Routine trip, routine learning opportunity - more of the same, more of the anxiety inducing same. She takes her time outside of the funeral home to light a cigarette, finish smoking it as a way to calm her nerves. It really doesn't - doesn't ever, if she's being honest - but the moment alone outside before stepping in does help.
She brushes her hands down over her dress and tries to ignore the fluttering in her chest. Laure had said this would be a good learning opportunity so. Learning. Yes. At a fucking funeral home.
She steps in and finds someone, anyone - "I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Lal?"
She didn’t use her key. Instead she rang the doorbell to her own home, like a stranger. Because it wasn’t her home anymore, at least not after today. Most of her stuff had already been picked up by professional moving trucks, but there were a few things left. She’d debated sending her friends or her family to pick it up, but ultimately decided against it. She wanted to do this on her own, to prove to herself she was strong enough to get through this. She even dressed up in her favourite jeans to try and make herself feel better. It didn’t hurt that she knew they were his favourite as well. She had also done her hair and make-up to try and distract from her puffy face.
She heard him coming down the stairs in a light jog like he always did, she could picture him. She tried to shake it from her mind, but it refused to let go.
The door swung open and he stood there, staring at her. She hadn’t seen him since she left. He was usually polished, in smart trousers and fitted shirts. His stubble was always perfect, his hair the same. But now his hair was tousled like he’d just gotten out of bed, his stubble overgrown, and he was wearing sweats. He looked exhausted.
She frowned, refrained from reaching out to touch his face. Then she took a deep breath. “Hi.”
“Hey,” he said and moved out of the way. She stepped inside and he closed the door behind her. The air was thick with tension, neither knowing what to say. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweats, bringing his shoulders forward as if shielding himself.
“I’m gonna go upstairs, clear out my closet,” she said.
“Okay,” he said, and watched her jog up the stairs as she always did. He walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He readied a mug for them both, pouring in two tablespoons of her favourite instant coffee. He’d ridiculed her when he first found out. “It tastes like shit,” he’d said but she had just stuck her tongue out at him. It was the cutest thing he’d seen. Then whenever he’d slept over at her place, he’d help himself to some. Over time, he’d learn to like it. He even preferred it over the fancy stuff, though he knew it was more sentimental than anything.
When the kettle went off, he poured in the water, then added six teaspoons (yes, really) of sugar in her mug. He stirred it, then brought both with him upstairs. He found her in their bedroom, folding her clothes and putting them into boxes. He watched her for a moment, watched as she sorted her clothes into the carefully categorised boxes. He never thought he’d meet anyone else as organised as he was, but sometimes he wondered if she might actually be worse than him. Or better. Depended on how you chose to see it.
He held both of the steaming mugs in one hand, knocked on the doorframe with the other. Her head whipped up, noticing the mugs. A small smile tugged at her lips because she knew exactly what it was, and she both loved and hated him for knowing her well enough to understand it would be exactly what she’d want right now.
He stepped forward and held the mug out for her, and she accepted it with a small smile.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Of course,” he said, stood for a moment, then decided to sit down on the floor opposite her. He made sure to give her space, sitting down by the wall, leaning against it. Watched her close her eyes and sigh with happiness as she took a sip. She was so beautiful. God, what had he done.
When she opened her eyes, she caught his gazing at her with a longing look in his eyes, and she blushed. Cleared her throat. She took another sip, then put the mug down and continued clearing out her clothes from the closet. She froze when she pulled out a hoodie. Her favourite hoodie. His hoodie. She swallowed, trying to rid herself of the growing lump in her throat, but to no avail. She folded it in her lap, held it, stared at it. Should she keep it? Would it be a painful reminder of how it all crumbled, or a joyous reminder of all the good times they’d shared? She didn’t know, and so she put it aside.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and when she looked up at him she could see his eyes were glassed over. The lump in her throat grew. She tried to swallow it away again. It still wouldn’t budge. She looked away and continued to busy herself with the packing. When she was finished with the clothes, she closed the boxes and moved to the bathroom. He stayed put, watching her walk back and forth. He couldn’t help himself from remembering the first night they’d shared in this flat, the first night they’d slept in this bedroom. She had come out of the bathroom in just her knickers and one of his t-shirts. Fresh-faced and damp hair, jumping onto the bed with a grin on her face.
“Much better,” he’d said with a dopey grin, framing her face with his hands. Brought it to him and kissed her. She snorted a laugh as she pulled back and looked at him. “Please, you love it when I doll myself up and wear something tight and fancy,” she’d said.
“I do,” he’d agreed, bringing her back so he could kiss her again. Slid his hands down her sides, giving her bum a pinch, then hooking them under her thighs and lifting her to straddle on top of him. She’d looked down at him through her lashes, and his breath had hitched in his throat. He’d brushed some of her hair behind her ear, letting his thumb brush over her cheek. “I also love it when you take it all off at the end of the day. Because I love you.”
He cleared his throat, shook his head, sniffled, blinked away the tears, rubbed his eyes.
“Do you–” he cleared his throat again “–do you need any help?”
“No,” she replied from inside the bathroom. Then, “No, thank you.”
Not long after she came out, carrying a box. He got to his feet quickly, picked up two of the boxes with her clothes. She didn’t argue.
They went downstairs, he balanced the boxes and opened the door for her, then helped her over to her car. They did three rounds before her car was full, and he closed her trunk for her. Then he turned to her, his eyes locking with hers. It was clear they both wanted to say something, but neither did.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, and she covered her face with her hands.
“Please,” she whispered. “Please don’t.”
He took a deep breath and looked up at the dark sky, the sun having set hours ago. “I fucked up.”
She didn’t say anything, because there was nothing she could say. He had fucked up, badly. She knew it. He knew it.
“I–” She took a deep breath and quickly wiped away the few spilled tears. “I hate you.”
He winced as if she’d slapped him.
