sunwoo as your best friend who is secretly (not so secretly) in love with you headcanons
Pairing: Sunwoo x fem!reader
Genre: fluff
Word count: 183
AN: hiii, second post!! (≧▽≦) this time, some sunwoo headcanons, still new to writing, but it was fun to do ♡ hope you like iiit
• teases you constantly, giving you the most ridiculous nicknames — it's basically his love language at this point
• jokingly scares away any guy who tries to hit on you… except he's not really joking
• invites himself over to your house like it's completely normal — already knowing where everything is
• anime marathons at your place are a regular thing — and somehow you always end up watching "Your Name", even when you both swore you'd pick something different this time
• sends you random photos throughout his day for no reason at all — but if you stop replying for a while he suddenly starts sending even more
• grabs your hand whenever you walk next to each other, mumbling excuses like
"your hands are cold"
or
"just checking if mine are still bigger than yours"
• brags about you to his friends like you're already his girlfriend
• extremely clingy with you — whenever you introduce him to new friends they immediately assume you're dating
• complains dramatically whenever you don't give him enough attention
• best friend Sunwoo who is so obviously in love with you… except you somehow can't see it
Thank you friend! I covered the Chanhee request here because this post wouldn’t work properly beyond Sunwoo’s hc’s 🥲
Enemies to Lovers with Sunwoo:
cw - fluff, smut, body worship, Sunwoo’s like a middle schooler, i do NAWT support the “if he bullies you he prob likes you” thing people try to say sometimes but for the sake of the plot lets just consider it a healthy opinion to have 😮💨, Sunwoo is bad w feelings </3
I 100 percent believe that if Sunwoo has any type of animosity with someone then this dude just goes quiet
Like he’s not going to verbally annoy or attack you
Mans is just gonna pretend you don’t exist
And he doesn’t even explain why he doesn’t like you to anybody
None of the boys know and you don’t either
But his constant avoidance of you made you hate him too
Like who does he think he is?
You and the guys often have dinner together at one of your’s apartments just to catch up for the week
Or weeks if its been too long
And Sunwoo always manages to sit where you can’t even exist in his peripheral vision
This time it’s Younghoon’s apartment you’ve gathered at
And he’s ordered pizza
But the pizza you want is on Sunwoo’s side of the coffee table
And you roll your eyes
You’ve had an ass day as it is
Getting late in the morning, missing an important deadline, burning your favourite shirt, the coffee running out on you
Anything that could go wrong today went wrong
And talking to Sunwoo was the last think you were looking forward to
But you still try to be civil
“Sunwoo can you please pass me the slice,”
And yet he pretends not to listen.
“Sunwoo?”
His face turns slightly in your direction
“Pass me the pizza,”
He already has a slice in his hands
But he maintains eye contact while he grabs the slice you asked for
(the very last one)
And and then eats it in record time
You’re stunned and annoyed but you can’t really do much besides huff and sit back
Haknyeon offers you his slice though
At which Sunwoo rolls his eyes
And get knee’d in the thigh by Eric
The night progresses and you guys start a spontaneous karaoke session
And it’s you and Changmin up in front of the TV going all out on After Like
The dive jumped out of the depths of both your souls
Coincidentally, Sunwoo’s sitting on the couch right behind you
His eyes on your ass but he’s not going to be confessing to that accusation in the event that anybody catches him
When you and your temporary dance partner finish with a bow to your makeshift audience
The boys go all out on the applause
While Sunwoo’s sat there looking like the grim reaper
“You look like you’re rotting from the inside out,”
That’s your first mistake.
Your second mistake is thinking Sunwoo wouldn’t say anything back
“Kind of happens when I have to look at you flail around like a dying crab for five minutes,”
Any other day you would’ve rolled your eyes and let it go
But again. You’ve had a terrible day and you’re too irritated to let him treat you like shit
“What the fuck is your problem with me?”
“Your existence is a curse on me,”
It’s supposed to be a joke
A shit joke but a joke nonetheless
And Sunwoo thinks you’ll take it like one
You know. Like he intended.
You don’t
You pick up the cushion nearest to you and throw it at his face
“You’re a horrible person,”
The others watch in horror as the situation escalates quicker than they can control it
Just as Sunwoo realises that he hit a nerve and that those are tears in your eyes
You burst out the door
You run out the building without any concern for the rain that’s pounding outside
And the fact that you’re wearing sweats and a tshirt that won’t save you from the cold
Sunwoo figures out that he’s actually crossed a limit and runs after you
“Why won’t you leave me alone?! Stop following me!”
