Boxcars is experiencing the same feeling that he’s been experiencing since the moment he ended up here. This emotion is fucking hatred. Half an hour ago, crouching in his apartment, arranging the third of his seven purchased doilies on the floor of the cabinet under the kitchen sink, he was fucking whacked with an all consuming craving for a shitty boardwalk hot dog from the mob operated hot dog stand on Midnight City’s boardwalk, and god damn it, he was going to get a shitty hot dog. Maybe not from Midnight City, but for chrisssakes there’s gotta be a shitty boardwalk hot dog around here. Iswhooza Radiowhazzit is clearly some fucking section of Hell, they’ve got to have a shitty boardwalk hot dog in Hell.
As it turns out, there is a boardwalk in Iswhooza Radiowhazzit, and it does have a hot dog stand, though he’s pretty sure the teenager working it isn’t involved with the mob. When he’s handed the hot dog, Boxcars actually starts to feel hope that he might enjoy something for once in this tortured fucking existence.
Then, as he’s walking away, he takes a bite, and the hot dog tastes like real pork.
He throws it into the ocean.
“THE FUCK WHAT KINDA TENTACLED SLIVER OF THE FURTHEST FUCKING RING IS THIS HELLPIT MAKES ME FUCKING SICK FER CHRISSAKES YOU WANT A SHITTY HOT DOG THEY CAN’T EVEN DO THAT SHIT RIGHT GOD FUCKING DAMN IT THINK I TASTED SOMETHING LEGAL IN THERE CAN’T A MAN ENJOY SOME FUCKING GARBAGE IN HIS LIFE I’D TAKE THE FUCKING HORSES AND THEIR FUCKING MANURE BASED CIVILIZATION OVER WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT WAS CALL THAT OCEAN POLLUTION GOD FUCKING DAMN IT”
He throws his hat down and god damn it, Boxcars, you fucking idiot, you’re next to the ocean, the wind’s fucking crazy here, it starts blowing away, that thing is fine Italian silk you told Droog to get the good shit and he yoinked you a hat from a slightly worse brand than the one he got his from.
It lands on the head of the ugliest robot he’s ever seen, on top of a far worse hat that is inevitably going to get clumps of cotton blend all over his fucking HAT. This is the worst day of Boxcars’s life.
“NUTS AND BOLTS IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME MY FUCKING HAT RIGHT FUCKIN NOW I’M GONNA TEAR THIS BOARDWALK UP BOARD BY GODDAMN BOARD AND DROWN US ALL SERVE THE FUCKING SHARKS SOME IDIOT CHOWDER”