“I have spent countless hours, days, crying, trying to forgive you. To believe you when you said you loved me–”
“I do love you–”
“How could you?” she snapped, glaring at him. “How could you possibly love me, then go and screw some random girl?”
The tears were now flowing freely down both their faces.
“I…” He failed to answer, stumbling over his words.
“I hate you,” she cried, and he closed his eyes. “I hate you for everything you’ve put me through. For letting me open up to you, for making me love you, for making me happy. For giving you power over me.”
He looked away, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jumper.
“I wasn’t like this. I was strong, independent. Never let anyone get close enough to hurt me. But you tore down all of my walls, you let me believe I was safe, and I would give anything to be able to forgive you. To be able to move on, move past this, but–” She choked on her own words, forcing herself a take a breath to soften the sobs. He turned back to her, regret and guilt in his eyes as he stared at her.
“Do you remember what you told me, when you asked me to be your girlfriend?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Say it,” she said, her tone icy.
He winced again. “I’ll never hurt you.”
“I was stupid for believing you, but I wanted so badly for you to be the one I would be happy with. The one I could always rely on, that would always be there for me, always have my back.”
“I meant it,” he said.
“You cheated on me!” she screamed, not caring if the neighbours heard her. “You cheated, Suresh.”
“I know,” he said and walked up to her. Their chests pressed together, their faces only a few inches apart. They could feel each other’s breath on their faces. They stared at each other through teary eyes. He dared cup her face with his hands, brush away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, her hand reaching up to linger on his. Then she removed it from her face, placed her key in his palm, and took a step back. “That’s what hurts the most. I can’t forgive you. I can’t, I…” She took a deep breath. “I just can’t.”
He closed his eyes again and listened to her footsteps as she walked away. The car door opened and closed. The engine revved to life. Then she was gone.
He stepped back into the flat and closed the door behind him, leaning his forehead against it. He knitted his hands into fists, his knuckles whitening. The pain and guilt and rage built up inside his chest, and he gritted his teeth together as his fist smashed into the door, then again, and again, and again. He slipped to the floor, banging his head into the hard wood one, two, three times. Dragged a hand through his already tousled hair, not bothering to suppress his sobs. He stared up at the stairs, forced himself to climb them, stepped into the bedroom. Now his bedroom, no longer theirs. The mugs were still placed on the floor, no longer steaming. He didn’t want to remove the cup. It was, in a sad way, the last piece he had of her. Everything else was gone. Her clothes from the closet, her shampoo from the shower, her perfume from the dresser, her favourite mug from the kitchen. Her bedside table was cleared out, only his shoes occupying the hallway. He sat down, back against the bed, and picked up the mug he’d given her. She’d drank it all, as he knew she would. He held it tightly, as if he was trying to hold on to her, wishing, hoping, begging for this all to be a horrible nightmare he could wake up from. That he would find himself in bed next to her at any moment, her adorable light snoring and charming scrunched-up nose welcoming him as he woke.
But he was never going to experience that again, because he’d broken the best thing that had ever happened to him.
to the anons who have strong opinions against the use of resh— it’s one thing to say you don’t like it and another to be completely culturally ignorant. resh does not sound like rash, so learn to enunciate.
if you’d like to learn how the names are pronounced here are a few links for you: suresh & resh. so please get over yourselves and leave my friends alone. if you don’t like the nickname go elsewhere for your reads.
A/N: this is the first fic I’ve written in a long time and the first one ever for litg so I’m kinda nervous, but excited. Inspired by “I’d Have to Think About It” by Leith Ross (I also wrote this while getting ready for work so I apologize for any mistakes)
Suresh cheated. She couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth after finding that picture of the two of them. Suresh. Her boyfriend. The man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. In bed with another woman. She felt like her whole world came crashing down on her.
He had come into her life years before and whisked her away. He made all of her wildest dreams come true. All of her friends told her how lucky she was, and she felt it. She felt it every time she looked at him and had her heart swell up with nothing but love. She felt it in the electricity in their every touch, no matter how small or simple. She felt it when they would take off and travel or go on some adventure he’d planned for them. But now…she didn’t feel much of anything.
She sat there and tried to listen to what he was saying, but everything went in one ear and out the other. The love of her life cheated. The one she assumed was her soulmate, betrayed her.
They ended up breaking up. She moved out and back in with her former roommates from before she’d met Suresh.
Everyone told her she would move on and love again, and she knew it was true. She also knew, however, that she would never love anyone the way she loved Suresh. She could meet someone tomorrow who’s nice and sweet and helps her pick the pieces of her heart back together with care, but they would never know her the way Suresh did. She would never be truly happy. She would live the rest of her life being content with someone and the life they would build together. No matter what, they would never measure up. She was under the impression that we all get one soulmate in life, and Suresh was hers.
In the meantime, she was technically a free woman. As free as anyone could be when you’re heart is forever tethered to the one who shattered it. She could travel, see the sights she never got to with Suresh, have the most amazing dinners and memories with other people, drink to her hearts content, try her best to live in the moment. She knew that these are the things people do to try to fill the void, and maybe they can convince themselves that it works, and maybe it will for her too, but there will always be something gnawing at her, telling her she belonged somewhere else. With someone else.
She imagined what her life would look like without him. She would probably end up getting married. Fill their home with the sounds of the pitter patter of their children’s feet. Everyone around her would praise her for the life she built and say things along the lines of “isn’t this better than anything you imagined when you sobbed in your bed over some boy in your twenties?” She would smile and nod, but the joy would never fully reach her eyes at the thought of “some boy”. He could show up and ask her to run away with him. Tell her he made a mistake and has been miserable without her for all of these years. Tell her he knows he’s probably too late, but ask her if she’s willing to take a risk. And she’s not entirely too sure if she would say no. Even if it’s the right thing to do.
