spending new years with peter parker . . . where you'd have a small family dinner with peter & may. where you'd show up early to help may set up the table, and so peter can spend more time with you. where he'd wrap his arms around your waist while you arrange the plates and utensils, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he whispers things to you, his voice tickling you.
spending new years with peter parker . . . where may would share embarrassing stories of peter when he was a kid at the dinner table, giving you more stuff to 'blackmail' peter with later. you laugh, almost choking on your beans as peters face turns bright red.
spending new years with peter parker . . . where when everyone's distracted by the countdown happening on tv, peter takes you for a night swing to the empire state building so you can see the fireworks from times square from a nice view. where he'd hold your waist gently so you don't trip over.
where you would look up at the fireworks awe, counting down the numbers in your head. where as peter would stare at you in awe instead of the fireworks, where he'd recall all the memories he has spent with you throughout the year, wondering on how he got so lucky.
spending new years with peter parker . . . where he'd give you a big hug & kiss when the countdown ends, his kisses so full of love it smudges your lipstick, leaving kiss marks all over his face. where he'd tease you with a cheesy joke like, "was that your first kiss since last year?"
♡⃕ — tasm!peter parker, ffh!peter parker x popstar!fem!reader
♡⃕ — genre + warning: fluff + peter is a major fan girl, mention of anxiety, failure, insecurity. lemme know if i missed anything !
♡⃕ — a/n: this includes andrew garfield and tom holland’s spiderman !
꒰ TASM!PETER PARKER ꒱
Ꮺ at first peter was doubtful of dating a pop star, especially being a simple nobody in his high school. just a boy with his camera but now he’s in front of the camera. don’t get me wrong, peter is more than thrilled to be dating you but he’s dating you. thee famous y/n, everyone’s favorite pop girl, star girl that has little girls dreaming
Ꮺ but also the lights, camera, the attention can be quite overwhelming and he will take a minute to adjust from all this. though, you won't always ask him to attend every event and he doesn’t mind attending attending every event so there
Ꮺ cause of his lowkey nature, you try to keep the relationship discreet. you would rather not have your fans swarm at peter’s door or harass him constantly at school
Ꮺ out in the public, you two would wear some type of covering so paparazzi or fans cannot tell who you both are
Ꮺ he’s try very very very hard to be your supportive boyfriend and attend every concert, every showing, every fan meet, any and everything. but being spiderman, and a high school student, he won’t always be at your hip at all times. If he can’t, he’ll send you a text that he won’t be there and send words of encouragement
Ꮺ during his duties as spiderman, if he’s not too busy, he’ll swing through the city until he reaches the venue of your concert. he’ll take a seating on the roof of it and sing along to your words, it’s not the best view but hey, it beats missing your girlfriend’s concert
Ꮺ on the roof, peter snaps some pictures of your concert and prints them off at home. he’ll hang them up on the wall above his desk, along with the many other cute pictures of just you
Ꮺ strangely enough, when you two are out on the red carpets, reporters ask about your views on spiderman. some even ship you with the masked vigilante and you just laugh it off
Ꮺ when you’re not around, he’ll sing some of your songs but definitely won’t tell you. he knows how much of a tease you can be and jokingly calls him your number one fan. of course, that title he won’t deny
Ꮺ whenever you’re at peter’s home, you play a cd of your unreleased songs or demos. you two would just sit and listen to them in peace or he’ll learn the lyrics to sing along. you always give him a copy of the cd before you go home
Ꮺ of course peter has backstage pass to your concerts so he’s usually chilling there until the show starts. he’s there to compliment your outfits, help you go over your setlist, and of course take many pictures of his beautiful pop princess
Ꮺ when things get overwhelming, you go to his home and just rant. you lay on his bed and just talk until you can’t no more, while peter sits and listens to you rant, he’ll rub your back or the top of your head. he would study how your body fluctuates as you vent, for future reference. he would silence sit in for a while than talk you through what is bothering you. whether it would be the lack of privacy, the expectations from fans, fear of failure, insecurities, etc., peter will advise well on how to handle them all. well, at least most of them
Ꮺ if the both of you are not too busy, you would bring him to your studio and show him your song-making process. it’s a very special and private place for you and why not show your loving, supportive boyfriend ?