You would manage to scream at him through your tears and the clouds pouring down
“It was supposed to be a joke I promise!”
“Fuck you!”
Let me remind you that this is you two on the side walk while everyone else rushes to get under shelter
Sunwoo would run a little faster and catch up to you
A true kdrama moment happens when he grabs your arm and turns you around– the torque making you spin right into his arms
“I didn’t mean it,”
Both of you are breathless with you still hiccuping through your sobs
“You always treat me like shit! I don’t even know what I did!”
You’d try to push him away but he’d only pull you back harder.
“I know. I know and I’m– I’m sorry,”
You’d try to wipe your face and look at him with all the seriousness you could muster
“Why do you hate me so much,”
“I don’t hate you,” he’d laugh, annoying you even more.
“Then why are you such a dick to me?”
“Because I–“
He says something but you can’t hear because thunder strikes at the very moment.
“What?”
Sunwoo would say it again but the thunder would overpower his voice once more
“I can’t understand a word-“
“I said I love you!”
He screamed because he thought that the thunder would cut him off again BUT!!! IT DOESNT!!! SO BOTH OF YOU AND A FEW BYSTANDERS STARE IN SHOCK!!!!
But Sunwoo would sigh and start explaining himself
“I’m just. Bad with feelings okay. I didn’t know how to be nice to you without exposing my feelings so I just. Did whatever I had to do to make you run away from me– I’m. Sorry,”
He’d cup your face with both hands,
“I really am,”
Kissing a dude you considered your mortal enemy under the rain was not in your 2022 bucket list but would you look at how the earth moves
Kissing him even harder in the comfort of your room was an even more far fetched thought
But you know what you did think about a lot?
Kim Sunwoo taking his time undressing you
Him being the epitome of patience as he kisses down your neck, your chest, scatters them on your belly,
All the way down to the “hidden treasure” between your thighs > his words not mine
He sits on his knees before your alter and worships your body for hours upon end
All the way into the morning when the sky stops pouring outside and the sun peaks out
The way his head has been peaking out between your thighs all night
He would kiss and nip all the dips and curves your body shows him
His thick warm lips wrap around your nipples and his slick tongue plays with them until they turn sore
He toys with them until your body aches for his cock
And then he would turn you onto your front
Palm laying flat at the middle of your back and pushing you down on the mattress
Just for him to slide inside and give you what you begged him for
His hands would busy themselves soothing out any stiff muscles he can find
While his dick pushes your insides open to fit his girth
He’d change like a billion positions to find the spot that makes you crumble in his arms again and again
And it would just be the start of his apologies for treating you horribly because of his terrible emotion handling skills
Making love to you like a devoted husband?
Fucking you like his personal whore?
He would do it all just to prove that he can please you however you want
You just have to say yes
Which you do eventually
While riding him in the early morning to give his back a break 🫶🏼
Can u do dating sunwoo as well?? I really like how you write 💖
OFC I CAN HOL UP
genre : fluff & smut
. . . DATING KIM SUNWOO WOULD INCLUDE . . .
- randomness 24/7. sure, sunwoo is a pretty chill dude around you since he's trying to impress you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't say the most randomest shit at any given point.
- sunwoo is the opposite of boring. he'll take you to strange locations and have a picnic there, burst into song in the middle of the afternoon, even show up at your doorstep with obnoxiously obvious gifts. so much for keeping this relationship under wraps smh.
- a giant goofball!! sunwoo always keeps you entertained because he just wants to see you happy :) your happiness makes him happy.
- soccer lessons. the same way you pass along your interests to him, he'll do the same to you. sunwoo loves watching you slowly pick up how to play his favorite sport.
- lots of flirty touches. i mean LOTS. in public, while you're with the others, he don't care! you're his and he wants the world to know it.
- WARNING: don't wear a short skirt around sunwoo unless you want his hand up it or unless you want to get fucked in the bathroom of wherever y'all are out eating at.
- he's a kinky bastard, and one of his faves is public sex. maybe not completely seen by the public, but the thrill of knowing someone could pass by and figure out what's going on sends him through the roof.
- sunwoo wants to please you. he'll never say no to anything you suggest or want to try in the bedroom. even that one time you tied him up and overstimulated him for a good half hour. he doesn't regret a thing.
- quite high sex drive. good luck lolz.
- love, love, LOVES it when you play with his hair. he just wants to be adored by you and to adore you.
- he's definitely written a song or two about you. ;)
Sunwoo wishes for the girl of his dreams. You wish he can see it in your eyes before it’s too late.
Italics are for flashbacks, past memories etc...
