DWC: “just don’t fuck it up.” :-D
Garrett Hawke x Fenris, for @dadrunkwriting
The first thing Garrett is aware of as he blearily opens his eyes and rouses is that he is not alone. After the battle with the Arishok, much of Kirkwall in flames or scrambling to recover, their unlikely little band of misfits had come back to the mansion rather than test their luck with whether or not the Hanged Man would still be standing, much less open for business. The wine cellar in the Hawke household was always stocked for such occasions they all gathered together, regardless of how frequent or rarely such things might occur. Fleetingly, he thinks of Bethany, of Carver, and misses them, though the latter would likely have said the wine was too weak and just given him the stink-eye all evening for once again stealing what might somehow have been his glory. Some things it seems, never change. Mother wouldn’t have wanted to intrude, but he hopes, she’s with father at the Maker’s side and that they might be proud of him.
The celebration, he recalls, did go on for some hours, and though perhaps not as rowdy as their evenings of Wicked Grace, the relief had been palpable in all of them. Some more than others, it seems, Garrett thinks sitting up a little to curiously study the tattooed elf who lies, still sleeping, sprawled across the covers beside him, one arm outstretched across his stomach, though whether to anchor him there or to reassure himself of the other’s continued presence, Garrett cannot be sure.
He stirs, despite Hawke’s best attempts to stay still, to let him rest a little longer. Immediately Fenris’ hand flexes tightening his grip on the mage as he sits up.
“Garrett,” the white-haired head burrowed into the bed grumbles.
He doesn’t use his first name much. He’s never particularly cared for it, and Hawke suits him just fine. But he finds he doesn’t mind so much when Fenris sometimes uses it. Rather, he finds a slight pleasure in the idea this is something shared between them. Besides the elf, only his m- his sisters use his first name with any regularity, and Carver generally preferring to avoid addressing his elder brother at all, a task made easier now he’s joined the Wardens.
Fenris’ voice is a little rougher than usual with sleep and disuse, and the mage thinks he sounds a bit… annoyed, perhaps because he woke him? But it’s good to hear, nevertheless. And waking up beside him? Well, he’s dreamt of such a thing plenty of times, but never truly expected it after what had transpired between them.
Their first and only night together had been… he struggles to come up with a suitable description that doesn’t sound like something out of one of those terrible romance serials his mother and sisters filled a shelf of the library with. Perhaps it’s foolish and he’s been waiting for nothing, but he can’t seem to help it, can’t bring himself to want or even think about anyone else. What began as his usual and casual flirting, his admiration of the other man’s skill has clearly long since become something else, something considerably more significant. He wants to wake up next to Fenris every day for the rest of the time the two of them have left.
But that can’t possibly be a welcome sentiment. Can it, the mage wonders, watching as Fenris stretches, back popping a little with the effort, and snuggles closer into his companion’s larger body even as he slowly begins to rouse and become more aware of his surroundings. Large green eyes blink back sleep and slowly come into focus on him, he doesn’t leap backwards, makes no efforts to pull away from him, but there is something uncharacteristically uncertain, vulnerable in his gaze that makes Garrett want nothing more than to gather him up in his arms and hold him as tight as is possible without the gesture becoming uncomfortable.
“I- I should go,” Fenris offers softly, ducking his head to avoid the mage’s scrutiny.
“You don’t have to,” Garrett replies cautiously, even as every bone in his body seems to scream for him to employ a more forceful and convincing argument. Something, anything to stop him all but fleeing his bed again.
“The others-” the elf begins.
“Will be fine,” Garrett interrupts confidently, trusting Sonja and Varric to see to them all either returning home or entertaining them in his absence. “I was injured yesterday-”
“You very nearly died yesterday,” Fenris growls, correcting him with a scowl.
“Exactly,” he nods, looking far too pleased about this than he has any right to be. “You’re helping to look after me,” Garrett continues, doing his best to adopt his usual lighthearted tone and smile about the whole thing. Don’t come on too strong, or too desperate, he scolds himself internally. He’s still here. Don’t give him a reason not to be. A reason to run. Don’t fuck this up. It seems to work, or if Fenris has noticed he isn’t in fact as calm or amused as he pretends, the elf doesn’t bother to call him on it, offering up a small chuckle of his own.
“You- You would like me to stay,” Fenris checks, cautiously after a moment.
Maker, yes. “Yes,” Garrett confirms before he can stop himself or think better of it. “Please,” he adds a bit softer.
“Then I remain at your side,” Fenris nods decisively, with the slightest hint of a smile.