Well hey guys! Here’s my most recent fic! This is a curveball for sure, but I recently started obsessing over The Umbrella Academy and decided to write a fic! This idea came to my head randomly, so I figured I should write about it.
I’m undecided if I will take requests for TUA in the near future, but if y’all like this one, I will consider it for sure 💕😊 Please enjoy!
✨Please note I am only in season 2, so please don’t try to spoil anything past that ✨
⚠️Minor spoilers for season 1/early season 2 ahead!⚠️
Warnings: Minor spoilers for season 1/2, mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, brief violence, lots of tickles. Ignore the timeline of the show because I know I’m wayyyy off 😂
Words: 3284 Lee Diego X Ler Klaus (Ben and Five make appearances)
Sobriety Brothers
Ever since he was ripped away from Dave, Klaus struggled with alcohol and drug abuse.
Okay. That was kinda a lie.
Klaus had almost always struggled with his addictions, but it definitely got worse since his lover was killed. But who could blame him?
Klaus’s head was always filled with the moans and groans of the dead, and the numbing of drugs and alcohol seemed to be one of the few things that gave him some peace and quiet.
Klaus knew Ben disagreed with him, and so did most of his family. Ben told Klaus he needed to learn how to block the voices on his own without poisoning his body. Although Ben was probably his closest friend, Klaus secretly enjoyed being able to block him out while passed out drunk in the bathtub.
It wasn’t until Klaus had been robbed for the 3rd time that week that he decided he needed help.
Klaus had woken up in nothing but his underwear with a black eye and nearly broken nose in the back of some sketchy alleyway. Klaus had no clue how he ended up here, but thankfully Ben was able to fill in the gaps.
Klaus typically was not embarrassed to be without clothing (hence the crop tops and holey pants) but for some reason, he was absolutely terrified of facing his family this time.
Sneaking in through the back door, Klaus made his way through the house to find Grace. She confirmed that nothing was broken and gave him an ice pack for his injuries.
A few days later, once Klaus was able to conceal most of the bruising with concealer, he decided to confide in one of his siblings for help. And frankly, the only one he trusted with these types of situations.
As much as he loved and cared for his other siblings, none of them could help as much as Diego could.
Vanya was always timid and strayed away from the bunch. Klaus now realized this was mostly Dad’s fault, but as a child, he had no clue. Vanya was very thoughtful and cared for him recently, but Klaus never wanted to dump his problems into her lap. She was far too kind to need that much emotional baggage.
Luther was number one and very much acted as such. He was a goody two shoes, always wanting to prove he was a leader. Klaus never felt like he could bring problems to him either because instead of getting a hug, he would probably get a lecture.
Allison was by far a close second. She was also kind and thoughtful, but also very distracted with her current life. Especially now with the apocalypse threatening the world and her daughter.
One time, later in their adult life, Klaus had asked Allison to Rumor away his addictions (and get him more money, but that was beside the point). Allison refused and told Klaus he needed to deal with it on his own. Rumoring only made things worse. She also threatened to kick his ass if he asked her again.
And then there was Five. That little bastard. Even as kids, Five was a grumpy, sarcastic, know it all. Five was hard for Klaus to talk to sometimes because most of the things he said made no sense. (looking back, that was probably intentional). Five also probably had an alcohol problem, but Five would never admit it.
Diego seemed to be the best help. In the past, Klaus has asked Diego to tie him up and let him fight the withdrawal symptoms that way. Klaus shivered at the thought of doing that again.
The way Diego reacted to his strange requests was the reason why Klaus trusted in him. There was no shame, no mocking or sassy remarks. Diego just simply grabbed his rope and told Klaus to lead the way.
Before Klaus left his room to search for his brother, he was halted by a grunting sound.
“Something you would like to say Benny Boy?” Klaus drawled out with a smirk.
Ben rolled his eyes at the nickname.
“Are you really that dense Klaus? I told you those drugs do nothing but poison your mind”.
Klaus put a hand over his heart and fluttered his eyes.
“Brother, you wound me deeply. I am not dense. What gives with the ‘tude?”
“Seriously. You haven’t noticed?”
“Noticed what!?”
“Diego is in just as much need of help as you are. Instead of going to him for help, I think you should help each other.”