She told herself that he never loved her as much as she loved him. He couldn’t have. If he did, he would have never been in the bed of anyone else knowing she was home in theirs, waiting for him. They had been going through a rough patch, but no relationship is without their troubles. They could have worked harder on communicating. They could have expressed their love for each other more. But even during their hard times, she never once even thought of straying from him. She knew what they had was worth fighting for. She knew it was more precious than diamonds or rubies, or anything else the world could offer.
She thought back to the time he went to meet her mother. It was a big deal to her, for them to meet. Her father had left when she was little and it had been just the two of them most of her life. She still remembered when her mother leaned over to whisper in her ear “he’s a good one, you better keep him around”. She smiled and it filled her heart with so much love to know her mother, who’d been through so much in her life, approved of Suresh. She knew how he came off in public, but in private he was a dream come true.
She can’t imagine having that with anyone else. She can’t imagine loving anyone else with the same power and force she loved him. No one.
He could show up on her wedding day, run down the aisle and reach her. Look disheveled and distressed, confess his love for her and ask her to reconcile. And she just might do it. She just might leave the person she was to marry seconds before it became official to be with Suresh.
Everyone has their weaknesses and Suresh is hers. He always has been and he always will be. Her kryptonite. Her hearts true want and desire. What he does to her, what he makes her feel, she’s not sure could ever be replicated. She’d learn to lie in the face of those she loves and cares for most when they ask her if she’s fine and she’s moved on. But she’s not and she hasn’t. She’ll never be over him. Her soulmate.
She knows that when she moves on it will only partially be filling the Suresh shaped hole in her heart. Things will never be the same with anyone else. And she doesn’t want it to be.
Well what can I say…after the casa amore saga and then Snog, Marry, after being a Suresh Stan I was ready to throw in the towel as I only wanted this perfect looking pixel man 🥵 the way FB went about it had me thinking maybe I should jump on the Finn train. So glad I didn’t and stuck it out to the end. I admit the writing weren’t the best but I’m just Happy These pair are together as fiancées and gonna have a epic wedding an babies 🥰 honestly a massive part of me continuing this series of the game is due to amazing fan fic from @luckyqueenreign and @mrsbsmooth ❤️ thank you both you have kept me interested within this series and I wish you were actually on the Fusebox writhing team 🥰
It’s the first day in the Villa for introvert Eòin, who’s been single since a bad breakup a few years ago. There’s more to this shy single than meets the eye, and he’s got a few secrets. But secrets don’t stay secret for long in the Villa
Features a mostly bisexual cast and a male MC.
“You look like hell.”
I shrug at the producer. “I can always leave.”
Ethan grins at me. “Just so you know that threat will only work so many times before I quit believing you. Besides, I never said you looked bad.”
I roll my eyes and fight back a grin. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Made you smile though.”
Considering Ethan looks like sex walking packed into six feet of muscled perfection, I bet anyone with a pulse who’s even remotely attracted to men would smile around him. I choose to keep that thought to myself.
“I still don’t understand why I’m going in with the girls. Shouldn’t I be waiting with the rest of the guys?” I ask, nervously tying up, then letting down my long, black hair.
“Things are a little different this season since we’re starting over with a brand new production team,” Ethan answers, the warmth suddenly leeching out of his brown eyes. “Any nearly every cast member is bi, so we thought it would be a fun idea to have a mixed group doing the choosing this time.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you have some concerns about doing the show, but I promise I really am on your side, Eòin.”
I gnaw on my cuticle and stare at him skeptically.
“Hey, hey.” He steps towards me and places his hands on my shoulders. “I know you’re worried, but everything is going to be fine. And you’ll have me in your corner every step of the way.”
I step away from him and quickly push the inappropriate thought out of my head. Catching feelings for anyone on this show would be stupid, but falling for a producer would be next level idiocy, even for me.
“Alright, it’s showtime. You ready to go?”
I hastily run my hands through my hair and try to smooth some of the wrinkles from my shirt. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Ethan guides me to the end of the drive, positioning me until he’s happy with the lighting and camera angles. “OK, you’ll walk up to the Villa and the girls are going to come out to meet you. There will be a few minutes for introductions and then we’ll call you out to meet the others and have you make first your coupling picks.”
“Got it.” I take a few deep breaths and bounce up and down on my toes, trying to psyche myself up. “K. I’m ready.”
Ethan nods and signals for the cameraman to begin filming. I make it three steps down the drive before he’s shouting.
“Come on, Eòin! You need to look like you’re happy to be here! You’re excited, this is your summer to find love… I need the viewers to believe it. That’s the saddest walk I’ve ever seen.”
I will not strangle this man in front of all these witnesses, I will not strangle this man in front of all these witnesses…..
“That’s how I walk, Ethan. It’s how I’ve been doing it for over twenty-six years now, and I’ve always been very successful.”
He hustles to my side. “We’re trying to sell a fantasy. You need to either make people want you or want to be you. We need you to give us some energy, some sex appeal.”
“I have neither of those things,” I say, blinking up at him from my diminutive height of five feet four inches.
“Liar.” Ethan’s full lips curve into a playful smirk. “I’ve seen you on stage. You’ve got sexiness in spades; you just need to let everyone see it.”
He thinks I’m sexy?
My heart does a traitorous little pitter-pat in my chest.
“We’re going to start rolling again. You can do this.” He pats my shoulder and once again takes his place next to the cameras.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. I start to go through my pre-show checklist. Shoulders back, spine straight, arms loose, sway my hips, barest hint of a smile on my lips. And walk.
“Perfect!” Ethan gives me a thumbs up.
The soles of my sneakers scuff along the cobblestone of the drive and I focus on that sound as the Villa’s iconic entrance comes into sight. The door flies open, and a cute, bouncy blonde girl bounds outside to greet me.
“There you are! We were wondering when the last one of us would get here! I’m Dana, and you’re a total spice bomb!” She flashes me an adorable smile. “So pumped you’re going to be in the Villa with us! But here I am rambling on, and I haven’t even asked your name.”