A/N: This was from a request which suddenly turned into a full-out fic soooo I did my best. I got inspired suddenly and somehow, writing for Sunwoo ALWAYS brings out the best in my creativity hehehe. Let me know what you think! ENJOYYY!!!~ And psst, anon who requested this; Thank you!! <3
----
Listening to: the girl I haven't met by Kudaisai
----
Sunwoo is not cut out for relationships.
He's known that in the worst way possible; through heart break. Nothing special. His girlfriend had decided that he wasn't good enough, had decided to find herself a man worthy of her taste, and Sunwoo -- without any valid reason to make her stay -- had allowed her to slip through his fingers.
Sunwoo prides himself in the fact that he’s a hopeless romantic even though he doesn’t say it out loud. Serenades, love songs scribbled in the back of his notebook, conversations in the dark at three in the morning...those are the things he lives for, that makes him feel alive and connected to another soul. Yet, he’s been unlucky so far trying to find the girl of his dreams. The girl that ticks all of his boxes.
“She doesn’t exist,” you tell him on the day of his breakup.
“She does,” Sunwoo mumbles into his wine glass. You’ve agreed to meet him at the bar you guys know off by heart, have gotten close and comfortable with all his breakup stories like a playlist of songs he puts on repeat. It’s normal for Sunwoo to reach out whenever one of his romantic adventures don’t end well -- and that has been happening a little too often for your liking.
You’d been introduced to Sunwoo through your older brother’s mutual friends during a college party a few months ago. But it wasn’t until he had shown up at your house a few weeks ago with a drunk Changmin in tow that you’d gotten to have a good talk while your brother threw up his entire dinner and breakfast from that same morning.
“You did this?” you’d asked him, Changmin’s distant retching echoing down the hallway and causing you to wince slightly.
“Technically, it was Sangyeon’s fault,” Sunwoo had shrugged half-heartedly, a playfulness present in his eyes, “but I can’t say I’m totally innocent.”
That day, Sunwoo had left the house at around six in the morning, and you had gone to bed with a smile lingering on your lips.
“Sunwoo, girls aren’t like the ones in the movies. You’ll never find someone that’s perfect. She won’t always be pretty and kind and everything you want her to be,” you tell him now, watching as he downs the rest of his wine in a single gulp, “you’re only hurting yourself that way.”
“How would you know?” Sunwoo’s eyes lifts up to meet yours, half-drunk with alcohol and blazing with fiery heartbreak. He doesn’t say it out loud but you know that he’s hurting on the inside, “maybe she’s just waiting around the corner. I just haven’t noticed her yet.”
You’re right, you think to yourself as your gaze flickers back to the drink in your hand, you haven’t noticed me, after all.
Being Sunwoo’s confidante had done you more bad than good when you’d realized your feelings had tipped over the edge. You know, without asking for any confirmation, that you’re far from his type. The girl he’s looking for is perfect and beautiful; both things that you, or any other girl for that matter, are not. He wishes for the type of girl that only exists in a man’s dream, carved into his desires and molded to perfection without any flaw existent. And you’re without a doubt too flawed, too imperfect, for Sunwoo to even blink your way.
You ask Changmin once, an afternoon where you both are in the comfort of your home. A surprise, really, considering that Changmin now spends his entire free time with his new girlfriend.
“What do you mean?” his tone is immediately suspicious and your stomach drops with panic. Shit, you shouldn’t have mentioned it.
Quickly, you try to scramble for an answer, “I--uh--well, I mean. Has he ever...said anything about me?”
“Why? Is he flirting with you?”
“What? No, I--”
“You don’t like him, do you?”
“No.”
Changmin stares you down, “Oh my god. You do.”
“No I just-- I’m just curious you know. Since he seems to have a very specific type.”
He’s not satisfied with your answer, but tells you nevertheless that Sunwoo has never mentioned you, not really. And that it’s awkward anyway, considering that you both are siblings.
“I don’t wanna know whether he’s screwing you or not,” Changmin sniffs and you slap the back of his head in disgust with a roll of your eyes, “I wouldn’t tell you in the first place, you loser.”
When Sunwoo brings over another girl at the party at Changmin’s flat a few days later, your heart practically falls out of you chest in a mixture of shock and surprise.
Cornering him in the kitchen at some point in the evening, you ask, “who’s she?”
You don’t mean to sound so accusatory and yet, he frowns at you in annoyance, “a friend I met. We take the same classes.”
Obviously, the girl is a beauty to the eyes of society. With those full lush lips and long endless eyelashes that seem to weigh over two pounds. God knows how much of her features are real, but you’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt. Even when your heart breaks a little every time you catch her and Sunwoo nestled in a corner of the room.