Ꮺ he would ask questions here and there but for the rest of the time being, he’s quiet. peter would watch you write the lyrics and create a melody, he would watch you scribble and scratch in your journal as he sat across from you
Ꮺ if you appear to become frustrated, he silently hug you and asks if you want a break. he would take you on a walk, and ask more about the song to help you piece it together. sometimes you guys would stop for food, talk more about the song, and figure out what direction you wanted to go for
Ꮺ though, you don’t always have the energy to talk about songs so you would rather chat about your daily life. peter would update you on aunt may and you would tell him about your latest crazy fan experience
Ꮺ if he doesn’t have any advice, he will tell you words of encouragement. he would tell you how proud he is, how far you came, that you’re in control of who you are and not the public. he would remind you of the real you, the raw, organic y/n that he knows and loves. but also reminds me of how happy you look to be on stage or shooting in magazines as the world’s pop princess
Ꮺ speaking of, every shoot that you do for magazines, best believe peter would have every collection. sometime he’ll try to read it in class and some people speculated that he was a fan girl cause there’s no way that every issue always includes you on the front. that’s odd parker, very odd
꒰ TH!PETER PARKER ꒱
Ꮺ your biggest, BIGGEST fan. he’s got all your merch, your cds, you’re his wallpaper. literally he couldn’t be more proud to the boyfriend of everyone’s pop girl, y/n l/n
Ꮺ peter is singing your songs, loudly and bad, posting your new song on his socials, the whole nine yards. I wouldn’t say he’s staying up to listen to your new song but he does learn the lyrics to impress you
Ꮺ I would say your relationship is discreet but not too lowkey ?? like ned and mj knows about the two of you but also you post peter from time to time. If not, then you two would usually hint about the relationship but not give too much information
Ꮺ on red carpet events, peter is recording you from the first step ‘til you hit inside the venue. he’s complimenting and hyping you up, fixing any small details like a loose lash or a small wrinkle on your dress
Ꮺ as bad of a fangirl he is for you, he might be even worse for other celebrities he meets. listen, he is a teenage boy from queens, did he expect to meet gwen stefani or rihanna ? rihannna ? he’s passed out on the floor at this point. if you see one of his favorite musicians, drag him the other way….
Ꮺ now, not all the time he can attend due to his school and his duties as spiderman. but he is sending words of encouragement to fulfill his presence
Ꮺ peter would be starstruck every time he’s out with you. no he’s still not used to being in your dressing room filled with priceless jewelry, clothes that must cost hundreds, and accessories that are so unique and made just for you to wear. it’s like he’s stepped into a popstar’s bubble and very scared to touch
Ꮺ I feel like peter would refuse to believe he’s dating thee pop girl, y/n. like he knows he’s dating you but has he accepted it? let’s just say he still pinches himself every time you text him, ya know, to make sure he’s not dreaming
Ꮺ whenever you’re at peter’s home, you play a cd of your unreleased songs or demos. you two would just sit and listen to them in peace or he’ll learn the lyrics to sing along. you always give him a copy of the cd before you go home
Ꮺ secretly peter has a playlist of just your songs and only your songs. he wouldn’t allow you to see since he would feel embarrassed but ned and mj are for sure teasing him about it
Ꮺ like the other peter, he would have every single issue of your magazine covers. he doesn’t care if they’re small articles of your latest look, he is reading it !
Ꮺ between class times, he would try to watch clips of your interview and blush over how cute you look. certain questions would have him a tad bit concerned but he knows you can handle it well
Ꮺ throughout the day, peter would ask if you’re doing okay, mentally and physically. he understands how draining it is to be well-known in the public eye, especially in the age of social media. If you say no, he’ll stop by your place and comfort you with what is bothering you. also, please don’t lie to him about how you’re feeling cause his spider senses will tell him
♡⃕ lately I’ve been listening to music from the 2000s and it makes me wish to be a pop girl in the 2000s saurrrrr bad. omg-
♡⃕ it doesn’t help that one of my fave shows was hannah montana. the pop princess FRRRR
♡⃕ ngl, tasm peter was VERYYYYY hannah montana coded. I’m sawry she’s like my pop girl inspo 😞
♡⃕ I felt like I kinda didn’t do my best with tom holland peter parker ngl 😭
My headcanon for frat peter is that he joined one after gwen dies to distract himself and as a bandaid fucks everything that movies and gains a reputation oc / reader is his best friend very similar to dancing on my own ik but anyway she tries supporting him but peter is really unhealthy and she leaves for a while how do you think peter would feel about the hole she leaves behind cause she used to basically do all his emotional heavy lifting on hard days
He acts like he's fine. He's learned not to show his emotions especially around the guys. They were never big fans of her, anyway. It takes him about two weeks to finally notice that she's gone. It happens the day he's set to touch up his blonde roots. Usually he heads on over to her dorm, sneaking into the women's bathroom, while she does his hair for him. During those times are when he typically feels more free to speak his mind. They shared a lot of heart to hearts over those moments of the two of them, giggling alone in the bathroom, while he enjoys the feeling of her fussing over his hair. He feels the weight of the world leaving his shoulders for a short time whenever she's around.
