste of the iced coffee, but only for a second. "I am chill. I'm just giddy because I've had too much caffeine today."
"Lies," He snorted, pushing his ray bans up his nose with two of his fingers before taking a bite of his sandwich, “Just admit you're nervous. There's nothing wrong with that."
"I'm not nervous. Just...giddy."
"You're giddy because you're nervous."
"You're ugly."
"What the hell?"
"Fine, I'm nervous," She sighed, sipping more of her drink and glancing at her phone. Only a few more minutes before Hyunjin would text her letting her know he was out of class and she would make her way over to the courtyard to meet him. The thought made her want to throw up a little. Or a lot.
"I don't know why. It's not like it's an actual date or anything. He just asked to get lunch. It's like what we're doing right now. Just two best friends sitting down sipping a nice, cold coffee together while we enjoy the sun." Felix sighed happily, glancing at the sun that was currently covering their faces and bringing sweat more towards the surface on their skin.
"Yeah, that's definitely not the same thing."
Before Felix could reply, Y/N had already found herself letting out a little squeal once she checked her phone, flopping it on the table in front of them. It landed with a loud clash. “He’s out of class!” She shouted out in a whisper, fanning herself with her hands, “Fuck, it’s so hot out here. I think I’m going to pass out.”
Felix looked at her, an exasperated look on his face, eyes narrowing in on his best friend’s god-awful appearance. He let out a sigh of annoyance, “You are seriously going to give me a headache. Stop acting like a lunatic. You’re making people look over here.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. Help me, how do I look? Do I look okay?”
Felix took note of how her hair was starting to frizz up, a couple curls sticking out from the claw clip she had in. Her eyes were wide and frantic, sweat slowly dripping down her forehead and causing her curls to stick to her face. She really did look like she was about to pass out. “Yeah, you look hot.” He decided to reply, knowing it wasn’t necessarily a lie.
She let out a long sigh at his response, pulling her tank top down a bit to display her cleavage a little bit more because why the fuck not, standing up to smooth out her matching leggings. Felix eyed her, and Y/N could just feel him judging her.
“What now?” She snapped, and he let out a scoff.
“You definitely are trying to suck this man’s dick today.”
Y/N looked at him, slightly offended, “Excuse me?”
Felix grinned, swirling his iced coffee in his hands obnoxiously loud, “You heard me correctly. Why else would you wear that? Your ass is the size of Juniper in those leggings and your tits are about to spill out of the damn top.”
Y/N glared at him, picking up her bag from the empty chair beside them and throwing it over her shoulder. She didn’t say anything back, partially because he might have been right, but also because he was annoying. As always.
“Have fun! Use protection!” He shouted out once she started walking away. She flicked him off from behind before walking down the stairs, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.
So what if she wanted to suck his dick? That doesn’t mean she’s going to come off desperate and pull his pants down in the middle of the courtyard. She isn’t that down bad. A girl’s got some self-restraint. He probably didn’t even want her the same way anyway, so really, she’s just happy that he wants to even meet up with her. Y/N has no issue with him just wanting to become her friend, even if he looks so effortlessly beautiful and so tall and so—
Her thoughts and steps came to an abrupt pause once she laid eyes on him. He was sitting on one of the many benches, body slumped back, bag sitting next to him, legs spread apart. Normally man-spreading gives her the ick, but she felt her face heat up even more than it already was when seeing him do it. He looked relaxed, just scrolling through his phone like he had nothing else to do, and Y/N had to close her eyes for a second in attempts to calm herself down before walking towards him.
She felt her pulse spike when she opened them again, seeing that he was now starring at her. He grinned, waving at her with his free hand, and Y/N was forced to move her legs again, really focusing on not tripping or doing anything super embarrassing. As she got closer, he stood up, slinging the same Versace bag over his shoulder and shoving his phone into his back pocket.
“Hi, Y/N,” He grinned once she stood in front of him, accent making her immediately want to fall to her knees, “Did I say right? Y/N?”
God, she’s such a simp already. “Hi, Hyunjin. And yes, you did.” She replied, eyes quickly scanning him from head-to-toe.
He was wearing a pair of sweat shorts and a cut-out tee, a pair of Versace sunglasses sitting atop his head to hold his hair back. His nails were painted black, a little chipped, fingers nice and long, a couple of rings shining from the sun hitting them. His arms were slightly flexed from holding his bag up, muscles seeming to hypnotize her, and fuck, how can someone even be this attractive?
The flush on her cheeks grew once she glanced back towards his face, the friendly grin replaced with something a little more sinister, a little more teasing. She felt her armpits start to sweat.
“How are you?” He decided to ask, the teasing glint in his eyes not faltering, lips curled into a smirk.
“I’m good. Doing great. How are you?” She replied before clearing her throat quietly, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. Why did he make her so nervous?
He let out a little hum, eyes briefly glancing down towards her thighs before looking up at her again, “I’m doing fine, thank you.”
The tension in the air was so thick and Y/N felt like she might pass out if he looked at her any longer. “How was class?” She blurted out, the sweat now slowly creeping down her back, neck hot with his gaze.
“Boring,” He chuckled, adjusting the bag on his shoulder lightly, “Class is always boring. Was thinking about this entire time.”
“Oh, really?” She breathed out, feeling like she was breathless all of a sudden. The heat pouring onto her skin was starting to feel suffocating, and at this point she didn’t know if she was dripping from the sweat or from him. “Me too. I’ve been looking forward to this all morning.”
“Good.” He mumbled out in response, a pleased look on his face. She gulped.
“So, uh, where do you want to eat?” She let out, dying to get out of this heat and sit down somewhere so she could actually think again.
He studied her for a moment, eyes glancing back downwards, and Y/N could feel her thighs clenching together. He let out another hum, “You come back to mine? I can make you ramen. My car is nearby, so not too much walking.”
Go back to his? Y/N could scream right now.
She took note of his relaxed stance, his plush lips still curled into that same expression, the same darkened glint in his eyes—and she suddenly felt cold, despite the blazing heat surrounding them. Y/N knew where this was going. And with the way he was currently looking at her, she simply couldn’t refuse—not when he’s placing everything she wants on a silver platter right in front of her.
She just simply couldn’t refuse. Which is why she now found herself not even thirty minutes later kneeling in between his thighs, mouth wrapped around his cock, like this exactly where she belongs.
“Fuck,” Hyunjin moaned out, hands gripping the back of her head so tight, eyes trained on the way her mouth was quite literally sucking him in.
He was big, just as she thought he would be, so it was no surprise when she couldn’t fit all of him into her mouth. She used one of her hands to jerk him off at the same time, head going up and down so fast, spit messily dripping out of her mouth and down onto the couch he was currently sat on.
She suddenly pulled her mouth away from him, right hand continuing to jerk him off. “Why… why stop?” He whined out, hips thrusting forward, the tip of his dick grazing her lips.
She didn’t reply, choosing instead to lean her lips down, licking a long stripe up and down his balls. His eyes widened, hips jerking forward, cursing out loud in Korean. Y/N found herself rubbing her thighs together at the sound, repeating the same motion over and over again before moving back up, tongue sliding up to the tip of his dick. She let it linger there for a moment.
“Wanna fuck my face?”
Hyunjin blinked. And then he blinked again. Y/N took note of how flushed his cheeks were, how dark his eyes were, how messy his hair was—and she wondered for a second if he even knew what she was asking. But before she could say anything else, his hands were gripping her hair even harder than before, slamming her face back down towards his dick.
Her mouth opened immediately, the tip of his dick hitting the back of her throat repeatedly. She gagged around his cock, spit pouring out, eyes watering from the constant stimulation. He glanced down, hooded eyes locked on the way she was taking his cock, hands forcefully holding her head in place while he fucked her mouth. It was lewd, messy, and everything in between.
Hyunjin let out a throaty groan when seeing the many tears streaming down her face, head falling backwards towards the couch. Y/N let out a choked moan in response, hands creeping up to massage his balls, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He cursed out loud again, hips coming to a sudden halt, hands pushing her face down to keep her in place, and he came with a loud whine, mouth agape as his whole body shivered.
She kept sucking him off, working him through his orgasm as she collected every last bit of him. He whined again, hips twitching, and she pulled off of him with a pop before swallowing.
He laid there for a second to catch his breath. Y/N’s eyes zeroed in on the way his dick was still sitting there, slightly soft and leaking, begging for her to put it back into her mouth. He quite literally had the prettiest dick she’s ever seen. But really, she isn’t surprised—everything about him was pretty.
She glanced up at his face to see that he was already starring at her, mouth formed into a fucked-out smirk, eyes glossy and dark. He said something in Korean that Y/N couldn’t understand before letting out a soft laugh, hand rubbing down his face briefly.
“I can’t… English,” He laughed again, and Y/N giggled in response, hands softly coming up to rest on his thighs. He let out a content sigh, “Sorry. My English is not… very good. Can’t think now.”
“It’s okay,” She smiled back, finding him to be the most precious thing she has ever seen. She just wants to kiss him. And kiss him again. And then kiss him some more.
Hyunjin looked embarrassed, cheeks flushed, hair slightly sticking to his forehead. The flush deepened when she started to softly rub his thighs, and he finally worked up the courage to look at her again.
“Come here,” He mumbled out, voice a little raspy, hand gently laying against her own. She smiled a little, moving her body to sit flush against his thighs, and he placed his hands on her hips, biting his lip as he glanced downwards.
“I’ll make you feel good. And then I’ll make you ramen. Okay?” He asked, hands creeping down in between her thighs.
“Okay.” She smiled back.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve been fucking this guy for three months now and you’re scared to invite him to my party tonight because it might give off the wrong impression?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re also scared that if you bring him, other girls will hit on him and you’ll be forced to watch and not be able to do anything about it?”
“Yes.”
Felix blinked, “Do you realize how contraindicating that sounds?”
“Yes,” Y/N sighed, slumping back into their couch in their shared living room. She curled her legs up towards her body, forehead coming down to lay on her knees. Her head was starting to hurt. “Yes, I know. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick.”
Y/N was currently in the middle of, yet again, another crisis—another crisis that involves Hyunjin. Sweet, handsome, and precious Hyunjin.
Y/N had one rule for herself—no catching feelings. It was a simple rule, an easy rule, a piece of cake. Y/N has fucked around with guys before, so this wasn’t anything new to her. But Hyunjin was just different, and he made her feel things she’s never felt before with anyone, which now puts her in a pretty bad predicament.
She thought it was going to be just another hook-up. He’d get his fair share and she’d get hers, and then they would never speak to each other again unless it was to politely greet each other in passing on campus. Instead, it turned into more days of grabbing food on campus and walking to classes together, more evenings of meaningful conversation and slight touches, and more nights tangled in each others sheets. His smile, his laugh, the way his fingers twitch just slightly when they’re next to each other, the way his cheeks get flushed so quickly when he’s speaking and suddenly can’t form words—it all makes her feel fuzzy inside, and she was starting to go insane.
So yeah, this is her sixth crisis over him in the span of three months. And she feels like she might explode.
Y/N could feel him burning holes into the side of her head, “Have you ever thought of, I don’t know, actually communicating with him about your confused feelings?”
“No.” She immediately mumbled back, body slumping more into the couch. Felix sighed.
“And why not? For all you know, Hyunjin might feel the same. And considering the way he acts around you, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Y/N lifted her head up with a groan, hands coming up to cover her face instead, “He doesn’t. I know he doesn’t. And I don’t even know what I feel.”
“I think you do. You’re just being dramatic, just like him,” Felix replied with an eye roll, shifting a little on the couch, “Why do you think he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“We don’t even text like normal people. We still talk solely on Snapchat like we’re in middle school. He even calls me off Snapchat… who calls someone off Snapchat? That just screams FWB!”