The familiar burn stings your nose, eyes feeling hot with the onset of tears. You’ve seen Sunwoo with countless other women before. It shouldn’t affect you that much. It’s just a crush. Or a love that you should quickly put out before it burns even hotter.
Right?
“It’s like--no one really listens to me,” Sunwoo gazes at the darkness hanging above your heads like a blanket twinkling with a million glittering stars. The sky is clear tonight, giving you a full view of the entire naked galaxy and you let out a soft sigh, leaning back onto your elbows only to feel your arm brush his.
You instantly pull away as he continues on, “they do, to an extent. But they don’t understand. They don’t get it. I just want to be with someone who gets me-- who laughs at the same jokes I do. What I had with my ex was good--but it wasn’t enough. In the end, I was relieved to see her go because I...I didn’t have the courage to break it off.”
“You didn’t love her?”
Your eyes fall onto his jawline, trace it down his adam’s apple. Swallowing hard, you look away, “I did. Just...maybe just not enough. Not in the right way.”
At that moment, you feel his shoulder brush against yours and despite the initial tug in your gut to edge yourself away so that you don’t fall into the temptation of his warmth, Sunwoo’s scent, Sunwoo’s firmness and presence, is just too good for you to give it up. So you lean back ever so slightly, pulse jumping out of your skin when he re-adjusts himself so that you can lean in a little better even. You know, deep down, that this means nothing to him. And it is nothing, merely two friends spending time with each other.
But to you, it means everything. And Sunwoo will never know.
"So do you like her?” you blurt out without warning.
The way Sunwoo blinks at you makes you realize how stupid you’re being. How is it any of your business?
You hold his gaze though, secretly hoping he’d deny your question. But the way his smile reaches the corners of his eyes tells you everything.
And you hear the distant crack in-between your heartstrings, the familiar sting spreading through your chest.
----
Then, your life turns around. Upside down, without warning.
Changmin is in tears. The house, your family, is in entire chaos at the news. You don’t know how much time you waste cooped up in your room, crying until your eyes turn red and until you feel like your throat is on fire. It comes to a point where it hurts to have the tears dribble down your cheeks, burning the tender, swollen skin lining your eye sockets.
Useless. Stupid. What’s the point?
You don’t have the energy to check your phone. And you don’t expect anyone to reach out. All the friends you’ve made are just out of pure necessity of being in the same course, of taking the same classes and for the sake of exchanging notes. You hardly know anyone by name and don’t even expect them to realize you’re absent from class.
That changes the instant there’s a soft knock at your door, followed by a familiar alto that causes your heart to skip a beat.
“What’s wrong?” is the first thing that comes out of Sunwoo’s mouth. He sits at the edge of your bed and it hits you; how out of place he seems in the girly frills that make up your childhood bedroom.
“Nothing,” you smile weakly back at him, “just caught a bad cold.”
“How long have you had this? You could’ve told me.”
You shake your head, not bearing the thought of telling him the truth and masking it as a half-lie instead, “maybe a few days ago? It’s a really bad one though, so don’t get too close.”
“You’re such an idiot,” but he’s ruffling your hair as he says so, causing your heart to flare up inside your chest and blossoming with heats of pink across your cheeks.
You duck away as he asks, “is this why you look like you’ve been bawling your eyes out?”
"...Yeah.” If only he knew.
In a panic to change the subject, you quickly switch to asking about his newest romantic interest, “so how’s your new girlfriend doing? What’s her name again?”
“Ah Yubin?” Sunwoo shifts on the bed to face you, “yeah, she’s alright. We get along well and she’s gorgeous. I don’t know her that well yet though, so it’s hard to tell.”
“Do you have a good feeling about it?”
You try not to focus on the tightness in your chest, looking down at your hands in order to avoid his eyes.
“Yeah,” you know without looking at him that his lips are pulled into that pretty grin that reaches his eyes and make his dimple appear at the corner of his mouth. That only encourages your stomach to tighten into knots of unease, “yeah, I do have a good feeling about it.”
“Hey Y/N. How do you know when you’ve met the one?”
It’s a Sunday morning and you’re walking back home after your morning jog with Sunwoo at your side. The air is misty and cold, a chill running up your arms now that you’ve cooled off and Sunwoo had offered his jacket like a gentleman. You hadn’t refused.
You hum at his question, looking down at the alley basking in the golden glow of the sunrise coming up from behind the houses, “doesn’t it just...click somehow? Like, you can’t see yourself with anybody else now that you’re with them.”
“Have you ever felt that?”