This time, though, she doesn't come when he calls.
All his texts go unanswered. At first, he's worried she's hurt. He immediately thinks the worst. It's in his nature to assume that the people he loves will end up dead. Taken too early. It's not until he sees her walking around campus he's able to feel a sense of relief.
He jogs up to her, big, cocky grin on his face, and falls in step next to her. He expects her to open up like usual. Expects her to play along with his teasing. When he only receives a cold shoulder and the silent treatment, he reacts with anger.
Peter's been so angry lately. He's been struggling to feel many emotions but anger is one that always seems to make it through his closed off walls. They say that anger is a massive part of the grieving process but it's one he hasn't been able to shake.
They get into a huge, blow out fight in middle of campus over how he treats her now vs before and how he let's his friends treat her like shit. She's sick of his behavior and only using her whenever he needs something. It's never the other way around. Peter no longer shows up for her like she does for him. She can't take their one sided friendship anymore. This isn't the Peter she grew up loving.
It draws a crowd. People are watching them like they're today's entertainment. It ends with her crying, running back to her dorm, and Peter cursing out the crowds and stalking back to his frat house.
He mourns her loss in his life like he mourned for Gwen.
Denial.
It was her fault. She was being stupid. He had done nothing wrong. So what if his frat brothers teased her from to time. It was her fault she couldn't take a joke. He turned a blind eye to their behavior. He let them get inside his head. He didn't need her. He had lines of women waiting to throw themselves at his feet. What was the loss of one, stupid, annoying girl he knew as a kid? According to his brothers, she refused to put out, anyway. It was no loss to him. He didn't need her.
He buried his hurt by sleeping around more often than usual. A new woman every night. Sometimes two in the same day. He even slept with her best girl friend just to extra piss her off and get back at her.
He wanted her to hurt as much as him.
Anger
He was already the king of anger. He felt its power invade his every pore. It lived deep in his bones and consumed his every waking thought. He was getting into multiple fist fights every week. Not even as Spider-Man, just as Peter Parker.
He fought his frat brothers, he fought guys at the bar, he fought dudes on the street, he even fought his own reflection in the mirror. That one left him covered in blood and surrounded by shattered glass. He needed stitches to close up the wound. He couldn't stand the sight of his own face. He despised the man who stared back at him.
He didn't know this person. He didn't know Peter anymore.
Maybe she was right. Maybe had lost himself.
Bargaining
If he could just see her again...
If he could just see her one time. Hear her voice. That's all he wanted. He could watch her anytime he felt like it. He could overhear her talking to friends whenever he spied on her. He was Spider-Man. He was the master of stealth and shadows. But that wasn't enough. He wanted her voice to be directed at him. He didn't care what she said to him as long as she was talking. All he wanted was a fraction of her attention.
He would trade it all to get her back in his life. Just one conversation. That's he wanted. One, little talk just like old times.
She refused.
He couldn't blame her. He was a destroyer of lives. Anyone he touched crumbled around him. Whether they were killed in a plane crash, shot in the street, fell from a building, or were shoved away...they all left him in the end.
It was his fault. It was always his fault.
Depression
When he lost everything, he used to turn to sex. Now the thought of touching a woman who wasn't her only made him sick to his stomach. Alcohol was too risky. It fucked too much with his emotions. Made him reckless.
Pot was the cure.
It calmed him. Made him forget for a while. Allowed him to just relax and zone out.
He stopped going to his classes. Stopping talking to his brothers. Stopped answering his texts. It was just him, a strong joint, and the quiet of cave of his bedroom. In here, he could wallow in peace.
Peter Parker was not someone who could be trusted in the real world. He deserved to be locked up like an animal. No one needed him. He was better off alone.
This was where he would stay. In the dark. Where he belonged.