I return her smile with a shy one of my own, praying that I haven’t started to blush. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on the receiving end of so much attention from such an attractive person. “Hey. I’m Eòin.”
“So great to meet ya, Eòin! Can’t believe we’re all here. I was a bag of nerves walking in. How are you feeling about being in the Villa, Eòin?”
“Um, I wasn’t even goi-” I stop talking when I notice Ethan waving his arms and making aggressive slashing motions over his throat. “Insanely nervous, to be honest. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Then we’re not alone! And you’re totally going to boss this. I can already tell,” Dana reassures me. “In fact, we’ll boss it together. I’ve got you, Eòin. Who knows what will happen.. or exactly what your summer on Love Island will be? Come on, let’s get inside. I can’t wait for you to meet Kat… and she’s got a surprise for you, too!”
I follow Dana to the garden, glancing quickly at Ethan, who narrows his eyes at me in warning. The sudden pop! of a champagne cork makes me jump, and pulls my attention away from the producer.
“Cork popped just as you walked in. That’s gotta be a sign,” says the sultry brunette holding a foaming champagne bottle.
“Eòin, this is Kat! I made her wait until you showed up to pop the fizz,” Dana quickly introduces us.
“And I ain’t a patient girl. Still, Dana bet you’d be a proper ten. And she was bang on.” Kat trails her eyes appraisingly over my body. “Now I guess we’ll see how well you take a compliment…”
“Thanks, darlin’. You’re both absolute worldies.”
Kat wrinkles her nose at my accent. “Where you from, love?”
“Kat!” Dana scolds her.
I huff out a soft laugh. “Scottish mum, but my dad’s Louisiana Cajun.”
“American?” Both girls eyes widen in interest.
“Yeah.”
“Well I appreciate the compliment. Glad to hear you’ve got good taste, babe. Even if you’re just stating the obvious.” Kat gives me an arrogant smirk.
Okaaaay.
“Alright, enough chat. The champers is popped, and no way can we let good bubbles go to wastes,” Kat declares.
“Same!” Dana grabs a glass and holds it aloft. “Let’s get this party started! Should we make a toast?”
“Ohh… I’ll start, you finish it, Eòin . Here’s to a summer of…” Kat trails off, looking at me expectantly.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Ethan spreading his arms wide and waving them around.
Jesus Christ.
Internally rolling my eyes, I paste on a smile, raise my champagne glass, and lie like a rug. “Here’s to a summer of love! I’m all about the heart, ladies.”
“He’s after true love! Goals – but maybe not mine.” Dana bumps her shoulder into mine playfully. “Hoping the Villa changes that though.”
Kat snickers. “Open to love for sure, but lust is a must for me.”
We all clink our glasses together and take our first sips.
“So what are your types on paper then?” I ask hesitantly. I can already feel the stirring of attraction towards Dana, and I’d rather find out now if I’m not her type.
Dana finishes off her champagne. “Love anyone who can make me laugh until I cry. If you’ve got the bants, you’re getting in my pants.”
“Oh my god!” I wheeze, laughing and trying to drink at the same time.
Kat shrugs. “I don’t really have a type. As long as they’re a 6-foot, confident bad boy, with muscles and tats. I get bored fast, and I need a boy who can keep me on my toes. Or I’ll run riot.”
“Keeping it nice and shallow, I see,” I murmur to Dana under my breath. She snickers quietly and pours us both another drink.
“I might mix it up a bit in here,” Kat continues. “My nan wants me to find a nice boy. I must have dated every player in Basildon.”
“I might’ve dated one or two of those in Manchester,” Dana chimes in. “What about you, Eòin?”
I shrug, suddenly intensely interested in bubbles swirling around in my glass. “I haven’t really dated much. My only serious relationship ended about two years ago… and my work makes it hard to get to know someone. So uh, yeah.”
Dana gives my hand a comforting squeeze. “Then hopefully this summer you get a chance to meet someone special.”
“Yeah, I hope so,” I whisper, smiling softly as I look into her piercing blue eyes.
Kat’s phone pings. “I got a text! Ok it says… Get ready to meet the other Islanders! But there might be an unexpected surprise for one of you! #HereComeTheBoys #FirstCoupling.”
“Just boys?” Dana’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
Kat throws an arms around her shoulders. “If we’re going to be the only girls we should take advantage of it. Let’s go get ready!”
The pair dash of into the Villa while I slowly walk behind them, my stomach churning with anxiety. I try to motion Ethan over to me, but he avoids my eyes and draws another producer into conversation. Occasionally the two glance over at me, and Ethan scowls as the second producer shakes her head.
Oh, that’s not suspicious at all.
Kat and Dana buzz around the dressing room while I pick through my clothes in the bedroom.
“What do you think the unexpected surprise is?” I call to them.
“I reckon there’s gonna be a proper plot twist lined up for us this season.” Kat appears in the door way, bronzer in hand. “Which means we need to be ready for anything!” She raises a fluffy makeup brush in the air to emphasis her point.
“So looking best is a must-must-must.” Dana has a bikini in each hand.
“I can’t stop worrying about this surprise.” I fall back onto a bed and pull a pillow over my face.
“You know it’s gonna be big!” Kat shouts over the sounds of her hair dryer.
Dana snatches my pillow away. “Don’t stress. Dress!”
“Hey!” I make a grab for it but she’s quicker. She smacks the pillow against my chest, then skips away, giggling.
“The text said it’s about one of us. And even if it’s not about me, I always want to stand out.” Kat strides to the closet, critically examining its contents.
Dana nods. “Agree. First impressions are massive in the Villa.”
“I’ve got a cheeky feeling this surprise is about Eòin.” Kat cuts her eyes to me.
I frown, nibbling on my lower lip. “Really?”
She shrugs. “Just a hunch. So this is the time to go big with your look.”