You spare him a glance. Big mistake, for Sunwoo is already looking at you through eyes as big as a doe’s, wide and filled with open curiosity that causes your breath to stutter.
“Maybe,” you look away, “I don’t know.”
“Oh yeah? Do I know him?”
“Of course you don’t.” Of course he does. How thick is this man?
Very, apparently. For he keeps on pestering you, “wait--all this talk about romance and relationships--and you never told me about this?”
“Why should I? You never asked,” you retort in an attempt to hide your flustered demeanour.
“Have you told him?”
“Of course not.”
“Why not?”
That makes you stop in your tracks. For a moment, you wish for the ground to swallow you up whole. Sunwoo stops a little ahead of you, looking back with such genuine confusion that it makes your heart ache and your pulse race.
“Because he’d never like me back,” you whisper, eyes locking onto his, “at least, not in this lifetime.”
-------
Winter is just around the corner when you get admitted to hospital and you manage to evade Sunwoo’s horde of messages bombarding your phone for a total of four days until your brother finally bursts into your room, phone in hand and the said young man on the other end of the line.
“Talk to him,” is the only thing that Changmin says before he swivels around and makes a dramatic exit out of the room, all of that to make you giggle. You had to admit that it’s been much easier going through the means of life with your brother around. Granted, you’re not sure what you would’ve done without him.
That small moment of happiness flies out of the window the moment you press the device to your ear:
“Y/N, what the fuck?”
You wince. “Hey Sunwoo.”
“I thought you were--you told me you were getting better!”
“And I was!” you giggle despite your situation, “but uhm--I guess it got worse during the night. It was an emergency--”
"You are so dead when I see you,” Sunwoo growls into the phone, “and why the fuck have you not answered any of my calls?”
“Because I’m hospitalized, dumbass,” you can’t help but roll your eyes, “now stop worrying. I’m fine.”
He grunts to signal that he’ll make do with that excuse for now, though you doubt that you’ll be able to keep your sickness a secret for long.
One week in hospital turns to two. Then two turns into a month. Then another, and another. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you have something much worse than just a cold. Sunwoo is, to no one’s surprise, filled with rage by the idea of you lying to him, to which you retort that it was for his own good back then. It’s only when he finally pays you a visit after your chemotherapy session that all his anger dissipates.
“I thought you hated hospitals,” you joke upon noticing his lingering stare on the IV tube attached to your right wrist.
“I do,” his eyes flicker up to yours. You notice that they’re slightly swollen and you reach out shakily with your free hand for him to grasp it; he does after some slight hesitation before he settles himself on the edge of your bed.
A silence swallows up the entire room, lest for the heart monitor signalling that you’re still alive.
When Sunwoo speaks next, his voice is merely above a raspy murmur:
“When were you planning to tell me?”
You squeeze his palm, “I’m sorry. I just...” your breath is shaky, throat clogging up as you try to hold back tears, “I didn’t know how.”
He doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t have to, only squeezes back in comfort.
In the following weeks to come, you are constantly bombarded with visitors, friends and family alike who wish you well and who are constantly showering you with food and gifts and god knows what. Your parents take turns staying with you even when you tell them not to, until Changmin decides that he’ll be the one in charge, having taken a sick leave from his job at the Dance Academy in favour of being by your side through the process. Soon, you fall into the routine of chemo sessions, walks in the hospital garden, and looking out of your window at the pale blue sky while nibbling on bits and pieces of food.
It scares you, how easily you’ve adapted to this situation. And you know, that albeit the fact that everything feels normal, that your parents have been troubled with the hospital bills, that your mother cries herself to sleep at night, and that your brother -- despite his happy mask -- is slowly crumbling to pieces inside when nobody’s looking.
And Sunwoo --oh, Sunwoo -- is having the time of his life with a girl that could’ve been you in another life.
Not this, not this monstrosity of a naked head that stares back at you with a scowl whenever you dare look into the mirror.
In times like these, you allow yourself to comb back through the countless memories; long and lazy summer days at Grandma’s place, bike rides around the neighbourhood with Changmin, strawberry picking with your family during vacation, getting bubble tea at odd hours with Sunwoo in-between classes.
“What about soulmates?” Sunwoo looks over at your question, and you look back at him from your position on the grass, wondering how in the world someone can look so beautiful from this angle. With the tree leaves above his head and the sun shining down, you’d believe him if he’d told you he’s an angel from heaven.
“What about them?”
A soft wind ruffles through his hair. Your fingers ache to comb through those locks so badly.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” you ask.
“Dunno. I guess. But isn’t there this, like, theory that soulmates aren’t your lovers and stuff?”
