for the tell you on anon what I would never tell you otherwise
sometimes I get jealous of your eager obedience as a sub
I want to be obedient, I want to obey, but if I don't fight back, if I don't pull hard against the leash, then I don't feel safe or comfortable surrendering control
and sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me for not being able to just be good
it's time to make a little admission. to say publicly what it couldn't say privately.
as of late, it hasn't been feeling that eager. this thing knows how you feel, it too feels jealous of the platonic ideal of submission that it strives to obtain.
it wants to be obedient, it wants to obey, but if it doesn't resist a little, if it doesn't challenge the dominants around it, then it doesn't believe that they're in control enough for this thing to let go.
and sometimes it feels like there's no such thing as someone who is actually dominant who can make being good feel good.
tell me on anon what you'd never tell me off anon
No one is actually gonna do it but fuck it.
midnights anon, English Royal Family anon (new), tbh anon, continent anon (new), shy anon
midnights anon
Hi! This is in regards to your ask from a few days ago, about your dad and the doctor-
Wow. I just...men had such audacity...and they way BOTH of your parents deal with food is...
Honestly, I'm so glad that you see it's wrong and that you have a healthier relationship with food and your body. You deserve to be happy about how you look and how you eat <3 I'm so sorry you feel better in school than at home, but my teacher brain is happy that at least you have that? I know school can be rough...
For the ask about your trip to the museum- your dad sounds like he has a LOT to unpack, huh? He reminds me of my dad a bit, especially before my dad started calming down as he aged...I totally understand how frustrating dealing with a person like that can be, like you just want to tear your hair out!
And for the ask just sending me nice things- PLEASE don't feel bad about sending asks! I keep my inbox open for a reason! You are NOT bothersome, and I promise, I'm not annoyed by you <3 Thank you for the love, though.
I'm here for you, and I hope things get better soon...
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English royal family anon
Cas. Hey. I hope you are doing okay. Before I tell my problem, I need to give some lore. So I am a twin. My twin brother, let's call him San, came out as bisexual about a year ago. Our parents were never accepting much about it, but after a few months of not speaking to him, they accepted him and his boyfriend. My mom even took him to lgbtqia friendly places to hangout as a family, and I remember my father helping his boyfriend with some technological thingies.
Now, I realized I am gay. I thought it would be okay to come out since San come out before and they don't hate gays anymore?
Turns out it was a problem.
They told me since San has a boyfriend, I need to have grandkids and continue the bloodline.
Birch what are we English royal family. I remember my father screaming about nobody except his blood can take the family over or some shit. We are not even that rich, just ba small company, like why. Besides I agreed to continue it just because I like business, I won't force my potential kids to take over??
But um. So we fought. I said it was bullshit and if they want it too much they can get a grandchild, but only with surrogate mother, since I won't marry a girl.
Anyway so we kinda fight a little more, I just rushed out from home, and I am still dependent on them in financial sense, since I am in college.
My brother absolutely went crazy when he heard that and told me to come live with him and his boyfriend. (I have nothing against San's boyfriend, he is great, but I don't like being an intruder and ruib their normal life.)
So I am not sure what to do right now. I am working a part time job, but it's not enough for rent and I am currently staying at a motel (thanks to my savings)
I can also stay at the dorms of my uni but tbh the food and overall living there sucks because I have several allergies and would need to buy food anyway.
I can also drop collage for a full-time job but I don't really want to.
Um so, my parents suck.
That's it. Thanks for reading.
Hi <3 I am so sorry this has happened to you, you don't deserve it at all. You deserve a family who loves you unconditionally.
I'm so glad San has offered to take you in.
As far as advice, I can tell you what I'd do in the situation, but I can't guarantee it's right for YOU. A lot of this will be about what feels right and genuine for YOU (as long as you're safe) and that's important.
I think the first thing to do is find a temporary home. I think the best place to go is to San's, just for now. I know you feel like an intruder, but you need something that isn;t eating into your savings, and as long as it's temporary, then it's probably the best thing to do.
Then, come up with a long-term plan. Is there off-campus housing at Uni? Jobs/financial aid specifically for students? Does your government offer anything, or are there scholarships you can apply to? Please don't drop out unless you absolutely have to or you really want to...try looking at every other option first.
Use San's house as a safe place to land while you figure out a path. And while you do that, see if your family calms down. They got upset and then calmed down once, they'll probably do it again. And if they do, then you have the option to decide IF you want to forgive them. That's up to you <3
I'm sending you tons of love, it's an awful situation to be in, and I'm here if you need to vent. Please update me if you think of it!
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tbh anon
Hi!
Okay so the dark humor is making me a LITTLE nervous, but I'm so glad you're okay! That sounds terrifying! I hope everyone else was okay as well?