Klaus crossed his arms while he pondered this information.
Ben muttered some insult under his breath and walked over to Klaus.
“Oh shit. I am an asshole, Ben”
Ben nodded and gestured for him to continue.
“He has been a lot more testy and impatient ever since he lost Eudora. Cha-cha and Hazel haven’t helped much either.”
Ben let out a sign.
“You’ve been too drunk or high to notice the full picture, but yeah that’s it. You aren’t the only one with an alcohol problem.”
Klaus raised an eyebrow.
“Diego has been drinking himself silly these past few days. While you have been mourning the loss of Dave, he’s been mourning the loss of Eudora. I know how much you trust Diego, and I’m pretty sure he trusts you too. Being tied up helps you detox, but that won’t work for him”.
Klaus nodded in agreement. Losing Dave was absolutely horrible. And he knew exactly how Diego felt. Especially when her killers were out and about also hunting for Five.
“Okay, Benny. Have any ideas on how to help us both?”
Ben smirked.
“A competition”
Anyone who knew Diego knew just how competitive that man was. He was bad as a child and only got worse as an adult.
As kids, he always made sure he was the first one awake, the first one to meals, and definitely the first to train. If he successfully pinned you, you never heard the end of it.
Klaus on the other hand was way too free-spirited to be overly competitive. He was mostly a peacekeeper and didn’t try to get involved in heated arguments. But Klaus was also knowingly and purposely annoying. He enjoyed pestering his siblings and making them feel crazy. Whenever Diego was standing on his soap box, Klaus made sure to knock him off of it, even if it caused Diego to fall on top of him.
Taking a swig of the closest alcohol to him, (he wasn’t ready to start sobriety just yet)
Klaus went in search of Diego.
****
Diego was miserable. He had a throbbing headache, a sliced finger, and a broken heart. Although he and Patch didn’t end on great terms, he still felt responsible for not protecting her well enough. He had loved her, and now she was gone without him being able to make things right between them.
Diego knew he probably needed to watch his alcohol intake, but he just didn’t care at the moment. The alcohol helped fuel his anger as he plotted his revenge on cha-cha and Hazel.
Just as Diego was about to get up and use the bathroom, he heard shuffling outside his door.
Diego grabbed a knife, poised and ready to fling it at any time.
“Diego, I know you have a knife. It’s just me, your buddy Klaus!”
Diego instantly relaxed and opened the door.
Klaus was in his usual attire; a crop top ripped jeans, and barefoot. Diego noticed the bruising around his eye and nose but decided to not question him about it yet.
“Oh, brother! I missed you! Care to chat?”
Diego rolled his eyes.
“Klaus, I saw you just the other day when you snuck in through the back door. One night stand go wrong?” He teased.
Uncharacteristically though, Klaus didn’t chuckle. Stoic as can be he answered.
“Oh um, no. Robbed actually. For the third time. Assholes took my favorite shirt. Not that it matters because I stole it from a st-“
Diego cut Klaus off.
“You were robbed three times this week and this is the first you bring it up? What the hell Klaus! I can help protect you ya know.”
Klaus shrugged.
“I figured with the apocalypse it doesn’t really matter because we’re probably all gonna die anyway.” Klaus moved to sit on Diego’s bed, crossing one leg over the other.
Diego still processing all that had been said sat at his desk.
“So anyway. Enough about me. I want to talk about you bro.”
Diego looked up and made eye contact with Klaus.
“Me? What about me?”
“Oh don’t be so dense!” Klaus looked over across the room.
“Did I use that term correctly Ben?”
Diego glared at Klaus.
“Klaus, watch it, or else I won’t hesitate to give you another black eye. I can’t hit Ben remember.”
Klaus gulped and then flipped off the space in front of the closet. Diego really wished he could hear Ben sometimes.
“Anyway, as I was saying brother. You and I are more similar than you think. I drink alcohol because I miss Dave and you drink alcohol because you miss Eudora”.
Diego flinched at the mention of her name but didn’t say anything as Klaus continued.
“What I’m trying to say, is I think we need to help sober each other up. What do ya think? Bros before hoes right?”
Diego put down the knife he was fidgeting with. Klaus had a good point. He knew Klaus struggled with addiction issues, but never once considered the fact that his coping methods weren’t exactly kosher either.