“Are you serious?” Felix scoffed in reply, and Y/N glanced up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at his face, “First of all, you’re the one who asked for his Snapchat when you so desperately chased him up those stairs. And you haven’t even asked for his number either. He probably thinks that’s what you communicate mostly on. Don’t put this all on him.”
Before Y/N could let out a snarky reply, Felix interrupted her, “—and that’s not even a good enough excuse as to why he doesn’t feel the same. The man texts you every single day, calls you every night when you’re not fucking him in his bed, and brings you Starbucks to the library in between classes. If he just wanted to fuck you, do you really think he would go through all this effort to just be around you? Not to mention, you’re just as down bad, because I definitely caught you on Duo Lingo in the library the other week. Why else would you suddenly want to learn Korean? And don’t say it’s because of me, because we both know that’s full of shit.”
Y/N was quiet, glancing down at her hands, softly picking at her nails—a habit she tends to do when she’s feeling upset. She decided to ignore his last comment, a little embarrassed at the fact that he saw her practicing Korean, but so what? Felix let out another sigh, “Look, I’m not trying to make you feel bad or whatever. I just think you’re being stupid about this whole situation. You’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you like this. Hyunjin’s a good guy. I think you should just talk to him, is all. You know I can help too if you’re worried about the language barrier, but I think you both get along just fine.”
As if the universe just knew, Y/N’s phone suddenly vibrated, a notification popping up on her screen that seemed all too familiar.
Snapchat from Hyunjin🌹
She tried to ignore the way her heart jumped in her chest, feeling so dumb for even feeling like this over a stupid Snapchat notification. The notification seemed like it was taunting her, testing her. She felt Felix’s stare, felt the pressure building in her chest, and opened the app.
Hyunjin🌹: What are you doing tonight?
It was a question she’s received many times before that always ended up with either his face or his dick between her legs. She starred at it for a moment, a bubbling feeling rising in her chest. His bitmoji was peaking in the corner, just sitting there, waiting. She felt sick.
y/n😇: going to felix’s frat’s party
Her response was short. Normally she would reply with a little more enthusiasm, a little more context, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She watched as his bitmoji stayed in the corner for a minute—saw how it kept switching back to writing to just peaking a few times before he finally replied.
Hyunjin🌹: Oh~
Hyunjin🌹: I hope you have good time!
Y/N bit her lip slightly, starring at his messages for a second before deciding to swipe out of the chat. She knows she’s being irrational and slightly rude, but honestly, it’s for the better. She just needs to think over some things and have some space from Hyunjin, no matter how much her heart and her body might not want to.
Her phone vibrated again with another notification as soon as she placed it down on her thighs.
Hyunjin🌹: Don’t drink and drive please. If you need ride home, I can come get you
Hyunjin🌹: I will keep phone on just in case you need me
Hyunjin🌹: Have a good time ❤️
“Soooo,” Felix sang out, “What’s the verdict?”
Y/N didn’t reply right away, eyes zeroed in on the little red heart at the end of his text. It’s the first time he’s sent her one in the three constant months of them talking. She thought for a second that maybe he just sent it by accident just as she did with the eggplant emoji awhile back, but when he never started typing again, bitmoji still peaking in the corner like he was waiting on her to reply, she panicked, and slid out of the chat once again.
Why is she so worked up over it? It was a simple emoji—people use it all the time out of context. And really, Hyunjin is just a sucker for cute things and just being cute. He’s sent her kissy faces before, has sent her cute little gifs of cats blowing her kisses, so why is a simple heart causing her to feel like she’s going crazy? It’s just Hyunjin.
And that seems to be exactly the problem.
“I think I need some space.” She blurted out. Felix eyed her for a minute, and she could tell that he was slightly judging her again, but she didn’t care.
“Alright,” He finally let out, standing up from the couch, stretching his back a bit before letting out an overdramatic groan, “Suit yourself. We’re leaving in an hour, so if you’re riding with me, you better go get dressed. We need to stop by the liquor store on the way.”
Y/N nodded in reply, eyes still locked on the phone in front of her. Hyunjin never started typing again. She hated that she felt disappointed.
Felix started walking away, hand on the doorknob to his room, before he turned around. “Hey,” He spoke out. Y/N looked up. “Don’t stress so much about it. Just have a good time tonight, clear your head, and we’ll revisit this conversation tomorrow. I just don’t want you to wait too long. It’s not fair to you or him.”
She hated the fact that he was right. He always was. “Yeah,” She replied, hesitantly, “I know.”
Y/N has been drunk a handful of times.
College parties were never her cup of tea. Felix was in a fraternity, (a fraternity for pre-med majors, which seemed a little contradictory to her, because weren’t medical professionals supposed to not encourage bad habits?), so all of the college parties she’s been to were through his frat—Phi Delta Epsilon.
Phi Delta Epsilon always hosts a big party at the end of every semester. Not to say that it was the only parties they hosted, but these in particular were a big deal. It was always labeled as the biggest fraternity event on campus, where hundreds of college students came to get drunk and hook-up in bathrooms and everything in between. Y/N had always heard of these specific parties, always found herself taking care of a very drunk Felix who always stumbled home around 3am, (she always wondered how he got home. He was always completely obliterated), but she never actually attended one—not one of these. Well, not until tonight, of course.
Y/N had been drunk a handful of times, but this time might be the icing on the cake.
“Holy shit,” Jisung, one of Felix’s frat brothers, laughed out in disbelief, once Y/N slammed down another shot of Tequila. She just completely demolished a whole singular row of shots, and she quite literally felt like she might throw up. “Damn, Y/N. I’ve never seen you drink like this. Who broke your heart?”
Y/N’s mind immediately drifted to Hyunjin, and she wanted to slap herself in the face when realizing that this was her tenth time thinking of him tonight. And she’s only been here for two hours.
“Ji, why did you dare her to do that? You know she can’t handle her liquor.” Another voice piped up, a deep voice that she’s heard plenty of times before.
“I didn’t think she would actually take all five!” He replied back defensively, “I’m honestly shocked. I don’t even think I could do that.”
“Of course you can’t. You’re a lightweight, and you only drink beer. One shot would knock you out.” Another voice piped up, a voice belonging to Changbin, another member of the frat. Y/N always liked them—they came over sometimes to hang out in between classes, and weren’t complete assholes like most of the other guys.
They began bickering again, and Y/N found herself swaying slightly, vision slightly blurry. She doesn’t know if it’s from the shots she just took or from the smoke that was starting to cloud up the room.
“Nah, Y/N has been wild tonight. Did you not see her making out with Minho earlier? Kate was pissed.” Jisung snickered, and Y/N felt like she really might throw up now.
Felix started walking over to her, steadying her with his arms, and Y/N felt like crying all of a sudden. “Fuck,” She groaned out, annoyed with herself, “I did make out with him, didn’t I? Why did I do that?”
Her words were a little slurred, and she felt on edge. Felix noticed, letting out a slightly annoyed sigh. “Let’s go find a bathroom.” He grumbled out before grabbing ahold of her hand to lead her to the nearest bathroom, which was thankfully only a couple steps away.
He knocked on the door, and once he didn’t hear a reply, started to open it, when Y/N stopped him. “Lixie, you don’t have to come in with—with me,” She mumbled out, feeling the bile slowly rising up in her throat, “I’m fine. I’ll feel better once I throw up.”
He rolled his eyes, not wanting to cause a fight, “Fine. I’m waiting outside the door.”
She nodded, opening the door and stumbling inside. It was much quieter now, the music sounding slightly muffled, and she felt like she could finally think again. But before she could take a second to just relax, she rushed towards the toilet, spilling out every single bit of those shots she just downed minutes prior.
The sting was awful, and she found herself sweating a little after dry heaving a couple times. Once she was finished, she flushed the toilet, leaning back against the wall behind her. Her eyes were watering, the room was slightly spinning, and she felt disgusting. But at least she could finally come back her senses again.
She took her phone out of her pocket, clumsily opening up the Snapchat app, clicking on Hyunjin’s name. She bit her lip, eyes trained on the blinking cursor in the front of her, before deciding to just scroll up. However, she wished that she didn’t, because one of the pictures he had sent her popped up, and she immediately clicked on it.
It was Hyunjin, shirtless, a white towel sitting low on his hips. The mirror was slightly foggy, his hair was wet and lying over his eyes, his body flexed to where every single muscle was popping out so perfectly, a teasing smirk on his face. He had sent her this only a few nights ago with a text that said, Waiting on you. He had fucked her so good that night—had her bent over his kitchen table while he fucked her so deep—hands so rough, voice so demanding. She found herself letting out a little whimper at the thought of it—at the thought of his hands and his voice and his dick and his everything—and she wasted no time in clicking on the video call option.
He answered almost immediately.
“Jagiya,” He mumbled out, voice sounding a little scratchy, like he had just woken up, “You okay?”
She didn’t reply. She couldn’t reply. His hair was softly falling over his eyes, his beautiful eyes… and she found herself mesmerized by him once again. He was so beautiful.
He asked the question once again, sitting up slightly in bed, the sound of his sheets rustling in the background. A soft glow was engulfing his room from his bedside lamp, the once sleepy expression now being replaced with a more worried one, and Y/N felt her lips start to quiver.
“I just threw up,” She whined out, feeling really embarrassed all of a sudden, “I just… I just threw up in the bathroom.”
He was quiet for a second, blinking a few times. “Oh,” He replied, a little confused, “Are you feeling better?”
“No,” She whined out again, aggressively wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, attempting to get the god-awful taste of puke and Minho’s lips off, “I f-feel like shit. I just miss you. I want to be with you. I hate it here.”
Hyunjin rubbed his eyes a little, a soft smile forming on his lips. His beautiful, plush lips. Y/N found herself starring at them for a couple seconds. “Do you want me to come get you?” He asked, and Y/N frowned immediately.
“You didn’t… you didn’t say you missed me,” She whined out, letting out a little huff, “Why didn’t you say it back? Is it because I threw up?”
Hyunjin’s smile grew, a look of amusement on his face, “I miss you, Jagiya. Always do when you not with me.”
Y/N shivered at the tone of his voice, the sincerity of his words, and she found herself moving her phone down slightly to get her chest and thighs in view. “You miss me like this?” She asked, free hand trailing down to softly grab at her breasts. She was wearing a black dress that was way too short and way too tight, but it showed off her curves so nicely she couldn’t not wear it. And with the way Hyunjin’s breath just hitched, she knew that was true.
“Yeah,” He breathed out, voice dropping, “Of course. Like that.”
She moved the camera down a little further, opening her legs and pushing the dress up towards her hips. The air she felt in between in her legs made her shiver since she decided to not wear panties tonight, and she used her hand to slowly spread her lips apart, feeling like she was dripping onto the floor already.
“Fuck,” He let out a rough groan, along with a few more curses in Korean, and she heard the sheets rustling a little more. The sound made her more horny than she already was, so she slid her fingers upwards to softly rub small circles on her clit.
“Miss me… like this, too?” She whimpered out, legs jerking slightly at the feeling, and she heard Hyunjin mumble something else in Korean before she leaned her head back against the wall behind her, closing her eyes as she imagined that he was right in front of her. “I need you. I need you with me. I need your cock. I need it so bad, Hyunjin.”
Her fingers sped up, hips rocking in a perfect rhythm, a string of whimpers escaping her mouth, perfectly muffled by the loud chaos that was outside. “Jagiya,” He groaned out, voice forming goosebumps on her skin, “You want my cock? You cum for me first.”
She let out a moan, phone grip loosening just slightly, and Hyunjin kept going, “So desperate. Sitting in public touching yourself… touching yourself to me? Touching yourself for me? How does it feel? Feel better than me?”