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continent anon
okay so i moved away from the city i've lived all my life two weeks ago yk left my friends behind and all and obviously we're all busy with our own lives but one of my friends is just idk how to explain it. it's like she's just copping out of anything and everything i ask her to explain or elaborate on. she says something about me that's a completely different interpretation of the truth and i'm like, "no that's not what it is" and then she goes "i know but we perceive ___ (what she had been describing my understanding of) differently" and i ask her to elaborate because it's about her and she's like "idk how to explain it my brain's not working rn" like she didn't go off on a long af rant about something else in her life and that too in detail and a whole lot of elaboration and analysis. and this isn't the first time it's happening. the day of my flight she came to see me off at the airport and gave me something that she and other people from school had written from me and i read it at the airport and she had written that she felt me moving away was kinda saving our friendship which i agree with. like 100% but i texted her and asked her to elaborate because i know why i feel that way but idk why she feels that way and she just went "i don't want to talk about it now" and dodged it and we still haven't discussed it two weeks later. it's getting more than just frustrating and i can't even do anything about because i'm on a completely different continent.
Hi!
Yeah from how she's acting, there's definitely a lot going on with her that she's not talking about. Which is so frustrating, because from what you've said, you've tried to talk to her! If I had to guess, she's probably worried about how your friendship is changing because of your move, but that still doesn't give her the right to act like this.
I think next time this happens, I'd just be like, "Hey. We need to talk about what's going on, because we can't keep doing things like this. It's not good for our friendship." Because it's not! Not communicating is not good for a friendship, you know? And you can even tell her that.
But if she still refuses to talk, then you need to know that that's on HER. You're trying your best and short of getting on a plane and flying to see her (which seems impossible) there's nothing you can do if she refuses to talk even after you seriously ask her to.
I'm sorry she's doing this. </3
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shy anon
Hi Cas!
I struggle really badly with religious problems and I find comfort in fics (mostly marauders) that have tags like religious guilt or internalized homophobia and stuff like that because seeing a character like me realize good things about themselves makes me feel less guilty?
Idk how to really explain it and you were the first person I ever came out to as Asexual so I'm slowly doing better, well as much as a person who isn't able to access therapy or mental help is supposed to be
Just to finish off how are you doing I know you're a teacher so how do you feel about being halfway through summer ( for the US, I believe?)
With love and sincerity,
Shy Anon
Hi! I'm so glad you're doing better! What you said about fanfic, I think that's really common. A lot of people use fanfic and other forms of expression to work through their own stuff. I talked to my therapist about it actually, and they said it's like...a safe way of accessing feelings that we may feel unsafe about, otherwise.
I'm doing okay! I'm not quite halfway through the summer yet (don't rush it, lol) and I've gotten a lot done so I feel accomplished. I'm staring to miss my students though!
I'm just a gal with a unappreciated blorbo so like a good blorbeè I'm spreading the word about him like gospel.
my goal is to get Kozak trending on Tumblr for 24 hours, enough for everyone and their mother to be talking about him. I need my blorbo to go mainstream.
you can find me at my new blog dogboy-kozak, only kozak-related media and discussion allowed.
what's your take on all waititi's fans now jumping on the jane bandwagon and saying she's the best character ever when they haven't been around AT ALL for the last ten years that jane has been a part of the mcu
To be honest, mostly just tiredness. If people want to suddenly appreciate Jane Foster, I’m not going to stop them. She’s amazing, and has a ton of backlogged fandom love from the last however many years that it is time for her to receive.
It hasn’t led to much of a consistent uptick in Jane-centric content aside from the “yas queen” posts that I’m sure this ask prompted. Will that change when Love and Thunder eventually hits? Who knows. I’ve been on this hellsite since 20-fucking-12. I don’t think any Marvel fandom happenings have the ability to faze me anymore.
If Latin is, at least officially, non-existent, then which language became the lingua franca for the Church and the whole continent? Greek? Italian? An artificial language, something like Esperanto? Something else entirely? I just realized that the idea of the non-existence of Latin is both fascinating and baffling, but fear not - it's baffling in a good way ;)
Greek for a while. I'm still, honestly, unsure if I'll erase Latin based languages - so that means Italian, Portuguese, Spanish and French - or just kinda wing it and say they exist anyway.
The sudden extinction of not only the Western Roman Empire but also all its legacy brings major historical inconsistencies, of course. One of the reasons I'll probably never use any real Kings and Lords names. The countries and organizations stay the same, but I'll be taking a lot of historical liberties.
The Church is not our Church. Though it uses the same name. The Inquisition, Templars and so forth fall within this same rule. They share a name, but not an essence.
And so does the land. So for a while? Greek was restored. Arabic, Coptic, Northen languages. The empire left a hole and nearby cultures tried to fill it. Until the Church rose and took power.
