The conversation shifted from the war and the night passed more normally. Eventually, it was time for Lux and I to go to our rooms and sleep, until the Twins rose again and it was time for another day of farming, scavenging, sweating, and wondering when I would finally get away from the sands of this detestable planet.
Banthas, I hate sand.
My nerves rose as each minute passed. Tonight I had a meeting with our small Resistance, and now that I knew Lux was aware of and curious about why I was leaving in the middle of the night, I needed to be more careful about sneaking out.
Quietly I made my way across the floor, passing his room and chancing a glance into the open doorway. There he was, laying sound asleep in his bed, completely unaware of my movements. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could even hear him snoring ever so slightly, and I knew I was safe. I moved faster after seeing that, grabbing my staff and opening the door, which creaked louder than I had remembered, and stepped into the dry, desert night. Between the three moons shining above and the millions of stars stretching across the sky, it was easy enough to find my way, and this was not my first journey through the night.
Even so, every step was dangerous.
The First Order didn’t pay much attention to planets in the Outer Rim, just as the Empire hadn’t, and the Republic before, and that's why Tatooine was allowed to become so wild and uncontrolled, largely run by crime rings and lacking an effective government. Every day I was reminded of how fortunate my situation of living with Lux’s family was. Most orphans on Tatooine are forced into a life of crime or slavery, but since the only source of water on the planet is through moisture farms, the owners of these farms are respected members of the community. I don’t like thinking of how different my life would be if my parents hadn’t been friends with the Mainvin family. But even the wild, untamed Tatooine couldn’t escape the overbearing hand of the First Order, as recently a small band of Storm Troopers had been sent to “keep the peace”, which really meant stop anyone who defied their views, even if that meant killing them to do so.
Doesn’t seem very peaceful to me.
This band of stormtroopers was actually the very reason I had called a Resistance meeting that night.
The closer I came to the meeting spot the more my anxiety rose, as I was planning on proposing an outrageous idea. Up until now, our resistance efforts had been in the shadows, small acts of disobedience that were all but unnoticeable unless looked at closely. But I felt that the time was coming that larger action needed to be taken. We had recently gotten word that there had been battles fought, and more than the mere skirmishes of the past months. Actual battles. This war was quickly moving from cold to boiling hot, from diplomatic stand-offs to laser fire and casualties.
The stakes were getting higher, and now was the time to act, before it became too late.
As I finally came upon our meeting spot for tonight, a secluded dwelling set in a hill on the outskirts of a nearby village, I performed the secret knock and was given entry into the space. I ducked my head into the small room and looked around as all the talking dulled and eventually came to a stop. All eyes turned to me as the leader, and I saw that nearly everyone was there that was to be expected, about 100 in all. There were some who couldn’t come to these meetings, whether it was too far or too dangerous, but the information was always dispersed to them the next day.
We began the meeting with formalities, and I asked everyone any information they knew about the war and any potential trouble that could be brewing here on Tatooine. Everyone shuddered to hear reports of the terror the stormtroopers were wreaking in the spaceport of Mos Eisley and they questioned the stories of the war raging outside our star system. Our older members couldn’t believe that they were going through this again, having to face another totalitarian force threatening the peace of the galaxy and risking their lives for a second time to push back the darkness. I was grateful for their resilience as well as their wisdom and experience, but the jaded look in their eye as we discussed the threat of the First Order always made my heart sink.
They also reminded me of my parents, who I knew would be in this room with me if they were still alive, willingly putting their lives on the line again without a second thought.
As the meeting continued, the conversation seemed to center around the fleet of Stormtroopers that had been stationed on Tatooine for a few months now. Despite the short amount of time they had occupied our planet, the destruction and death they were leaving in their wake shocked even our oldest members. Many, especially those who lived in the city, feared for their lives as any hint of their involvement in the Resistance would bring punishment, and probably death. While we were discussing possible courses of action to take to aid the Resistance in any way possible, I knew it was time to propose my ambitious plan. This wild idea struck, seemingly from nowhere, a few days ago, and it had consumed my every thought since. It was truly outrageous and more risky than anything we had attempted before, and the consequences should we fail were certain death and the destruction of our band of Resistance. I almost dismissed the thought completely, telling myself it was impossible, that no one would go along with it, and that they may even question my leadership and authority if I spoke it out loud.
