I'm starting this off without any real motive...I just know that I felt like writing. I felt like spilling my thoughts out to you, whoever is reading this. I've realized over the past week or so that I've become a version of myself that I never really thought I'd be. I became numb to the world. I stopped caring about what was really important and was kind of just floating through life. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt as if you weren't really doing anything in your life and that you were just floating on by? Like nothing you did mattered and maybe no one would even be affected if you were to disappear. That's who I was becoming over the past few months. Just a shadow. Just a person in the background. Not really significant or important. I almost lost myself over the past year because I got caught up with the wrong people. I let my heart lead me where I initially never wanted to be. But lately, I've been coming back to myself and the person I want to be. I have to admit that it is such a struggle. I constantly feel as if I don't belong and that I'm meant to be somewhere else. Perhaps in a different era or just a different place. I feel as if I annoy or burden people, and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want to feel so negative about myself. This is why I bury myself in books, movies, and television shows...because I want to escape reality. But I'm promising myself to make my reality better than the things I dream about. I just need a little help along the way...
-Tanya