Ranboo: Do you ever think before you speak?
Tommy: Yeah, I think "Phil would be so mad" And then I say it.
------------------------------------------
Gavin: We all know you're in love with them.
Stephen: I'm not in love with Hosuh, who gave you guys that idea??
Pau: Gavin never said who.
Gavin:
Stephen:
Pau:
Maaz:
Wolfychu:
Stephen:
Stephen: Okay, hold on guys, JUST LISTEN-
--------------------------------------------
Wilbur: Babies kick pregnant moms all the time, but ohhhhhh I do it once and I'M the one who gets arrested.
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Kid Wilbur, Kid Tommy, and Kid Techno: *All screaming*
Philza: *Running into the room* What's wrong, Techno!?
Wilbur: Why are you asking him, we're all screaming!
Philza: Because he doesn't scream unless he's in danger. You two scream whenever you get the chance.
-------------------------------------------
Ranboo: Hey Techno! So how's that book you're writing going?
Techno: Eh, it's okay. But it was getting kinda boring so I decided to kill off one of the characters.
Ranboo:
Ranboo: B-but aren't you.
Ranboo: Writing an auto-biography???
----------------------------------------
Philza: I just asked Tommy where he thought people go when they die.
Philza: He said, "They get to be happy and in peace forever and ever." :)
Philza: And I asked Tubbo the same thing.
Philza: He looked at me, smiled, and screamed, "HELL!"
-----------------------------------------
Purpled: *Choking*
Tommy: Help! I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn't working!
Tubbo: Just turn it upside down and use the 6!
Tommy: Genius!
Ranboo: *Looks at the two with a disappointed expression*
Purpled: *Stops choking* What the fuck??
------------------------------------------
Mira Angel: Ranboo always looks so cool and calm and collected, I wonder how he does it.
Ranboo: *Internally, every day* fuck fuck fuCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-
-----------------------------------------
Wilbur: *After Tommy hit his head and passed out* Oh my god, he's bleeding!! Quick Fundy, call 911!!
Fundy: *Panicking* What's the number?
Tommy: *Opening his eyes* WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "WHAT'S THE NUMBER"???
------------------------------------------
*In Wilbur's car*
Jack (Manifold): What happens if you hit both the gas pedal and the brakes?
Tubbo: The car would take a screenshot.
Wilbur: Literally can both of you get the fuck out??
------------------------------------------
George: The only thing fucking me really hard is my life.
Sapnap: Not anymore ;)
-----------------------------------------
(Dan and Phil Games) Dan: Can Kahoot fuck off with the bright red screen after I get a question wrong? I don't need everyone behind me knowing I'm a fucking idiot.
-----------------------------------------
Jonah: Just learned that a dentist down the block was arrested for helping murderers bury dead bodies.
Jonah: Shows just how wrong you can be about people.
Jonah: I have been going to him for ten years.
Jonah: Never knew he was a dentist.
[AS I'M POSTING THIS NOW, MY BATTERY LIFE IS AT 69%]













