Coming out tips...
In my last tip, I was talking about identifying your allies. It might seem a little easier said than done, but you can find some tricks and strategies to pinpoint some of them.
Here is something I came up with!
Tip 4 - Social networks as a survey tool
What is great about this era is that mostly everyone is connected to the web in a way. Only a few reluctant people are still off Facebook. Some may see that as what is actually bad with this era, since most people now spend their time with their eyes on their tiny screens. Or because things like Facebook make it too easy to share any potentially offensive opinion or unverified news.
At the same time, that last point can actually turn out to become a very powerful tool for you. Why? Because people share anything? Exactly! Not only the system is made that it’s easy to share ANYTHING, it also provides people with a false sense of security and it lifts their filters. They actually share what they agree with. Even if it’s complete bullshit, they share a bit of truth about themselves and show what they truly believe in.
So? How can it become a tool? Let’s see.
You can start with the obvious ones. People in your feed who already share posts about gender/trans issues. These are the people you know that are already aware of that reality and those issues. They are most likely to take it well and to be supportive. From my experience, most of them are girls too. Guys often have a hard time discussing those issues because it challenges their masculinity (when they are attracted to the idea) and most of them are ashamed because it is still slightly taboo in a lot of places.
Then you can feed off their posts to plant your « probes »! By that, I mean that you slowly start reposting some of theirs. Go with things that can speak to a wide audience such as this post:
Then, wait! Watch the reactions. Keep reposting more things and see who seem to agree. You can also measure their involvement level by their reactions. Just a 👍🏻 or a ❤️ doesnt mean much. Commenting or, better, reposting, shows that the persons are not affraid to stick their name to the message.
BUT REMEMBER! The point of this is to make the coming out as painless as possible! You don’t have to come out to anyone you don’t want to. People you are not really close to do not have to be told one by one. After you have built a good entourage, you can also let people talk about it if you are comfortable enough. The news will travel on its own and you will get comebacks every now and then.
Go at your own pace, always put yourself in a situation where you feel safe and coming out over the phone, skype or even through a long email can be good. Just evaluate how close you are with the person and what could be the best mean of telling them.
Sadly there is no user manual on the subject, so you habe to go with the flow a little bit!
Be brave!
You can do it!
