Whumpee getting shoved and slapped and slaps back and suddenly it's them vs whumper
Or whumpee saying something too hilarious at whumper's expense and whumper decided to beat the fuck out of them
Inside of a gang so the honor system says it's 1 on 1 but whumpee has no real chance because if they start winning, the gang will pull them off and hold them down so whumper can beat the shit out of them
Whumpee losing and whumper getting up, panting, and grabbing a whip, "you wanted to see what I'd do? Here's what I'll do"
Gang holding whumpee back, snarling and spitting insults and, maybe even just spit, as whumper hastily, angrily gets on their brass knuckles
Whumpee on the ground getting kicked by everyone's boots
"wait wait," boss pushes the gang back. "Let me." ->one harder kick that makes whumpee cry out
Whumper to whumpee who has given up, aiming a kick: "hold still." *Yelp of pain* "I'm not stopping until I get one good one in! Now hold still!"
a post by Blast Off has been created, @ ReanimatedRussian , regarding a battle file recovered from a moment in the war. his posts are rare & few, only posting/reposting media promoting combaticon/Onslaught propaganda & pretty pictures taken while floating around in space. the few text only posts are reminders when certain space anomalies are going to take place, such as checking the sky for a full moon. he had to turn QRTs off on these posts as bots would not stop replying to it with 'YEAH. THERE *IS* a FULL MOON OUT TONIGHT! ..MINE!' & then showing their afts. it was very disgusting. blitzwing started it & will never be forgiven .
@ reanimatedrussian wrote : WHO DARE CUT THE AUDIO OF MY GLORIOUS (king) LEADER, ONSLAUGHT ? HE WAS NOT FINISHED SPEAKING. THIS IS INSULT TO HIS INTELLECTUALISM. ЭТО ОЧЕНЬ ПЛОХО. WHY IS MOVING PICTURE SO FAULTY ? IS THIS THE WONDERS OF 'TECHNOLOGY ?' THIS DISTURBS ME GREATLY. I DEMAND RETRIBUTION. PLEASE FIX THIS IN POST. YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES .
( all of his posts are written in all caps to avoid spelling errors since he cannot see the keys well even though Swindle zoomed the font in on max for him . he doesn't make many text posts due to this . embarrassed . )
- swindle commented : i can't believe my gorgeous golden gloves had to, eurgh, make BASIC CONTACT with an AUTOBOOB! & a BALD one at THAT!! this is why i use SUPERSHAMPOO! it's like human shampoo but for SHINY METAL! & when i say SHINY METAL, i mean SHIIII--EEEYEEE-KNEE! WOO! i'm having difficulties even typing this from the pristine glow of my perfect gloves, all thanks to SUPERSHAMPOO! sold in stores local to you. speaking of difficulties typing, blast off, to circle back on my previous email, this brand new optic application is SPARK CHANGING for a SPARE CHANGE price ! picture thi- ( he then proceeded to plug in many, many other side hustles here . )
#WeFoundTheHeart (Red Mountain Waffle House ch. 2)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
"The fuck is that thing?" Jiub, from behind the grill, gestured at the pot that Sadara was adjusting on the front window-sill. "Looks awful."
The plant in question was definitely under the weather. The leaves were turning yellow towards the base, the red petals were looking dry, the white-ish ones weren't much better, and Sadara was hoping the nice bit of water she'd given it, combined with the nice spot at the window, might be just the thing to perk it back up. She'd considered repotting it--the pot was a bit cracked, and had some daedric-looking figure on it. 'N,' she was pretty sure, but it was faded enough that she couldn't be entirely sure.
"Google calls it a bleeding heart. I found it outside the apartment...it's not doing so well there so I thought the sun might be better for it here."
"You've got a black thumb, that thing's going to be dead inside of a week." Jiub laughed, flicked at his cigarette and went back to work on a scrambled egg, "Put it out of its misery."
"Says the man that once killed a dandelion." Sadara handed over a buoyant armiger's coffee and then looked back.
"Fuck you, it only died because my nix-hound decided that exact spot had to be where it pissed."
"Enough with the chit-chat, can I get my eggs?" a shirtless dunmer called from the table on the other side of the jukebox. Near the bathroom. Usually, Sadara was told, a problem table given the view it gave of the road. "Or are you two going to go at each other right here in front of Dagoth Ur and everybody?"
