#sweet rambles

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

I don't really post much about my personal life on here (mostly cause I'm boring/privacy stuff) but I wanna get this out. Fair warning, it will be mushy and sappy and freaking long so feel free to scroll away.

I have a boyfriend. He is absolutely one of my favorite people in the world. We've been dating for years and have known each other since we were kids. We were really just kinda there for each other growing up. He moved away for school, didn't really hear much and then showed back up 3 years later. Quickly became close again. Hanging out, movies and video games together. All the silly stuff. And it finally hit me one night coming home from his house.

I had fallen for this guy. And promptly went "Oh hell" because I didn't know how to approach this. I didn't know what to do. And I was terrified to lose my friend.

Then Covid happened. Stay-at-home order happened. And we didn't see each other for 4 months. Texting every day, calling when we could. 4 months of my head screaming at me like it was that scene in Hercules with the Muses singing to Meg. Because I was so scared, and people were sick and I was terrified something would happen to him. So finally, I broke. Went into this zen zone of "I'll tell him. I'm going crazy and it has to stop. For my own sake."

And I did.

Only for this joker..... TO TELL ME HE HAD BEEN TRYING TO MAKE THE MOVES ON ME FOR MONTHS AND I HAD NO IDEA. Then he kissed me several times and we've been together since. ( I know, I sound like a cheesy fanfic or something. I know there's gotta be one out there. I have no excuse.)

But dang, either I'm ridiculously blind or him making the moves was some form of Morse code. Idk.

God I love him.

Ps: I'm really hoping he proposes soon.

[fennel-tea-and-nightshade]

@mirazartsstuff pointed out how he struggles with portraying "evil" characters in an environment where he neither has a script nor actual control about his surroundings and I feel that.

Especially other a longer period if time, I don't think I could portray someone really over-the-top evil, even if these characters are suuuuper fun. But even with Eli I stoped doing ridiculously evil things, because after a year of playing that I just couldn't keep up anymore. To be fair, I do think Eli has currently other concerns...but still.

She will never stop being evil, I just went in a different direction story wise because somewhow that came more naturally to me.

And yes, even Asklepios used to be more of an asshole and he definitely toned down but he was also never meant go be a villain character.

As for my girl Eli, at least wer can still all agree that she is a shitty person who has done shitty things, not just backstory wise but also in the realm of the mission and you know what? Good enough.

I am also starting to feel like that, long term, playing fucked up characters is easier to me than evil characters. And yes, these overlap but still different.

[yurissweettooth]

I'm very glad to see cyberpunk media having a resurgence. I have alwags really loved the abundance of cyberpunk media from the 80s and especially the 90s as well as that weird, fake "high tech" thing we had going on in the 00s. It brings me an immense amount of joy to see all the new games, movies, and just general cyberpunk influenced content coming out in the modern day!

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

For most of my mutuals who know me a little bit or maybe people who happen to see my reblogs of certain things, I hope to think they see me as a nice person.

I like to see good things and make them sweet (kinda wanna live up to the name if I can, you know?) This is meant to be a safe place for alot of people to enjoy their interests and come together with others.

Now that being said.....

.¿Cuándo va a morir? I'm so over it.

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

Someone told me today that once my gallbladder gets taken out, I'll be able to eat "the way I used to" again.

Yeah.....let me explain something.

For context, about 4 years ago, my gallbladder decided that I was to be put on probation. Gave me horrible bouts of pain lasting for 5 hours at least during the night. Not pretty. Finally got to see a doctor who asked me one specific question and she immediately figured it out.

Fun fact; Gallbladder attacks often include unexplainable burping. Did you know that? Cause I didn't!

Gave me a diet to stick to and here we are today! (Yes, I know it's bad I still have it. Healthcare in America. Enough said)

Anywho, the result of this? I lost weight! 40 pounds gone. And... also gained a weird phobia of grease. Ever had a bag of microwave popcorn give you dread? It's an interesting time.

Oh well. I know it's better for my health anyway. I do miss pizza. But I don't like pain so I'll deal with the switch.

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

At my work, clients keep talking about the weather cause it's so freaking hot out here (we've had like 3 weeks of heat indexes over 100. Some scary shit for farming land)

And i don't want to be a downer bc I don't like being even more depressed butttttt....

We're kinda fucked. Global warming (and the fast increase in all the shit helping it along and everybody knows what i mean) just.....

And, with full offense, aren't of the people who have the power to work against this (BUT DON'T) old?! Did they never see that episode of Twilight Zone?!

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

There is this clip of Gerard doing what sounds kinda like vocal warm ups on stage from one of their old concerts. Like an arpeggio of La-La.

I've seen it a fair bit, even though I'm not sure what it's from. Probably a compilation video.

But the sound is what I think the inside my mind sounds like sometimes. Almost like elevator music.

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

Well....that wasn't fun.

I might be off socials for a few days as a mental break.

(Edit: Oh, right. I'm leaving for a trip this weekend anyway. I'll be busy.)