questions and doubt | jjk (m)
➵ summary; your friends manage to plant some seeds of doubt within your mind during a lunch date and it sticks with you for days until jungkook accidentally admits three magical words.
pairing; dad!jungkook x f. reader
rating; 18+
word count; 4,854
content; oc lowkey doubting her relationship with jk, fluff, angst + smut
warnings; swearing, fingering, handjob, light choking, dirty talk, unprotected sex
a/n; another dilf installment for y’all !! hope you enjoy <3 pls let me know what you think and make sure to reblog so other people can read my shitty writing lmao 🤪 also, i didn’t proof read so ignore my typos lol :))
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“Wait, he has a kid?”
“So what?” Sandra follows up Mina’s question, “you’re a stepmom now?”
Those are the first words you get in response from your friends after telling them about Jungkook. The shock on Mina and Sandra’s faces is impossible to ignore and you know you should’ve expected a reaction like this but something within you had been optimistic that they would be less judgemental and more supportive of your relationship.
“No…” You trail off in response to your friend’s question. “I don’t know? We’re just dating, that’s all.”
“But are you sure that’s gonna work out for you?” Mina then asks. “I mean, do you even like kids?”
The soft, slightly teasing chuckle she lets out rubs you the wrong way and you can’t help but frown. Mina and Sandra have never been the types to seek out marriage or having kids – they’re nearing their late 20’s and they’re still spending most nights alone or with some random guy they’ve been seeing a few times. It’s never more than a few times. The guy sticks around for a bit but eventually he ends up disappearing and no one asks questions. You’ve never been one to judge other’s love lives but your friends don’t seem to care as they shoot questions and mocking comments at you.
“God, I can’t even imagine dating someone who’s a parent,” Sandra huffs out a chuckle, “I need a lot of attention and there’s no way I’d share it with some kid I barely know.”
You sigh deeply and sneak a glance at Jiwoo. She offers you a comforting smile in return and you feel grateful. She and her fiancé have been trying for a baby lately. If anyone understands, it would be her.
“I think it’s great, ____,” she finally says, “I’m sure it’ll work out just fine if you both want it to.”
You smile in response to her words, feeling slightly better because of them.
“You know he won’t hesitate to put his kid before you, right?” Sandra butts in once again.
She doesn’t know when to stop and you can’t help but let it get to you as you turn to look at her, only to receive another comment: “You’re gonna be in a constant battle for his attention because of that kid.”
Sure, Jungkook will always put Jihoon before you but instead of finding that agitating, you respect it. If anything, you find it absolutely endearing that there’s nothing in the world more important to him than family. You admire him so much for always trying his best to find time, to prioritize spending time with his son when he easily could’ve left it all for Minji to deal with.
She gave him a choice when she found out she was pregnant and he made his choice to be a part of it because he wanted to, not because he felt forced; if that doesn't say a lot about Jungkook then you don’t know what does.
“Jungkook and I are in a good place right now,” you tell Sandra, shifting your eyes to Mina for a split second to let her know that you’re aiming your words at her as well. “I know what it means to date someone with a kid so I don’t need you two to tell me how it works, alright?”
“____, calm down,” Mina chuckles in amusement, “we’re not trying to tell you how it works. We just don’t wanna see you become too attached only to be left in the dust every time something comes up.”
You shake your head instantly, “Jungkook would never, trust me.”
A few days later your own words come back to bite you right in the butt, proving you wrong as you hold your phone to your ear, your boyfriend’s voice sounding throughout the speaker, the word ‘sorry’ being repeated over and over after he called to cancel your plans for the night.
“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook apologizes one more time despite knowing his words won’t do much to soothe the disappointment you’re feeling right now. “I know we had plans but Minji said it’s urgent and I-”
“It’s fine,” you interrupt him, trying your best to sound as accepting as possible.
Of course, it’s fine. It’s Jihoon and if it’s urgent, your plans can wait – it was just a simple date night after all.
“I’m really sorry, baby,” Jungkook tries again. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
Shaking your head, you force a smile to yourself, “don’t worry about it, Kook. Rain check?”
You notice the heavy sigh that leaves him as he probably nods on the other end.
“Yeah, that’d be great,” he softly says, the guilty tone of his voice giving him away. You know he feels horrible for postponing your date like this but there’s no way you would ever ask him to choose you over his own son. Besides, you don’t want him to – Jihoon is way more important than another silly date night.
However, as Jungkook tells you he’ll call you later before hanging up, promising one more time that he’ll make it up to you, you can’t help but replay the words from Sandra and Mina.
