#tb:phi

[notevenjupiter]

Dear. Future. Time.

@twinbluebirds

“Phi, watch out—!”

The dull pain against her head was one Phi had, unfortunately, experienced far too many times. She’d fallen hard against the ground, and and that ever so slight throb she felt, right under her left parietal bone... it was like she’d woken up on the floor of Dcom all over again, wasn’t it?

Thankfully, no, it wasn’t Dcom. Her eyes were telling her this much, once they were open. This was the public park, the one by the middle school, where she and Diana were just walking, and-

Diana.

She bolted up, trying to suppress the pain as much as possible, holding a nervous hand to her head, and frantically scanned the area. No Diana. No Diana, anywhere! And... as if this day couldn’t get any worse, a gaggle of worried middle schoolers seemed to be gathering around her, one by one, all with concerned looks on their faces, all preventing her escape. What the fuck was this? She’d never seen a single one of them a day in her life before!

No, wait. She paused. That wasn’t quite right. The scrawny, orange-haired one, with the weird eyes. The one who was closest to her, the one who looked the most shaken of all. She knew him.

Delta.

...

Wait. 

DELTA???

“What the hell?” Her first words upon awakening, directed at no one in particular - although, Delta was probably the closest to hear her. She fell backwards, scooting in reverse like a cornered animal, her eyes rapidly darting around the entire circle, before hurriedly pulling herself into a ball, a near fetal position, and shutting her eyes tight. Using a power hitherto unknown to her, she sent a message. A single, concrete thought, for only one person to hear.

G e t   m e   o u t   o f   h e r e  !!

[notevenjupiter]

"Surely there's SOMETHING you've felt petty over??" (@ Phi)

“No. Never.”

She folded her arms across her chest.

“I’ve never been petty in my entire life. Even when I’ve been betrayed, I’m a very forgiving person, and I would never, ever strand them in an underground bunker to live the rest of their days in isolation. It’s a shame that happened, but I didn’t do any of it, because I’m not petty. And for a more specific example, I have never once drawn several penises on Sigma’s face as he was sleeping because he wouldn’t stop singing Womanizer by Britney Spears. Someone may have done that, but it wasn’t me. I’m not petty. I don’t have a petty bone in my body.”

[notevenjupiter]

@psyncin-in-the-restrain​ - continued from here!

“You’re actually stopping? I’m mildly impressed. Most guys in this joint have a much harder time saying no to a little bit of the bubbly.”

No, he hadn’t been getting too rowdy. But there was a row of empty shot glasses on the table in front of him, and the bartenders at this place didn’t give a shit as long as their customers paid the tab, so... Phi had decided to take one for the team and engage the weirdo in conversation. He reminded her of Dio, but with a less punchable face. That was good.

“Last week,” she continued, “There was this big, burly security guard. Between jobs, but he still had those dumb security guard glasses on. Said he used to work for some asshole called Sejima. Anyway, he was pounding down Asahi Blacks until he passed out. I didn’t want that to happen to you.”

[notevenjupiter]

@shougancid​ - from here!

“Sigh... you’re lucky you’re hot. Otherwise, I’d have to murder you, after that stairs comment. 

And I’d do it, too. I’ve taken down professional basketball players.”

[notevenjupiter]

explain your smolness

“Life is a series of equivalent exchanges. For every good thing, something bad has to exist in equal measure.

God gave me a superpowered brain, lightning-fast reflexes, an amazing fashion sense, and the best mom on the planet. In return, he took away my ability to get things off of tall shelves.”

“Of course, I’ve never simply accepted anything the way it is, and that includes my height. How do you think I got so good at jumping? It’s because I’m getting that box of cereal myself, damn it. I don’t want anyone helping me.”

[notevenjupiter]

@convivxncia​ - continued from here!

Whether it was intuition, morphogenetic resonance, or something in her subconscious... Phi had taken one look at this girl and knew. She just knew. The little one didn’t belong to this Earth, and maybe not any Earth at all.

But she was at a small loss for words - she’d never known anyone this young to be this kind of adventurer. Or for anyone her age to just blurt it out so casually. A bit of paranoia in the back of her brain wondered if she was just wandering into some kind of trap...

There was no reason not to trust her, though. She couldn’t doubt a kid that size, never, ever. Phi had been stuck in thought for an uncomfortable few seconds, but with that clarity, she turned back to the traveler with a grin.

“Nope! It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve got a knack for spotting these things. You see... I’m not exactly from this world, either.”

[notevenjupiter]

What’s wrong but sounds right?

“If I were you, I wouldn’t drink bottled water. 

Every single bottle, no matter which brand, company, or source, contains the same chemical compound: dihydrogen monoxide. Too much dihydrogen monoxide consumption can lead to acute poisoning and a risk of death. It accelerates the rusting and corrosion of many metals. And, potentially worst of all - as the polymer hydroxyl acid, it’s a major component of acid rain. Yet we willingly take it into our bodies without thinking.

Petition your local supermarket to stop selling products containing this dangerous compound. We’ve got to warn everyone of the devastating effects of dihydrogen monoxide before it’s too late.”

[notevenjupiter]

Phi has best fashion

“I commend you on your excellent taste. I am unmatched.”