Garrett McNeil is the same as Ricky Potts in the sense that it would have been great disabled rep if they had gOTTEN A DISABLED ACTOR TO PLAY THEM GOD BLESS-
Jonah wakes up with a headache like he’s got a hangover. He groans, putting his arm over his eyes as the dim light of his bedroom tries to burn out his retinas. Even with all of his thickest curtains closed and fastened together, the sunlight is still too harsh. Must be the way it’s reflecting off the snow.
He falls out of bed more so than gets out of bed, and lays on the floor for a moment. He reaches up to his nightstand and manages to pull down his phone, which bonks him on the temple on it’s way down. That gets him to wake up, with a shout and a dash of fight-or-flight response.
He sighs, rubbing his eyes. He doesn’t even feel very rested! Granted, he did stay up most of the night listening to a new podcast he discovered... fascinating stuff, wonderful deep-dives into mythologies and legends from all over the world. Something a little lighter to relax to than his usual political commentary go-tos.
He stands up, and scrolls through his playlist until he finds a good morning podcast. He heads into the bathroom, ready to grapple with his hair to get it nice and presentable-
He looks into the mirror and freezes up. His hair is perfect. Exactly how he always strives to get it to look, and always falls just one stray strand short of. But now? Not a flyaway in sight.
“I could have sworn I took a shower,” he mumbles to himself. Maybe he just forgot to use shampoo? No, he would never. Maybe too much conditioner, then. But he’s always so careful not to overuse...
“I guess it saves time,” he says aloud. “No looking a gift horse in the mouth.” He picks up his toothbrush and gets to scrubbing, but pauses when he feels something stringy in his mouth.
He spits out the toothpaste foam, expecting a hair.
Instead, it’s a scraping of plastic from his toothbrush, and several bristles.
He stares for a moment, and then opens his mouth. Does he have something completely alarming stuck in his teeth? Did he somehow eat something metal?
... No, not as far as he can see. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Absolutely nothing. Completely fine.
On an unrelated note, the two little cuts in his lower lip that are perfectly aligned with his canines are starting to sting from the mint, so he hurries up and finishes brushing his teeth.
The sun blinds him as he drives to work, and he has to manage mostly by listening to the traffic around him (which is absurdly loud today, he can hear it with his windows rolled up).
And the sunlight is harsh on his skin, too. Does he need to invest in better sunscreen? Maybe he should revisit that article he read about SPF effectiveness and how to choose the best one...
He gets into the parking lot and parks his car. He opens the door, and promptly slams it shut again with a yelp. His hands didn’t just feel burnt, it did burn!
Definitely needs to up his SPF! And research sudden sunlight sensitivity... his hand is bright pink.
He sits in the car for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. And then there’s a knock on his window. He startles, but relaxes when he sees it’s just Glenn. He rolls his window down just a bit. “Um, hi. Good-good morning, I mean.”
“Heyyyy, Jonah,” Glenn says with a smile. “So, um, I noticed you’re stuck in your car?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, no, I just um. Well you see I-I, um-”
“Need a hand?” Glenn’s smile is a bit strained, for some reason. “Because of the sun?”
“... Well I mean if-if you’re offering then it would be... rude to say no...”
Glenn opens up an umbrella, making Jonah shout in surprise. “Where did that-”
“Come on in under the shade!”
Jonah hesitates a moment, put off by Glenn’s... odd, energy. But he can’t stay in his car forever, so he gets out and walks in with Glenn under the safety of the umbrella.
“Thanks,” he says when they get inside. “I just um, I need to update my sunscreen, you know? And I just didn’t want to risk... my skin...”
“No, no, I completely get it,” Glenn assures. “The warm, life-giving rays of the sun can be very harsh sometimes!”
“... Y-yeah. Yeah.”
“Hey, um, Jerusha and I got you a gift, actually. She was so upset by the whole attack thing yesterday-”
“Oh, you guys didn't have to get me something-”
“Well, we wanted to, so um, here!”
Glenn hands Jonah a very, very wide-brimmed hat. There’s a little bat needle-pointed onto the sides.
“Oh! Wow! Um, it’s... so big!”
“Maybe it’ll help until you update your sunscreen?” Glenn sounds hopeful. Too hopeful for Jonah to turn down. And... it would be functional, at least...