“Yeah, you’re a hottie! The hair, the eyes, your skin. But you’d look even hotter in those tropical boardshorts. Why don’t you try them on?” Dana urges me.
“I know you’re my competition, but you’d defo be the best dressed for the first recoupling,” Kat chimes in.
Dana lowers her eyes, then coyly looks up at me beneath her lashes. “Even I want to choose you in that look! You’ll be turning all the heads. So are you going to wear that and stand out for the first coupling?”
Dana’s adorable, but Jesus and all his saints couldn’t get me to wear that hot pink and turquoise monstrosity on international television.
“Um… I’m going to check what else I brought,” I say quickly, ducking back into the safety of the bedroom and rummaging through my suitcase. I settle on an outfit and go into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.
“You shy babes?” Kat calls through the door with a laugh.
I pull on my clothes in a rush, nodding with approval at my reflection when I’m done. The long sleeve Def Leppard concert t-shirt is so old and worn, it’s threadbare and see-through in some places, but it’s light and soft, the clothing equivalent of a warm hug. Plain, knee-length black boardshorts, and black thongs complete the look.
It might be a bit plain, but it’s me.
My phone chimes, the noise loud in the empty bathroom. I run back into the dressing room and share the text with the girls. “Eòin, the boys are waiting by the pool for the first coupling. You get the first pick of the boys. #TakeYourPick #FirstChoice.”
Oh god…
Kat scowls. “As if you get first choice!”
“Go get ‘em!” Dana gives me a gentle push out the door.
I step out into the garden and find two boys waiting for me by the pool. Kat and Dana follow me at a distance, peeking out of the Villa to watch the proceedings. Both boys cheer when the see me, calming some of my nerves.
“Here we go!” The blonde sends me a smoldering smile.
“Now we’re talking,” the other one adds with a cheesy grin.
The blonde runs a hand through his hair, showing off a sculpted chest and abs I have a sudden urge to lick. “Love the outfit babes. All the flames.”
“You look blinding, darlin’. Hot first impression!” The second boy seems like a sweetheart, he gives off a genuine vibe that I instantly find myself drawn too.
“You’re on, Eòin! How do you want to play this?” Dana stage whispers from the doorway.
I anxiously tug on the cuff of my shirt and offer the boys a tiny wave. “Um, hi. I’m Eòin.”
“No need to be nervous, darlin’,” the brunette says soothingly. “I’m Alfie. You seem like a total vibe, and I reckon we’re gonna have a laugh.”
I manage a small smile. Alfie seems pretty loud and boisterous, which is the antithesis of what I’m normally into. But he seems nice.
And nice can be good.
The other boy steps into my line of sight. “Hey, Eòin. My name’s Eddie. And you are absolutely my type on paper.”
I bite my lower lip. “That so?”
“I saw some factor 50 by the daybeds if ya wanna law it on a little thicker,” Alfie jokingly interrupts.
“Just being real bro,” Eddie smoothly responds.
“Just winding you up a little bit Eddie-mate.”
Maybe Alfie’s not going to be a good fit after all.
I tilt my head to the side, a little confused. “Is it just you two then?”
Ethan signals to someone and another boy comes around the corner, swaggering towards us.
“Oh no.” My voice is a barely there whisper and I press a hand to my stomach in an effort to stop the sudden urge to vomit. My hands start shaking and a cold chill sweeps over my body.
“Hey gorgeous.” Suresh winks at me. “I always knew we’d see each other again.”
I curl in on myself, keeping my gaze locked onto my feet. I blink rapidly, fighting the sting of oncoming tears.
“Do I still make you speechless after all this time?” Suresh teases.
I clench my jaw tightly and try to control my breathing. The world becomes fuzzy at the edges, and everyone sounds as if they’re speaking underwater.
“Something’s wrong, we need to stop,” Ethan says. “Cut. Cut the cameras.”
“No, this is perfect,” the other producer, Vanessa, overrules him. “This is exactly the kind of emotional response people want to see.”
He glares at her helplessly. “Fine,” he grits out.
“You’re really not going to say anything after all this time?” Suresh demands, annoyed.
I shrug, still looking at the ground.
“For fuck’s sake, Eòin…” he growls.
“Dude, back off,” Alfie interjects, stepping between us. “He’s obviously uncomfortable right now.”
“Anyone care to explain what exactly is going on?” Eddie asks.
“We used to be together,” I manage to say quietly.
“For nearly two years.” Suresh flashes the boys a cocky smirk. “I could say a lot more. But I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Something tells me you’re leaving out a big part of the story,” Alfie says. “And that’s probably why Eòin isn’t exactly happy to see you.”
“Getting the same feeling. What went down?” Eddie casts me a worried look.
Suresh shrugs. “That’s personal between me and Eòin. All I’m saying is mistakes were made and we broke up. Well, he broke up with me.”
My head snaps up. “Mistakes? That’s what you’re calling it? Why don’t you tell everyone what those mistakes were, Suresh?” I’m unable to hide the hurt that creeps into my voice.
“Wow, we’re going there straight off? There’s a lot more to it than this. Defo two sides to the story.”
I hunch my shoulders and lower my head, trying to escape his scowl.
Two sides my pasty white ass.
“Spill, geezer.” Alfie gives him a hard look.
“I slipped up one night,” Suresh mumbles, avoiding everyone’s eyes.
“Not cool,” Eddie snaps.
“It was a one time thing,” Suresh tries to defend himself.
“Nah, geez, it’s never just one time.” Alfie looks disgusted.
Suresh shrugs, cocky grin firmly back in place. “Well, there’s a lot you don’t know. But me being here changes the game, boys.”
“Or me and Alfie just became better options!”
“Good point, mate.” Alfie nudges Eddie and smiles. “What do you think, Eòin? Do me and Eddie stand a better chance of coupling up with you now that your ex is in the Villa?”
“Um… yeah, probably,” I answer him shyly.
“Why eat stale bread when you’ve got two freshly baked loaves to bite into right here?”
