#surgikill

[splatteronmywalls]

[surgeonwedded]

@surgikill @clinikill

[brightprofiler]

@surgikill​  || random inbox stuff || always accepting

do you truly believe i would kill you malcolm? all that ive done is for you. i never told the police what you are. i protected you knowing what you will become. i would never kill you my boy. you are a part of me. and im never letting go.

from the moment john told malcolm that his father wanted to kill him  ,  there’s been an unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach  .  an uneasiness that seems to be festering away at him from the inside out  . malcolm doesn’t want to believe that his father would kill him or plan to at least  .  desperate times call for desperate measures though right  ?? the chloroform wasn’t working as well and he was starting to remember. those were john’s words and most of it makes sense  .

serial killers rarely change their MO , and his brain is picking itself apart trying to decipher the mystery for the right answer  .  a chill runs down his spine at the words ‘i’m never letting go’ as if malcolm were a piece of property to be owned  .  nothing more than a TROPHY to be displayed on the mantle to be gawked at by the rest of the world  .  “  i have become all that i will ever be  .  nothing more  .  “  malcolm knows what he means and had he been just like his father then he’d have killed john the night that he attacked HIS family  . 

thinking back on it frightens malcolm though  .  it was a side he’s never had to witness of himself and that feral energy is extremely reminiscent of his father’s  .  though  ,  they won’t speak of those moments  .  martin wasn’t there and he will NEVER know  .   “ i acted in self defense there was NOTHING to hide  ,  “ he says a little too quickly but still remains calm  .  “ you’re the one that decided to leave him dead.  i was just a kid , the only reason you didn't call the police is so they wouldn't investigate what was really going on there . you didn't give a damn about me . you wanted to protect your SECRET .  “ 

[peacefulapostlearchive]

surgikill replied to your post “Sometimes I forget Paul is a Seed too, and that this blog is from his...”

and paul is ALWAYS yelling at murder john all the time telling him to stop murdering let's not forget

this ask was from like 2 days ago but YOU’RE NOT WRONG. him and john fight it out all the time. 

[clinikill]

slides in here hey hello ilu always and your martin is as per usual gorgeous your dialog GOD im one step closer to making a junkyard killer blog just to interact w/you and monroe lmao but thats not why im here IM HERE TO ASK YOUR THOUGHTS ON MARTIN AND THE NEW EP do you have any you wish to share if not thats ok too friend you're still valid and beautiful

FOX OUT HERE FINNA MAKE ME CRY ALSO MAKE A JUNKYARD KILLER BLOG ( martin vc: ….yikes lmao ) I WANNA WRITE ALL THE THINGS WITH YOU ILU AND I LOVE MONROE ALSKDJFLKASD

BUT!!!! my guy i thought the ep was absolute FIRE and i do have some thoughts!! imma put them under a read more cuz imma rAMBLE

first off, to address elephant in the room!! personally i DO NOT think martin had any real intentions of killing malcolm. he might’ve said that’s what he was going to do, might’ve told john that’s what he intended to do, but i don’t think it was ever his plan. if john really knew martin that well, he’d know the guy is a perpetual liar / manipulator and couldn’t be fuckin trusted with a fuckin used popsicle stick lmao

second!! his panic attack was legit / not acting. initially when i saw the preview i thought it miiiiiight’ve been a ploy on martin’s part ( bc lbh he’s always scheming ) but nah ya boi honestly needs those benzos

speaking of which i definitely also thought while watching the preview that martin was on smth and turns out i was right! and specifically, benzodiazepines are a group of drugs can be used to treat anxiety and panic disorders, and i wanna say he might’ve been on them while in solitary ( i mean he was on something, he was loopy / off when initially talking to gil ) so perhaps he’s claustrophobic to the point where he had to be given smth to keep him calm in there :thinking:

ALSO!!! WORLD WAR DAD???? OOF god i need an entire post to scream about this but not only did we get one scene, we got THREE. and like i said in my tags in a gifset somewhere, the first scene with them was basically just a power struggle bc martin’s had 20yrs of repressed feelings about gil and oops they gotta come out now i guess