“No,” She choked out, movement not faltering, “F-feels good, but not as good as yours. Just wanna cum, please.”
He let out a short laugh, voice lower than before, “You won’t. You not doing it right. Not how you like it.”
And she hated that he was right—hated how he seemed to know her body better than she did. She cried out, body begging for her release, and she slipped two fingers in, immediately curling them upwards in attempts to get that sweet spot, just as he always did.
“Not quite,” He tsked out, “Go back to your clit. Stay there. You will never cum from that.”
Y/N could cry from frustration, slipping her fingers back out and back onto her clit, hips immediately jerking at the feeling. She was so wet that he could easily just slip right in, the sound flowing through the entire bathroom. She said his name again, pleading.
“You look so filthy, sitting here rubbing your pretty pussy to the thought of me, for me. It’s only for me, right?” He muttered out in Korean, and Y/N moaned his name out again, feeling a knot forming in her stomach.
“It better only be for me. Your pussy belongs to me, and nobody else. Nobody will ever make you feel this good—will never make you feel so desperate for them that you resort to getting yourself off in the middle of a fucking party. You are mine, you understand that?” The words kept coming out in his native tongue, voice deep, dominating.
“Now cum.” He spat out in English, and Y/N’s body jolted forward, his name falling from her lips, a wave of pleasure hitting her all at once. She let out a choked moan, felt the wetness gushing down her thighs, dropping the phone that was in her hand.
Y/N sat there for a moment, head pounding just slightly, chest rapidly moving up and down. A few more seconds passed and she realized that he was still on the phone, so she quickly picked it back up, heart racing once she laid eyes on him. He looked fucked out, lips parted, eyes dark, and she felt her skin crawl.
“Send me address. I’m coming to get you.” He roughly spoke out, the call ending before she had a chance to reply.
A sudden knock on the door startled her, and she was suddenly hyper-aware of her position and what just happened. “Y/N!” Felix’s voice yelled out from the other side of the door, “You’ve been in there for a hot minute. You good?”
She didn’t reply, scrambling to stand up and get off the floor, feeling a little dizzy from standing up too fast. She had just pulled her dress back down when the door opened and Felix barged in.
He glanced at the phone that was hanging awkwardly in her hand, then at her legs that were pressed way too tightly together, and then at her face that looked guilty as fuck. He cocked an eyebrow, “I don’t want to know what just happened. But are you good? Can I trust you to be alone now, or do you want me to take you home real quick?”
Her phone vibrating in her hand caused her to jump, and she glanced at it once before looking back at him. “N-no, I’m good. I have a… ride.” She replied quickly, other hand still supporting her body on the edge of the sink.
He lips quirked, “Right.”
He reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a breath strip and handing it to her. Y/N felt her face heating up. “Might need this,” He stated, and Y/N grabbed it from him before putting it on her tongue.
“Who carries around breath strips?”
Felix rolled his eyes at her question, “Me, obviously. They come in handy when you’re trying to get laid and don’t want to worry about swallowing someone else’s gum. Stop being judgmental. I could’ve just let your breath knock his ass out.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes, really wanting to smack him upside the head. He was so annoying. “Well, text me if you need me. Otherwise,” Felix stated, walking back towards the door to open it, “I will leave you to it. Whatever that is.”
“Asshole,” She grumbled out, glaring at the door that he just walked out of. She quickly glanced back at her phone to see that Hyunjin had texted her again.
Hyunjin🌹: Still waiting on address…
It was embarrassing how fast her fingers moved to send him the address. She placed her phone down on the sink, quickly washing her hands and rinsing her mouth out once the breath strip dissolved before attempting to clean her thighs up the best she could. She felt sticky, fingers trembling slightly, room still spinning a little. She threw the toilet paper back in the toilet before flushing it, stumbling back out of the bathroom.
The crowd seemed to have grown ten times bigger than it was previously. She immediately found herself knocking into people, mumbling out a few sorry’s and excuse me’s as she tried to get past. How the fuck did Felix maneuver through all these people so quickly? And has it always been this hot in here?
A glance towards her right suddenly caught her attention. It was Hyunjin, standing near the front door, looking a little lost. His eyes quickly danced across the room a couple times before he started to take his phone out of the pocket of his black sweatpants. Y/N found herself letting out the widest grin, immediately feeling giddy at the sight of him, because it was Hyunjin, and he was here—here to pick her up! How lucky is she?
Letting out a dramatic, lovesick sigh, she started to, (well, attempted to), skip towards him in all her glory. However, her steps came to a sudden halt once another girl beat her to him, standing exactly where she was about to be.
The grin faded as quick as it came. She watched as the girl approached him so timidly, so softly, tucking a piece of her long, black hair behind her ear. Hyunjin looked up in surprise, phone in his hands now forgotten as he leaned his head down towards her. Her lips were moving, a flirtatious expression gracing her features, and she leaned in a little more once he smiled back.
The sight made her feel sick.
Y/N thought that he would shew her away, would politely decline her advances. But when she had placed her hand on his chest, letting it drag down ever so slowly as she whispered something else in his ear, she found herself seeing red—feet moving in front of her so steadily she almost forgot she was even drunk.
Her clumsily stumbling into the girl quickly reminded her of that fact, though.
Really, she didn’t mean to. Her plan was to approach them both, politely tell the girl to fuck off, and then lead Hyunjin outside so he could take her to his car so they could fuck and then spend the night together eating Taco Bell. But someone had abruptly bumped into her as she was approaching them, causing her to roughly stumble into the girl who was currently feeling up all over her man.
The girl let out a shriek in surprise, the both of them hitting the ground as quick they made contact. Y/N heard some laughter behind her, but was way too dizzy to turn around and see who it was.
“Ow,” She rubbed her head softly, eyes squeezed tight together, headache pounding. She felt her body suddenly being shoved to the side, and heard someone yelling at her in Korean. She could only assume the screeching voice was her.
Y/N could tell that the girl was actively cussing her out. She finally opened her eyes, about to interrupt her ranting, when she caught a whiff of cologne—a scent that immediately made her feel warm.
It was Hyunjin, crouching down beside her, eyes wide and full of concern. His hand was holding onto her arm, face leaned in towards her. His mouth was moving but Y/N couldn’t figure out what he was saying, eyes too focused on the fact that he was here and in front of her.
She smiled, placing her hand on his arm, pulling him more into her. He stumbled into her slightly before catching himself, and Y/N slid her hand up towards the back of his neck, lips leaning in to start peppering kisses on the side of his face. She pulled back briefly, eyes locked on the slight pout of his lips for a second before she leaned back in to kiss him again.
“Y/N,” He leaned back, “Not now.”
Embarrassment flooded through her, eyes stinging with tears from his rejection. He looked away from her and back towards the other girl, Y/N’s hand falling onto her thighs. He was talking to her, leaned in close, the girl glaring at Y/N like she wanted to claw her eyes out, and Y/N started to feel sick again.
She blinked back her tears before attempting to stand up and just leave them alone since he was apparently so interested in her, cursing at herself once she stumbled over her feet once again. A pair of warm hands steadied her before she could fall, that same scent wrapping around her, suffocating her.
“Get off of me,” She lightly shoved his hands off of her once she caught her balance again, “I’m fine. Just go… go have fun with her.”
Y/N’s voice was trembling slightly, chest hurting, and she was starting to get overwhelmed. Hyunjin was so quick to show interest in another girl, and really, why wouldn’t he? Especially when it’s someone who can speak his native language, who can relate to him, who is so pretty and petite—someone who is everything she isn’t.
She had managed to walk away from Hyunjin and out of the front door, tears now falling down her face. Her vision was blurry and she didn’t really know where she was going or what she was trying to do—all she knew was that she was frustrated with herself and felt like her heart just ripped in half.
She doesn’t know how long she was just standing there when she felt his presence behind her, footsteps frantic. “Y/N,” He breathed out, like he had been running, “Why… what are you doing? What’s wrong?”
She sniffled, bringing her hand up to wipe at her eyes, not wanting him to see her crying and upset. When she didn’t reply, he took a step in front of her, and she quickly looked down, attempting to turn away, when he softly reached up to grab ahold of her face.
He tilted her head up so that he could look her in the eyes, eyes softening once he noticed the tears staining her cheeks. “What’s wrong, baby?” He whispered out, wiping the bottom of her eyes with the pad of his fingers.
“You don’t want me anymore,” She hiccuped, voice cracking slightly at the end, “You were… you were all over that other girl. She was pretty. She was so pretty. And a lot s-smaller than me.”
She hated how her insecurities were starting to consume her. Y/N had never felt insecure—always coming off so confident in herself and her body when it came to most things, especially when it when came to hook-ups. But something about seeing Hyunjin with someone who looked so elegant and confident made her skin crawl in the worst way. Y/N always knew Hyunjin was out of her league. This proves it.
“What?” He replied back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What you talking about? The girl inside?”
Y/N rolled her eyes, moving her face away from his hands. “Obviously. Unless there’s another girl you’ve been fucking behind my back and just haven’t told me.”
His hands pulled her face back, slight grip on the back of her neck holding her in place so she was forced to look at him. “Don’t talk to me like that,” He spoke out, voice more stern than it was prior. “There is no other girl. You know that. Only want you… even if you get attitude with me because you’re jealous.”
Y/N felt her face heating up, but kept going anyway, “You rejected me earlier. I tried to kiss you and you rejected me, to talk to her.”
Hyunjin quirked a grin, which made Y/N more upset than she was earlier. Is he not taking this seriously?
Before she could say another word, he pulled her face down, lips moving against her own. The kiss was soft, tender—a complete contrast of what she was used to with him. She could taste the slight mint in his breath, feel the warmth of him, and she found herself pulling him even closer, body immediately betraying her.
She whined when he pulled away. “I didn’t want to make a scene,” He mumbled out, finger softly playing with her bottom lip, eyes fixated on the slight pout, “Didn’t want to cause more attention. Was trying to look after you. I’m sorry.”
Y/N suddenly felt like crying again at how sincere he sounded, how soft he was. He was looking at her so tenderly, so lovingly, that she almost ended up blurting out her feelings. But suddenly, an overwhelming sense of guilt hit her all at once as she thought back to Minho a few hours prior, face paling.
“Come on,” He smiled at her, giving her another quick peck on the lips, “Come home with me.”
He placed his hand on her lower back, guiding her towards his Porsche that was parked on the side of the road. She followed, because she would follow him anywhere, mouth becoming dry.
“Hyunjin,” She whispered out, attempting to get his attention. He didn’t hear her, opening the passenger door for her before helping her get inside, leaning over to buckle her up. He smiled at her again, kissing the side of her cheek once before closing the door, jogging back to the other side. He sat down, turning the music down just a bit. Y/N felt stiff.
“You want my hoodie?” He asked, not waiting on her to answer him as he began to slip it over his head, handing it to her. She grabbed it from him, hands shaking slightly, before placing it on her lap.
“Cold?” He asked again, noticing that she was shaking a bit. When she didn’t reply, he turned on the heat anyway before putting the car in drive.
Y/N starred at his hoodie for a second. It felt wrong to put it on. “Hyunjin,” She tried again, bile rising in her throat. They had gotten to the stop sign at end of the neighborhood when he turned to look at her. He placed his hand on her exposed thigh, “What’s wrong? Do you feel sick again?”
He placed the car back in park before rolling her window down. She felt like she might pass out.
“If you need to get sick again, it’s okay. Try to lean out window. I can clean up if it gets on seats.” His soft voice echoed through the car, and Y/N wanted to cry. He was in the middle of pulling back her hair into a ponytail when she had finally spoke.