He looks like he doesn't get enough sleep, Sadara thought, Probably a tweaker. Skooma head, at the minimum.
"I've got about fifteen reasons why that'd be a bad idea," Jiub called out, and dished the eggs out and onto a plate next to the waffle.
Something told her to put on the corprus gloves, so she did, and then brought the plate over. "There you go. It's just been a slow night. People must be getting a good night's rest...unlike you. If you'd like some more coffee--"
"Coffee's the last thing I need right now. Maybe something...less...wake-y."
"We don't have any weed or we'd sell you some," Sadara replied, "And warm milk doesn't do anything except make you want to brush your teeth right that second. I could hit you over the head if you wanted."
"I've tried that. Doesn't work. All it did was give me a headache. I just...I got really bad insomnia." There was a pause, a look past her, and then, "Where'd you get the plant?"
"The plant? Oh, I found it outside my apartment. The sun's better here, so I set it up. Poor thing looks like it could use a little extra light. Better than it'll get on...well, you get the idea."
The conversation petered out and the dunmer paid his check. As she looked up he was snapping a picture of the plant with his phone, but when she was coming back with the receipt she realized he was making a grab for the plant.
"Hey, hey, that's MINE!" she snapped at him, "Fuck off, get your OWN plant!"
"It's not yours!" he snarled back as she was tugging the pot from his hands, "It's my LORD'S!"
One of the weaker blooms shed its bulb from all the motion and the shirtless dunmer moved back suddenly.
"Then tell your lord to come and get it!" she said, "And to ask politely instead of asking randos to do the job for him!"
For a moment the dunmer looked like he was going to give a really acidic reply, but when Sadara raised a hand like she was going to smack him--he stared at it just for a second, and then left.
"The fuck was that about?" Jiub called from the back.
"He says the plant belongs to 'his lord'...whatever the hell THAT means." Sadara put the plant back once she was sure the dunmer wasn't coming back.
(Within the hour #WeFoundTheHeart was trending on Morrotwitter, all accompanied by the same damn picture of the plant in the Waffle House window. Had it not been for what followed she would have been sure that she was hallucinating the whole thing.)
-------------------------
The shirtless guy wasn't the first one to try stealing the bleeding heart plant, and after the next four attempts Sadara felt it was pretty safe for her to assume he wouldn't be the last either. It wasn't just regular dunmer either, it was ash zombies, ash ghouls--It had gotten to the point where she considered telling them it died, but something always seemed to stop her doing that.
"You'd think it was moon-sugar cane, the way they're after it," Jiub said, passing her the bottle of sujamma over his shoulder, "Did you sprinkle it with skooma? Seriously, the fuck'd you do to it?"
"I didn't do anything to it! Well...I gave it some compost I got off Nibani, but...other than that, nothing."
"Heads up," Nibani said suddenly, from where she was cleaning up one of the corner tables, "Ascended sleeper. Stay polite, but don't talk to 'em much and--"
"Don't ask about his god. I know, I know." Sadara took a gulp from the bottle of sujamma and then breathed deep.
The ascended sleeper meandered in and took a seat in the middle of the dining area, right at the counter. There was a look in the direction of the bleeding heart plant. Or Sadara assumed it was a look, anyway, the damned thing didn't seem to have any eyes, what in the hell would it look WITH?
"Coffee, please."
The tone was...strange, not like any voice she'd ever heard. Like someone was putting it through an instrumental filter or something, maybe talking next to a fan.
"Dark? Any sugar, creamer?"
"Black."
"That's the best way," Sadara gave a slight smile, and moved over to the coffee maker to pour him out a cup. "You had a pleasant walk...ah...float here, I hope."
Laughter came, like an orchestra of slightly-off-key flutes. "Pleasant enough. I hear this is where I can see the Heart."
"What, the plant?"
Another couple customers came in. One was a buoyant armiger, off-duty from the look of him. He gave the ascended sleeper a strange look but went on and called for a steak with his waffle.
"Rare, medium, or get the hell out," Jiub said.
"What's wrong with well done?"
"What's wrong is it's a crime against fucking nature. A guar died to give you this meat and you want me to burn the shit out of it?" Jiub asked.
"I was going to ask for it medium anyway." A huff, and then a look back to the menu.
"Is it always like this?" the ascended sleeper asked. "I don't often come here, you see."