Eddie nods. “I’m with Alfie. I might be ready to step forward right now. Anyway, I’ve been pumped to get to know you since you first walked out!”
Alfie giggles. “Cheers, Eddie, love you too mate!” He pauses. “Oh wait, you meant Eòin? That makes more sense.”
Way too full on, my guy.
I smile wanly. “Have you always been a joker, Alfie?”
“Yep. I get it from my old man. He’s always cracking me up at work. We’ve got a family building firm.”
“What do you build?”
“For starters I could build a wall between you and Suresh if you want?”
Alfie’s unexpected offer draws a startled laugh out of me.
“Hilarious,” Suresh snarls, while Eddie chuckles appreciatively.
Alfie studies me intently. “What do you say, Eòin? Am I ticking a few boxes?”
I nod timidly, afraid to do much more under Suresh’s intense scrutiny. “So what about you, Eddie? What do you do?”
“I’m a country boy originally. But often in London chilling with mates or doing modelling work. My mum always said I have a face any girl would love,” he says cheekily. “Little did she know the boys would love it too. And luckily my agent agrees.”
Suresh scoffs. “Mate… are you serious?”
“Nah, just bantering.” Eddie shrugs. “Truth is I’ve been single a while and I’m definitely read for something serious… with the right person. What do you say, Eòin? Could I be a bit of you?”
“You think I might be a bit of you?” I tuck my hair behind my ears and straighten up, trying to seem a bit more confident.
“I like what I’m seeing so far.”
“Me too.” We share a small, private smile.
Suresh shakes his head and lets out a low huff.
“Glad you’re on board. You’re stunning Eòin, and seem like you’d be a vibe.” Eddie subtly flexes, showing off his impressive biceps, and I bring a hand to my mouth to check for drool.
“What about me, babe? Don’t I get a chance to have a proper chat?” Suresh arches one dark eyebrow at me.
“I-I-I…” I inhale, trying to get my stutter under control. “I don’t think I want to talk to you right now.”
Suresh looks away, his jaw tightening just a little.
“All right then. Time to chose who to couple up with!” Alfie claps his hands.
“OK… um step forward if you’re into me. Please.” I wring my hands together, hoping Suresh doesn’t.
Alfie steps forwards first, shrugging his shoulders with disarming confidence. “I was always stepping forward for ya, darlin’.”
Eddie steps forward next, rubbing the back of his neck with a boyish charm. “For what it’s worth I think there’s real chemistry here, Eòin.”
Nice.
A frisson of excitement runs through me at Eddie’s words. And then Suresh steps forward.
“I know there’s chemistry here, so no sense hanging back.” He smirks, his dark eyes sweeping over me. I squirm and try to fight the blush that I know must be creeping up my cheeks.
Alfie raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “You really think he’s going to pick you with that attitude?”
“This boy’s full of surprises. Our future’s a bit of a mystery. Like our past.”
“Whatever, bro.” Eddie rolls his eyes. “So who are you going to couple up with, Eòin?”
I anxiously chew on my thumbnail and dart my eyes to Ethan, hoping he’ll give me some instruction on what to do.
Alfie seems nice, but way too much for me, I think. I can’t deal with Suresh right now. Eddie’s the most my type… but I don’t know. There’s something about him that I can’t quite put my finger on.
Ethan quickly puts me out of my misery. “Alfie,” he mouths.
“I’d like to couple up with Alfie,” I announce.
Suresh sends me a dirty look while Eddie just looks disappointed.
Alfie gives me a tender hug when I go to stand next to him. “So happy you picked me, darlin’.”
“Sorry to break this up… but not really!” Kat barges into the garden. “Girl’s gotta get her time. Hey boys, I’m Kat!”
“Hey lovely,” Eddie purrs.
“Alright, Kat?”
I do a double take at the big, stupid grin on Alfie’s face.
Fucking really?
She preens under their attention. “From the looks on your faces, I can tell I’m not disappointing you. P.S. I never do.” She looks over the boys, her eyes lingering over Suresh the longest. “Especially this one. Couldn’t help but hear the surprise. We’ve got an ex in the Villa…. Feels a little weird that I’m not the one bringing the drama for once. But it’s early days. Feeling curious about you, Suresh. I’ve always loved a bad boy. But even nice boys go bad around me. You’ve been warned.”
“Coming on strong, Kat, that’s for sure.” Alfie’s doing a really poor job of hiding his interest.
“I don’t know any other way, so if you like what you see, you know what to do.” She winks at him.
Suresh looks at Kat teasingly, then he and Eddie both step forward. “You’ve defo caught my eye.”
A sharp pain strikes me somewhere in the vicinity of my heart, but I resolutely ignore it.
Eddie grins at her. “I had to step forward. You’re a ten babe.”
“Thanks, boys. You’re both absolute fire too. I could see me having fun with either of you.” She glances at Alfie suggestively. “But there’s something about your cheeky grin and that bod, Alfie. So sorry, Eòin. I’ve gotta go with my gut and couple up with… Alfie.”
“Are you fucking serious?” I hiss at her.
She smiles at me innocently and takes her place at Alfie’s side.
The text alert sounds on my phone. “Eòin, as Kat has coupled with your partner, you are now single. Please make your way to the subs bench.”
“Sorry, babes. I didn’t come to the Villa to not get what I want,” Kat says triumphantly. She pulls Alfie close and runs her hands all over his body with a sexy purr.
I show her both my middle fingers and give her a dirty look before stalking away and taking a seat on the bench.
“Really, Eòin?” Ethan scolds me from the sidelines.
For good measure I flip him off too, then cross my arms over my chest with a huff.
“Real mature,” he mutters.
I open my mouth to respond but Dana interrupts, approaching the boys with a warm, sassy smile and boat loads of confidence, until she stumbles in her heels.
“Whoa, all good there?” Alfie asks in concern.