“I kissed someone tonight,” She blurted out, chest heaving, the bile in her throat getting stuck. She didn’t dare look at him, not yet. His fingers loosened. “Minho. From Felix’s frat. I kissed him. I was drunk and I was confused. It isn’t an excuse, but I regretted it immediately after. I still regret it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
It was quiet. Daniel Caesar was softly playing in the background, faint yelling was heard from down the road. It was quiet, and Y/N hated it.
Finally, he spoke. “Why?” He whispered out. It was a simple question, yet why did it feel so hard to answer?
Y/N felt him looking at her. She still couldn’t bring herself to look back. When she didn’t reply, he moved his hands away from her hair, and she hated how it cold it felt.
“I wanted to forget about you,” She finally breathed out, new tears forming in her eyes, threatening to escape, “You are all I think about. You have been the only thing on my mind since I chased after you up those stairs. I hate that I can’t just stop thinking about you. It scares me.”
She finally worked up the courage to look up at him. His gaze was unreadable, fingers twitching at his side. He looked so beautiful like this.
“I know we aren’t together… not like that, at least,” She continued, thankful that she was still a little drunk otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to say any of this, letting out a little sniffle, “But I… I want to be. I have for so long now. I’m just… I’m scared, and I don’t know what will happen, or if we will even work out, but I’m willing to try. You are… you are worth everything. You are everything, Hyunjin.”
The grip on his hoodie tightened, the tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. She felt like a giant weight has finally been lifted off her shoulders. She just didn’t want it to happen this way—not in a way that was hurting them both.
She cried harder once he never replied, cuddling his hoodie to her chest to get his scent one last time before placing it on his lap. Her hands were still shaking. “I’m sorry,” She choked out, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, “I will… I’ll go. Goodbye, Hyunjin.”
Her hands reached for the door when he tugged her back. “No,” He let out, “Stop.”
His hands were warm, comforting. “Look at me.” He whispered.
She cleared her throat before turning around. The grip on her arm tightened ever so slightly, his eyes twinkling. “I want that, too. Want to try… with you.” He spoke softly, carefully. “And yes, I’m upset about kiss, but there is nothing I can do. Like you said, we were not together. So it’s okay. I still want you just as much.”
Y/N smiled through her tears, fingers coming up to wipe at the mascara that she knew was running down her cheeks before leaning over to kiss him. He reciprocated immediately, mouth moving against hers, both of them savoring the taste—savoring the feeling.
She pulled back, lips hovering over his own. “Wanna fuck you,” Y/N mumbled, kissing the corner of his mouth, “Wanna show you just how much I want you.”
Hyunjin let out a breath, cock twitching in his sweatpants. “N-not now,” He stuttered out, although it physically pained him to say it, “You are drunk, yeah? Feels wrong.”
She kissed down his neck, getting to that spot behind his ear that she knew he loved, hand trailing down to the obvious bulge forming in his sweats. He let out a strangled moan, hips jerking slightly, his hands resting on her own, attempting to stop her.
“Only a little bit,” Y/N replied, choosing to intertwine their fingers instead, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, “I know what I’m doing. Just really want you. It’s okay if you want to wait, but you have my permission. You always have it.”
It looked like Hyunjin was fighting an internal battle—eyes narrowed in on the way she brought his hand up to her mouth, softly kissing the back of his hand. She did that a few times before putting one of his fingers into her mouth, mouth going up and down, tongue swirling, eye contact never faltering. She popped his finger out of his mouth, guiding his hand to wrap around her throat. His hand tightened around her neck softly and she let out a moan before un-zipping the back of her dress, exposing her upper-half to him. His breath hitched, eyes immediately drawn to her breasts that were sitting so perfectly in front of him, nipples hard and perky, begging for him to suck on them.
She smirked, biting her lip as she glanced at him. His hand tightened ever so slightly when she moved her hands up towards her breasts, fingers lightly tracing around her hardened nipples. She moaned his name out once, thighs rubbing together, and Hyunjin felt hot.
“Fuck me,” He groaned out, accent more prominent the more worked up he was getting, “You want to fuck me? Take me then, baby.”
Y/N didn’t need to be told twice. She clumsily pulled the rest of her dress down her legs before throwing it in the backseat. She couldn’t help but think that she probably looked ridiculous and her fat rolls were most definitely on display as she wiggled out of the dress in such a tight space, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Not when Hyunjin was looking at her like he wanted to devour her.
“Lean back,” She mumbled out, leaning over slightly. He listened, moving his seat back as far as it would go before reclining the seat. He un-buckled his seat belt, hips raising slightly as he adjusted himself through his sweats. Y/N glanced down, watching him squirm for a second before deciding she’s had enough.
“Well?” She spoke out, tone condescending, “You gonna just lay there all night or take your pants off so I can fuck you?”
Hyunjin scrambled to get his pants off, only getting them down to his ankles when Y/N had crawled over towards him, harshly plopping herself down on his lap, dick grazing her pussy lips. He moaned immediately at the contact, at how wet she already was, and his hands grabbed ahold of her hips, attempting to guide her to grind down on him.
She swat his hands away. “Don’t,” She breathed out, grinding down on him anyway, “Hands off. Only thing you can touch is my clit while I’m riding you. Got it?”
“Cute,” He smirked in reply, an amused expression on his face. He started to let out a laugh, thinking that she just looked so adorable trying to dominate him, but a sudden grip on his throat stopped him. He let out a choked moan at the feeling, hips jerking upwards, dick sliding in-between her folds so perfectly that he could just easily slide right in.
His mouth was slightly open, hooded eyes glancing up at her, and he grinned at her before softly biting his bottom lip. “Harder.” He choked out, moan getting caught in his throat once she did just that, his dick painfully twitching beneath her.
She rubbed against him more forcefully, the tip of his dick teasing her entrance, and she leaned down, kissing the corner of his mouth before trailing her lips over towards his ear. “Beg,” She whispered, breath making him shiver. When he didn’t say anything, she squeezed him a little harder, a soft gasp escaping his mouth. She loosened her grip a little, giving him another opportunity. “Beg, Hyunjin. Beg for me to fuck you, and I promise to let you cum inside me.”
“F-fuck,” He gasped out after spitting out a few curses in Korean. She harshly moved his head to the side, leaning down to kiss and suck on the other side of his neck. Her free hand trailed down to grab ahold of his dick, hard and leaking and angry, and she rubbed his tip against her lips, softly biting at the skin on his neck at the feeling.
“P-please, baby. Please fuck me. Need it so bad… need you so bad.” He choked out, mixing up his English with Korean, voice desperate and strained. He kept going, kept begging in his native tongue, and Y/N didn’t waste anymore time in taking his cock.
The stretch was insane—it always was. No matter how many times they’ve fucked, he still feels so big inside her, and she feels so full everytime. They both let out a long moan, and Y/N raised her body up, only to come back down on him with just as much force as before.
“You’re so hot,” Y/N gasped out, loosening her grip more on his neck, the sound of their skin slapping against each other filling up the car, “So sexy. S-so perfect. Keep talking. Please.”
Hyunjin eyes were locked on the way her pussy was swallowing him whole, watched how her juices were coating him, mouth still slightly open. The soft glow from the street lamps outside were just enough to where he could see her, and he thought she looked beautiful like this.
He felt her clench around him when he started talking again. He told her how beautiful she looked taking his cock, how tight she felt, how perfect she sounded. He then placed one of his hands over hers on his neck, the other coming up towards her mouth. She opened, sucking on his fingers like she was starved, and he trailed them back down to start rubbing slow circles on her clit.
When she moaned his name again, he kept talking. This time, he told her that nobody would ever fuck her this good, that nobody would ever get to feel how sinful her pussy feels, that nobody would ever get to see her like this—confident, sexy, and utterly beautiful. He told her that only she was allowed to ride his cock, to use him however she pleases, and he’ll be damned if she ever forgets that.
“Fuck, Hyunjin,” She whimpered out, hips speeding up, ass slapping against his balls so deliciously. She glanced down at him, saw the fucked-out look on his face, the slight drool on the corner of his lips, and she gripped his neck tighter.
“You’re mine, understand?” She moaned out, hips never faltering their movements despite the burning she felt in her thighs. The car was rocking, windows fogging up. “Nobody else can have you like this. Nobody can ride your dick better than I can. Nobody else can ever see you like this… see you so fucked out and drunk off my pussy. You are mine. You understand that, baby?”
“Y-yes,” He stuttered out, pleased as fuck that she’s just as worse as he is, “Yours. I’m yours. Fuck.”
His hair was falling across his eyes, a string of curses escaping his lips. Y/N felt her legs starting to shake, hips jerking from the constant stimulation of his dick hitting exactly where she likes it and his fingers that were sloppily rubbing against her clit, breasts bouncing with each rough movement. She leaned her body forward, hand moving down from his neck to his chest to support herself as she adjusted her rhythm to slowly grind on his cock. She leaned her face down, slowly tracing his right nipple with her tongue, the other hand harshly pinching at the left.
“F-fuck. About… to cum,” Hyunjin whined out, voice raspy, eyes rolling to the back of his head, “B-baby, can I cum? Please?”
“No,” She smirked before biting at his nipple. He let out a choked moan, tears forming in his eyes, hands twitching at his sides. She was still grinding on him, felt so warm and wet and tight around him, and he tightly placed his hands on her hips before planting his feet on the floorboard, hips roughly thrusting upwards.
Y/N moaned out, the force making her body jolt backwards, back leaning against the steering wheel. His thrusts were fast, frantic, desperate. His cock was hitting her just right, so thick and long and perfect, and she found herself moaning out his name as a plea, the familiar pit forming in her stomach.
“Gonna cum,” He loudly whined out, voice high, desperate, “You gonna take it. J-just take it… l-like that… yeah… just… fuck,” His voice trailed off, words falling off his tongue, and his hips stuttered once, twice, before he spilled inside her.
Y/N let out a shriek at the feeling, vision going blurry as she tilted her head back, milking his cock dry.
She collapsed forward, head falling in the crook of his neck. His arms immediately wrapped around her, bringing her even closer. They laid like that for a minute, his dick softening inside her ever so slightly, and Y/N began peppering soft kisses on the side of neck. Hyunjin winced at the feeling.
“Sorry if I hurt you,” Y/N whispered out before kissing down the other side of his neck.
“You didn’t,” He replied, voice still a little rough, “Just… sensitive.”
She kissed up towards the side of his face before pausing to look at him. His lips were swollen, dried tears lying on his cheeks, hair slightly sticking to his forehead. He was a mess. A beautiful mess.
Hyunjin felt her starring at him, eyes slowly opening as he turned his head towards her. He met her eyes, and something gentle settled there—a love showed not in words, but in the stillness of how she looked at him. And in that moment, Hyunjin finally understood that home was not a place he would return to, but a place that recognized him, embraced him, loved him.
And in the space where the semester ended, between what was finished and what had not quite begun, something remained. It wasn’t loud enough to make a promise, it wasn’t fragile enough to completely disappear, but it was something that felt like home, even as everything else let go.
— summary: Hwang Hyunjin was many things—rich, talented, and undeniably handsome. But what he was the most was being the very bane of Y/N’s existence. What started as an unexpected, yet wholesome friendship turned sour their senior year at university, and Y/N was eternally grateful when they were finally able to part ways and continue on with their lives after graduation. However, when one Valentine’s Day themed maze and one mischievous Jisung pulls them together once again, they’re forced to rekindle their past and pick up right where they left off.
OR, Y/N swears she hates Hyunjin, and Hyunjin thinks she’s full of shit.
— pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
— genre: nepobaby!hyunjin, enemies-to-lovers au
— warnings/other: bestfriend!jisung, cursing, angst, mentions of drunk & non-consensual sex, mutual pinning (in a weird, misunderstood way), humor, some fluff, references to past situations (in italics), lots of bickering between y/n & hyunjin, sexual tension, hyunjin is a flirt, smut consisting of : making-out, dry humping, switch!hyunjin, y/n is on top, oral (m. receiving), spanking, lots of dirty talk, unprotected sex
— wc: 10k+
— a/n: so i was watching heart eyes on netflix and it inspired me to write this (even though it’s kind of really, very unrelated), so ta-da! grab you a giant box of chocolates, a glass of red wine, & enjoy!
“This might just be the dumbest thing ever created.”
Jisung glanced over at Y/N’s words, rolling his eyes slightly, “It’s not dumb. You love Halloween, and you hate Valentine’s Day. This is a perfect opportunity to change your perspective!”
Y/N glanced around, seeing the many people crowded around, a giant line looping around from the back of the building. In front of the building, there was a sign, and she let out a laugh when reading it.
THE DARK VALENTINE EXPERIENCE! ENTER IF U DARE ♡
It was lit up in neon red, pink and black hearts blinking around the words. Soft love songs were playing in the background, slowed-down, almost giving an eerie vibe, which is probably what they were going for.
She looked back at Jisung. He was standing there with a massive grin on his face. “So what? Me and you are going to go through this… maze or whatever this is? Isn’t this for couples?”
“No, it’s not just for couples,” He retorted, adjusting the beanie on his head, “It’s for all people. Situationships, lovers, friends, enemies. You could even bring Winston. Even though he would definitely claw everyone’s eyes out and probably shit on the props.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes at his words, “Wait, did you just say enemies?”
The wide grin on his face slowly turned into a mischievous one. He looked like the grinch. “Jisung,” She said his name with a warning tone, taking a step towards him, “Why did you say enemies? And why are you suddenly being so weird? Stop it.”
Before anything else could be said, Y/N felt her body freeze, heart falling into her ass once she heard a voice shouting behind her. A voice that was engraved in her brain, despite the numerous attempts to block it out. A voice that she once adored, but now couldn’t stand.
“Ji!” Hyunjin’s voice yelled out loudly, causing some by-standers to turn their heads. She heard him before she saw him, which was always a normal occurrence, the foot steps getting louder as he got closer.
“Oh,” The footsteps stopped behind her. Y/N could smell the expensive cologne radiating off of him. “Sorry, Y/N. Didn’t really see you there. I almost ran into you.”
She glared at Jisung, who was giving her a sheepish grin. He didn’t look guilty at all. She mouthed a slow fuck you to him, Jisung blowing a kiss in response with an annoying ass giggle, and Y/N took in a deep breath before turning around.
There, right in front of her, was the Hwang Hyunjin—the very bane of her existence.
He looked exactly like she remembered. Same sense of style, same sense of confidence, same stupid smirk that was always plastered on his lips. The only thing noticeably different was his hair, as it was now longer, dyed jet black, a contrast from the blonde she was used to. It made his eyes look darker, and it fit him extremely well. Y/N hated the way her heart thumped in her chest at the sight of him.
He was dressed in a dark red leather jacket, a black high-neck, black dress pants secured with a Versace belt, black Chelsea boots, and a Cartier silver necklace draped around his neck. His entire outfit was definitely worth more than her month’s worth of rent. He never failed to show off.
“Cat got your tongue?” Hyunjin asked, a satisfied smirk on his plush lips. It was then that Y/N noticed his lips were a darker red, and she wondered for a second if he had on lip tint, “Or are you too busy checking me out to say hello?”
Her eyes shot up at his words, cheeks heating up at the fact that he caught her lowkey checking him out. Although he was an asshole, he was pretty. It was really unfortunate. “In your dreams, Hwang,” She spat out before turning to Jisung, “Why is he here?”
Jisung let out another giggle, nose slightly red from the cold air. He let out a sniffle, “Obviously because I invited him. And Changbin, Seungmin, and Minho—“
“You invited them too?” She interrupted his sentence, feeling like her head was going to explode. They were almost as worse as he was. Almost. “Great. Just great. So let me get this straight… you invited Hwang Hyunjin, the literal stick up my ass, and his little minions? Knowing I was going to be here?!”
“I’m right here, you know?” Hyunjin chimed in. Y/N ignored him.
“Well, yes,” Jisung replied, looking a little guilty. But only just a little. “They’re my friends, you know? Used to be yours, too.”
Y/N noticed how his voice got quieter at the end of his sentence. She shook her head lightly. “Hwang Hyunjin was never my friend. Don’t ever say that to me.”
“Again, I’m right here,” Hyunjin spoke up a little louder, like he needed to in the first place. He was always so loud for no reason.
“Yes, Sherlock, I know! I’d rather speak about you in third-person than even speak to you at all!” Y/N shot back, head turning towards her side, and then back to Jisung. She hated everything about this.
A loud group of voices were suddenly heard from the distance, catching everyone’s attention. Y/N let out a dramatic groan, already knowing who those voices belonged to, before angrily zipping her puffy jacket to her chin and flopping the hood back on her head. She did not want to deal with this.
“I’m leaving,” She stated firmly, not giving Jisung or Hyunjin a chance to try to stop her as she turned around to speed-walk away. She had gotten exactly five steps away when a cold hand gripped onto her wrist, putting her movement to a stop.
“Y/N, stop being so dramatic,” Hyunjin’s voice rang in her ears, “Can’t we just be civil? It’s been what, four years? Didn’t think you’d still be hung up on me.”
Y/N could just feel the anger flowing through her veins. “Shut up, Hwang,” She jerked her hand away, fighting the urge to shove his perfect self down on the ground. When she faced him again, he was looking at her with that same cocky expression. She wanted to smack the grin off his face. “Maybe you should get your head out of your ass. I’ve never even been into your egotistical self.”
The grin widened, if that was even possible. “Yeah? Then why are you trying to run away? Got something to prove?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. He kept talking. “If you’re not still hung up on me, then my presence shouldn’t matter much, right? You can easily ignore me, just like you’ve been doing for the past four years. If you walk away, you’ll just be admitting it, though,” He crossed his arms over his chest, hip cocked slightly to the side, “Either way, it won’t hurt my feelings.”
God, he was such an asshole.
It was like he just knew how his words affected her. However, Y/N was a stubborn woman, and even though she convinced herself those words weren’t true, she still found herself stomping back over towards a slightly awkward Jisung, purposely ignoring Hyunjin’s smug face.
“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Before she could tell him to fuck off, the obnoxious voices got even more obnoxious as they approached them. Y/N tucked her chin more into her jacket in attempts to hide herself more. It didn’t work.
“Aw, it’s little Y/N!” Minho’s voice cooed, like he was talking to a child, “Don’t you look so cute. You hiding from us or what?”
She scoffed, turning her body around so she didn’t have to look at them. This was quite literally her worst nightmare.
She heard laughing behind her, eyes glaring back over at Jisung. He gave her an apologetic grin before leaving her side to walk over towards them. She heard them conversing behind her, could hear the handshakes they were doing with each other, and she tapped her foot on the ground impatiently, annoyed as fuck.
Y/N never thought she would see Hyunjin again. She thought that she had finally gotten rid of him—had willed herself to unfollow him on all social media, and even going as far as to block his number. She had finally gotten to a point where she was okay with how things turned out between them, and now he just shows up out of nowhere, being just as insufferable as he was before.
She tried to ignore the way her heart was still pounding in her chest. It had started once she laid eyes on him again, and it hasn’t stopped. Hyunjin had always been handsome, and she hated how he somehow looked even better than he did before.
A pat on her shoulder snapped her out of her thoughts. It was Jisung, flicking his head over towards the entrance, where everyone else was already waiting. The line had gone down drastically.
“Come on,” He mumbled, and she followed, despite the feeling of impending doom that was flowing all around her.
She watched as Seungmin and Changbin paid the lady, her placing a pink bracelet on each of their arms. They waved behind them, flicking off Minho and Hyunjin before disappearing into the building. Y/N rolled her eyes at their behavior.
She stepped beside Jisung, and Minho stopped her. “Hold up,” He let out, cocky grin on his face. Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s not your turn yet. You’re going with Hyunjin.”
Y/N blinked. She must have heard him wrong. “Excuse me, what?”
Minho rolled his eyes, sticking his arm out so the lady could put the wristband on him. Theirs was red. “It’s two at a time. You’re going with Hyunjin.”
“Um, no, I’m going with Jisung. You can go with Hwang.”
“Whoops, we already paid,” Minho replied, shrugging his shoulders carelessly, an unapologetic look on his face, “Sorry, honey. Maybe next time.”
Y/N whipped her head over at Jisung. He didn’t look sorry at all. “I mean, we did ask if you would be okay with going with Hyunjin. You didn’t say anything, so we took that as a yes.”
Y/N could kill Jisung right now.
“Love you, bye!” He called over his shoulder as Minho dragged him through the doors. She watched as it closed with a loud click, eye twitching ever so slightly.
Did she just get set up? By her own best friend?
Y/N lied. This is her worst nightmare.
The sound of Hyunjin paying caught her attention, and she stepped forward quickly, digging her credit card out of her jacket pocket. “I can pay for myself.” She spoke, and Hyunjin waved her off, signing his name on the touch screen and tipping $20.
“Hold your arm out so they can put the wristband on.” Hyunjin stated, slipping his card back into his wallet and shoving it in the inside of his jacket.
“No, I said I could pay for myself.” She replied, a little on edge and very annoyed. Hyunjin sighed.
“Well, I already paid for it, so just hold your arm out so she can put the wristband on you so we can get this shit over with.”
Y/N was fuming, “I’m not a charity case.”
Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “Obviously, I know that. Stop being a brat. You’re holding up the fucking line.”
The lady glanced between them awkwardly, wristband laying loosely in her hands. Someone behind them cleared their throat, and another person yelled at them to hurry up. Y/N kept glaring at Hyunjin.
“Sir, your girlfriend needs this wristband before you can enter,” The lady’s voice softly spoke up.
Hyunjin mumbled out an apology to her before gripping Y/N’s arm, taking the wristband from the lady to secure it on her wrist. Y/N jerked her arm back once his gripped loosened, shooting daggers into the side of his head.
“Don’t grab me like that!” She screeched out in disbelief, “Are you insane?!”
“If you would’ve just stopped being a brat and did what I asked, I wouldn’t have had to!”
The lady gulped, slowly opening the door.
Hyunjin grabbed Y/N’s arm, yanking her behind him so that they could finally enter this hellhole. Y/N stumbled a little, the door closing behind them. It was dark, and all she could hear was the sound of Hyunjin’s breathing.
She ripped her arm away from his, again. “What is wrong with you?! You have no right to grab me like that and drag me around like some ragdoll!”
Hyunjin scoffed, “It’s simple, you act like a brat, you get treated like one. Thought you would’ve grown up by now.”
Y/N wished she could see him so she could slap his perfect little face. “You are so—“
“Insufferable? Egotistical? Maybe even a pretentious asshole? Yeah, I know. You’re very predictable, Y/N.”
Y/N didn’t reply. She could feel his breath lightly fanning the side of her face, and she shivered.
The lights suddenly turned on, an upbeat love song playing in the distance, making them both jump in surprise. The room was lit in a pink hue, lines of heart-shaped streamers hanging from the ceiling, a giant neon sign plastered in front of them.
LUV N CONFETTI ♡ AVOID SCATTERING THEM!
“This is so stupid,” Y/N huffed out.
Hyunjin ignored her, taking a few steps towards the streamers dangling in front of them. He glanced at them a couple times before looking back at her. “Well?” He let out, a hint of annoyance on his tongue, “You coming or what? The more you frown like that the more your face is likely to get stuck that way.”
“No, this is stupid,” She exaggerated, tucking her chin more into her jacket, “I didn’t want to come here in the first place, and I especially didn’t want to get stuck doing this shit with you.”