Closing your eyes to savour the warmth of the sun on your skin, you reply with, “I think it depends.”
“On?”
“On what you’re looking for in a lover.”
Sunwoo is quiet for a moment. Then, he says, “oh. that’s one way of looking at it,” there’s a slight pause before he asks, “what do you look for in a lover?”
It is at that moment that you open your eyes, only to realize he’s gazing down at you and out of impulse, your fingers tighten into fists upon your stomach, “friendship. I want to laugh with him. I want him to be my best friend.”
But that’s not what you want to say. The words that are threatening to slip past your tongue are deadly, like poison:
I want him to be you.
“Best friend?” Sunwoo’s nose crinkles in the most adorable way, like a confused puppy, “that’s...”
“Weird?”
“Hm. Kinda,” he glances down at you then and you swear you feel heat travel through your chest, up your throat and through the back of your neck. “that would be like...going out with you.”
He’s so clueless it’s ridiculous. You’re torn between wanting to cry or laugh.
Biting down onto your lower lip so hard you fear you might draw blood instead, you’re quick to gaze at the expanse of green that surrounds the pair of you. In the distance, a couple sits on the bench, nestled close and hands intertwined like they’re never meant to let go. It makes your heart twist in your chest.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
-------
"Y/N, I really want you to meet her.”
Those words pierce right through your chest. What the-- the monitor suddenly beeps, alerting Sunwoo’s attention towards your racing pulse.
You’re quick to stop his advances, hands gesturing in wild circles to gain his attention, “it’s fine--it’s fine! There’s nothing, really.”
“You’re not lying to me are you?” Sunwoo asks suspiciously. You don’t blame him, considering you had lied a few times.
“I’m fine,” you gesture for him to sit down, which he does after a few more moments of hesitation. Sighing and leaning forward to press his elbows atop his knees, he cocks his head at you and it’s clear from his face that he’s waiting for a response.
“I--uh, I don’t know Sunwoo,” you laugh nervously, dread creeping along your insides, “I don’t think I’m in any shape to meet anyone at the moment.”
Heck, you’re barely holding on as it is.
The doctor has given you a month at the most. Two, if you’re lucky. At the speed that the disease is spreading.
Disappointment lies in his eyes, but he merely smiles at you before he nods, “that’s okay,” one of his hands reach out to squeeze yours, "I understand."
You know he does. That hurts you even more, how understanding he is in comparison to the envy coating you entire heart green.
He tells you stories about his week, about finishing up most of his finance exams and flunking out the one on economics because he claims the subject hates him. He talks about your friends; their new dates, the school gossip that would've made you snigger back in the day. Not now though. Now, you merely giggle and gaze out at the garden ahead of you in a daze, not comprehending that your time is ending sooner than you'd expect.
"What is one thing you'd like to do?"
Sunwoo's question brings you out of your trance.
"Huh?" You blink at him.
He repeats said question with a grin and suddenly, you're traveling back through time to that moment he's asked you the exact same question.
"What is one thing you'd like to do? If you had one wish before dying?"
Taking your gaze off the waves lapping up at the sand in favour of looking up at Sunwoo, you take in the shape of his lips, the gold sheen glimmering across his skin as the sun sets in the horizon.
"One thing?" You ponder aloud, "I don't know. I'm sure you'd expect me to say something like meeting my celebrity crush or seeing the northern lights. That's what everyone says, after all."
"But?"
"But I'm simple," you smile then, "I want to be kissed properly. And I want...I want to make love with the person I love."
"I want to be kissed," you murmur out without thinking before gasping out in horror, eyes flickering up to Sunwoo's.
He, on the other hand, hasn't realized anything, "it hasn't changed huh?"
You shake your head. Your heart practically gallops in your chest.
"Okay so," he drags the word out and unconsciously smoothes down your hair at the back of your head, "who do you want to kiss?"
You, you think.
"No one in particular. Not at this moment."
Something changes in his expression, though nothing else can be said when the doctor interrupts for your daily dose of medication. He reminds you of your deadline as he does so, and you try hard to ignore the alarm growing on Sunwoo's face.
When the doctor leaves, the silence hanging in the air is so thick with tension that you'd willingly cut it with a knife. You keep your eyes on the fists you've made onto the blankets, avoiding the hot scowl the young man sends your way.
"When...you weren't gonna tell me?" His voice is thick and raspy with silent anger.
"I..." you trail off in a murmur, "I didn't know how to tell you."
"Y/N how could you let me sit there and not!--" his hands fly to his hair to tug at his strands. He cries out in anguish, walks a few steps back and forth across the room, "a month? A month?!"
