#tafsb content

[takeafuckingsipbaze]

I need to be real with yall about something.. This film franchise is absolutely Terrified of Daisy Ridley's neck. It scares them to death because it's an absolute powerhouse of unstoppable might and there's no telling what kind of marvels she can perform with it. So they try and cover it up with geometry and call it fashion or whatever. But we know it's there!! Daisy Ridley's neck is Here, it's Immeasurably Powerful, and there is No Way to stop it.

[takeafuckingsipbaze]

Finally saw Solo

LANDO HAD CARNAL RELATIONS WITH THAT DROID AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER

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An interesting Nativity scene down the street!

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Contemplating w/ my friends about why the fuck darth kyle had to be shirtless in that one part

"He's on the shitter." "Shirtless??!!" "Shirtless on the potty." "He gets sweaty!" "'I wear a lot of black, Rey!! It gets warm!!!'"

[takeafuckingsipbaze]

Tlj hot takes:

***SPOILER WARN!!***

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Uhhhhhh mostly I just felt like there were too many storylines and we didn't get much quality time with the characters, it was a long ass movie but still felt rushed, too many cuts between groups of characters. I wanted to spend more time with the characters I love and I wanted more time to get to know the new guys. The hacker dude isn't even named in the film (I loved him. His name is DJ apparently) ... I know there's loads of deleted scenes which is kinda rude bc it's "buy the Blu-ray" bait and like.. just make a movie in the time that you have, people do it all the time without a fuckton of extras lol

I love Rose and I love Leia's GF, loved the hacker, always love the cantina scene (space Vegas in this case. U know, the part of a SW film that's alien crowd scenes and recreation and world building). Snoke shit was anticlimactic as hell, I'm trying to just roll with the fact that we have Zero backstory or motivation for him, no idea what his deal is, but it's annoying. Kylo sucks more than ever and is the least interesting or sympathetic character in the entire franchise, including Jar Jar Binks, I hate that Rey's arc was basically just about him (or at any rate had to involve him constantly).

Rey and Especially Finn fell flat, I think. Poe got an arc, Rey was supposed to have an arc but it was the most one dimensional morality dilemma ever. Finn was robbed, my dude didn't get to do anything that wasn't totally Rey-motivated or handed to him by Rose. Again, I love Rose and I loved their shenanigans as a whole, I also love that Finn loves Rey,, but he didn't get a single moment of like figuring stuff out for himself or learning about himself. Also his Phasma battle was way too short and I'm still mad that he didn't get a lightsaber.

I liked Luke and I LOVED classic goofy Yoda omFGG and Salt Hoth was physically beautiful to look at, that whole action sequence was a treat for the eyes and I love all the new Pokemon we met. Overall, it was a fun movie, but not lastingly impactful. We'll see how future viewings strike me

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"put your shirt back on Kyle it's not that deep"

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Don't let me forget to make a post about Padme actually being an unfashionable grunge girl bc it's the truth. In private she wears ugly bib overalls and shirts that are like 60% deoderant calcification and gigantic floppy scrunchies and Anakin is just Wild about her

[takeafuckingsipbaze]

alright here’s my reboot of Star Wars episodes 5-6 as an action and coming of age story like.. kinda romcom & buddy film....... in space. to review: insert fraught but petty Han and Lando drama (they are Taking a Break ) and Han fending off the advances of the Skywalker twins (bc you bet my gay ass watching this shit as a kid thought Luke had a crush on Han) 

Ok like let both twins learn a lesson about being their actual age, Luke learns he needs to grow up a bit and get over his puppy crush and seize his damn destiny or whatever, Leia learns that she’s not as grown as she thinks she is/has had to act and needs to not take the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders or chase after older men just bc the ones her age are immature rn. 

YOu know what also. Chewie is a very important part of this , not to get Serious all of a sudden but legitimately it’s fucked up that Chewie, a clone wars vet, 100s of years old, a member of a species that the Empire literally reclassified as non-sentient holy Shit, is just a Jokes character? can we have some Real Chewie hours please, he’s not an animal sidekick, it’s so so fucked up that he’s basically scooby doo. 

I’ve always been a Han/Chewie stan but that’s not an endgame ship, for this new movie i am making, Chewie is Han’s rebound and Chewie is aware of this but is fond of Han and over time like falls out of attraction with him and into a protective and friend-fraternal relationship. Han resents this because he doesn’t wanted to be treated like the manchild he’s acting like (this was a sore point with Lando) so he’s always giving Chewie a hard time and being an ass. Cue the Skywalker twins and fending off the childish and awkward advances of teenagers and that’s how Han starts to understand where Chewie’s coming from and also finally starts on the next stage of his life and stops being such a manchild. This development is eventually how he and Lando will reconcile

Chewie gets close with 3PO and R2 bc they’re sentient beings that the empire/much of society considers to be less or non sentient and they also have the clone wars in common (3PO gets a brain blast and remembers some shit idk) and all have longer lifespans than humans, they have some good philosophy talks and bond and Chewie helps the droids figure out their droid relationship. Chewie is sorta left 3rd wheeling again so he has to figure himself out and the next 3 movies are Chewie-centric freedom fighting and soul searching . thanx for reading