Hyunjin let out a frustrated groan, fully turning around to face her, “Okay, I get it. You hate me, you don’t want to do this dumb shit with me… I get it! But in my opinion, you’re acting like a fucking brat. How about you just grow a pair, suck it up, and be civil towards me for once in your goddamn life? It’s just a fucking game.”
Y/N blinked. And then she blinked again. She felt her throat go dry at his words, at the pissed off expression on his face, and Y/N has never recalled a moment where he looked this frustrated with her. Was she being a brat? Sure. Was she being a little overdramatic about this whole situation? Also sure. Despite everything in her wanting to just turn around and leave, she found herself letting out an annoyed sigh before hastily taking a few steps forward to stand beside him. She felt his eyes on her, and she held her head high, facing forward to watch the streamers softly moving in front of them.
“So, what? We have to just walk through the streamers and get to the other side?” She lightly asked, cocking her head to the side as she studied them for a second. She shrugged her shoulders, “Seems easy enough.”
She took a bold step forward before Hyunjin could reply, a loud shriek escaping her mouth once a giant pile of confetti shot out from the walls and onto her face. She stumbled back in surprise, only for another bomb to slap her once again, knocking her hood off of her head.
“What the fuck?!” She screeched out, seemingly stuck in a never-ending blow of heart-shaped-confetti-to-the -face. Where was it even coming from?
“Stop moving! That’s why you keep getting hit! The sign literally says to avoid scattering them!”
Scratch everything off the list—this is her worst nightmare.
“It won’t stop!” She yelled out, choking a little once confetti got in her mouth from another loud blow. She spit it out in disgust, letting out another shriek once it kept pouring out, “Don’t just stand there! Get your ass over here and help me!”
Hyunjin smirked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Nah, I have a pretty good view right here. You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”
Y/N groaned, feet stumbling ever so slightly, “Hwang… I’m not fucking around. Help me!”
“Hm,” He mumbled in reply, tapping the side of his face with his fingers, acting like he was in deep thought, “I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe if you ask me so sweetly, I might just consider it.”
Another scream rippled through her as another poof shot into her face. This time it was kissy faces. “Jinnie, please!” She desperately pleaded after sputtering out another handful of kissy faces, “Please come help me! I’m actually dying over here!”
“God, you’re so dramatic.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes before dropping down to the floor, “Get on your hands and knees.”
“What?” She breathed out, looking at him like he’d suddenly grown two heads, cause what the fuck did he say?
“I said, get the fuck down.”
Y/N hesitantly got down, mirroring his stance. The heart-shaped-confetti-to-the-face suddenly stopped once the streamers settled down, and Y/N let out a sigh of relief.
“You have to avoid scattering them,” His voice echoed through the room. Y/N glanced up. “If you stay low, there’s a better chance you won’t move them as much. I tried to tell you earlier, but you were too busy screaming bloody murder to listen to me.”
“Well, excuse me. I didn’t realize you were an expert at this,” She retorted, a sound of surprise suddenly escaping her mouth as she watched as Hyunjin began crawling over towards her. Her eyes widened, “What are you… why are you crawling?!”
He didn’t answer her, eyes focused in front of him, the streamers barely moving from his body. Y/N found herself mesmerized by the way he was moving—it was almost like he was creeping up on her, like a predator to its prey. His eyes were sharp, his hair was lightly falling across his eyes, and Y/N found herself gulping loudly once he approached her.
He looked over at her, his gaze so sensual that Y/N might have fallen to her knees if she wasn’t there already, “You want out? Then crawl.”
His voice sent a shiver down her spine. He lightly brushed past her, and Y/N hated how tense she felt.
“Fuck, okay,” She whispered out to herself, willing herself to stop being a simp when she’s supposed to hate this man. However, she felt her face fall once she turned around to follow him, his ass perfectly in her view. She could see how lanky his body was, how formed his back was… and she quite literally wanted to scream. Was she really checking out Hwang Hyunjin’s ass right now? This is an all time low for her.
She took in a breath before willing herself to start crawling to the other side of the room, being extra careful not to move the streamers too much so she wouldn’t get blown in the face again. Hyunjin had already made it to the other side, waiting by the door with his arms crossed, a cocky smirk on his lips.
“Took you long enough.” He stated once she finally made it without causing any confetti blasting in her face, “You’ve got some kissy faces stuck in your hair.”
“Shut up.” She stood up, pulling some pieces out of her hair and throwing them to the ground before glaring at him.
“You’re not going to tell me thank you?”
She flicked a kissy face on his shoulder, “No.”
“Always so grouchy.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, hand barely touching the knob of the next door when his voice made her freeze.
“You called me Jinnie.”
Y/N stood there for a second. She felt the heat of his body radiating off of him. “Yeah?” She spoke, acting like she wasn’t affected by the soft tone of his voice, “It just slipped out. I was panicking. It’s not a big deal.”
She felt him starring at her. The side of her face was getting warm. She gulped, trying to block him out, turning the knob on the door so they could get in the next room.
Her jaw almost hit the floor once they stepped inside, the door closing shut behind them.
“Absolutely not.”
In front of them, there were large, slow-moving pendulums shaped like hearts, and a pastel pink cushioned walk-way in the middle. The walk-way was skinny, and there were giant heart shaped foams piled up on the sides. Y/N looked up, reading the sign.
SWING INTO LUV ♡ STEP TOGETHER IN RHYTHM TO AVOID THE SWINGING HEARTS!
“This seems kinky.”
Y/N glanced over at Hyunjin’s words, seeing that he was already heading over towards the walk-way. An instrumental, upbeat version of a John Legend song was playing in the background, and Y/N wondered for a second how Jisung even found this strange place.
Hyunjin stepped forward on the walk-way, and Y/N panicked a little. “Wait!” She shouted out, taking a hesitant step forward. Hyunjin turned around to look at her, slightly confused. “Don’t we, um—have to walk together?”
The music blared in her ears for a second before she saw a hint of a smile gracing his lips, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Now if you wanted to hold my hand, Y/N, all you had to do was ask.”
Y/N felt her face turn red. “That’s not…” She trailed off, trying to defend herself, but ending up letting out a long sigh instead. She took another step forward, holding out her hand in front of her like she was a child that needed help crossing the street.
Hyunjin glanced at her outstretched hand, and then back towards Y/N, who was looking up at the many neon hearts that were lit all around the walls and the ceiling. He snorted out a laugh before grabbing ahold of her hand, tugging her a little closer towards him. She let out a quiet sound of surprise at the action, other hand coming up to rest on his back. She hated how her heart beat sped up.
“Okay, just follow my lead, alright?” He spoke, voice a little lower than before, and Y/N felt goosebumps forming on her skin. She nodded her head in reply, but then realized he couldn’t see her, mumbling out a short, “okay,” instead.
He took a step forward on the walk-way, and she followed closely behind him, almost losing her balance. She gripped onto his hand tighter, her other hand curling around his jacket, and let out another small shriek when she just couldn’t stop moving. Why was it so difficult for her to balance herself?
“Would you stop?” Hyunjin let out, hand tightening over hers in attempts to help her not fall.
“This is… this position is awkward!” She defended herself, glancing down at how her hand was wrapped around his behind his back, “You’re barely holding onto me!”
Hyunjin straightened himself out a little more. The first pendulum was inches away from his face. “It’s not my fault your legs are so weak! What do you want me to do about it?”
Y/N huffed in annoyance before letting go of his hand completely, arms immediately circling around his waist instead. She dug her head into his back, using his body to adjust herself on this skinny-ass walk-way. She could smell him more from here, could feel how hard his stomach was—and she gulped, willing herself to get it the fuck together.
She heard him laughing. She knew it was at her. “Shut up, Hwang,” She snapped out, head moving slightly the more he laughed, “You gonna start walking or what? Thought I was following your lead.”
“Yeah, yeah. Was just waiting on you, per usual,” He replied teasingly, adjusting his feet slightly, “Didn’t realize you wanted to touch me this bad, Y/N. Don’t worry, once we’re done, you can touch me however you want.”
Y/N’s head shot up at his response, face turning even redder than it was before. Before she could attempt to reply, he was already taking a bold step forward, Y/N following with a loud scream, the giant pendulum missing her body by an inch.
“You could have warned me!” She shrieked out. Hyunjin rolled his eyes, hand coming down to rest against her own across his stomach.
“No time for that. We go on my lead, remember?”
Another bold step forward had her shrieking into his back. How many of these god-awful swinging things were there? And why were they so scary?
“Could you be even more loud? You’re busting my eardrums.”
“Says you!” Y/N replied, pushing her body even closer, “You’re the loudest person I’ve ever met! Can’t ever keep that damn mouth shut!”
“Maybe you should sit on my face and shut me up, then.”
Hyunjin leaped forward and Y/N was forced to follow. This time, she didn’t make a sound, not even a single word, because what the fuck did he just say?
The next few steps seemed to pass by in a blur, and before Y/N realized it, they were already at the opposite side in front of the next door. Y/N felt like her entire body was on fire—eyes glazed over, mind full of Hyunjin’s plush lips that always looked so soft and moist, because, seriously—what the fuck did he just say? And why was she lowkey considering it?
“You gonna let go of me or keep clinging to me like this the rest of the time?”
Y/N suddenly shoved him away, and he stumbled a little, planting his hands on the door to steady himself. “Feisty.” He mumbled out after dramatically brushing off his jacket, turning back around to face her.
Y/N felt like her head was spinning. Why was Hyunjin flirting with her? And why did she seem to like it?
Y/N was supposed to hate him. He was an asshole who only cared about money, pussy, and his ego. But whenever he looked at her like he is right now—his eyes big, a teasing, yet soft grin on his face—she was reminded of the moments they spent together their early years at university.
Y/N had always held this striking imagine of who Hwang Hyunjin was—a rich, spoiled, and privileged asshole who had everything handed to him on a silver platter with a simple snap of his fingers. Of course, having someone attending a prestigious university whose last name was very much known across the country was going to make him the highlight of the entire campus. Everyone either wanted to be him, be seen with him, or fuck him. It was all for clout, and Y/N hated how people would use him for that, even if he was insufferable.
At first, she had made it her mission to avoid him and his friends at all costs, knowing that to him, she was definitely the piece of dried up gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe. Although they attended the same university, they were completely different people. To put it in simple terms, in a university with only a 2% acceptance rate, Y/N worked for her placement, while it was just handed over to Hyunjin, simply because of his last name.
That was one of the many reasons Y/N avoided him so much. In a way, she was scared of how he would treat her knowing she was on a full-ride scholarship in a university full of rich snobs. But that was proven difficult to do once they became assigned lab partners in Biology their freshman year.
Y/N still laughs at the way they had met. It was a splitting image of a fanfiction, really. Y/N expected him to sit back and allow Y/N to do everything, threatening her to still type his name on the assignment even if he never contributed. But that’s not how it went.
Hyunjin was, surprisingly, engaged—giving his own input, putting in his own work, earning his name typed on that big, fat, juicy lab report about fruit flies. And through the many evenings of them working together, Y/N had seen a side of him that she never thought she would. And for once in her life, she was wrong about a person’s character, especially when he made effort to keep hanging out with her even after the lab report was long finished.
It was getting harder to hide that she was just a scholarship kid the longer she kept hanging out with him. But, unbeknownst to her, he had known all along.
“So all this time… you just knew?” Y/N asked, surprise evident on her face, because she really thought she was hiding it well.
“Yup.” He replied with absolutely no enthusiasm, turning with his entire body as he maneuvered Koopa Troopa down rainbow road. Y/N was no longer paying attention, Yoshi running right off the track and fading into space with a yelp. Even when he was brought back onto the track, Y/N didn’t move. She felt frozen, and her mouth became dry.