But despite all these doubts, something arose inside me, a stirring, a prompting that I couldn’t ignore, and before I knew what was happening, the unspeakable words were out of my mouth.
“What if we got rid of the Stormtroopers?”
Silence.
I looked around the room, and those who would meet my gaze stared wide-eyed, clearly still processing those words. Most of them were looking at the ground, uncomfortable at my brash words of violent resistance, until a single voice spoke for the rest,
“What?”
“Just think about it--” I began to defend my idea, “if the stormtroopers were gone, then there would be no First Order threat to Tatooine. They’re the only thing suppressing us right now. The First Order doesn't care enough to pay attention to the planets on the Outer Rim, us least of all! I doubt The Troopers even report to anyone, they’ve been out of supplies for almost two months now and there hasn’t been a restock ship, there hasn’t even been anything sent! Isn’t that right, Kaligo?” I turned to our youngest member, who lived in Mos Eisley and had the important task of keeping an eye on the Storm Troopers there and observing their movements and habits. She nodded slowly, wary of speaking in this situation. “Thank you. If we got rid of all of them before they had the chance to transmit to the First Order for help, then they would never even know.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” A gruff voice from the back challenged.
“Well, we would come up with the details together, and it would take a lot of careful planning, but we would have to…” I trailed off, afraid to say the morbid words that came next.
“Kill them.” The same man replied. I swallowed hard, the weight of what I truly suggested sinking in, and dropping a heavy weight on my chest.
“Yes, I guess that’s what we would have to do” A cold silence filled the room, the only sound coming from those who shifted uncomfortably where they sat or stood. Finally an older woman, a veteran of the first war, broke the tension.
“We’d better discuss this, then.”
For the rest of the meeting, which stretched out to be a couple of hours, we discussed the pros and cons of my radical plan, eventually putting it to a vote. I thought that everyone would hate it, or be too afraid to enact it, but when it came time to make the decision, the majority of the group wanted to go through with it.
I was shocked.
Looking around at the faces surrounding me, I was overwhelmed with the tenacity and spirit that filled the room. Our Resistance was small, and may look weak to the outsider looking in, but our nerve and hunger made up for what we lacked in numbers. I thought of how proud my parents would be if they could see me now, leading this group who were determined to change the galaxy.
A part of me wondered if they could.
Eventually I had to end the meeting so that everyone could make it back to their homes safely before the suns came up, but not before discussing when and where our next meeting would be held. This was done quickly, as many of us needed the cover of night to hide from the prying eyes of the First Order and our neighbors. Even though many wanted to stay and keep discussing our bold plan, everyone began to clear out, in increments that would not be suspicious, and go home. For the past couple of weeks I felt as though some were losing heart and beginning to wonder if our efforts were really worth it, but now that we had a tangible plan that would have a large impact, a spark had been ignited once again and the flames of the Resistance began to grow.
Slowly, but surely.
I stayed behind to make sure everyone left the way they were supposed to and to thank the hosts of the meeting, and by the time it was clear for me to leave, the sky was already beginning to glow just as it did right before the first sun peeked over the horizon. I had never been gone this long before, or travelled this late (or would it be early?), and I was uneasy the whole way home. Leaving Resistance meetings always gave me a feeling of dread, as I worried about everyone getting home without being caught by Stormtroopers, or the many other local dangers that lurked in the dark Tatooine night. I knew I had to hurry to get back before it was fully light, since if anyone saw me there would be suspicion for sure, but that was difficult as our meeting location was over 3 klicks away from the Mainvin farm.
I made good time getting back, having to run most of the way, but I still didn’t make it before the first sun came up, instead arriving right before the second appeared. I had a bad feeling as I approached our hut that Lux would be awake, and he would not be happy with me. There was a slim chance he would still be sleeping, in which case I would quietly slip into my room and pretend that my night was uneventful as ever, but I had no idea what lie I could come up with if he caught me before I made it there. I braced myself as I walked through the door, hoping for the best, but a part of me already knew what I would find once inside.
I barely got one foot inside the door before he started shouting.
“Where the hell have you been?” His yell broke the silence of the early morning.