“All good,” she laughs. “I’m not used to heels. Thought I’d make an effort, it being the first day and all. You’re welcome.”
Everyone but me laughs, Dana’s infectious charm intriguing them. Eddie and Suresh stand alone, Alfie has his arm wrapped around Kat’s waist.
Wow.
Eddie steps forward immediately. “Well, you’re looking great, Dana. So I’m going to step straight forward for you.”
Suresh looks at me but stays still, saying nothing.
“I had a nightmare last night that no one stepped forward. So, I’m glad I’m living a sweet dream right now. Cheers, Eddie. I heard your chat and I’d love to couple up with you.” The two hug.
Suresh smirks at me… we’re now coupled by default. “When it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
I must have been a murderer in a past life.
I stay sitting on the bench, shell-shocked.
“Eòin! Go stand by Suresh!” Vanessa screams at me after a few moments.
I obey, dragging my feet. I stop about seven feet away from him, refusing to get any closer.
Eddie chuckles awkwardly. “Well that was eventful.”
“First coupling done and dusted. What’s next?” Alfie cuddles a little closer to Kat.
Gag me.
Dana’s phone goes off. “The first coupling isn’t Finn-ished yet. #Bombshell coming,” she reads out. “Love it!”
“Oh my days!” Kat exclaims. Her jaw hits the floor as a redheaded hunky mountain man with tats and muscles swaggers across the garden.
“Hello, beautiful people!” he calls with a charming smile.
Alfie’s eyes go wide. “Aw mate. Look at this sexy pirate guy!”
“Type. On. Paper,” Kat murmurs.
This bitch.
“Wow. You haven’t been with Alfie, who you stole from me, for more than ten minutes and now you’re chasing after a new guy. Real classy,” I sneer.
She shoots me a nasty look but otherwise ignores me, choosing instead to focus on the new boy.
“What’s the craic, people? I’m Finn.”
“Finn! You sound Irish! I love your accent!” Dana skips over to him, seemingly forgetting all about Eddie.
“Very kind. Yeah, I’m from Dublin. You’re all looking unbelievable,” he says, gazing at all of us in turn. “How lucky are we?”
Alfie and Eddie exchange a worried look, Suresh doesn’t seem bothered at all.
“I got a text!” Finn pulls out his phone. “Finn, in twenty four hours you’ll get to couple up with a person of your choice. The person no longer in a couple will be left single and at risk. #StealingHearts #TakeYourPick Wow, sorry all.”
Awkward silence hangs in the air as everyone takes in the news. I pick at my cuticles, already trying to plan the quickest way to escape the Villa.
“Loving your tats, babe.” Kat struts up to Finn and runs her hands over his chest. He grins at her.
“So who do you like the look of then, Finn?” Eddie asks.
“In other words, who needs to be worried?” Alfie adds.
“Boys, boys, boys. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“Wow, you’re almost as bold as me, Finn,” Suresh comments.
“I’ve barely got started, fella. But on first impressions these three are ticking all the boxes.” Finn points towards Dana, Kat, and me. He shoots me a sexy look. “Eòin, Suresh is your ex? Let’s just say he’s got great taste. You’re a real beour.”
I momentarily abandon my plan to escape. “What’s a beour?”
“It means beauty where I’m from.”
The giggle pops out before I can stop it. I bring my hands up to cover my burning cheeks and smile at Finn shyly. Suresh suddenly looks a bit less comfortable.
“I thought Eddie’s abs were impressive. But Finn, you’re something else,” Kat interrupts us.
“I like to stay in shape for sure. You look like a gym girl yourself.” He ogles her curvaceous figure.
“Nah, I do all my exercise on the dance floor… Or in the bedroom.”
“Jesus, Kat. You’re about as subtle as a brick through a window,” I snark. Dana and Eddie try to smother their laughter and Suresh looks at me appraisingly.
“Nice to know you’re as acerbic as ever,” he says. I stick my tongue out at him.
“Wow, Kat. That’s got my heart pumping fast.” Finn fans himself with one hand. “You all don’t hold back… one’s got bants for days, you’re turning it on… the Villa’s going to be fun for sure.”
“So what do you, Finn?” I inquire.
“I make people happy for a living. I run a craft brewery with some pals.”
Dana raises her phone. “I got another text, guys. Islanders, get ready to take part in a couples quiz hosted by Finn. #WhosVibing #MetYourMatch.”
“Sounds like we’re about to get personal.” Finn gleefully rubs his hands together.
Dana walks past me and whispers, “I’ll find you in a few minutes.” Before I can say anything she approaches Suresh and leads him to the firepit.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
I wander into the kitchen, keeping one eye on Dana and Suresh. She abruptly jumps up and runs towards me.
“Hey!”
I lean against the counter. “So what did you and Suresh talk about?”
“I’ll fill you in. In private.”
I look over at Suresh still sitting alone by the firepit. “Um…”
“Your head must be a mess. But trust me, you need to hear what I’ve got to say. Let’s head for a chat?”
“Um… I should probably go talk to Suresh. Get it over with, you know?”
“I really think you should hear what he told me first,” Dana insists. “It might change up how you play things in the Villa. Quick chat upstairs?”
I cave. “Alright. Let’s talk in the bedroom.”
“Yes! Let’s go!”
I trail behind Dana as she races upstairs and into the bedroom, feeling slightly overwhelmed by all of her energy.
“Ah! This is so exciting!” She points at our beds, our names above them. “There’s our beds.”
I smile at her enthusiasm. “For sure. It’s pretty cool.”
“Ok, we don’t have much time though so let me dish on Suresh.” She plops down on her bed and motions for me to sit next to her. She looks around, making sure no one is close by. “So I might have dug him out a bit. Told him he shouldn’t be so cocky in his position!”
“No way!” I flop down on my stomach next to her. “How did he react?”
“He agreed with me that he was an idiot for cheating on you!”
I could’ve told him that.