“Yes! Yes, I think this’ll be great for that, um, thank you! Thank you both, send Jerusha my-my thanks. For this. I can um, see she put some effort into customizing it! Just-just out of curiosity... why a bat?”
“Oh, well um, because of your situation.”
“... Situation, I don’t-”
“You know. The reason you burned?”
“... I still don’t understand-”
“HEYYYY, GUYS!” Amy butts in quite enthusiastically. “How’s it going this morning?”
“Oh, good!” Glenn says with a smile and a nod. “I was just giving Jonah this hat Jerusha made for him, because of his whole condition about being a vam-”
“OH HEY, Glenn, I actually really need your help with something!”
“Really?”
“Yes! Come over here, with me, to... softlines!”
“Oh, okay. I’ll talk with you later, Jonah!”
“Okay! Buh-”
Amy drags Glenn away, leaving Jonah with his hand up in an unfinished wave.
“... Bye. I-I was saying... bye.”
Jonah looks at the hat, and heads off to the breakroom.
“Well I, I did just get new ultra-soft shoes, very comfortable but I’m not sure about the long-term arch support... but um, what do I have?”
“Um... standards, for your fashion. Sometimes you have them, sometimes you don’t... usually only when you’re chasing, after... someone to flirt with.”
“Oh. ... You-you thought I was trying to flirt with that woman, last night?”
Cheyenne shrugs. “You did literally chase her into the parking lot.”
“I-I guess I did. But I wasn’t attracted to her I mean, I wasn’t attracted to any customers yesterday, even though there were a few good looking ones, that made me laugh... but-but I’m not- I mean, I wasn’t flirting with anyone-”
Jonah babbles on for a good five minutes before Glenn finally comes in and starts the meeting.
Jonah sighs and rubs his eyes as he mops up a puddle of... it’s either slushie vomit or watered-down blood (though he’s leaning towards slushie vomit, something in him just says it definitely isn’t blood).
He leans against the mop and closes his eyes for a moment. So tired... he felt okay this morning, but as the day creeps on he feels less and less awake...
“Excuse me?”
Jonah startles, yelping and dropping the mop. The customer jumps back as the mop drops.
“I am so sorry!” Jonah exclaims. “I um, I-I think I feel asleep, um, how can I-”
Jonah pauses, at a loss for words.
The customer, a man around Jonah’s age, looks concerned. “You alright, man?”
“Huh?” Jonah’s face feels hot (the first bit of warmth he’s felt in two days). “Oh, um, I-I just, that was very unprofessional of me.”
The customer shrugs. “It’s a Cloud 9, professional isn’t really expected.”
Jonah chuckles. He clears his throat. “So, um, how can-can I help you?”
“I was looking for the recycled paper towels?”
“Oh, yeah, um... let me help you find those. They’re only half recycled, though.”
“I know. But you do what you can on a budget, right?”
“Right, yeah,” Jonah laughs. He can’t stop looking at the guy’s face... why does he feel all jittery?
“Um, here we are. The closest Cloud 9 gets to activism.” Jonah sticks his hands in his pockets and rocks on his heels. His mouth feels dry. Why is his mouth so dry? He licks his lips quickly while the customer isn’t looking.
“Better than I’ve been doing lately. Haven’t done a protest in months.”
“What kind of protests do you go to?” Why did he say that? He’s going to embarrass himself, oh no-
“Mostly wage labor ones, workers rights kind of things. Trying to get a union going at my job.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, well, I know unions don’t have a great reputation in a lot of places but-”
“No! I mean uh, I love unions! I-I’ve been wanting one here since I started working! Just uh, don’t tell my boss that, hah.”
The customer smiles at Jonah, and Jonah wonders if the floor actually fell out from under him or if that’s all in his head.
“Well, thanks for helping me find this. Maybe we can talk about helping each other’s unions efforts if I see you again.”
“Yeah!” Jonah flashes a bright smile. “Sure! Sounds-sounds great! Um was really nice to meet you!”
The customer smiles again and walks away, and Jonah needs to lean against the isle.
He lets out a heavy breath, wondering what the hell is going on and what he is feeling. He looks down the isle to see if anyone is watching him.
