Remember that one anon talking about how they wanted to major in some sort of language/writing something or other? I’m back again. Two days into the new school year and I’m already falling behind in my English class. What if this isn’t the right thing for me? How did you know it’s what you wanted to do?
Of course I remember! Hello :D it’s so lovely to hear from you!!
I’m so sorry that this school year is off to a rough start. I’ve definitely been there! In undergrad, I struggled a LOT with some of my classes. In particular, I absolutely sucked at phonology. I could go to class, fill up several pages with notes, come home and try to read them, and not remember or understand any of it. I couldn’t memorize the features (ways of representing different sounds), I couldn’t do the problem sets, and when it came time for the midterm, I turned in my exam paper half-blank because I had absolutely no idea where to even start on the problems. Now, phonology is pretty important for linguists, so I really started to doubt myself, and whether or not I was supposed to be a linguistics major at all. I looked around and saw other people having such an easy time, and I would go home from class in tears because I felt so inadequate (my mental health was Really Something that year). So I had to do a lot of thinking about whether or not this was the right path for me.
But I realized that phonology wasn’t the only field in linguistics. Sure, it’s important, and as a linguist, I needed to know some of it, but I didn’t have to specialize in it. There were so many other fields of linguistics that I was better at, and more importantly, that I enjoyed more! I explored a lot– for a time, I tried to do computational linguistics, because I was trying to prove something about myself, but it was an uphill battle, and I didn’t like it as much, so when I finally decided to go into psycholinguistics, my life became much easier. There’s so many different fields in your area of study! Even if this class is hard, I’m sure you’ll find something that comes more naturally to you, and that you’ll enjoy more. Sometimes, we have to get through the sucky basics first, and then things become much more fun.
This isn’t to say that if something is hard, we shouldn’t do it. I still struggle a lot. Right now, I’m working on a morphology problem set that has me tearing my hair out because it’s so weird and difficult. I love linguistics, but it doesn’t necessarily always come easily to me. I actually have to work twice as hard as everyone else sometimes, because my brain is weird, and doesn’t work in the same way as other people’s do, and it can be really frustrating to know that I’m trying so hard, and still just getting average results. But in the end, I’m okay with that, because I love what I do, and I love the hard work (even though I hate it, too haha). Because, what matters to me is what I’m learning, not what other people are doing. Sure, someone in my class might grasp things more naturally, but that doesn’t detract from my knowledge or my passion. I love linguistics and I want to study it, and that’s what’s important in the end.
I think the most important thing is your passion. I know it’s a buzzword these days, and it sounds really cheesy, but try imagining your life without studying language. If it feels empty or wrong, then the chances are, your passion is real. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to do it for a living; if you decided to, you could easily study it on the side! It seems like you really love it, and my advice to you would be to keep it in your life in some regard, whether or not that means studying it on your own, or in school. So, that’s my official advice, and my unofficial opinion is that you should keep on studying it in school, just give it a little time and see how things work. Maybe things will improve, or maybe not, but you’ll never know unless you try!
I know I keep talking about myself, but I feel like my own experience is the best example I can give, because I know it the best. But okay, so I have to admit, I’m not the studyblr-perfect student whom you picture when you think of a PhD student. I wasn’t valedictorian of my high school (not even close), and I got kicked out of the honors program in college. I got some C’s, and in my last quarter, I nearly failed two classes. But here I am, working on my doctorate, and loving every minute of it. My point is, you don’t have to be perfect. Just do things your way, and let your passion shine through. That’s what got me where I am. If you love your field as much as I think you do, I truly believe that you’ll find your way.
I knew that I wanted to do this because I couldn’t imagine my life without it. Your passion doesn’t have to be that dramatic, of course, but if it calls to you, I think you know. It just feels right. What’s most important is that you love it, and that you’re willing to work hard for that love, and the rest will fall into place. I know I sound a little preachy for a first-year student, but I have so much faith in you and what you’re doing. It’s normal to doubt ourselves– even now, I sometimes think about dropping out of school, or changing my major, or going into music. But what gets us through that doubt is our passion, and I think you have a lot of that.
Also, I promise I’m not trying to be condescending, but if you ever need help studying, I’m here! Even if you just want to study at the same time, or anything like that. Since we’re sort of in the same field, I feel like we could learn from each other!
Best of luck with everything, and please keep me updated with how things are going! I know you’re going to do great things 💖