“Are you…” She trailed off, voice getting drowned out by his loud shout as he took down Bowser with his banana peel. “Do you… care?”
He turned around to face her. The pleased grin that was once on his face had turned into something unreadable. Y/N gulped, nervously glancing down to fidget with the steering wheel in her hands, game long forgotten. She could feel her chest tightening when he didn’t answer right away, and she wondered for a second if she should just get up and leave, scared to see his reaction.
“Of course I don’t,” He finally replied after what felt like forever. His voice was soft, and Y/N found herself glancing back towards him. “Did you think I would?”
“I… yeah. Kind of,” She replied honestly, watching how his face fell slightly at her words, “I just… everyone else does. And you’re… you. I just didn’t want you to treat me differently. I really value our friendship, you know? You… mean a lot to me.”
Y/N knew that she was starting to rant, a habit she tends to do whenever she gets nervous, and she felt her throat tighten at the look in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” She breathed out, placing the steering wheel down on the space beside them, “I can just go.”
She had gotten up to leave, when his voice stopped her.
“It kind of hurts my feelings that you would even think I would treat you differently,” He spoke, hurt evident in his tone. “I would never… I would never do that to anyone, Y/N. Especially you.”
Y/N turned around, then. She noticed the sincerity in his eyes, the genuineness in his words, and she wondered for a second why she even thought that about him.
“You mean a lot to me, too,” He continued, a soft grin on his lips, “I don’t care how much money you have, or how much power you hold. All I care about is you, and your shitty game at Mario Kart. You owe me sushi, by the way. You lost.”
“I only lost because you dropped that giant bomb on me and had me freaking the fuck out!”
“Yeah, yeah,” He rolled his eyes in reply, leaning back into the couch, starting up a new game, “If I lose this round, I’ll buy dessert and alcohol. Deal?”
“Deal.” Y/N scoffed out a grin, thankful he was acting like nothing had even changed between them.
“Good. Now get over here and stop being weird. Also, I’m being Yoshi this time. You’re not giving him enough justice.”
“Y/N?” Hyunjin’s voice rang through her ears, breaking her out of her trance. She blinked once, realizing that she had spaced out, eyes lowering to see that Hyunjin was currently gripping onto her arm.
“There you are,” He let out a chuckle, “Been calling your name for about five minutes now. Daydreaming about me?”
The look on his face had her body heating up, and she suddenly felt overwhelmed in his presence. He felt too real. “Don’t touch me,” She snapped out before slapping his hands off of her, “And stop flirting with me. I don’t want you, okay?! I don’t even want to be here, stuck with you, in this god-awful maze. I’m trying to be civil, but you’re not helping! So just… stop. Just fucking stop.”
Y/N could see his face fall, could see how hurt he looked from her words, and she pushed past him roughly, jerking open the next door in attempts to distract herself from his gaze. She got a whiff of his cologne as she did so, and she wanted to strangle herself at the familiarity.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Y/N shrieked out in pure annoyance once she laid eyes on the next room.
In front of them was a room of flickering candles lined across the floor. The scent of roses mixed with wax smoke, and tiny heart-shaped mirrors hung along the walls, reflecting their shadows back at them. The music was slower, seemingly more sensual, and another giant sign was displayed in front of them in a golden hue.
LIGHT MY LUV ♡ WALK ACROSS WITHOUT KNOCKING DOWN THE CANDLES!
Y/N felt like she could just rip her hair out of her head at this point. Everything was starting to overwhelm her—Hyunjin, her feelings, Hyunjin, this god-forsaken room that seemed way too intimate, and Hyunjin—it was all making her feel quite literally insane, and she thought her brain was about to explode all over these heart-shaped mirrors that only seemed to be mocking them.
She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes, willing herself to stop freaking the fuck out and just act civil. She just needs to get through these next couple of rooms, and then her and Hyunjin can go back to how they were before Jisung ruined the peace.
She took a step forward, maneuvering her feet the best she could around the many lit candles that were scattered so randomly on the floor. Her foot ended up nudging a loose candle, and she let out a small gasp when she felt her body stumble over slightly.
“Careful,” Hyunjin deeply mumbled out, attempting to steady her with his arms. He was close to her again, too close, and his hands felt way too warm.
She quickly shoved his hands off of her once she was back on her feet, jerking her head around to glare at him. “What part of don’t touch me do you not understand? Do I need to fucking spell it out for you, Hwang?”
“What the fuck is your issue?” He snapped out, taking a careful step towards her, “I’m only trying to help you. You were literally about to fall on the candles. You could’ve burnt yourself.”
“Yeah, well you should’ve just let me fall,” She scoffed out, foot knocking against another candle, “I don’t need you to save me. I’ve never needed you.”
Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed, “I never said that. You’re overanalyzing things per usual. I don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up about every single thing I’m doing.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Hwang… maybe because, and get this, I can’t fucking stand you?! Has that ever occurred to you?!” She found herself yelling out, the back of her neck hot, “I know it might be hard to believe, but not everyone is fucking obsessed with you! You act like your shit doesn’t stink. The world doesn’t revolve around Hwang Hyunjin and his little, perfect life. Maybe if you stop looking at yourself in the mirror all the time you’d be able to get that thought through your dense fucking skull.”
It was quiet, except for the sound of the music still playing in the background. Y/N was breathing heavy, chest rapidly moving up and down, and she knew she must look crazy. She feels crazy.
The pure rage that was bubbling within her seemed to slowly dissipate once she saw the estranged look on Hyunjin’s face. Y/N has never recalled a moment where he looked this upset, this defeated, and she felt her heart swell in her chest when she noted the tears forming in his eyes.
Suddenly, the lights when out. The music stopped, and a loud pop was heard, almost like a circuit was broke. The only light in the room was the yellow hue the candles gave off.
“What the fuck?” Y/N whispered to herself, fumbling in her jacket pocket for her phone. Once she found it, she opened it, only to see that she had a text from Jisung.
ji 😵💫: YOOOO
ji 😵💫: THE POWER JUST WENT OUT LOLZ
y/n: is that what that was????
ji 😵💫: yuh. me and minho are currently stuck in a room full of creepy killer heart animatronics and i’m trying not to panic
ji 😵💫: our door’s locked and we can’t get out. p sure its a safety thing with the power outage. is urs?
Y/N glanced over towards the next door ahead of them, groaning internally when realizing that she had to go through all these candles to even get over there.
y/n: idk… probabaly. i’m stuck in a room full of candles rn
ji 😵💫: very intimate
ji 😵💫: y’all fucked yet?
y/n: bye.
ji 😵💫: hehehehe
ji 😵💫: before u go… do u think if i hold minho’s hand he will fall in love with me? right answers only
Y/N rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore his text, placing her phone back into her jacket pocket. She saw a flash of a light to her right, glancing over to see that Hyunjin was currently pushing some of the candles out of the way and closer to the wall, using the flashlight from his iPhone to help guide him.
“What are you doing?” She found herself asking, noticing that he had just formed a perfect spot big enough to fit them both. He didn’t reply, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it on the floor before sitting down beside it.
Y/N swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling really awkward just standing here. Should she do the same and sit on the opposite side of the room? Y/N thought that would only make her feel even more awkward, sitting on opposite sides of the room facing each other.
She stood for a few minutes debating on what she should do, before deciding to just walk over towards him, carefully tip-toeing around the candles so she wouldn’t knock them over. She made it in front of him, zipping her jacket off to place on the floor before sitting beside him criss cross applesauce.
He didn’t look at her once. And really, why would he? Y/N knows that she definitely went a little overboard, and she knows she should just apologize, but every time she opened her mouth, no words would come out.
Y/N had found herself thinking back to the days where her and Hyunjin were friends. She thought back to the campus library specifically, at its numerous bookshelves that looked straight out of a Victorian castle, and its overly large tables that held so many memories. She could still see him sitting there, as if he had never left. His messy hair from running his fingers through it too much, the way his eyes would light up over some trivial detail—like how oat milk was obviously better than almond milk in lattes or if that stupid dress meme was blue or gold. She remembered how he used to look at her then, the look in his eyes just a little too soft, a little too warm.
But now… now that softness was gone.
“What happened to us?” Hyunjin asked softly, words seeming to bounce off the walls and directly onto her. She turned to the side at his voice, meeting his gaze. He looked tired. “Why do you hate me so much?”
Y/N could feel tears forming in her eyes at his question, at how strained his voice was. In the glow of this room, Y/N thought he looked beautiful, even when he looked so lost.
“Because…” She whispered out, the words so faint its like she never said them at all, “It’s easier to hate you than it is to love you.”
The look in his eyes was unreadable. His lips parted, like he was wanting to say something, but never did.
A beat passed, and then another, and then she spoke again.
“Do you remember the summer before our senior year?We were all going to Minho’s lake house for the weekend. And… Mina was there,” She started, fidgeting with her hands, “I always knew she never liked me, or liked that I joined your friend group. But I always tried to tolerate her and be nice, because she was your friend, and she was special to you.”
She gulped, his gaze becoming more intense. “We were riding on Minho’s boat. It was really hot that day, and you kept complaining about how your shoulders were getting burnt despite the sunscreen you kept putting on. I remembered… how beautiful you looked in the sun. You had laughed at something Jisung said, and I remembered thinking I wanted to see you like that all the time. Just so happy and carefree… so you,” She breathed out, the memory of him engraved into her mind, “I remembered thinking… that the sun couldn’t compare to your smile. It didn’t even come close.”
She smiled a little at the memory, eyes never leaving his. “I was… I was going to tell you I loved you that night,” She admitted softly, before letting out a short laugh, “Jisung and Minho had convinced me you loved me back. Deep down, I knew that you didn’t, but it was nice for them to make me think differently. Either way, it had started eating me alive the longer I kept it contained, so I needed to let it out. I needed to tell you I loved you… even if you didn’t love me back.”
She glanced down at her hands, noticing that they were slightly shaking. She felt her chest getting tighter.
“That night, we all got a little tipsy. I was asking everyone where you were, and they said you were upstairs in your room. I thought maybe you had gotten sick or something, so I went up there to make sure you were okay, and then I heard Mina’s voice coming from your room.”
Y/N could see Hyunjin from her peripheral vision, saw how he inched a little closer, and she took in a deep breath. “She was saying such awful things about me, Hyunjin. Things I just can’t repeat. She was just so hateful. And you… you didn’t defend me.”
Hyunjin’s body shifted slightly, his lips parting, “Y/N…”
“You just didn’t say anything,” She interrupted him, turning back around to face him, his face only inches away from her own, “You let her talk about me like that. And then you let her kiss you… and then you let her fuck you, like I wasn’t even there. Like I was just… nothing.”
A few tears had fallen down her cheeks and she made no effort to wipe them off. “Did I… did I just mean nothing to you the entire time?”
Hyunjin placed his hands on her shoulders, and then her face once she looked away, gently turning her back around to look him in the eyes. “Y/N, you meant… you mean everything to me,” He breathed out, quickly wiping away her tears with the pad of his fingers, “I was drunk that night. I know that’s not an excuse for my actions, but I was drunk and I was confused and I was frustrated, and then she was there, offering herself to me, when all I kept thinking about was you.”
He moved a little closer, and Y/N gripped his wrist with her hand. “To be honest, I don’t really remember that night with her. It was all a blur. I didn’t… I didn’t even really know what was happening to me. I just remember waking up the next morning to you acting like you hated me… and it made me even more confused and frustrated. So I just went along with it, because that’s what I thought you wanted me to do.”
“I didn’t—“
“I know, baby. I know you didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about that night, I’m sorry for not defending you, and I’m sorry for being an ass all that time. But one thing I’m not sorry for is still finding myself loving you, even after all this time… even if you don’t love me anymore.”