More importantly, he knew deep down he wouldn’t be able to fight cha cha and hazel drunk.
“Okay, Klaus. Yes, I may be drinking too much. And no, I will not allow you to tie me up to potentially fulfill any of your kinky fantasies.”
“Silly Diego! You are not in any of my fantasies. Ben suggested we have a competition of sorts. The first one to cave and drink has to do whatever the winner wants as punishment. Buy dinner, tidy up the house, prank Five, yadda yadda yadda.”
Diego contemplated this for a sec. Klaus was way more unhinged than he was. How hard could it be? Besides, knowing Klaus he probably wouldn’t last an hour.
“Okay, man. I’m in. But after I win, just know that I am definitely tying you up because you will need a serious detox.”
Klaus chuckled and rose from the bed.
“It is on pretty boy”
Diego flicked Klaus on the nose and the two of them prepared for a couple of rough days.
*****
Diego was actually shocked that Klaus had lasted through the night. The two brothers had emptied their rooms of all alcohol to ensure neither one was drinking during the night. Pogo offered to be a neutral viewer and watch over the bar.
The other siblings had an inkling that something was going on between the pair, mostly because their emotions and attitudes were much shorter and meaner than usual. But no one knew the details. (Besides Ben of course).
The night was harder than Diego imagined. He had only been drinking for a few days, but being cut off sucked. His headache didn’t go away, and he was very irritable. Worst of all, he really wanted a drink. But his pride wouldn’t allow him to lose. Not yet anyway.
Klaus on the other hand had done something he never thought he would do willingly. Knowing he was unable to control himself, he had bribed Five with a couple of bags of marshmallows to lock him in the mausoleum for the night.
If Five was worried, he didn’t act like it. He just took the marshmallows, locked the doors, and didn’t look back.
Klaus soon regretted this decision, but having Ben with him this time, made it much more bearable. Ben keep reminding him that the soberer he became, the more likely he was to see Dave again.
Klaus held onto that feeling of hope, although he did feel slightly guilty that Diego didn’t have that option.
****
The two competitors met each other in the kitchen for breakfast. Both were worse for the wear. Not much was exchanged between the two, but just enough to know neither had cracked yet.
Klaus left the kitchen first, deciding he needed a bath. Diego followed soon after and decided to clean his room.
Diego was always one who typically kept his room clean, but after not living at the house for a while, he realized he had some childhood stuff to go through.
It took him a good portion of the day to sort through boxes and throw some stuff away. As Diego was rummaging through one of his drawers, he stumbled across something unexpected.
A flask.
Diego looked around to make sure no one was watching and sniffed it. Of course, it was full. He forgot that he had hidden it here after Dad's funeral. Deciding it was best to dump it, Diego emptied the contents down the sink and put the flask in his pocket.
****
When evening came again, it was just Klaus and Diego. Both sitting on the couch watching a rom-com. Both were still a little on edge, but at least the headaches and sweating had gone away.
Neither knew where the others were, but neither really cared either. Diego had made a bowl of popcorn and Klaus made each of them virgin strawberry daiquiris.
When the move was close to the end, Klaus reached for the remote and accidentally knocked over his glass. Thankfully it was empty, but it made a loud clang noise as it hit the table.
Klaus quickly apologized and glanced over at Diego who had jumped in his seat.
That’s when Klaus noticed something shiny sticking part way out of Diego’s pocket. It didn’t take a genius to know what it was.
“Diego! I can’t believe you! And during our movie night nonetheless!” Klaus patronized.
Klaus immediately dove across the couch and tried reaching for Diego’s pocket. Diego, who was a little slow to react, leaned back just as Klaus lunged. Instead of Klaus’s fingers hitting the flask, his aim was higher and poked Diego right in the ribcage. Diego let out a loud squeak and quickly cowered.
Both remained motionless for a few seconds while trying to figure out what the hell happened.
Klaus’s mouth formed into a smile. Not just a normal smile, but a mischievous one.
“I agree Ben. I also forgot about Diego’s sensitivities. Only fair to take advantage, especially with a cheater in our grasp.”
Diego panicked in his bout of confusion and tried to scramble away. Tickling always rendered Diego useless and once Klaus was going, it was hard to stop him.