“Lux, I-”
“And why the hell are you coming home at the crack of dawn?” I was shocked at the tone of his voice. In my almost 20 years of knowing Lux, I had never heard him yell like this. There was so much emotion in it, anger being the most obvious, but it was almost as if that anger was a mask for other emotions, stronger ones, that lingered and mixed in but were harder to discover, emotions like fear, worry, and, if I strained hard enough…
“I told you, Lux, I’ve been having trouble sleeping. So I went to walk around outside and I stayed out longer than I intended to.” I paused to catch my breath, still winded from my long journey home. His stony silence told me that that answer wasn’t enough for him, so I strained to think of something else to say that would account for my absence. “Eventually I thought I would get a jump on scavenging for today, so I started looking around. By the time I thought I should come back, the first sun was already coming up, so I rushed back as fast as I could because I didn’t want you to worry.”
“You didn’t want me to worry? Well, you did a fantastic job at that! I’ve been up, worried sick, hoping to the stars you weren’t lost, or hurt, or...” He couldn't even finish his thought, and by the look on his face, it’s because it was too horrible to say out loud. He didn’t say it, he didn’t have to, but I knew what he was referring to.
Tusken Raiders.
This feared, nomadic, local people was the monster under the bed in every children’s horror story, and rightfully so. There were many dangers living on Tatooine, especially living on a moisture farm on the outskirts of a village, but the Sand People were the highest threat and the most feared. They were extremely hostile, and known to attack without warning. The energy in the air shifted at that, almost as if it were sucked out completely, and any anger or annoyance I felt at Lux vanished as well. I knew better than most the threat and dangers of the Sand People. Suddenly I could see why my absence made him so worried, and I understood his concern. Suddenly, I was ashamed at my recklessness.
“I’m sorry, Lux. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I know you didn’t,” his temper began to cool, and his voice returned to the normal one I knew, soothing and steady, almost musical, “it's just...it’s dangerous out there, especially when you’re alone. I-” he took a deep breath, and I thought he wasn’t going to finish his thought, but then he added, “I worry about you.” I looked up into his caring, brown eyes, so full of tenderness and concern, that I almost forgot we were fighting just minutes before.
“I had no idea you felt that way.” I couldn't think of anything else to say but, “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath and I saw a small smile creep onto his face before he softly replied,
“I know. It’s okay.” His eyes met mine and seeing him smile eased any tension the past confrontation caused. Then he opened his arms and smiled wider, and I knew that our fight was over. “Come here.”
I laughed freely as I walked to him and melted into his open arms, and as I felt them close around me it was as if I was exactly where I was supposed to be. My life was increasingly becoming more confusing, dangerous, and uncertain, but when I was with Lux, everything was clear, safe, and sure. We stayed like this for a few moments, just with each other, our silence a comfortable blanket, until the blanket was ripped off by Lux’s words,
“Just no more midnight and early morning walks alone, okay?” I lingered in the silence a few moments longer.
Too long.
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
More silence.
“I promise”
But that was a promise I knew I would have to break.
---
The next few weeks passed uneventfully. The Resistance had frequent meetings to plan our attack on the Stormtroopers, but I was more careful to ensure that Lux never caught me again. I didn’t know what I would do if he saw me sneaking out a second time, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to lie my way out of it then.
My days consisted of helping with the Mainvin moisture farm in the mornings, scrapping with Lux in the afternoons, and then Resistance meetings at night. I was running on empty, and Lux could tell. Everyday it got harder and harder to wake up in the mornings, since our meetings were becoming more frequent, and I was getting less and less sleep. He never said anything about it, but I could see it in his eyes that he was noticing something was going on, something I wasn’t telling him.
But Lux was never one to butt into other peoples business, and he was always perfectly happy staying quiet, in his own world, not stepping on anyone's toes.
For once in my life, I was thankful for his diffidence.
Finally, it was the night before our planned attack, and there was a tangible buzz, an excitement, in the air during our final meeting. There were those that got cold feet at the last minute and decided they needed to drop out, but other than those understandable few, everyone was all in. I went over the plan in detail, making sure everyone knew their role. I also went over every single thing that could go wrong, and what we would do in those scenarios. The more I talked about it the weight of what we were planning sunk into me, and suddenly I realized how impossible it was.