Mateo, Cheyenne, Marcus, and Dina are all staring.
Jonah quickly walks away, shame burning his cheeks. So they noticed something, too.
“-looked like he was about to eat him alive-”
He’s too busy being completely embarrassed by hearing them whisper that to wonder how he just heard it from three isles away.
Jonah wakes up with a start as a cart rolls right over his leg. He shouts in pain and surprise, and then sighs at himself.
He peels the glue trap off of his face with a grimace. Cleaning the rat traps is a terrible time for his sudden and new case of what seems to be narcolepsy to strike. He sits up and rolls up his pant leg, expecting something nasty to greet him based on the crack he heard.
... Nothing. He frowns, and touches his leg. It doesn’t even sting.
“How did-”
“Jonah?”
Jonah looks up at Amy’s voice. She’s standing over him with a clipboard. “Oh, um... hi.”
“Hey. ... Why are you on the floor?”
“I was uh, cleaning the rat traps. And I... maybe fell asleep.”
“In the middle of the day?”
“... Yes...”
“Okay then. ... So um, I just... wanted to check in, for a minute. How’s it been going with customers?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just mean, have there been any... notable interactions, maybe, to throw an idea out there,” Amy says in her ‘I’m-hiding-the-real-reason-for-asking-this’ voice.
Jonah’s cheeks burn, and he’s sure he’s blushing. “They told you about that?”
“I... might’ve heard some gossip.”
“It-it was nothing, Amy. Really.”
“Are you sure? They said you keep looking at his neck-”
"Well I mean, he had a nice neck I-I guess but I was more looking at his face-”
“And that you licked your lips at him?”
“That-! My mouth was dry, and-and you know I hate chapped lips!”
“... And the hovering over him?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say hovering, more like just watching and... admiring... but that-that’s normal! I’ve been doing that since high school! A good ally normalizes these things, and-and when straight men, yeah, can admire other men in a-a completely! Normal way! Then it um, it helps... break down! The stereotypes!”
Amy looks... perplexed. She shakes her head. “Wait, what are we-”
“I mean, everyone does it, too! Like-like you! I’m sure you’ve looked at-at other woman, and admired their appearance, without feeling feelings for them, right?”
“Well, I guess, but- wait, Jonah, did you-”
“I mean we all wonder in college, right? But I don’t like, I mean there’s nothing wrong with liking both I just- I don’t, I wondered but I never-”
“Okay, um, this isn’t what I came over here to talk to you about-”
“Maybe there was a moment or two where I thought it might’ve been a thing but I-I never acted and if I did like both I would have acted on that, I think-”
“Okay! Um, you’re working through something right now, that is, not what I thought you were working through, so um, I’ll just check up on you later...”
Amy backs away as Jonah keeps recounting half-baked thoughts and unfinished sentences about his time in college and his roommates one friend who maybe had the best hair Jonah’s ever seen but their friendly hair-war was not flirting he swears...
Jonah doesn’t chew the carrot, just rolls it in his teeth as he stares at the wall, lost in thought.
“... Not hungry for you lunch?” Sandra asks tentatively.
Jonah shakes his head, only half-hearing her.
“... Are you hungry for something else? Like... a customer?”
Jonah stops, and pulls the carrot out of his mouth. “You heard about that too?”
Sandra’s eyes widen, and she shakes her head.
“You did! Did- does everyone know about that?”
“Well, it-it’s been sort of, floating around-”
Jonah groans, putting his head in his hands.
“... So um... are you?”
“What? No! No, I am not hungry for him, that’s objectifying. Not that I- I mean, I’m a straight man, I can’t, objectify another man, because that implies attraction. ... Unless I’m playing into toxic masculinity stereotypes by believing that...”
“I don’t think you have to worry about falling into masculinity stereotypes,” Carol pipes up from another table.
Jonah looks at her, annoyed. Her eyes widen and she looks away.
Jonah puts his head back into his hands. “This is a nightmare...”
Jonah sighs, slumping over onto the customer service counter. Garrett just looks at him, waiting for whatever Jonah has in store.
“... It normal for straight guys to admire other straight guys appearances, right?”
Garrett blinks. “Wow, just some casual conversation, huh?”
“Just- I mean, I know people are talking about-”
“You eyeing up that dude earlier like he was a steak?”