‘You know he won’t hesitate to put his son before you, right?’
‘You’re gonna be in a constant battle for his attention because of that kid.’
Annoyance rises within you – simply because your friends might be right. You hate that you’re even thinking about their words. You should know that Jungkook would never leave you hanging. You trust him to tell you if he one day can’t seem to find space or time for you in his life alongside everything else.
But there’s still something deeply rooted within you as you slip out of the dress you had put on for tonight. You dump it onto your bed and head for the bathroom to take a shower, getting ready for a night in by yourself instead. You have to admit, having Jungkook here would definitely make things much better.
And Sandra and Mina’s words keep playing in your head over and over, reminding you that you are in fact in for a battle against Jihoon – the prize being Jungkook’s attention.
You can’t help but wonder if it’s always going to be like this from now on? You and Jungkook – struggling to make things work because he’s a father and his son will always be the number one priority for him. As much as you adore Jihoon, you would hate for him to be the reason everything falls apart in the future.
Maybe dating Jungkook wasn’t such a good idea after all? Maybe you’re not ready to be a part of a life like his? Maybe you and him aren’t supposed to be a part of each other’s lives?
All these questions of doubt roam your mind as you fall asleep on the couch, TV playing in the background and a bowl of half-eaten popcorn on the coffee table.
And it isn’t until your phone loudly rings on the coffee table the next morning that you realize you never made it to bed. A soft groan leaves you as you yawn and sit up to stretch your body, eyes struggling to open and face puffy from sleeping for hours on end. Your phone keeps ringing, the melody a piercing sound in your ears.
You grab it, glancing at the screen to see who’s calling. Jungkook’s name flashes across the screen, causing yesterday’s events to return to your conflicted mind – reminding you how you ended up sleeping on the couch, alone with thoughts running at 100 miles per hour.
And it takes all within you to ignore his call, not entirely sure how you’ll greet him if you were to pick it up right now. And then you ignore his call again an hour later, still not sure where you stand after the amount of doubt you felt last night while stuffing your face with popcorn and half paying attention to the movie on the TV.
Hours of ignoring his calls and texts turn to days, two whole days to be exact, and Jungkook is becoming anxious as he dials your number once more, picking at the slightly dry skin on his lips as he waits, listening intently as it rings.
“Pick up, please,” he mutters softly to himself, groaning when he receives the voicemail.
Why are you not answering him all of a sudden?
It’s very unlike you to not answer his calls and his texts. Especially for two whole days. Concern dwells in his entire body as he tries one more time, listening with his nerves on fire as the phone rings once again. When he gets voicemail for the 20th time within the past two days, he groans and dumps his phone onto his kitchen counter.
What if you’re ghosting him like the others did? What if you’re planning on breaking up with him? What if Jungkook was entirely wrong about you and misjudged you? What if you’re just like every other woman he’s been on a date with and nothing like what he believed you to be?
The concern and panic is too much to bear, causing Jungkook to grab his phone, car keys and jacket before heading out of his home. He’s desperate to know what’s going on and if you won’t answer him, he’ll just go to your place instead.
What if something happened to you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if that was the case and he didn’t go to check on you.
Once he gets there, you’re not answering the door. He knocks again and waits, tapping his foot in impatience. Just as he’s about to knock again, your neighbor pops his head out.
“Hey man,” the dark-haired guy calls, catching Jungkook’s attention. You’ve mentioned this guy before but Jungkook can’t remember his name. “She’s not home. She left for work this morning and hasn’t come back yet.”
“Oh,” Jungkook takes a step back from your door, running a hand through his hair as he sighs. “Do you know where she is then?”
Your neighbor shrugs, “no idea but my guess is she’s probably still holed up at work. She tends to do that sometimes.”
Nodding, Jungkook thanks him and turns on his heel, heading back down to his car. Thankfully, he’s picked you up at work a few times before so he knows where to go. Once he gets there, he parks his car and makes his way inside, greeting the doorman before heading up with the elevator.
When he steps out onto the 13th floor, it’s quiet. Everyone seems to have left a long time ago, the only sound being the faint tapping of someone typing on a keyboard. Jungkook heads towards the sound, finding himself making his way in the direction of your office. Once he reaches the doorway, he comes to a halt.
You haven’t noticed him yet, eyes focused on the papers in front of you and your computer screen. You’re wearing your reading glasses, hair thrown into a messy bun on top of your head and your heels are lying next to your desk, leaving you barefoot.