"I'm so sorry."
"You--I--God I'm so--" Sunwoo's body shakes, fists clenched at his sides, "so you weren't going to tell me?"
"I was, I just-- It's hard for me," tears prick at your eyes, "I've barely come to terms with it myself, I--"
A sob interrupts your words and all too soon you find yourself crying into Sunwoo's chest despite the fact that he'd been yelling at you this past minute. His chest, unlike his words, ia warm and comforting, and it makes you cry even harder knowinf that this won't last forever.
"I'm sorry," you murmur brokenly after a few beats of silence. You hear him sigh into your hair. And then, the softest of touches pushing your hair away from your forehead.
"It's alright," he doesn't sound angry. But he does sound tired, weary of what to say next. You don't say anything back, for there is nothing but a string of apologies lingering upon the tip of your tongue.
I'm sorry.
----
"C'mon! I wanna take a picture."
"I look like shit--"
"Precisely why I want that picture!"
Grinning at Sunwoo through the viewfinder of your camera, you ignore his scowl, all too entertained by the smear of ketchup on his face, the piece of fry stuck to his bottom lip.
He looks downright ridiculous and you love it.
----
"Hey Y/N, close your eyes."
You're barely able to open them at this point. The medicine flowing through your veins makes you dizzy and lethargic, and if it weren't for Sunwoo sitting on your bed then you'd already be off to dreamland by now.
So you obey willingly, close your eyes without a fight.
Silence. Sunwoo's weight shifts onto the bed as a whiff of warmth caresses your forehead.
And then, the softest of lips pressing onto yours.
All air leaves your body, muscles tensing with shock as you register his actions.
Your eyes shoot open on impulse just in time to see Sunwoo lean back, the softest of peonies dusting his cheeks as you gape at him like an idiot.
"What...was that?" Your words are barely above a whisper.
"I thought-- I thought you said that was the one thing you wanted before..." he trails off, though the words imply nothing else but the impending death hanging around your neck.
"Well yeah, but--"
"But?"
Keeping your eyes glued on the bed sheets, you murmur out, "but not if the feeling's not mutual."
A pause ensues as you squeeze your eyes ahut with mortification. God, what an idiot. This just makes things twice as hard and you're not sure your heart can take it.
It doesn’t make you feel any better when Sunwoo’s apology hangs in the air.
----
"What would you do if I died?"
Sunwoo's face is contorted into a full-on scowl and you giggle at his expression, chucking a popcorn at his face. He ducks, scowl deepening tenfold as you repeat your question like you’re asking something as simple about the weather.
“What kind of question is that?” he asks as he leans back against the edge of the couch. The romcom movie that you’ve chosen a few hours ago is left playing on mute, as it always does whenever you and Sunwoo find yourselves in the same room.
“Come on. Just answer it. Or are you scared?” You wriggle your brows.
He scoffs at that, “what would you want me to do if you died then?”
You hum, leaning your jaw against your palm as you allow yourself to trace Sunwoo’s features alighted by the moving lights of the tv screen. He doesn’t know how beautiful he is, and you wonder how long will you be able to keep that to yourself until someone else comes and steals him away.
“Well, first off: I’d want you to keep in touch with Changmin and my parents. I think they’d need the support after I’m gone,” you tick the list off your fingers, “then I’d like you to visit me at least once every six months. And bring daffodils with you every time you do okay? Or I’ll haunt you. And I like daffodils. They look cute. And then uh--please talk to my tombstone a little so that my spirit can hear what you have to say.”
“You won’t have a spirit,” he deadpans, “you’d be dead.”
“You don’t know that!” you respond in mock offence. Holding your pinky out to him, you continue by saying, “okay so...will you? You gotta pinky promise.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Come onnnn.”
“No.”
You pout, knowing that it’s exactly his weak point. Sunwoo just glares at you for a full minute before he finally relents with a sigh, leaning over to hook his pinky with yours, “there,” he murmurs, “happy now?”
You beam at him, “much so.”
----
You did like daffodils a lot.
The day is cloudy, with hints of light rain dotting his worn-out denim jacket as he stands with daffodils in hand, eyes raking over your name engraved onto the tombstone. The rock is new and clean, looking fresh and quite out of place amongst the already worn-out tombstones surrounding the area, but Sunwoo knows it won’t be long until yours turn the same ashen brown colour filled with dirt.
It’s been two months, and he still hopes to turn around and see you standing there, all smiles and arms welcoming him into a hug.
