#take it?

[tinkertailorsoldierguy]

i wanna see the alternate reality where shirley is the one to open this door

[reylay]

meeeeh

[pixelburied]

sometimes i get pissed when i remember that after netflix’s crackdown on password-sharing, their subscription doubled. Like… the evil mega corporation is winning you guys…

[ibidflash]

it's weird how all my life i was told not to put personal information on the internet and make sure if i do random strangers can't access it. and then i got to uni and someone (like a member of staff) bitched at me for not having a "professional" social media acc. and now i have to have a twitter account with my full name and where i study on it. and it has to have my actual contact info on it. like that feels fucked up to me

[bleusarcellewrites]

Knowing Fear

Lance knows fear.

He knows it from his childhood; back when there had been monsters under the bed or when he had been stuck in high places with no escape except his dad’s arms, or even in the overbearing silence that always comes on a waiting room from the hospital as they wait for news about his grandma.

He knows it like the palm of his hand. It’s an emotion he’s familiar with because he has been taught. Lance knows the purpose of every single one of his fear and why they come. He understand that fear is elemental in life; to grow, to learn, to live.

‘There’s nothing wrong with being scared,’ his dad had told him that night in the hospital, right after grandma had gone to sleep with a steady healthy heartbeat and Lance confessed through sobs he couldn’t see her in fear she will disappear out of nowhere, ‘as long as it doesn’t change who you are.’

His dad had explained shortly after he was done crying; saying that his fear of losing his grandma was valid but it shouldn’t stop him from expressing his other emotions. He had told him he should cherish every moment and let the other person known how important they are to him.

Lance took it to heart.

So, yes, Lance knows fear. It’s something that digs inside his bones before every mission, making him always to steal a few last glances towards his teammates as they go their separate way to their ziplines. It’s there when he bites his lip in worry and swallows his words because he’s afraid they would be the last.

He doesn’t think he could live with himself if they do turn out to be the last ones he ever says to them. So, he keeps quiet. Burying them deeper inside him as the days go by and turn into weeks and then months.

It’s until a particular mission, the one that had turned from a sleath type to a living hell under merely ticks. The mission where Shiro lost his prosthetic mid-battle, Hunk almost exploded and Pidge was stabbed in the stomach, barely making it to the crypod after they had to bring her back to life once.

After that, the concern and pure love he felt for his teammates, his second family, quickly overpowered his raw fear and Lance never went quiet again.

Except to Keith.

Keith who was no longer a mere name in the fighter pilot’s list. Keith was no longer the mighty unreachable rival.

Keith who was now a teammate and friend. Keith who gives every fiber of himself to help and protect those he loves.

Keith who Lance has yet to confess to.

And Lance allows fear to take over all over again.

He fears of rejection and pity. He fears of could’ves and what ifs. Words left unsaid and feelings never to be shown haunt him at night.

Lance fears for Keith; where in every mission he’s wondering if it will be their last and he won’t get a chance to tell him, to reassure him that he cares.

He tries, he really does tries to show it in ways that he won’t need words. Before missions where he will nod at Keith with a soft smile and a thumbs up, or after missions with a pat on the back and a mumble of ‘good job’ leaving his lips.

Doesn’t feel like enough. Not when Keith looks back at him with a soft smile but his eyes look sad and resigned. It’s there in the corner of his eyes everytime Lance addresses the team entirely and tells them how much they mean to him.

The others would smile fondly at him, used to the words and happy to hear them time and time again, most of the time replying back the sentiment, but Keith always stays quiet, in the back of the group, as if he doesn't deserve to get those words directed at him.

It keeps him up at night, wondering where does the look even comes from and why.

‘Next time.’ Lance would think, eyes closed and heart hammering against his chest at the mere thought of saying those three same words he says to the team but to Keith only, ‘Next time, for sure.’

But next time came and went, the one after the last following quickly and without a warning, his chances ran out.

“One more.” Lance whispers quietly under his breath as the grip around Red’s handles tighten without his knowledge, “One more, please. I’m beggin’ to whatever’s out there, just gimme one more chance.”

Seconds turns into minutes and then what feels like hours as he waits.

“Keith, please.”

[hatchibomitar]

[baekuras]

Pericopter