For weeks we had been meticulously planning our attack, but now it was in front of us, looming like a treacherous mountain that you couldn’t see the top of. I didn’t show any sign of my doubts, however. I knew my people looked up to me and needed me to be firm and secure. If I began to doubt, then surely they would too. No, I took on this leadership role, and that meant that I needed to put my personal feelings aside and be what my small band of rebels needed me to be.
“Now is the time we decide who we’re going to be in this time of resistance and change. When we decide if we’re going to keep our heads down and ignore the devastation that the First Order is causing all throughout the galaxy, or if we decide we’re going to take a stand, and fight for freedom.”
There were smiles from some, but others were stone-faced, paralyzed by fear and dread.
“We are taking bold action. What we are going to do tomorrow is going to make a lot of waves, and I’m not going to lie to you, it is dangerous. Some of us may be hurt, or worse. But it is times like these that we must remember that we do not fight for ourselves, nor do we fight alone. There are others like us out there, small groups of people on other systems who have also decided to stand, who decided that they weren’t going to let the terror and fear of the First Order rule their lives. We fight for them, and we fight for Tatooine. But not only do we fight for our planet, we fight for all of the Outer Rim, to say that just because we are small and far does not mean we are worthless. We are going to make the First Order regret the day they underestimated us.
“But most of all, we fight for the future. We fight so that there can be a day when we tell our children, and our children’s children, that there is peace and freedom in the galaxy because of the efforts of a small group of The Resistance on Tatooine who looked tyranny in the eye and decided there was no place for it here, or anywhere. We may be small, but I have no doubt our actions tomorrow will ripple out into eternity. I am sure of this because I look to the generation before us as an example that good will always triumph over evil, so long as the good is willing to fight for it. And we are.”
I had no idea where those words came from, and I was hardly aware that they were flowing out of my mouth until my speech was over and I was brought back to reality by the sounds of cheering, clapping, whooping, and the sight of everyone on their feet and beaming, even those whose fear consumed them just minutes ago. Looking at them, at all the faces who I had grown to know and love over the past few months, I, for the first time, finally felt like their leader. Their confidence in me fueled me, and I got an overwhelming feeling that our efforts tomorrow would be successful, and we would take one step closer to freedom.
After everyone settled down, I wrapped up the meeting with a few more logistical items and then, little by little, everyone began the systematic trek back to their homes.
Almost everyone was out when I felt a light hand on my shoulder. I turned and met eyes with our oldest member, Dya, who had also been a part of the Rebellion in the Galactic Civil War. I had always looked up to her, and often asked her advice on tough situations, as I knew her experience and knowledge was invaluable. There was a kindness and a new light in her eyes that I couldn’t help but notice, and it was infectious.
“Your parents would be so proud of you.” Dya had known my father since childhood, as they both grew up on Tatooine. She met my mother when they settled here after the war, and I knew they would often meet to share stories about their time fighting. They found solace in each other, survivors trying to make sense of why they still lived when so many didn’t. “You have your father's eloquence and charisma, and your mother's passion and intelligence, not to mention her beauty.”
I was stunned by her heart-felt words, and felt the mixture of pride and sadness, love and loss that always accompanied any mention of my parents. Even after all these years I still felt the sting of their absence. Not a day went by where I didn’t miss them.
“Thank you.” The weight of her words were still sinking into me. “I try to honor them and make them proud with everything I do. They put their life on hold to fight the Empire, so I knew I needed to do the same to fight the First Order”
With one last knowing smile and a reassuring pat on my arm, she too left, hobbling through the dark, perilous night back to her home. I only hoped I was as courageous and capable when I reached her age, if I ever did.
As I walked back to my hut and silently slipped back into my room, careful to not wake Lux in the process, I knew I would be getting very little sleep that night. I was a mess of nerves and doubts, the plans of tomorrow’s events swirling relentlessly in my head. I thought of everything that could go wrong, and what would happen if it did. I thought about what would happen if everything went right, and what our next steps would be. I thought about what would happen if everything went right, but then the First Order caught wind of it and decided to punish us with even more force than there was to begin with. I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head and just focus on the plan.
Everything was now in motion, and I would just have to wait until tomorrow to see how it played out. Eventually I drifted into a restless sleep, dreams of yelling, explosions, and Storm Troopers following me even in my rest.
