a post by Blast Off has been created, @ ReanimatedRussian , regarding a battle file recovered from a moment in the war. his posts are rare & few, only posting/reposting media promoting combaticon/Onslaught propaganda & pretty pictures taken while floating around in space. the few text only posts are reminders when certain space anomalies are going to take place, such as checking the sky for a full moon. he had to turn QRTs off on these posts as bots would not stop replying to it with 'YEAH. THERE *IS* a FULL MOON OUT TONIGHT! ..MINE!' & then showing their afts. it was very disgusting. blitzwing started it & will never be forgiven .
@ reanimatedrussian wrote : WHO DARE CUT THE AUDIO OF MY GLORIOUS (king) LEADER, ONSLAUGHT ? HE WAS NOT FINISHED SPEAKING. THIS IS INSULT TO HIS INTELLECTUALISM. ЭТО ОЧЕНЬ ПЛОХО. WHY IS MOVING PICTURE SO FAULTY ? IS THIS THE WONDERS OF 'TECHNOLOGY ?' THIS DISTURBS ME GREATLY. I DEMAND RETRIBUTION. PLEASE FIX THIS IN POST. YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES .
( all of his posts are written in all caps to avoid spelling errors since he cannot see the keys well even though Swindle zoomed the font in on max for him . he doesn't make many text posts due to this . embarrassed . )
- swindle commented : i can't believe my gorgeous golden gloves had to, eurgh, make BASIC CONTACT with an AUTOBOOB! & a BALD one at THAT!! this is why i use SUPERSHAMPOO! it's like human shampoo but for SHINY METAL! & when i say SHINY METAL, i mean SHIIII--EEEYEEE-KNEE! WOO! i'm having difficulties even typing this from the pristine glow of my perfect gloves, all thanks to SUPERSHAMPOO! sold in stores local to you. speaking of difficulties typing, blast off, to circle back on my previous email, this brand new optic application is SPARK CHANGING for a SPARE CHANGE price ! picture thi- ( he then proceeded to plug in many, many other side hustles here . )
gold digits snap, his inflection kept to a purposeful croon, rich & suave for the supporters, or the soon-to-be swayed .
" their business is banal, the solution is SIMPLE! . . it all stems from envy . see, they're all just upset that the big boss likes Me the best ."
dollar sign opticwear snaps toward blast off's direction before the shuttle shrunk down & broke his dominant silence for an uncharacteristic (if you didn't know him) ( which is easy to do, since he doesn't make being close to him an easily obtainable accomplishment ) bout of verbalized rebuttal .
" что? first of all, onslaught doesn't *have favorites. he analyzes us all equally . as a real level-helmed leader would with Real smarts. not just street smarts, * Swindle ."
Brawl, a bit baffled by this, gave a confused glance Blast Off's way, utilizing the sparse times where he could, since the shuttle was always so oversized . where was all that verbal vigor when it came to reassuring HIM, huh??!? this gestalt is SO UNFAIR !! & here blast off is, reciting the opposite?!? WHAT GIVES ! He moved his mouth to speak, but, thanks to its constant concealment, his brashness was brushed off with the smooth stroke of Swindle's speech.
" so the shuttle speaks! or, should i clarify for our lovely little anonymous audience here, seems to only find his vocalizer verifiabley active when the matter gravitates around our esteemed ' Great One .' "
swindle swooned, servos clasped as he fluttered his optic lenses, amping up the adoration he lacked for their leader .
The shuttle's frown was deep enough to stand out against the darkness that swirled within his space helmet.
" don't be upset at me because I have Morals, & not just Money. ты копилка . not a mech ."
the combaticon conman's tone twitched, hitching into something higher, Italian & Brooklyn bitten, frantic & harsher than the suave he forces to swoon his potential investors.
" DAT'S BULL & YEW KNOW DAT, BLAS."
gold rims spin on his shoulder plates, metal sheeted trench coat stocked full of false sells fly behind his advance, poking an expensive digit into the russian cosmonaut's chassis. Blast Off scoffed, resizing himself back to his original towering height.
Brawl balked, fighting to bring a word in, feeling left with no choice but to bellow. his signature.
" H-HEY!! IF YOU TWO CABRÓNS ARE GONNA FIGHT, AT LEAST LET ME TELL BOSS SO I CAN COME BACK & BREAK IT UP & LOOK LIKE i'M THE BETTER ONE HERE, BUENO?!"
Swindle rolled his dollar sign designs.
" yew Gotta stawp saying your shitty lil' strategies aloud, Brah, it's unseemingly ."
Even Blast Off chimed in, trying to set a comforting servo on the tank's shoulder. He was too high to reach comfortably, & opted to awkwardly holding onto his tank's cannon tip instead .
" agreed. onslaught should show y-"
"Wait-shuddupshuddupshuddup about onslaught for a sec-"
Swindle silenced, glaring before he turned back to the Askers, never one to dismiss an opportunity of profiting off other people. His frown was wiped clean of its shiny slate, smiling wide. His voice deepened back into its usual charming croon, any of its previous colloquium completely covered up. code switched.
" my Sincerest apologies about my- simple-minded Associates here, they're... new to negotiations. but me & you, doll?
we could spend the night away!!! .. literally, ha! Ha! Ha! . . how much you got on you ? "
even his laugh sounded rich, chiming like clattering coins with each chuckle.
" as long as i'm with you, there's no worries !"
His commercial Good-Time speech was a channel Brawl & Blast Off would rather switch. They shook their helms, stomping off to leave swindle solo.
" YOU COULD HEAR ME, RIGHT, BLAST? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE NO ONE COULD HEAR ME BACK THERE! & IT MADE ME FEEL UNHEARd! ¡CHINGADA MADRE! THIS SUCKS! ¡ESTOY FASTIDIADO! EVERYTHING SUCKS!"