“He told me you got serious super quick. And that wasn’t like him. He said the intense connection you had made him want to commit to you. But then he said something about a bust up and getting spooked and acting out.”
I feel my eyebrows draw together in confusion. “A fight? Right before he cheated?”
“That’s what he said.” She shrugs.
“Oh.” I wrack my brain, trying to remember what he’s talking about. But try as I might I can’t remember a fight, not even a slight tiff, in the weeks before he cheated. “Did he say anything else?”
“He said something about needing to figure out where your head’s at.”
“Anything about where his head’s at?”
Dana rolls her eyes. “That’s when he got all vague and mysterious. Said he needs to speak with you about that.”
I sigh heavily and cover my face with my hands. “This is a lot.”
“I know! Are you still attracted to him?”
“I mean, he’s still gorgeous. But how am I supposed to ever trust him again after everything he put me through? My head’s all over the place.”
“I’d be the exact same.” Dana pats my hand. “You’re gonna work it out though. You handled the whole situation like a boss from what I heard. Did you really just move out while he was at work without telling him?”
“I found out he cheated in the morning before he went to the office. Right after he left, a few of my friends came over and helped me pack up my stuff. I was on a plane to Louisiana before he even knew what was going on.” I smile slyly. “And I took the cat.”
She whoops and high-fives me. “That’s badass. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend. Trust me, I’ve got a good eye.” She gives me a flirty smile and looks as if she wants to say something, but quickly moves on. “How are you gonna play it with Suresh then?”
I turn my head to look at her. “How would you play it?”
“I’d cut loose and put him in his place,” she says firmly. “What are you thinking?”
“For now I think we should just try to make sure we can stay civil. I don’t want to ruin anybody else’s time in the Villa just because Suresh and I are fighting.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“Thanks for checking in on me, Dana. This was really sweet of you.”
“I’m here for you. And you’re way more ready to deal with Suresh now. It feels good to have a friend in the Villa.”
“For sure. I’m going to go talk to Suresh now. I’ll tell you everything he says after.”
The minute we wander back into the garden Kat comes rushing up to both of us. “Oh my days, I need in on the goss now!” She notices Suresh starts approaching us. “He’s coming over! Where’s your head at with him?”
I stare at her blankly. “Don’t you need to be humping Finn’s leg or something?”
Suresh touches my arm before she has a chance to snap back. “Babe, we’re about to get thrown into the fire, but first I need to talk…”
“You already had your chance. We need our time right now, Suresh,” Kat breaks in.
“Get that, Kat. But this is between me and my ex.”
Dana tugs on Kat’s arm. “Let’s give them a minute.”
“But I don’t want to -” Kat yelps as Dana drags her away.
I follow Suresh as he leads me over to the daybeds and takes a seat. I remain standing. “What did you want to talk about?” I mumble, picking at my cuticles for the third time this morning. One starts to bleed a bit.
Suresh reaches out and tenderly clasps my hands in his much larger ones. “You’re going to hurt yourself,” he says softly.
“Doesn’t matter.” I shrug. “Not like it can hurt worse than what you did to me.”
He releases my hands and sighs, leaning back on the daybed. “Seeing you again like this has my head spinning all over the place.”
“I was surprised to see you.”
He chuckles. “I bet. I didn’t know what to say when you looked over at me. Except that you look unreal in that outfit.”
I shake my head in disbelief.
“I mean it,” he insists. “But aren’t you hot in those long sleeves?” He reaches out to touch the hem of my shirt.
“Don’t touch me!” I exclaim, and rapidly back away from him, distressed.
His eyes widen and he placatingly holds up his hands. “Ok. I won’t, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you even here, Suresh?” I go to pull my hair back, only to frown when I realize I don’t have a hair tie.
“Here.” Suresh pulls a scrunchie out of his swim trunks and hands it to me.
“You remembered,” I murmur, turning it over in my hands.
“How could I forget?” He smiles sadly. “How many times did I have to help you untangle the regular elastics from your hair? And you always forgot to bring one with you, so I got into the practice of carrying one with me all the time. Habit stuck.”
A flood of emotion threatens to choke me, and I pull my hair back in silence.
“Truthfully, I’m here because the producers scouted me. Beautiful island, swanky villa, hot people… I thought it’d be a chance to have some fun. But when they told me you were going to be here too, it felt like fate, you know? A second chance to put things right one way or the other.” Suresh gazes at me intensely. “Look, I know I was mainly to blame for how things went wrong between us.”
“Mainly?” Equal parts hurt and anger creep into my voice.
“I messed up. Badly,” he admits. “But there are two sides to every story.”
I stare at him, gobsmacked. Tears begin to track down my cheeks and I wipe them away with the sleeve of my shirt, mortified that I’ve let him see me cry. “I didn’t cheat,” I whisper. “You did. I don’t see how there are two sides to that.”
“No... baby… don’t cry.” Suresh stands and moves to take me in his arms. I shake my head wildly and back away from him.
“Everybody to the pool!” Vanessa shouts.
Thankful for the distraction I hurry to join the others, hoping they won’t notice my red eyes. I hang to the back of the group, trying to make myself as small as possible so I don’t get too close to Suresh.
Vanessa stands in front of us, a slightly evil grin on her face. Ethan is next to her, looking miserable. “We’ve scheduled our couples quiz for later this afternoon, but to give you a fighting chance we’re going to let you all watch each other’s initial interview tapes. You all got a chance to look at each other’s headshots, so we’ll get to hear about your first impressions of each other, along with some personal details. Let’s inside and get started!”
All the other Islanders follow after her like ducklings trailing their mother, buzzing with nerves and excitement. I grab the sleeve of Ethan’s jacket as he walks by and pull him close.
“What is she talking about? I didn’t get to see any of the others’ pictures when I did my opening interview.”
“I know.” Ethan sighs and scuffs his shoe against the grass. “Vanessa left you out on purpose.”