Acceptance
The state of his hair told him how much time had passed. It was back to brown. Greasy and unkempt. Shaggier than he typically liked it but he didn't care enough to get it fixed. The only person he ever wanted to touch his hair again was her.
And she deserved an apology.
He had been reading about grief online. There were five stages, so the internet says. There is no specific time period for each and they can jump between the stages whenever they feel like. He liked to hang out in the anger stage more often than the others. It was where he felt most at home. At least he understood anger. Anger made sense to him. Smoking helped quell the raging beast. That was a vice he didn't want to give up. Not yet. He wasn't ready for that step.
The world was an angry place and he fit right in.
But he was learning where to put that anger. It didn't belong on her. That was misguided. She had done nothing wrong. All she had ever done was love him. Anger was okay as long as it was placed in the right direction. He knew that now. Spider-Man could use anger to his advantage. Bad guys deserved anger. His frat brothers deserved his wrath for how they treated others. He, himself, deserved the anger. But not her.
And he needed to make amends. Even if she didn't fully forgive him, he needed to try, because she deserved to hear it, and he deserved to say it.
All it took was one text. After months of no contact. One text and she replied.
Coffee. 9am. Just the two of them.
One, little talk...just like old times.
I LOVED THIS!
It is very Dancing On My Own coded. I think what some people don't fully grasp in that story is that Peter was severely grieving through the later half of it. Gwen died because he couldn't catch her in time. He lost the love of his life because he wasn't good enough at the ONE thing he was supposed to be good at. He fully blames himself for her death. Do people not realize how seriously fucked that would make someone?? I think that's why I like to write dark!Peter so much. Because TASM Peter would be dark after that. He would not be normal. He would not be able to go back to being friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. It would ruin him. We saw that in NWH. It's still eating him alive like a decade later. The college days of Dancing On My Own took place a year after Gwen's death. The boy is fucked up.
Grief makes you do stupid things. Anger and reckless behavior is part of grief. Obvious that doesn't mean that it's okay but to completely write someone off as a monster undeserving of love just because they're hurting doesn't sit right with me. Not that you did that, I'm just going off the comments and complaints I've gotten on the fic that always low key piss me off.
And maybe I'm just not the greatest writer so that didn't come off as well as I wanted it to in DOMO but I tried my best haha. Maybe I shouldn't have ended it where I did and allowed them to grow a bit more after but I really thought that kind of stuff would just be assumed by the reader because it made sense in my head that that's how grief and healing and forgiveness go. But no one lives in my head but me so that's my fault for not executing my intentions properly!
I lovelovelove exploring grief and the different places it can take a person. Grief/depression/anger/angst are my favorite topics. Always have been since I was young. Like how Peter in this story feels most comfortable hanging out in his anger, I feel most happy in my angst and darkness. Sad people sometimes do bad things. Hurting people sometimes hurt other people. Even people they love very much. Does that make them completely incapable of change? Does that make them forever unlovable or not worthy of forgiveness? Sometimes people think too much in black and white and forget that the world is full of all sorts of grays.
Not that this was even about DOMO and I'm completely going on a tangent I know I'm so sorry haha but it's close enough to domo because it's dealing with Peter's grief and hurting of a close friend.
Here's some of my favorite pages from my favorite children's book (Michael Rosen's Sad Book) that talks about grief and the loss of someone you loved very much that's meant to teach children how to better understand their sadness and hurt and that even if you do bad things sometimes it doesn't mean that you are a bad person who doesn't deserve love and forgiveness:
ANYWAY
I just wanted to say that I love this and I love when people come to me with headcanons. That's what fandoms are supposed to be about. We're all supposed to be pestering each other 24/7 with our ideas and creating stories together and collaborating and building shit that we all love. Always send me your ideas. No matter how unhinged you might think they are bc I'm sure I've got equally as crazy ideas to play along with you!
spending spring with tasm!peter and having all kinds of cute dates
oh spring dates with peter??? expect so much.
•this man LOVES to spoil you with ALL the flowers he can possibly find. especially if it’s on a whim. walking home from school? boom picked you some flowers.
•picnic dates are a MUST. he’s always asking you 24/7 to go out with him.
“y/n! are you busy?” he asked having called you only seconds prior. no hello or anything. “no..why?” “can we go on a picnic? it’s such a pretty day out!” you chuckle, “we literally went out yesterday.” “so? i’ll pick you up in ten! love ya!”