You look so beautiful and god, he missed you even though it’s only been two days. But the frustration from being ignored by you overrules every other emotion he feels, so he crosses his arms over his chest and clears his throat.
Surprised, you jump in your seat, clutching a hand to your chest and eyes wide in shock as you look at him.
“Oh my- Jungkook, what are you doing here?”
He shrugs, stepping inside your office and closing the door, “I could ask you the same thing.”
“I’m working,” you tell him as you resume your work, avoiding his eyes.
From the corner of your eye, you can see him taking a seat in the cushioned chair on the opposite side of your desk. He lets out a soft sigh, eyes watching you like a hawk as you continue to look at the contracts in front of you.
“It’s almost 8,” Jungkook points out.
You glance up at him, “I know.”
“Why have you been ignoring me?”
His sudden question causes your heart to skip a beat. Of course, he’d notice your lack of contact these past two days. And maybe you should’ve told him you needed a few days by yourself to collect your thoughts but doing that didn’t really cross your mind in the midst of it all. If you had told him that, he would’ve asked you to tell him what’s wrong.
And to be honest, you didn’t know and you still don’t know.
“Jungkook…”
Pain slices through your heart as he cuts you off, a tone of fear laced in his words as he speaks again, “if you’re planning on breaking up with me, please don’t drag it out.”
Despite your friends’ comments about you and Jungkook’s relationship and the doubtful thoughts you’ve had these past two days, you instantly shake your head and get up from your seat. Jungkook watches you with worried eyes as you close the distance between you and him. A soft sigh of relief escapes him as you seat yourself in his lap, hands cupping his face to make him look at you.
It feels like someone reached inside your chest and wrapped their tight grip around your heart only to start squeezing as you look at Jungkook, noticing the worry and fear in his eyes as they shift between yours. Even if your friends are right, you wouldn’t break up with Jungkook. The moment he stepped through the door to your office, you realized just how much you’ve missed him and it’s only been three days since you saw and spoke to him.
“No,” you softly tell him, “I’m not breaking up with you.”
“Then why have you been ignoring me?” He asks again.
You brush your thumbs over his soft cheeks, not sure how he’ll react once you tell him the real reason for your silent treatment. Before you can say anything, he speaks again.
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
You almost flinch at the way his voice takes on a bit of frustration, a bit of anger.
“I’m sorry,” you mutter. “It’s just…”
Jungkook’s hands wrap around your wrists, his eyes closing as he takes in the feeling of you in his lap, your thumbs caressing his cheeks, your breath clashing against his face. For two whole days he wondered if this was it, if his time with you had come to an end, if you and him would be nothing but a good memory of short-lived passion and attraction. In his heart, Jungkook knows you’re supposed to be in his life for way more than just a few months. And he’ll be damned if anything or anyone will convince you that being with him isn’t what you should be doing.
“It’s just what, ____?”
You sigh, “you know how I went out to have lunch with my friends the other day?”
He nods.
“Yeah, well, we got to talk about you and I,” you tell him, “and they said some things about us and what kind of relationship I was getting myself into because of… Jihoon. How you’d always prioritize him rather than me and that I would constantly be in a battle for your attention with him-”
“____…”
You shake your head and let your hands fall from cupping his face. Jungkook frowns as you get off his lap, taking your warmth with you. He watches as you pace the office, avoiding his eyes as you continue; “I know it’s messed up and I told them that you’d never make me feel like that but then you called and canceled the other night and their words just got to me…”
“You knew all of this when we first started seeing each other,” Jungkook lowly says and shrugs, staying seated as he leans forward. “You know he’s the most important person in my life and yes, if it got down to it right now, I would always choose him.”
“I know that,” you sigh. “That’s why I didn’t answer your calls because if I did I probably would’ve said some stuff that I don’t mean.”
Silence engulfs you and Jungkook, filling the small atmosphere of your office. You’re leaning against the wall a few feet away from him, arms crossed over your chest as you stare at the floor. Jungkook watches you, wondering if you’ve been feeling like this the entire time or if it’s just recently.
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
You glance up at him, “it never grazed my mind before my friends mentioned it.”
Your reply causes Jungkook to let out a breath of relief, the concern within him dissolving to almost nothing. For just a second, he was worried that he’d been making you feel like this ever since he first told you about Jihoon.
“I’m sorry,” you suddenly say after another beat of silence, watching with apologetic eyes as he gets up and moves closer. Jungkook’s face doesn’t show any sort of emotion as he comes to a halt in front of you. You can feel the warmth radiating off his body, engulfing you even when he’s not touching you. You lift your head to meet his eyes.