“... Yeah. That.”
“Dude, I don’t think this is the issue you should be focused on right now.”
“I know, I know! I’m in my thirties, I should have this figured out and be focusing on more important things-”
“Not what I meant, actually, I meant the superpowers-”
“-but I don’t know, I’ve never really had anyone point it out before! And-and now I can’t stop thinking like, am I? Attracted?”
“You know there’s nothing wrong if you are, right?”
“Yes, I do, I’ve been to a bunch of rallies and stuff.”
“Did you oogle dudes at those rallies?”
“NO! ... I mean I guess I observed and-and appreciated-”
“Yeah, you might just be on the gay spectrum, dude. I don’t know what else to tell you. Except that, uh, you just accidentally slapped my shoulder and you’re as cold as a bag of ice, so maybe that should be your crisis of the day.”
Jonah is staring off into space, rubbing his arm. It doesn’t seem like he heard Garrett at all. Garrett just sighs, and rolls away.
Jonah stays there, contemplating, for quite a while.
Jonah jerks awake. Again. God, why can’t he stay awake? ... Probably because he stayed up all night.
“No, Cheyenne.”
Jonah looks around. He peeks into the next isle, and then the next.
... Where the hell are Cheyenne and Amy? He can hear them so clearly...
“He’s like, totally oblivious to it!”
“He’ll realize it eventually, okay? It’s not some truth bomb we can just drop on him.”
“My friends drop truth bombs on me all the time, and it just brings us closer. Best bitches don’t lie to their best bitches.”
“... Right. But, it’s kind of something for him to take the time to process.”
“What if he doesn’t? He’s just gonna like, wander around forever making excuses and being all nervous and confused.”
“Well... then we’ll give him a push. But for now let’s just... give him some space. Let him come to terms with it on his own.”
Jonah is startled out of his accidental eavesdropping by hearing himself sniffle. He quickly wipes his eyes, sticks his hands in his pockets, and hurries away. He still doesn’t know how he heard them, maybe some kind of really weird echo or sound tunnel. So he goes to the other side of the store entirely and finds the chattiest customer he can.
He can feel Dina and Mateo staring at him as he restocks softlines. They whisper to each other, and he sighs and hangs his head. “You know, it makes it worse when you talk behind my back.”
Mateo yelps a little. He clears his throat and quickly composes himself. “Sorry. Uh, we were just talking about-”
“Yeah, no, I know. I’m... aware, okay? And I just would like to stop hearing about it for now, please.”
Mateo looks taken aback by the tiredness in Jonah’s voice, the... weary tone. Dina, however...
“Yeah, well, not exactly something to brush under the rug.”
“Why do you even care? It’s a me problem, okay?”
“Really? You think this doesn’t impact everyone?”
“How! Would it even do that?!”
“Well, let’s see! It made Mateo afraid, it made Amy all somber and worried about you, it made Glenn cry even more than usual-”
“It did?”
“He started a trust fund for your soul.”
“... Oh.”
Dina stops, her frown slowly becoming more confused. “You... didn’t realize that would happen?”
“... I don’t know, I guess I thought... thought he’d be more open-minded.”
“Glenn?”
Jonah takes a deep breath. Ugh, why’d it make his chest hurt? Why do his lungs feel like they don’t want the air?
The next thing he knows he’s done with softlines (it felt like he got done in the blink of an eye) and walking away. He swallows down the lump in his throat, and the urge to comfort eat. God, he’s craving a snack now. Well, he has all day, but he’s been... a little distracted.
“Excuse me? Hello? Hey!”
Jonah looks up at the customer, still feeling drained and empty.
“Finally, god. How useless do they let you people be around here? I’m looking for the shock collars, my dog keeps licking me when I tell him not to.”
“... That’s a really, really shitty thing to do to your dog.” Jonah doesn’t really mean to say it, but he’s just sort of on autopilot now.
For some reason, the customer doesn’t reply. Just stiffens.
“Follow me. I’ll sort you right out.” Jonah thinks he smiles at them. But he can’t be sure, because at that moment he blacks out.
Jonah shrugs his coat on, not looking anyone else in the eye as they all file out to clock out.