•pollen is a bitch the both of you. but it gives him the excuse to stay in doors cuddled up with you while you both suffer from a stuffy nose.
•spontaneous dates where he will just swing you around the city on a nice day.
• fear not, even on those rainy spring days he swings over to your place and insists on building a fort. he has movies and is ready to cuddle up next to you.
•oh! and don’t forget the trips to the farmers market for fresh produce! strawberry picking is a favorite activity for the both of you.
•if you have any different hobbies or interests he will be sure to ask you if there’s any places you’d like to go. (but somehow he always ends up paying for you)
•if you love art? he shows up the next day ready to spend all day with you at an art museum.
•you love nature? put your shoes on because he’s taking you hiking!
•even if it’s too cold for swimming he still likes to take you to the beach just to sit in the sand and enjoy your company.
•at one point, peter randomly comes across this beautiful field. so what does he decide to do with this knowledge? take pictures. peter drags you along in your prettiest dress and takes so many pictures of you. it’s like he never stops, he loves it so much.
“you’re gorgeous, you know that?” you stop in your tracks. the wind blew softly through your hair and the lush grass under your feet. “what?” you ask. he grins, “you’re breathtaking. i can’t believe i got so lucky with you.” peter gently caresses your check and pecks your nose. “i love you, y/n” you grin sheepishly. “i love you too, parker.
•needless to say, peter definitely has the best date ideas.
- Curt is actually very much a cuddler. If perhaps his demeanour at work would have him as quite independent, he actually thinks about you quite a lot while he’s working, and the thought of cuddling with you brings him much comfort and makes him feel at ease.
- Most cuddles would occur when he comes back home after work, but sometimes he will sneak off during a lunch break and drop by where you can cuddle for a few minutes.
- He loves to cuddle with you after a hug hello but his most favourite of all is on the couch when you have a bit more time.
- He’ll let you rest your head on his shoulder gently while watching TV or reading a book. And during movie nights (which would usually entail a documentary of some sort), you guys will do the cutest thing; as he handles the remote with his left hand, you will give him popcorn (since he doesn’t have availability to his right arm - and three at a time! you’re not shy with amount).
- When you cuddle you’ll sometimes rest your nose against his temple, while caressing his short right arm, making sure not to linger too long on his stump due to sensibility, and you’ll nuzzle under his fine and fair blonde hair. Curt will then nuzzle his way into your neck, and try to hide in it almost. He just loves you so and you love him so that he doesn’t need to worry about being overly affectionate, because he knows how much this love means to the both of you.
- Finally, cuddling isn’t short of kisses of course, sometimes you’ll plant one on his shoulder or his cheek, and he’ll blush, just because he feels so lucky to have you. He feels so over-beamed with love when you are together in this way, that he wouldn’t ask for anything else because he couldn’t be happier.
If you want to be tagged in any of my writing, just let me know :)
He mostly gives quality time and, of course, physical touch.
Between school and his Spider-Man business, he’s really busy.
But he doesn’t let that prevent him from making time for those he loves.
He’s lost too many loved ones already and he always wishes he had more time with them.
So he wants to spend as much time with those still with him as he cans.
It might make him come across a little clingy, but it’s more adorable than annoying.
As for physical touch: touching people is something that comes so naturally to him.
A hand on your shoulder, your back, an arm around your waist, kissing your cheek…
It’s just how he shows his love.
Saying “I love you” doesn’t come easy to him, because all the people he said that to, ended up leaving him.
Instead he says stuff like “you’re a pretty great dad” and “you’re my everything”.
But getting a hug from him equals to him saying “I love you.”
To receive, his favourite love languages to receive are physical touch and words of affirmation.
Peter is rather insecure about himself, and while being Spider-Man did boost his confidence, he still needs reassurance that he’s enough.
He’s such a sucker for compliments. Tell him one of his pictures looks beautiful and he won’t get off that high for a week.
Just make sure that when you compliment him, you’re not just complimenting Spider-Man. He feels like he only matters because he’s Spider-Man sometimes, so that’s important.
Sometimes he just needs to be reminded that he’s enough and he deserves love.
As for physical touch, he loves receiving it as much as he loves giving it.
Play with his hair and he’ll turn into a fucking puddle.
He loves being held, so count on him being the little spoon 90% of the time.
Neck kisses are the best, according to him. He’ll actually bend down if you can’t reach.
Just casually touch him. Hand on his arm, head on his shoulder, arm around his waist, anything.