“I-I don’t know wha-what your talking about Klaus! I-I didn’t cheat!”
Klaus tsked at his brother.
“First you cheated, and now you lie straight to my face? As the winner of our competition, I sentence you to a bout a tickles to pay for your crime. That will help you detox!”
Diego, now more confused than ever, attempted to roll off the couch and run away from Klaus to no avail. Klaus had the advantage as he quickly pinned Diego by landing on his back in his attempt to roll over. Klaus wasted no time digging his nimble fingers back into Diego’s ribcage to render him useless.
Diego started giggling maniacally and attempted to curl into a ball. Diego’s laughter was music to Klaus’s ears as he continued with his attack. Testing the waters, Klaus slid his fingers between the couch and Diego’s belly. He quickly started pinching the newfound flesh and giggled out-loud at the new string of insults and squeals he elicited from his brother.
Diego looked so adorable with his eyes wrinkled and a light coloring on his cheeks. His smile was genuine even though the laughter was forced. Klaus knew they were both enjoying this wonderful distraction, even if neither would admit it.
Diego snorted when Klaus “accidentally” dipped his finger into his belly button.
Klaus glanced behind the couch at seemingly nothing while he continued to tear Diego apart.
“Oh, that’s right! His belly button is another sensitive spot. Thanks for the reminder Ben!”
With this, Klaus wasted no time in working his fingers into Diego’s soft belly again, while also using his other hand to continue on his ribs. Diego never failed to snort each time that evil finger wormed into his navel. With Klaus squishing his back, Diego wasn’t able to arch his back away from the ticklish torture.
“Kl-Klaus! No! Hahaha, stop it! Whahahat the hell man!”
Diego was embarrassed at how quickly he caved. As children, it was no secret that Diego was by far the most sensitive. Tickle fights were not a super common occurrence, but were very entertaining when they did happen. And Diego was one of his family's favorite victim. Whether it be the loud laughter they always extracted from him or just how easy it was to get him giggling, his siblings loved to mess with him. Ben was the typical instigator, which is probably why he was feeding Klaus all his sensitive spots.
Bastard.
“Do you regret it now Diego?? Don’t you know alcohol is bad for you!” Klaus teased as he was now alternating between strumming his ribs and pinching his sides.
Not only was Diego giggling like a madman, but he was also confused as hell.
“KLAUS WHAHAT DO YOU MEAHEHEN!” Diego screeched out.
Klaus decided to give Diego a breather and switched to lightly tracing his nails against his ears and neck, just to keep him giggling but not enough to kill him.
“Diego, you really are dense! I saw that flask you are hiding in your pocket. So did Ben. He’s nodding in agreement I swear on my life.”
Then it clicked. The flask. Of course, Klaus had spotted it! And of course, he had no clue he had dumped the contents.
“Klaus! I dumped it! Swear to God!! Please just stop!“
Klaus immediately ceased after hearing the serious tone in his brother's voice. After his giggling and laughter had died down, Diego explained everything.
“Oh wow. I’m sorry Diego. I saw the flask and just assumed. I’m proud of you for dumping it, I know I wouldn’t have. Looks like the competition is still on then!”
Diego sat up from his seat.
“You know Klaus? I think I’d like to challenge you to a new competition.”
Klaus tilted his head, waiting for his brother to continue.
“How much you wanna bet that I also remember all of your sensitive spots?”
Klaus didn’t even have time to scramble away before Diego pounced. The room was soon filled with more shrieking and giggling as Diego took his time getting sweet sweet revenge.
The two knew they would have to face reality eventually, but why not do it with clear heads and smiles plastered to their faces?
Eternal sobriety was never going to happen, but knowing that they could overcome the temptation of over drinking was a huge accomplishment in itself. Especially knowing that neither had to fight that battle alone.
****
Hours later when Five finally arrived back at the mansion, he stumbled across the two brothers sleeping on the couch: Klaus’s head in Diego’s lap and Diego’s upper body draped over Klaus’s midsection.
Five just chuckled to himself and draped a blanket over the two of them. If ever questioned, he would swear on his life that he didn’t do it.
Unbeknownst to him, Ben was watching the whole thing, and would definitely be telling Klaus.
