ATTENTION NODSQUAD MEMEBERS okayyy so didn’t really structure this message but it’s a really important message about nodsquad near the middle so if you don’t want to read about me skip to the middle and just read it please anyone who is a member of nodsquad or considers themselves a part of the community, remember we welcome everyone yeah so considering going to rehab, never thought i’d be saying this in my life but honestly the first chance i get at getting dope again I know i wouldn’t be able to say no because it gives me a fucking escape for at least an hour and i can feel Nikki next to me... but i know i can still feel her without the drug and have to learn to get thru this shit w/o using at least dope... if i don’t go to rehab i’m afraid i’ll truly end up killing myself. So yeah not doing this for sure, it’s probably at like a 40% chance rn but considering it... and picking a place that gives out methadone since i’m currently not really ready to get clean and need to be medicated at least that will help and then i’ll worry about the struggle of switching back to subs later... just need to start worrying about me and actually doing something because there’s really only one exciting thing going on in my life and i can’t even hang out with her until my car is fixed which my family will definitely do if i go to rehab. but yeah lmk what the nodsquad community thinks about this also i’m looking for some new mods to get it up and running. Nikki saved so many lives and maybe it was a gift for her to go early and not have to live a life of addiction and her gift was to go because she had already saved so many others... idfk how shit works... but it needs to be up and running because honestly we were the biggest advocates for helping others find clean, safe, and non reckless ways of using, along with narcan, we never judged users because we were addicts ourselves and we welcomed everyone, sober, clean, someone in the family is addicted so we can teach them to understand what that individual is going thru... i know for a fact Nikki saved 50+ lives from the stories on there. she would want me to continue to do so, so please if you are interested in becoming a mod please contact me, addict or clean you just need to be responsible and committed for the better. if you’re going to glamorize or criticize or be racist homophobic, sexist, judgemental of anything, or if you’re voting for trump please dont contact me. we just want kindhearted ppl to blog and answer questions responsibly... someone who has experienced it for at least 2+ years and knows what it feels like to truly be an addict. thank you all and i love you all for all the support. i still get messages everyday about nikki @sweet-despondency and i love it. i love you all i wouldn’t be here without you. time to get to work for Nikki everyone please, you know how much she loved you all.