“Why are you apologizing?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper as if someone could walk in at any given moment. The office is empty – the only people left are you, Jungkook, and the doorman in the lobby.
His eyes are piercing as he stares into yours, causing a chill to run down your spine. You look down again, feeling slightly intimidated by his stare.
“I don’t want you to feel like you should choose between Jihoon and I,” you mutter, “I don’t want you to think I’m asking you to choose either because I’m not. I just want you to tell me if you one day no longer think I should be in your life.”
The words rolling off your tongue has Jungkook’s heart pausing and then cracking slightly at the edges. Just the mere thought of not having you in his life is enough to make his chest ache with a pain he hasn’t felt before.
“I’ll always want you in my life.”
Your head whips up, lips slightly parted as a response is stuck in the back of your throat. Jungkook’s face softens as he sees the hints of shock on your face. Soft touch of his thumb brushes across your cheek as he reaches up, hand cupping the side of your neck. Your arms unfolds, hands reaching for his jacket to grip the fabric as you inhale and exhale shakily.
Butterflies erupt in your chest as Jungkook leans in to leave a soft kiss on your lips, stealing the last remains of your breath away with his simple, gentle touch.
“I want you to talk to me if something is bothering you,” he tells you.
There’s a softness and vulnerability to his voice you haven’t heard before. You let out a soft sigh in defeat, feeling like you’re being too dramatic. It was never supposed to be this deep and yet here you are, asking for validation as if Jungkook’s kisses and attention isn’t enough already.
“I mean it, ____,” he pushes, tilting your head up to make you look him in the eye, “I don’t wanna lose the woman I love because she feels like I’m not choosing her.”
Of all the words he just said, only one of them in particular stands out the most and the warm, fuzzy feeling that fills your entire body brings a smile to your face. He just told you he loves you. Jeon Jungkook admitted he loves you without realizing and you can’t help but replay it in your head, loving the sound of it. Jungkook’s face twists in confusion as he watches the smile spread on your face.
“What?” He asks, slightly dumbfounded.
“You just said you love me.”
“I did?” His ears turn red in an instant, spreading to his cheeks and you can’t help but grin. You nod as he chuckles nervously, “are you sure? I don’t think-”
His words are muffled as you lean up to cut him off with a kiss, hand cupping the back of his neck to keep in place as you deepen the kiss. He sighs and melts against you, arms falling to slide around your waist, pulling you closer till your body is tightly pressed against his. His tongue slides across your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You moan softly against his mouth when his tongue touches yours, warm and wet.
Your lips stay connected as Jungkook bends to pick you up, effortlessly lifting you and wrapping your legs around his waist. Excitement floods your stomach and chest as he moves across the room and sets you down on your desk, placing himself between your spread legs. He cups your face, kissing you deeply, a million words being spoken with one kiss that has you yearning for more and more.
“I love you too,” you whisper when he pulls away, eyes shifting between yours. They speak the truth, always the truth and Jungkook can’t help but think you’re the last piece to make his life perfect in all sorts of ways. He smiles, kissing you again. Except this time it’s hungrier, urgent and impatient.
A soft moan tumbles from your mouth and into his as his hands drop to your thighs where your skirt has ridden up from when he had wrapped your legs around his waist. He squeezes the flesh of your thighs, noticing the way your skin is burning, scorching hot underneath his touch. You’re reaching for his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders to get rid of it. He removes his hands from you, helping you pull his jacket off. It falls to the floor behind him with a soft thud before he resumes his hands to your thighs. You’re already working on his belt, unbuckling it as he pushes your skirt up further until it’s hunched around your hips.
“Two days,” he groans against your lips as you push his pants down just enough to pull him out of his boxers. Your hand wraps around his already hardening length, pumping him slowly, his breath hitching in his throat the feeling. You let out a soft gasp as he reaches up, hand closing around your throat in a slightly tight grip to make you look at him. His lips are parted as he glances you over, taking in your swollen lips and hooded eyes. His breathing is shallow and ragged as he leans in again, short puffs of air brushing against your lips as he whispers; “two days I worried about whether or not you were gonna ghost me like all the other women I’ve given a chance… two days, ____. Don’t do that to me again.”
You shake your head, giving his cock a soft squeeze, “I won’t.”
“Promise me,” he growls lowly.
“I promise,” you whisper, the words for his ears only.
“Good girl.”
