[ENTERTAINMENT] KILLER KATHEDRAL CON CAUSES CALAMITOUS CONVALESCENCE
via Lucealux Tenebri, Guiding Star News A manhunt currently coordinated by DDS Corporate Security is on the search for SWOLK celebrity "Shaman" Nakmor Narstak, a heavyweight wrestler who has been identified as the potential vector for a disease currently raging through the entertainment conglomerate's spectator sport roster. Absent from this list of victims is DDS CEO Jorgal "Dwick" Lenny, the suspected secret identity of wrestling personality "The Beast" and a figure who has been conspicuously absent from the public eye since his graphic defeat by SWOLK wrestler "Captain Lumpus." As of this morning, Mr. Dwick's public relations department released a statement confirming his contraction of the disease. "Mr. Dwick has been struggling against this illness for the better part of two years," confirmed his personal assistant, Prundil Bodum. "It has been his goal to prevent this malady from affecting the day-to-day welfare of the Dwickcast Syndykyt. However, due to his declining health, and in the interest of assisting his treasured wrestling staff, Mr. Dwick is cooperating fully with the authorities. He is determined to see Mr. Narstak brought to justice." Narstak, 417, is wanted on multiple charges of fraud, malpractice, and conducting Nakmor shamanic rituals without a sponsor, having originally been hired by Mr. Dwick as a private health consultant. Narstak is not an accredited shaman, has been fiercely disavowed by the Nakmor clan of Tuchanka, and peddles idiopathic "blood-based" cures now suspected to be the disease's vector. “He is not one of ours,” states Nakmor Apert, an officially accredited Nakmor Shaman who noted that such offenses are punished by execution in his homeland. "Ours is a stern task. When we abdicate our responsibility, we renounce our right to exist." The disease, currently known only as the Taint, causes a gradual shutdown of krogan regenerative abilities and rapid-onset weight loss, preventing even simple wounds from healing and interfering with basic digestion. It has wreaked havoc among the SWOLK cast, with 37 krogan connected to the show being hospitalized due to the illness. These krogan are currently under quarantine at Declan Xaviar Memorial Hospital, with twelve currently in "serious" condition due to multiple organ failures. Nakmor Narstak is approximately 1.9 meters tall, has dark brown plating with a yellow spiderweb crack formation on his crest, blue eyes, and was approximately 311 kg as of his last weigh-in. Narstak is considered "Tuchankan and extremely dangerous" and should not be confronted if found. Witnesses are instead encouraged to contact DDS CorpSec's Emergency Services to ensure the apprehension of this individual. "If you are a krogan and are suffering from malnutrition, decreased regenerative abilities, and general weakness, we strongly encourage you to contact Declan Xavier Memorial for assistance," said Aula Sovenis, a representative for the hospital. "We are working around the clock to discover a cure for this malady."