Your last day had been downright terrifying. Horrible, if he were to say so himself. He’d seen you suffer throughout your various therapy sessions, had noticed your sunken cheekbones and the tired blue aprons lining the underside of your eyelids, your chapped lips. But on your last day, you’d barely had any energy to lift yourself up to greet him.
Your death was peaceful enough. Gone in your sleep, that’s what the doctors had told him when he’d been sane enough to listen to anyone but the singular alarm blaring through your heart monitor.
Still, it hits him in the gut. Every. Single. Time.
Crouching down to place the daffodils atop the tombstone, Sunwoo lifts his finger to the engraved letters making up your name as he tries to remember what it feels like to trace your face.
“She loved you.”
Changmin’s words slice the air, as swift and as aggressive as a knife drawing blood. It takes the younger man a minute to realize the weight of his statement.
When he does, Sunwoo’s eyes widen, “What are you-- What’re you talking about?”
“Exactly what you think I’m talking about,” Changmin answers without looking at him, gaze permanently fixed on the flowers lining your tombstone. People have already started dissipating now that the funeral is over, hushed abstract murmurs filling the void air that pulsates with the sound of Sunwoo’s pounding heartbeat.
“She loved you, though she never told you. She said she’d rather die than get rejected,” your brother continues though his voice is trembling, now hiding the hint of tears he desperately tries to hold in.
It feels like ice cold water has suddenly been dumped down Sunwoo’s back. It takes a moment for him to find the courage to ask:
“Why now?”
Changmin is silent for a moment longer, long enough that Sunwoo has the time to glance over his friend’s features, to notice the swelling of his eyes and the downward tug of his mouth, the pallor of his skin.
“That’s what she would’ve wanted.”
Idiot, Sunwoo thinks. What a big fucking idiot.
Maybe if you’d told him, he wouldn’t have spent his days telling you about the girls he’d loved back then.
Maybe if you’d told him, he wouldn’t have had to look so far for the girl of his dreams.
Maybe if you’d told him, he would’ve thought through time to change his heart in an attempt to make it yours.
Maybe if you’d told him, you wouldn’t have left him behind so soon.
You yawn and stretch out all of your limbs, willing yourself to stay awake for just a little while longer. When your phone finally vibrates against your sternum you sit up and clear your throat before answering.
"Sunwoo," you say his name with a smile, closing your eyes as if without your sight you could hear him better.
He says your name in that low lazy way that you love.
"Are you still at the gym?" You ask, leaning back against the headboard.
"Mm," he hums his affirmation. "We just took a break for dinner."
"You didn't call me instead of eating did you?"
"I ate enough, don't worry."
He tells you about the stunt the choreographers have Jaehyun doing, and about the solo they gave Changmin. It sounds like it's going to be a legendary stage.
As he's speaking, you stifle another yawn.
"I should let you go," he sighs.
"No," you pout, eyes opening. "I miss hearing your voice."
"Yeah, same. But our break will be over soon and you need to sleep."
You yawn for the third time and he laughs at you. You mumble at him to shut up, but you swear you can hear him grinning on the other end of the line.
"I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"
You agree and say, "Be safe. Have fun. Get as much rest as you can..."
"I will. Love you."
And that was the first time he'd ever said it. For a heartbeat you were quiet, unsure if he really said it.
"Love you too," you smiled, realizing it was very true.
Lingerie/stockings - l o v e s them so much. Red or white is his favourite on you. Will instantly get hard if you surprise him with a new set. Or if you wear thigh highs with a skirt.
Pain kink - this is only a slight kink, giving. Likes spanking; hair pulling; biting.
Choking - loves watching you squirm as his hand wrap around your throat. Groans when he feels your walls tighten around his cock.
Oral - both giving and receiving. Could spend hours in between your legs if you really wanted. When it comes to blowjobs he loves making you stick your tongue out showing him his cum before he makes you swallow it.
Praising/degradation- prefers praising, Will only use degradation if it’s mixed with some sort of praise.
Jealous sex - not really a kink but it happens a lot. I feel like he’s the most possessive out of the boyz and it shows. Will have hot; angry; jealous sex at least 3 times in a week.
Somno - with consent only, he gets really needy first thing in the morning.
Anal - likes it just as much as fucking your pussy.
Marking kink - hickeys; scratching; spanking; you name it. He’s possessive and likes to make sure everyone knows you’re his.
Barebacking - loves taking you raw. And loves flooding your holes with his cum. His own special way of marking his territory.
favourite position - he likes to change it up. Will do multiple different ones but doggy or reverse cowgirl is his top two.
Aftercare - very soft and gentle, showers you in praises and kisses. Literally treats you like you’re a princess.