The words go straight to your core, a whimper leaving you as he pulls you back in for another round of hungry, desperate kisses. You welcome his mouth, moving your lips with his, tasting him and savoring every bit of it. The soft moans that leave you as he pulls your panties to the side to brush his fingers over your wet folds goes directly to his cock, making it harder and harder as you continue to pump him.
“Kook…” You softly call his name, a pleading and whimpering tone to it as he teases your clit with his thumb. “Please-”
You and Jungkook usually spends a lot of time doing foreplay before anything else but it’s been a week since you last had sex – work, ex-wife and dates with friends got in the way – and you’re both about to reach breaking point. Jungkook can tell from the way you’re arching into him, moaning against his mouth as he sinks two fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out in a slow rhythm. Jungkook hisses as you brush your thumb over his leaking tip, collecting the bead of precum.
“Screw foreplay,” he groans, removing his fingers from your warmth to wrap his hand around his pulsing length. He positions his tip at your entrance, catching your lips in another kiss just as he pushes inside, earning a gasping sound from you. Your folds wrap around him, tight and warm and so fucking perfect. “Shit-”
“Oh- my god…” You sigh blissfully as he fills you to the brim, bottoming out and stilling for a second. The feeling of his length inside of you, brushing against your walls and clit has your head falling back in pure pleasure, neck exposed for him to leave kisses on it. You lean back, hands flat against the surface of your desk as he pulls out with only the tip remaining inside of you before thrusting back into you. Jungkook’s lips leave multiple kisses on your neck and jaw as he leans over you, his hips snapping into you in a steady rhythm that has you whimpering and moaning his name out loud.
Good thing people left hours ago, otherwise you never would’ve done anything like this.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he groans, loving every sound you make and the way his name rolls off your tongue in moans. You lift your head just enough to look at him, meeting his eyes. His expression causes your walls to tighten – his hooded, dark eyes and parted, swollen and rather pink lips.
“I’m close,” you gasp when he thrusts into you rather harshly, the motion causing the desk to move just an inch.
“Missed having you like this,” he moans as he feels you tighten around him, your orgasm sneaking up on you. He leaves another few kisses on your neck as one of his hands reaches up to undo a few buttons of your blouse, your black lace bra coming into view. Your nipples are stiff underneath the fabric, brushing against it and causing friction for every time Jungkook pounds into you. Your breasts bounce with every thrust, the sound of skin against skin to sinful and lewd it pushes you closer and closer to the edge.
“Mine,” Jungkook groans, “all mine… to fuck and to love.”
His words have your heart skipping a beat and the string within your abdomen tightening until it reaches breaking point.
“Oh, fuck- Jungkook!” You cry, feeling your orgasm racing towards you in a hurry, crashing into you like a tidal wave. Your body tenses as it washes through your body, reaching the very tip of your toes and fingertips, a row of whimpering moans and whines emitting from your lips.
Jungkook follows behind almost immediately, the feeling of your walls clenching around him enough to have him still within you after one last harsh thrust, a groan of pleasure escaping his lips. He coats your walls with hot, white streaks of cum, filling you with it as he keeps grinding into you to ride out your highs.
His head falls to rest upon your shoulder, ragged breaths warming the skin where your blouse is no longer covering you. It takes a moment for him to gather himself before he lifts his head again. He shoots you a lazy smile as he cups your face, leaning down to kiss you again, ever so softly this time. Without a word, he leaves kisses in different places; your cheek, your nose, your forehead and your lips again. You bask in the attention, eyes closed while the blissful tingle of your orgasm still runs through your body.
“Let’s get you out of here,” Jungkook speaks after a long moment of silence. He brushes his thumbs over your cheeks, smiling at you. “No working this late on a Monday evening.”
“Okay,” you softly reply, smiling in return.
Moments later you’re both dressed again, leaving your office hand in hand. Jungkook’s thumb is brushing the back of your hand as you stand next to him in the elevator, head resting on his shoulder, eyes closed as you enjoy the comfortable silence. The doorman tells you goodbye as you pass him. If he knows what you’ve been doing upstairs, he doesn’t show it, the polite smile on his face covering it up.
“He knows what we did,” you tell Jungkook, looking mortified as he opens the passenger door to his car.
“He does not know,” Jungkook rolls his eyes playfully.
“I swear – he does,” you squint your eyes as you glance at the entrance to your office building over Jungkook’s shoulder. “I can tell.”
“Hey,” Jungkook calls, catching your attention again. You look at him with questioning eyes only to receive a smile. “I love you.”
Butterflies erupt in your stomach once again, a smile that matches Jungkook’s spreading across your face, “I love you too.”