Jesus: Listen, Devadatta just needs to learn some morals and values!
Ananda: LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME THERE'S A GOD.
Devadatta: Hey, he made me in his own image.
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Jesus: Listen, Devadatta just needs to learn some morals and values!
Ananda: LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME THERE'S A GOD.
Devadatta: Hey, he made me in his own image.
Jesus about Devadatta: Buddha, no offence, but he's an asshole! He's purposely stabbed you on more than one occasion!
Buddha: Well some of those stabbings were accidental!
Jesus:
Buddha: Okay, well, I know for a fact the third time was accidental.
Devadatta, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.
Mara texting the group chat: I'm going to the store what flavour of ice cream do you guys want?
Lucifer: Moose Tracks is good!
Devadatta: What the fuck is that!?
Lucifer: How dare you insult Moose Tracks!
Devadatta: No no no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour? It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.
Mara and Lucifer: What?
Devadatta: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?
Mara: You done now?
Devadatta: Yeah ok.
Mara:
Lucifer:
Devadatta: Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?
Moggallana: So, you're driving, Lord Buddha and Devadatta walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Sariputta: Oh, that's easy, obviously Devadatta!
Moggallana: THE BREAKS SARIPUTTA YOU HIT THE BREAKS.
Buddha: In my experience, Devadatta can be a very dangerous man, so it's important to take all necessary precautions when approaching him—
Jesus, blowing an air horn in Devadatta’s direction: GET FUCKED.
Devadatta: Buddha, my old friend!
Buddha: I'm pretty sure you tried to kill me on multiple occasions.
Devadatta: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you better!
Devadatta: I'm so tired of this life. I wish to be a Roomba, I want knives tapped to me, and I want to be set loose.