“Hyunjin,” She laughed out, tears falling into her mouth, but she didn’t care, “I’ve never stopped loving you. I honestly don’t think I ever will.”
Hyunjin smiled at her fondly, eyes glancing down towards her lips. He bit his own softly. “Can I kiss you?” He mumbled out, eyes flickering back up towards hers.
Y/N didn’t trust herself to speak, so she nodded hesitantly, grip tightening on his wrist once he wasted no more time in leaning in to place his lips on hers. His lips were so soft, moving against hers so carefully, so delicately. It was a kiss that felt passionate, so perfect, so him.
Y/N didn’t know how many times she had thought about kissing Hyunjin. And now that it was finally happening, on the floor of a room full of candles and heart-shaped mirrors during a weird, valloween themed maze, she could hardly believe it was even happening. It felt like a dream, almost—a dream she decided she never wanted to wake up from.
He pulled away, and her eyes opened slowly. His were still closed, his hand still caressing her face, and he let out a short laugh, leaning his forehead against her own.
“Why are you laughing?” Y/N asked, slightly confused, yet she couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips from his reaction.
He opened his eyes to look at her, a teasing grin on his lips. “I knew you were full of shit.”
Y/N rolled her eyes in reply, grip loosening on his wrist, attempting to move away when he pulled her back towards him, his lips on hers once more.
His hand slid from the side of her face down towards her jaw, cradling her face with such tenderness it made her heart stutter. She fisted the front of his shirt, dragging him closer, kissing him harder like she’s daring him to pull away, daring herself to stop, like she’s wanted to in the first place.
A sound escaped his throat when she used her other hand to grip at the back of his head, roughly threading her fingers through his hair, giving it an experimental tug. His mouth opened in what sounded like a whine, and she used this opportunity to explore his mouth with her tongue, moaning a little at the taste of him. It was intoxicating, he was intoxicating, and she felt like her entire body was burning.
Y/N pushed him down and he fell backwards onto the floor, her body immediately following, lips still hungrily pressed against his own. She sat herself down on his lap, leaning against him, and she found herself rolling her hips down onto him once she felt the hard bulge he was sporting in those pants that looked way too good on him.
They both moaned out at the feeling, and Hyunjin’s hands quickly moved down towards her ass, guiding her hips to move against him. He bit her bottom lip, hips thrusting upwards, and Y/N gasped at the way his cock pressed so deliciously against her clit.
“Wanna be inside you,” He mumbled out through sloppy kisses, “Can I?”
Y/N pulled back a little, movement on her hips never faltering. “I should… I should be asking you that,” She breathed out, hands rubbing against his chest, body jerking once he thrusted his hips up again, “Is this… are you okay with this? Do you want this, with me?”
“Yes, yes,” He replied frantically, voice slightly strained, “I’ve wanted you for so long. Want you to fuck me so bad, baby. Will you? Please?”
He looked so fucked out already, lips red, a little bit of spit falling down the sides, eyes wide and pleading. He looked so beautiful like this, in the soft glow of this room, and Y/N felt like she might just explode.
Y/N slipped her sweater over her head, and Hyunjin immediately groaned at the sight of her breasts bare in front of him. “Fuck, you didn’t wear a bra?” He panted out, hands immediately coming up to knead them in his hands, “Want them in my mouth.”
Before she could say or do anything else, Hyunjin was already stuffing his face into her breasts, mouth immediately wrapping around her right nipple, tongue swirling over the bud. His other hand went up towards her left, pinching her perked nipple at the same time he softly bit at her right one, and she moaned loudly, head tilting back, hips jerking above him.
“Fuck, Jinnie,” She breathed out, feeling like she had just been electrocuted straight to her core. She fumbled with the front of his shirt, attempting to lift it up but failing, “Take this off.”
Hyunjin wasted no time in leaning back to tug his shirt over his head, face immediately digging back into her chest, and Y/N’s hands went straight towards his belt. “Get this… get this off too.”
Hyunjin pulled back with a breathless laugh, and Y/N removed herself from him, frantically popping open the button on her jeans and wiggling herself out of them, tugging down her panties and carelessly tossing them towards the side. Hyunjin watched her intently, eyes trained on her pussy, slowly un-buckling his belt and shoving everything down to his knees. He didn’t even get a chance to take them completely off when Y/N was already sitting back on top of him, pussy gliding against his dick so perfectly.
“Fuck,” He let out at the feeling of her against him, hands coming back up to squeeze at her ass, “You’re fucking drenched. I haven’t even touched you properly yet.”
Y/N whimpered at his words, and Hyunjin felt like his mouth was dry. She quickly gripped him in her hands, lifting her hips up a little to align his tip against her folds. She was so wet that Hyunjin found himself letting out a soft moan, eyes glancing downwards.
“You don’t… don’t want my fingers first?” He breathed out, and Y/N shook her head desperately, rubbing the tip of his dick against her pussy lips. “No,” She choked out a moan, and Hyunjin shivered. “No. Just want your dick, J-Jinnie.”
“Take it then, baby.”
Those words were all she needed before she finally lowered herself down onto him. She sank down slowly, trying to adjust to him properly, his hands harshly gripping the soft plump of her ass, mouth falling open in pure ecstasy.
“Holy fuck,” He loudly groaned out once she bottomed out, feeling like he could nut right then and there, “Baby… you’re so fucking tight. So fucking wet. I’m not going to last long. Holy shit.”
His words only spurred her on, and she found herself planting her hands on his hard chest to lift herself up before going back down on him forcefully. He felt so perfect inside her, like he was made just for her, hitting all the right places that had her toes curling instantly.
Hyunjin was mesmerized at the way her pussy was sucking in his cock, labia softly dragging against him as she moved, and he felt like he was about to bust.
“You’re so sexy, baby. So sexy riding my cock like that,” He moaned out loudly, and Y/N clenched around him, “O-oh. Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum so fast if you keep doing that.”
“Want you to cum,” She whimpered out, thighs starting to burn a little. A harsh smack was felt against her asscheeks, and she gasped loudly, hips increasing their pace, ass slapping against his balls repeatedly.
“Yeah?” He gripped her ass, spreading her cheeks apart, hands urging her to go quicker and harder. Her pussy was drenching his thighs, and Hyunjin felt like he was on cloud-nine. “You gonna cum first for me? Gonna cum all over my cock and show me just how much you love me?”
Y/N whimpered in reply, nodding her head so fast, and Hyunjin glanced beside them, seeing the heart-shaped mirrors lying against the wall. “Open your eyes,” He commanded, delivering another hard smack to her ass, and Y/N let out another moan before obeying him, hooded eyes now locked on his. “I want you to make yourself cum on my cock. And I want you to look beside you as you do it. Understood?”
Y/N felt like both her head and her pussy were about to explode, turning her head towards her side, heart stuttering once she saw her reflection in the mirrors. Her breasts were bouncing with each movement of her hips, her hair was clinging to her sweaty forehead, her ass was jiggling each time it hit his thighs, and she looked like a mess. Yet, the sight of her looking so fucked-out on top of Hyunjin had her pussy clenching around him, and she glanced back at him before leaning her body down a little, sitting down on him completely before grinding against him.
She cursed out, clit rubbing deliciously against his pelvis, dick still full and hitting that sweet spot inside her. Her eyes were trained on her reflection, mouth open as soft whines escaped her lips, watching the way her clit rubbed against him.
“Yeah… just like that,” Hyunjin groaned out, voice raspy, hands coming up to softly twist at her hardened nipples, “You’re doing so well, baby… using me to get yourself off. How good does it feel? You like having my cock stuffing you full while you grind your little clit on me like that?”
“Y-yes,” Y/N choked out a reply, hips jerking at the constant stimulation.
“Yeah? You like watching yourself grind against me? Like seeing how fucking desperate you look? You wanna cum so bad, don’t you? Wanna cum all over my cock and show me just how much of a slut you are for me?”
Another smack to her ass made her hips jerk, and she loudly moaned out at the pressure on her clit, the feeling seeming to travel from her head down towards her toes. Her movements became sloppier, and she started to moan his name even louder, vision turning white as she arched into him, body completely spazzing out on top of him.
“Yeah, just like that,” Hyunjin smirked out, thrusting his hips up a little to help her ride out her high, “You’re creaming all over my cock, baby. Fuck, you’re so wet. So beautiful. So perfect. Feel so perfect.”
A string of praises kept escaping Hyunjin’s mouth, everything sounding so muffled in Y/N’s ears. It wasn’t until she finally came back to her senses that she was able to comprehend what he was saying. The overstimulation of his hard cock inside her made her let out a loud whimper, and she willed herself to raise her hips up, dick lewdly sliding out of her. Hyunjin let out a whine at the sudden loss of contact, dick flopping against his stomach, tip red and leaking.
“What… what are you—oh, fuuuuck.” Hyunjin’s words got caught in his throat, a loud string of moans escaping his mouth once he felt Y/N’s mouth eagerly wrap around his dick.
His hands immediately tangled themselves in her hair, pushing it back so it wouldn’t get stuck in her mouth and so he could watch her face as she sucked him dry. He didn’t even bother to move her head as he really didn’t need to—she was relentless, bobbing her head up and down so fast, tongue swirling everywhere, tasting herself on him, bridge of her nose touching his pelvis each time she went down. Hyunjin kept watching her, completely mesmerized and feeling like he really was about to nut all in her mouth.
She pulled off of him, spit dripping all down her chin, eyes meeting his intensely, “Want you to cum all in my mouth. Want to taste you.” She let out, voice slightly rough from the constant stimulation of his dick in her throat.
She was already back on him before he could even form a singular thought, mouth so warm and so wet and—
“Oh, fuck,” He drawled out a long moan, head tilting backwards and legs tensing up as he shot his load all into her mouth.
She kept sucking him off until he started to go soft in her mouth, popping off of him with a pleased hum, cum flowing down her throat. She crawled back up towards his face, giggle escaping her throat as she glanced at him.
Hyunjin peeped an eye open, “You sucked my soul out of my body.”
“And you gave me quite literally the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my entire life, so I think we’re both even.”
“Hm,” He smiled triumphantly, hands coming up to softly rub against her arms, “Best orgasm you’ve ever had in your entire life, you say? I should be in the Guinness World Records.”
Y/N shoved him lightly, and he pulled her body onto him more. She looked at him, really looked at him, and for a second she couldn’t believe that she was just pretending to hate this man all this time, when all she’s really ever wanted was just him.
“I’m sorry,” She whispered out, and he tilted his downwards to look at her, “I’m sorry for all the things I said earlier. And I’m sorry for being so rude to you all the time. It was childish of me to act that way, and I just let my emotions get in the way.”
Hyunjin smiled softly, a certain fondness in his eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I know I can be an asshole, and I won’t ever act like that around you again,” He replied sincerely, cradling her face in his hands, “But can you blow me a couple more times to show me how sorry you really are?”
Y/N let out an amused scoff in response, attempting to push herself off his body when he brought her face down towards his, planting a soft kiss on her lips. She melted into it immediately, head tilting as she kissed him deeper, and he smiled into her mouth.
“I really do love you.” Y/N spoke against his lips.
“I know,” He kissed her again, “I really do love you, too.”
Y/N laid her head on his chest, and Hyunjin glanced around the room, eyes dancing across the many mirrors and candles still scattered all over the floor, game obviously long forgotten. The power was still out, and at this point, Y/N didn’t really know when they’d be turning back on, but she didn’t really care. She’d stay like this forever if she could.
“Sooo,” Hyunjin’s voice sang out, a mischievous look on his face. Y/N could already tell what was coming. “How many times do you think we can fuck in here before the lights turn back on?”