“i still owe you that cup of tea, don’t i?” “i switched to coffee.” martin stOP THREATENING GIL YOU CAN BARELY STAND but also that power move from gil chef kiss“where is my boy?” “you don’t get to choose who questions you.” “oh, but i can choose who gets the answers. where. is. MY. boy?” which, of course, martin power move, and damn if it doesn’t work bc it essentially proves to gil that martin won’t help without knowing the full details of the situation and forces him to spill the beans

and the second scene??? martin just goes for BROKE man like. so many GOOD LINES and shows that martin also does know about gil/jess to some extent which is…frightening and concerning“i smelled [jessica’s] perfume on that…cheap coat of yours.”“how you YEARN for it. to be his father.” ( also michael’s voice being so deep during this line? where’d my pants go wtf )

and the third scene gil is just so desperate to get smth out of martin, he’s literally beside him in his face, snapping his fingers, tryna get martin to focus. no one else has willingly been so close to martin so far ( granted martin was so high he probably couldnt even feel the bed he was sitting on much less be coordinated enough to try anything but i digress )

one last point : the parallel between martin saying “MY boy” and malcolm saying “MY family” / “MY house”? fuckin love it

also @TPTB don’t send john to claremont but martin will cause another goddamn lockdown and kill him bc nO ONE HURTS HIS FAMILY ( only him ) lmfao

[brightprofiler]

you know what you have to do, just one or two whacks of the hammer and you’ll be free my boy. they are OUR family, save them. do what you must. protect your mother, your sister. whatever it takes. remove the threat.

he’s lost a lot of blood  .  malcolm knows they are just stressed induced hallucinations but it doesn’t stop him from considering the truth in the words being spoken  .  malcolm stares for a few moments at the hammer conveniently placed at his side  .  all it would take is a good hit with well placed force  .  one hit for sure  .  he NEEDS to do this because his family needs him and he’ll be damned if he lets watkins hurt them  .  his own life be damned but his family is another story  . 

malcolm lifts his chin to set eyes on his father  ,  who he knows to be nothing more than a figment of his own imagination to help him with his own survival  .  odd that it decides to kick in now since typically that part of his brain tends to vacation a little too often  . it makes sense though if he thinks about it  .  fight or flight turned into utter protective mode all for the sake of his FAMILY  .  “  you’re right …   i have to do this  … “ 

his hand shakes and he feels sick to his stomach wondering about what is happening on the floors above him  .  one deep breath in and out .  in and out  .  the last one held  .   malcolm lifts the hammer and stares at his palm laid flat across the concrete  . 

   one  …  two …  

the hammer comes down on his hand with such force he FEELS the bones crack .  a scream let out that can only be described as BLOOD CURDLING rips through the night but it only lasts for a second before he’s back to being focused on the task at hand  . malcolm pulls his hand free of the cuff only with gritted teeth without so much as another grunt and wraps whatever cloth is laying off to the side to  around his wounded hand  .  

 WHATEVER IT TAKES  .    for once  ,  his father is right  .  he needs to protect HIS family  .  this is HIS FAMILY and this is his house  .  no one can threaten them and get away with it  .  

                  remove the threat  . WHATEVER IT TAKES.  

[ashesrise]

surgikill replied to your post: is it bad that I want a verse where Ainsley...

i love this ??

good bc once I’m done with this starter you’ll get a thing lmao

[brightprofiler]

@surgikill​  ||  RANDOM INBOX STUFF  ||  always encouraged  see, you need me malcolm. don't you. didn't i help with your memories? :)

the phone privileges are something malcolm did not miss  . the incessant droning of his father and how much he loves to hear himself talk  .  almost leaves the profiler with an instant headache with nothing to do but pinch the bridge of his nose in response  .  it never fails though with as soon as his father enters the picture again ,  tremors shake through his wrist all the way into his fingertips  .  thankfully ,  he’s not face to face with the man that torments more than just his dreams  . 

to get a grip on himself  ,  his grasp on the phone tightens  .  ❝ don’t begin to think that you had any effect on my memories and if you are to be credited then believe me when i say  ,  DR. WHITLY  , that is NOTHING to be proud of  . ❞  he can’t fathom the amount of narcissism and self absorbed idelism that this man beholds  .  not that it should SURPRISE him since he’s known his father was this way for as long as he can remember  .  

now though  ,  the memories put a new spin on the man he thought he knew but only twists him into furthermore of a monster  .  one that would drug his own child just to keep all of his secrets  .  the fact that malcolm did the same thing to himself just TO REGAIN those past events won’t be mentioned to anyone but his therapist  ,  who hadn’t been so happy to hear  . the knife is ANOTHER story but he also wonders just how much he’s yet to remember  .  there’s so much unknown and so many more questions  .  ❝ Why don’t you just help me with the rest of it  .  no more games  .  ❞