"That? That's nothing." Sadara laughed. "Now, what do you want to actually eat? Can you eat?"
"I can, yes. One gets the urge for something more than corprusmeat, now and then..."
"It doesn't sound like it would taste very good, but you must enjoy it or you wouldn't keep doing it."
After a short pause the sleeper said, "Some sausage and a waffle, if you don't mind."
Sadara gave a slight smile. The next fifteen minutes or so were actually rather pleasant--the ascended sleeper would glance at the bleeding heart plant now and then, but mostly he would watch her and make polite conversation. How long she had been in Morrowind, how she (disliked) the weather. All weird, unconnected questions, but she was glad to have one of them talking to her that didn't
She took a from the sujamma bottle when he'd turned his head to look at it.
"I've seen that mark a few times," the ascended sleeper said, "Strange that you should find it on a flowerpot of all things."
"Everyone likes to plant things." Sadara shrugged. "I usually have a black thumb, but..."
"But that plant seems to grow for you?"
"Yeah, it does. Strange, that. It's finally starting to look better."
It was a nice feeling, really. To have plant after plant after plant die--to the point, way back when she'd lived with Jiub the first time, he wouldn't even let her step inside the room he grew the weed in--and then to have something actually grow for her.
The sleeper gave several nods. "It means 'Neht,' if you wanted to know."
"What?"
"The symbol on the flowerpot. It means 'Neht.'"
"Huh. Interesting."
"Well--"
"Oh, come on!"
Sadara looked down the bar at the off-duty buoyant armiger. "Sir?"
"You're going to let that thing stay?"
"He's being more polite than you are," she replied curtly, "And his money spends just as well as yours."
"I spend my day defending the Ghostfence from that sort. Why does this place just--let them--"
"See previous answer. The only one being rude here is YOU, jackass."
That was when Nibani spoke up. "Either shut your mouth or leave, we don't want fighting here if we can help it."
"You two're awfully mouthy for someone who's cozying up to the Sixth House's monsters," the armiger stood and crossed the room. "Makes me think maybe you're involved with them too."
"Makes me think you're about to write a check your ass can't cash," Sadara replied. She took another sip of sujamma, and walked through the little gate at the end of the bar. "So do like the manager says, shut your mouth or leave."
"As if I'm going to let some Sixth House sympathizer--"
The buoyant armiger lunged. Sadara ducked his wild bolt of flame, and clocked him right in the jaw.
"You BITCH!"
Behind her was another shout, Jiub, who'd let out, "I JUST started that egg!"
Then, a rapid fire alarm.
Sadara sidestepped and grabbed the back of the armiger's armor, and with a great effort hauled him towards the door that she pressed open with her foot. "C'mon, I don't care if you paid or not. You're out, and if you try to come back in I'll drag you right back out again. Got it?"
The armiger did not, in fact, get it. He swung at her, got her hard in the shoulder, and found himself hit in the jaw once again, this time with the hand she wore the ring on. It left an immediate imprint, and would probably end up bruising, from what she could guess.
"Now are you going to leave, or am I going to have to kick you in the balls?"
It took the actual kick for him to figure out Sadara was serious.
---------------------------------------
The ascended sleeper had been very pleased with what he saw. Very pleased, indeed. He'd told them, hadn't he--those beneath him--that they could get more information if they just used their words and asked nicely. But then again, niceties weren't their strong point.
That was why HE had been sent.
Once #WeFoundTheHeart started going around, his lord had asked - discern the truth. See if what they were seeing (and hearing) was true. Don't attempt to steal the plant, it was too precious to risk in a tug-of-war situation. It was a delicate variety, after all, it couldn't hope to stand up to much of a stiff breeze this far away from its usual soil and tending.
"Well?"
His lord did not turn around, but that was usual. It was a privilege merely to be in his presence, to behold even part of his magnificence.
"It's true, lord Dagoth. The plant is there. And the one who chased off the dreamer claimed to have a black thumb, yet somehow the bleeding heart grew for her. And she was wearing...the ring."
"The ring?"
"THE ring, my lord, I saw it with my own eyes. Briefly--there was a bit of a scuffle, as a buoyant armiger decided he wanted to make trouble because I was allowed to dine there, and the one in question fought him half-drunk."
There was a pause, and then a sudden sharp intake of breath.
"Nerevar's ring, his plant that I've kept alive for these centuries...and now you tell me there was a drunken brawl."