He waits until the very end, and clocks out last. Maybe he can avoid them all by waiting long enough?
Ugh, he can’t. He feels restless. Looking like another sleepless night already. Two in a row, great. Maybe that’s why he had that blackout. He still isn’t sure where the customer went, nor how he ended up in the No-Go zone of the Gardening Section...
Whatever. They were a jerk, anyway. Maybe he talked some sense into them? He did that during a blackout yesterday. Maybe it’s stress, then?
He keeps his head down as he thinks about it (trying to avoid some other, more introspective thoughts) and walks out.
He lifts his head as he exits the breakroom to find everyone standing in a group, smiling softly.
“Um... what’s going on?” He claps his hands behind his back. Please don’t let this be more teas-
“We know we’ve made you uncomfortable today,” Mateo pipes up. “And after talking to Garrett about your guys’s conversation, we realized we had the totally wrong idea about everything.”
Glenn steps forward and hugs Jonah. “I accept you no matter what,” he says firmly. “I would never start a fund to save your soul for being gay, that was a complete misunderstanding! You like whoever you like, Jonah!”
“And I didn’t mean to badger you,” Dina admits with her shoulder a little sunk. “I didn’t quite understand what you were going through in your head, and I made some assumptions. Wrong ones.”
“We all care about you, Jonah,” Amy says, prying Glenn off of the poor man. “Okay? We just want you to know that. Today we were being really, really shitty. But it won’t happen again.”
For the second time today, Jonah isn’t aware he’s crying until he hears himself sniffle.
“I just- I feel really, really stupid,” he admits, wiping his eyes with his palms. He laughs, not quite bitterly, but not happy. “I mean, I’m in my thirties. I-I had... so many obvious moments where I should have realized! How... oblivious, am I?”
There’s a bit of an awkward air to the group after that comment. But Amy hugs Jonah, and he feels a little... spark, in his chest. It’s nice.
His chest has felt pretty heavy and empty all day.
“Everyone comes to terms with stuff at their own pace,” Amy says. “I lived in an unhappy marriage for years because I couldn’t accept the obvious. What matters is that you got to this point of realization, okay?”
Jonah hugs back. He thinks he feels Amy shiver, but he brushes past it. They pull apart, and Jonah sniffs and wipes his eyes again.
“And I um. I-I don’t think I’m... fully, gay,” he says slowly. He hesitates, mouth open, the words stuck. “I think... I think I’m Bi.”
There’s a moment of silence. He smiles a little, and stands a bit straighter. That feels... really right. “I think I’m Bi,” he repeats.
Sandra claps for a second, but no-one joins in. She lowers her hands slowly.
“Wow! Hah! That feels- wow! God, that feels good! Um,, what-what now, though?”
Garrett shrugs. “Flirt with some dudes? Some people in-between dudes and chicks? I don’t know, man, it’s your life.”
“Your long, long life,” Dina mutters to herself.
“Right! Oh, yeah, uh... that guy! From earlier! I-I think I want to see him again. Okay, uh, I’m going to go home, and-and maybe research some local protests he might be at-”
Everyone groans a little.
“Protester Jonah is the preachiest Jonah,” Garrett says, shaking his head.
“Can he still be preachy? Wouldn’t that hurt?” Cheyenne whispers to Glenn.
Glenn shrugs. “I’ll ask Pastor Craig,” he whispers back.
Jonah doesn’t even notice. “Okay! I’m going to head home! I kinda feel like, I don’t know, like this is a whole new chapter in my life! Um, how do we- I mean how do- do we do a group hug, or-or maybe a high-five-”
“Or we just head home.”
“Yeah, no, Garrett’s right, head home. Let’s all head home!”
They all head out to their cars. Jonah gets into his, plops down into the drivers seat, and grins.
What a freeing realization! He doesn’t know how he missed it, it was all so obvious!
Well, as far as he knows, there’s no other huge life-revelations waiting for him. He’s figured it all out, finally.
He starts driving home, humming along with the radio as the car next to him keeps pace, despite being in the faster lane. He never understands why people do that when the roads are empty. He chuckles to himself. Maybe he’ll realize that Life Mystery tomorrow.
What he doesn’t realize, neither when he gets home nor when he wakes the next morning, is that he never turned his own radio on.
