rise up, train an army of bees

dani | older than i ever dreamed | ace | agender | aromantic

[thephloxbayou]

[hymnsofheresy]

have y’all ever had communion bread that was just so….nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ?

[hymnsofheresy]

my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high

[missweber]

Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread. This led to the memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest, who had not seen the bread until that moment, declaring, “This - except for the raisins - is the Body of Christ.”

[shiraglassman]

EXCEPT FOR THE RAISINS omg

[pastel-lavender]

Raisins are just dried grapes though, and wine is his blood so really its like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus

[biglawbear]

like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus

[thyrell]

no cops at pride only lizard in security vest

[thyrell]

[izzibu]

Good to see the situation well monitored.

[owlmylove]

PRO TIP: instead of thinking “i should be healthier/more organized/etc,” change your phrasing to “i’d like to become healthier” or “i’d like to learn to be more organized.” stop paralyzing urself with guilt for what you aren’t & start focusing on what you can be

[dankmemeuniversity]

[trannypilledfaggotmaxing-deacti]

Sexy what happens if you drink shampoo

[nokogiriyama]

sexy red tree frog

[aromoji]

sexy boston university tour

[pollyjean]

why can’t MY life be a 50k slow burn friends to lovers fic

[nerdgul]

Whos to say it isnt. u wouldnt even notice till chapter 17

[lunasong365]

after the G7 conference, they should hold a C major conference. Then everything will be resolved.

[cargopantsman]

there are certain moments when google translate fails SPECTACULARLY

[edderkopper]

To be fair, I would also like to be less fucked by robbery, anger, and rich people. Especially the latter. And I would be kinda intimidated by someone chanting that.

[gifsofprocesses]

A mechanical pasta cutter in action. If you like this you might also enjoy seeing 

[seelvioberlusconee]

Fuck I love seeing

[presbyteriansideblog]

[xubbs]

I could be wrong but what’s interesting to me personally is that Elijah wasnt just mad, he was scared for his life cuz there was a queen who wanted him dead so Elijah ran and told God he wanted to die because he was in such anguish

But God is so good and He always knows what we need!

[archer-bro]

Notice too that he didn’t even give Elijah some encouraging words to comfort him.  He just told him to eat.  Sometimes just being there and making sure someone gets through their anguish is enough.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

AND THUS SPOKE THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE

“Why don’t you have a some food and maybe you’ll feel better.“

[goatyellsateverything]

And God said, “Have a Snickers.”

[xphilosoraptorx]

And Elijah inquired of the Lord, asking “Why?” and the Lord replied, “Because thou doth lament greatly when thou art hungry”.

Thus Elijah took and he ate of the confection, finding it to be exceedingly satisfying.

The Lord then asked, “Art thou better?”, and Elijah replied, “Indeed Lord, I am better”. Then the Lord further advised Elijah, saying unto him, “Thou art not thineself when thou art hungry”.

[sighinastorm]

quality religious jokes, people

[wulferson]

@wingedarrows

[woodelf68]

The pictures make the post. Started laughing out loud so hard.

[thegreenpea]

@joannaharp

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

i guessed the snickers bit before i read it 

[abysmallylost23]

my whole face is twitching trying not to laugh

@knownasemrys @yourvampiricfriend @still-potassium-sulfate @sonyaliloquy

[simonbitdiddle]

Meanwhile you’ve got Greek and Roman Gods being Hangry and Horny on Main constantly.        

[r-ambien]

[illicitbehaviour]

you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

[outofcontextdiscord]

[toinfinityandbeyonce-deactivate]

RECLAIMING MY TIME 

[finsngils-deactivated20210213]

This. Is. Drag.

[pussypotion-deactivated20250121]

Girlllllll

[profeminist]

“If your partner is non-binary you got a joyfriend”  

- ThatBoyYouLike

[bananyastand]

Found these sheets for $5 at Goodwill and thought I’d give these cowboys something to say.

[deadpanwalking]

@thebridgesandtunnels

[jvlianbashir]

there is no validation quite like when people really enjoy something you cooked

[jvlianbashir]

winning the nobel prize <<< bringing home a completely empty container from a social function