Lips ACHE as they chase their way along Beverly’s jaw. It’s SWEET, however fleeting - it’s not what she’s done but what she says that causes the blonde to STOP. What? She’s WRONG and for some reason, Felicia feels like she’s just been SHOT. “Nothing... has to change today,” words are stiff in the back of a stale tasting mouth. The Cat pulled herself out of reach. Not out of disbelief that someone would FALL INLOVE with her, but that Beverly WOULD when she KNEW just how rotten to the core Felicia was. Don’t be stupid, Red. “You didn’t mean to say ‘I love you’”
(My response to the wonderful @thatdamnokie / @the-roanoke-society and her earth-shattering creation Ashes, Ashes ) Warnings for Infinity War spoilers, proceed with caution.
“What are you thinking?” Ellie caught Charlie’s stare through the mirror. She smiled a little as he realized what he was doing.
“Oh, uh, nothing, just a little distracted.” Charlie tried to clear his mind. ‘Just thinking about you,’ he mused. Though not in a lighthearted way. In a ‘I’ve got a thousand-pound weight on my shoulders’ way.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” she teased, running her fingers through her hair. He put on a brave face before getting up to wrap his arms around her. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” He buried his face in her hair, still wet from the shower. It was cold, refreshing. “Don’t worry about me so much.” Even as he said it his chest ached. ‘I want the world for you,’ he wanted to say. ‘Even if I’m not in it. This isn’t enough. I’m not enough.’
But now wasn’t the time. Besides, she had work to tend to. He knew better than to bring it up now. Or at all. He made an effort to push it away, back down where it came from.
A gentle kiss. That was better. Hands pulling at the cotton shirt—
“Charlie, I’ve got to go downstairs—”
Ellie’s phone gave off a strange noise. She picked it up immediately, all amusement and blush fading quickly, replaced with a serious expression. “This isn’t normal, some sort of strange energy burst—” She stopped speaking abruptly, the phone falling to the floor as she looked up at him in confusion. “I don’t—Charlie, I think something’s happened—I need to get downstairs,” she pleaded.
He caught her mid-fall, quickly sinking down to the floor to attempt to stabilize her, hands going to her face. “Ellie? Ellie...”
Ellie’s mind was spinning, but the panic in his eyes gave her something to focus on. This was bad. She wasn’t going to make it out of this. And the man holding her wasn’t the most emotionally stable person. He needed to keep calm. They would figure out something. He was smart, and strong. Everyone would need him at his best.
“What—what is this? What’s happening?”
No. No, no, no. She could see the terror in his eyes. The hurt. Coming back up again. He didn’t need this. He didn’t deserve to see something like this. She couldn’t be bothered to check on herself. She had done all she could. It was beyond her control. She needed to try to calm him down.
“It’s okay…” Every word was a struggle. Her mouth was horribly dry. “It’s going to be okay…” She could see that it wasn’t.
There were too many things she needed to make sure he understood. That she wasn’t the key to his stability, his happiness. Clearly she’d failed that. Too much time spent being selfish, enjoying him. Less time preparing him for a shock like this. She wanted to tell him she was sorry, right then, but he wouldn’t understand why. And there wasn’t time. She couldn’t waste these words.
She knew it was over when both of his hands on either side of her face felt the same. Cold. She couldn’t tell them apart anymore. She couldn’t feel him.
She was desperate. “I love you, Charlie.” Silence. Stillness. Nothing.
His lip quivered as he looked down in front of him, at the ash on his hands. It was falling out of the metal crevices with each movement of the bionic arm. He would’ve gasped out loud if there wasn’t already a huge lump in his throat. He felt sick and furious all at once. The kind of sick where you don’t think you’ll survive the next five minutes. Where you feel like screaming. Destroying everything in sight. He would have. And it would’ve felt good to make the outside match what was going on within.
But he couldn’t move. He could barely breathe.
He scooped up as much of it in his arms as he could, not knowing what he would possibly do with it, but this was Ellie, his Ellie, and surely someone could do something to bring her back to him. He grabbed Sam’s tank and unceremoniously dumped the creature out on the bed before frantically sweeping the remains into the glass tank. He shook his arm out over the tank before realizing he was covered in it, sobs pouring out as he frantically wiped at his arms, leaving a few deep scratches from the metal in his haste and disorientation.
He didn’t know who else to go to.
“LILITH!” He shouted, cradling the tank in his arms, voice cracking at the force. Seconds later he realized he was not unique in his loss, standing there in the hallway. A hush fell over the manor, everyone inside completely blindsided.
He needed to call Morgan, and Merlin, let them know. He needed to tell them she was so brave. He’d have to tell them that her last act was yet another attempt by her to be entirely selfless. He didn’t deserve her concern for his well-being. She was the one disintegrating in his arms and she’s telling him he would be okay.
His mind was shattered.
“H-how’s…” Charlie couldn’t say it. He kind of knew. It seemed just about everyone had been split apart, right down the middle.
He could feel it burning at his shoulder, at his throat. Had he not been enough on his own? Not enough of a man to be taken in her place. It was him or her, and she was the more valuable resource, a complete offering.
He felt like walking into the ocean and not coming back.
“I’m sorry, man,” Eggsy didn’t sound like he could breathe. “I can’t talk—Fuck.” The line went silent.
At the sound of Merlin’s voice, Charlie’s whole composure fell apart. “M-Morgan...?”
“Remember your training, boy!” Merlin hissed, trying to disguise his own anguish. Hiding behind the discipline and structure of Kingsman. “You’re gonna do her—them no good actin’ like tha’ you hear me?” He was trying to convince himself too.
Morgan was already on the flip side of things trying to sort out this mess, he had to believe that. Ellie too. And Harry. Everyone. They’d sort it out. Morgan would be the rock she always was. Braver than him. Stronger than him.
“Now what’re you gonna do?”
Merlin heard a great deal of sniffling and groaning before absolute silence.
A sigh. “Regroup. Organize. See what we can figure out here, with the equipment and everything.” Ellie’s area of expertise. But no one needed any sort of knowledge to feel what just happened all over.
“That’s right. Keep us informed.” Before he ended the call, Charlie pretended not to hear the breakdown on the other end.
Charlie studied his phone before the screen lit up, Ellie’s accusatory expression filling the screen, slightly blurred from his tears. Before he could smash it to pieces, the phone died. Suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to see her face again, he crawled along the floor to the outlet, reaching desperately for the cord.
Before he could plug it in, the phone’s backlight came on and it began rebooting. Instead of the familiar apple logo, there was only a bright infinity symbol on the screen.
i told myself last month that it was time to get on bc because cramps are getting worse every time and are now interfering with my daily life, at least for the first two days
and then as soon as it was over i COMPLETELY FORGOT to go to a doctor until today when i had the obligatory period dream and then woke up and once again have terrible cramps
