who cooks normally?: light. L can bake with the best of them - it's a science after all - but he pretends that he has no idea how to even use the fucking toaster, so light does it. he acts very annoyed and long-suffering about it but honestly he likes thinking that L is at least somewhat dependent on him (FOR SUSTENANCE). light is a fucking perfectionist too so he gets pretty damn good at it.
how often do they fight?: like 70% of the time? mostly over stupid, inconsequential shit, because they run out of Real Issues to freak out about so they just yell at each other about who left a wet towel on the floor (hint: it was L, obviously) and how how much of L's money light spends on beauty care products. when they do have big blow ups, though, it involves fisticuffs and death threats and dividing the apartment in half and then fighting more about who's encroaching on who's territory and at what times. the other 30% they either have intellectual discussions, fuck, or contentedly ignore each other.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?: pretend like they give no fucks. if it's not too long they don't really give that many fucks, because 'hey, he's at home - the fucker - and i'll see him soon.' after extended periods of time, though, light starts fantasizing graphically about murdering everyone who isn't L and L drowns himself in crime scene photos and quotes 'the count of monte christo' vigorously at everyone who tries to speak to him. they try to have phonesex but it usually just ends up in fighting or amusement at the ridiculousness of it.
("i can feel your cock in me"
"actually light my cock is definitely here and consequently not in you. it must be someone else's cock. you should probably check."
"would you shut the fuck up.")
nicknames for each other?: 'kira' and 'that homeless man who drinks all the coffee and takes up all of the room on my couch with investigation documents.'
who is more likely to pay for dinner?: L, because he is hella loaded. light resolved early on not to be embarrassed about it and instead jokes that he only sleeps with L for his money. he is lying.
who steals the covers at night?: L, when he sleeps in the bed, which is not super often. and he does it on purpose and mostly just to be contrary.
what would they get each other for gifts?: L buys light clothes, cologne, etc. (you know, sugar daddy things). light gives him case files, funny obituaries, and french pastries. and sometimes, if he can manage it, vacations.
who remembers things?: they both have extremely good memories and both pretend that they have no idea what their anniversary is or even one another's birthdays. and when the fuck is christmas? who knows. let's eat gingerbread and fuck!
who cusses more?: light in general, but L will get in very serious moods where he drops all the acts and kicks over various household appliances and say 'fuck' 12 times per minute.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?: make sure it wasn't fatal, then make fun of them.
who kissed who first?: L kissed him. but light manipulated L into manipulating him into manipulating L into - you get the picture.
who made the first move?: see the above circular logic.
who started the relationship?: they sort of accidentally stumbled into it and are still trying rather desperately to figure a way out.
